This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Comparison is the thief of joy. Or so we've been told. But what if comparison isn't the problem? What if the real problem is what we do with it? We compare everything. Careers, salaries, bodies, relationships, parenting, success, and whose kids somehow unload the dishwasher without being threatened. And thanks to social media, we can feel inadequate about all of it before we've even had our morning coffee. But here's where things get interesting: What if envy isn't something to overcome, but something we can actually use? Dr. Stacy Kim is a social scientist, life coach, founder of Life Junctions, and author of Envy: Why Wanting What They Have Is the Key to Getting What You Want. She's challenging everything we've been taught about envy, jealousy, and comparison, revealing how these uncomfortable emotions can become powerful tools for self-discovery, personal growth, and building confidence. We explore: The difference between envy and jealousy — and why understanding it matters How to recognize benign envy versus malicious envy, and turn comparison into motivation instead of resentment What the Korean approach to envy can teach us about admiration, ambition, and wanting more How the SIREN framework helps uncover what envy is really trying to tell us Why what we envy isn't always what we actually want, and how to identify the deeper desire How social media comparison can impact confidence and self-worth Why some feelings of envy disappear quickly while others deserve our attention Practical ways to turn envy into action, personal growth, and meaningful change Envy is information, not instruction. It can point us toward what matters, but we still get to decide what we want and what we're willing to do about it. So instead of letting someone else's success derail our confidence, let's get curious about what it's telling us — and use it to build a life that actually feels like our own. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Stacy:  Website: https://stacyskim.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Envy-Wanting-What-They-Getting/dp/1538776715;   IG: https://www.instagram.com/stacykim.phd/;  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacyskim/ Related Podcast Episodes: On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be “Good” with Elise Loehnen | 388 UNCOMPETE: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success with Ruchika T. Malhotra | 398   VI4P - Comparison, Judgement, and Choosing Confidence (Chapter 9)  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've all done it. Avoided the conversation, hoped the problem would magically disappear, or convinced ourselves that someone should just know what we need without us having to actually say it. And how's that working out? The truth is, the conversations we avoid don't go away. They take up space, create resentment, damage relationships, and sometimes turn a relatively small issue into a full-blown shitshow. In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Christina Wing, Harvard Business School senior lecturer and author of Unspeakable: The Taboo Topics We Avoid and How to Talk About Them, to explore why we're so damn uncomfortable talking about the things that matter most. In this episode, they discuss: Why avoiding uncomfortable conversations often creates bigger problems than having them. How talking about someone instead of to them can fuel resentment and unnecessary drama. Why money conversations feel so personal and how to separate financial circumstances from self-worth. The difference between a difficult conversation and a difficult moment. How to recognize when it's your place to speak up and when it's better to stay out of it. What to do when someone becomes defensive or refuses to engage. Why everyday annoyances can turn into major relationship problems when left unaddressed. The two biggest mistakes people make when approaching difficult conversations. Why conversations about estate planning, death, and our final wishes need to happen sooner rather than later. Having the conversation doesn't guarantee we'll get the outcome we want. But avoiding it almost guarantees we won't have a voice in what happens next. Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop overthinking, stop rehearsing, and just say the damn thing. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Christina:  Website: https://www.christinawing.com/  Book: https://www.christinawing.com/book/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/christina.r.wing/  Related Podcast Episodes: How to Push Back: From People-Pleasing to Power with Tonya Lester | 369 Love, Money & Aging Parents: How to Plan Care (Before the Crisis) with Beth Pinsker | 359  195 / Finding (And Using) Your Voice with Amy Green Smith  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For years, remote work has felt like a win. No commute, more flexibility, fewer pointless hours spent proving we're working simply because someone can see us. And for women, especially caregivers, that flexibility can be a game changer. But what if there's a downside we're not talking about enough? In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with economist Natalia Emanuel, co-author of In Person: How Working Together Fuels Creativity, Productivity, and Growth, to challenge some deeply held beliefs about remote work. In this episode, they discuss: Why working face-to-face can improve learning, creativity, and career advancement. The surprising connection between remote work, isolation, and mental health. Why being in the office isn't the same as meaningful in-person collaboration. How remote work can disadvantage younger employees and those starting new roles. Why mentorship and workplace culture need to be valued and rewarded. The complicated trade-offs between workplace flexibility and caregiving responsibilities. Five factors organizations should consider when deciding how much in-person work is necessary. Why predictable schedules and workday social activities matter, especially for women. How AI could make human connection even more valuable. The answer isn't all remote or all in person. It's about being intentional with our time, challenging outdated workplace expectations, and creating environments where people can actually thrive. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Natalia:  Website:https://www.nataliaemanuel.com/  Book: https://inpersonbook.com/  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nataliaemanuel?trk=public_post_feed-actor-name  Related Podcast Episodes The Connection Cure: Social Prescribing, Loneliness, and Why Belonging Is Medicine with Julia Hotz | 373 The Power of Conscious Connection with Talia Fox | 263 Work Doesn’t Have to Suck: The Case for Fun, Joy, and Better Results with Bree Groff | 382 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Edelman, founder of IndieReader and Pretty Prepared, and Chris Begley, an archaeologist, professor, and wilderness survival instructor, make disaster readiness feel practical, not paranoid. They discuss preparing for likely local emergencies, creating a free household plan, building go bags, supporting pets and varying needs, and why useful skills and strong neighborhoods beat excessive gear. Plus, the surprising role of coffee, chocolate, and morale.

Domestic violence doesn’t always start with a punch. It often starts quietly, with control disguised as concern, isolation disguised as love, and boundaries being chipped away so slowly that it can be hard to recognize what’s happening until the danger is very real. Denise Brown knows this in the most devastating way possible. Her sister, Nicole Brown Simpson, was murdered in 1994 after experiencing domestic violence in her marriage. For more than 30 years, Denise has dedicated her life to domestic violence awareness, victim advocacy, education, and helping women recognize the warning signs she wishes she had understood then. Her new book, For My Sister Nicole: Love Shouldn’t Hurt, shares Nicole’s story while giving victims, survivors, families, and friends resources that could save lives. In this episode, Nicole and Denise discuss: Why domestic violence is about power and control—and why it can happen to strong, independent women The early warning signs of an abusive relationship that are easy to dismiss or explain away Why victims may hide abuse to protect their children, family, friends, pets—or even their abuser The hope, shame, and fear that can make leaving an abusive relationship incredibly complicated How friends and family can support someone experiencing domestic violence without trying to control their decisions The importance of safety planning and working with domestic violence shelters when preparing to leave Why calling 911, documenting abuse, and creating a paper trail can matter The Domestic Violence Bill of Rights—and the reminder that everyone has the right to safety, respect, their own opinions, and the word “no” This is a hard conversation, but it’s an important one. Because love should never require someone to live in fear, walk on eggshells, surrender their autonomy, or make themselves smaller to stay safe. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has trained advocates available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE, by texting START to 88788, or at TheHotline.org. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Denise: Website: https://denisebrown.com/  Book: https://www.amazon.com/My-Sister-Nicole-Julie-McCarron/dp/B0FXYCGS99  FB: https://www.facebook.com/DeniseBrownToo  IG: https://www.instagram.com/DeniseBrownToo  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/denise-brown-6644762  Related Podcast Episodes What Does a Woman Have to Do to Be Believed? Sexual Assault, Accountability & Double Standards with E. Jean Carroll | 363 High-Functioning Codependency: When Being “The Strong One” Is Slowly Killing You with Terri Cole | 341 What a “Good Divorce” Can Look Like with Erin Levine | 426 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Charisma. Some people seem to walk into a room and just have it. People lean in, listen, remember them, and want more time with them. And for those of us who are introverts? Well, it can be easy to assume we were simply left out of the charisma lottery. But what if charisma isn’t something we’re born with? What if it’s something we can actually learn? In this episode, Nicole sits down with Olivia Fox Cabane, one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of charisma and bestselling author of The Charisma Myth. Olivia has taught and lectured at Stanford, Harvard, Yale, MIT, and the United Nations and has worked with leaders at companies including Google, Deloitte, TikTok, and Airbnb. They discuss: Why charisma is different from charm and likability The science showing that charisma can actually be learned Why there isn’t one “right” kind of charisma The potential downsides of becoming more charismatic Why introverts may have a major charisma advantage The three components of charisma: presence, power, and warmth Why self-criticism makes it harder to stay present and connected How instant self-forgiveness can help us recover from awkward moments Why mistakes can actually make us more relatable Why taking up space matters when communicating power How vocal patterns like uptalk can affect perceived authority and credibility The difference between being nice and being kind Why the harsher the message, the warmer the delivery should be How intent and impact can help distinguish influence from harmful manipulation How charisma can exist without likability Why learning charisma doesn’t require becoming someone else The goal isn’t to walk into a room and make everyone think, Wow, she’s charismatic. It’s to stop borrowing somebody else’s magnetism and start trusting our own. Thank you to our sponsors! Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Olivia: Website: https://www.oliviafoxcabane.com/  Book: https://www.charismamyth.com/  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ofc/  Related Podcast Episodes 165 / The Introvert Who Could with Andreea Sandu Be A Likeable Badass with Alison Fragale | 230 Powerfully Likeable with Dr. Kate Mason | 364 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We spend a whole lot of time thinking about how other people perceive us. How we communicate, present, negotiate, network, make a good impression, say the right thing at the right time. Basically, we put a lot of effort into being interesting. But what if we spent more time being interested? Because entire conversations are happening around us that have nothing to do with what anyone is actually saying. And we might be missing all of it because we’re too busy planning the next brilliant thing we’re going to say. In this episode, Nicole sits down with Pamela Meyer, a leading expert on deception detection who trains executives and institutional leaders on information elicitation, social observation, and insider threat mitigation. She’s also the author of How to Read the Room: The Art and Science of Social Observation. They discuss: Why being confident in our ability to read a room doesn’t mean we’re actually good at it Why talking less can help us notice more How our own ego, biases, and needs distort what we observe Why asking “How can I make this room better?” can change an interaction Pamela’s “Triple B” method: background, behavior, and beliefs What to watch immediately after conflict happens How to identify informal power and influence in a room The back-pocket questions that can reveal what people are really thinking Why crossed arms, eye contact, and other body language “rules” can mislead us Why clusters of behavior matter more than individual gestures Verbal and nonverbal signals that may warrant closer attention when deception is suspected How to avoid confusing anxiety or nervousness with dishonesty Why context, curiosity, and giving people the benefit of the doubt matter Maybe the most powerful person in the room isn’t the one talking the most. Maybe it’s the one paying attention. Thank you to our sponsors! Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Pamela: Website: https://PamelaMeyer.com  Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250378230?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback  X: https://x.com/Pamela_Meyer  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelameyer  Related Podcast Episodes How To Listen with Emily Kasriel | 321 Pants On Fire (The Truth About Lying) with Lauren Handel Zander | 219 131 / Maximize Your Success By Managing Your Ego with Christie Garcia Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the problem isn’t that there aren’t enough hours in the day, but that we’re giving too many of them away? For a long time, doing more was practically a badge of honor. More meetings. More preparation. More polishing. More yeses. More proving. And while all that effort might get results, it can also leave us burnt out, resentful, and wondering why the hell we’re working this hard when technology was supposed to make our lives easier. In this episode, Nicole sits down with Fran Hauser, leading career expert, champion of women in the workplace, former President of Digital at Time Inc., startup investor, and acclaimed author of 20 Minutes Is the New Hour: The Ambitious Woman’s Guide to Doing Less and Achieving More. They discuss: Why 20 minutes might actually be enough for that hour-long meeting The four P’s stealing our time: perfectionism, people pleasing, procrastination, and padding How people pleasing creates overwhelm, burnout, and resentment The power of pausing before automatically saying yes Why saying yes to every opportunity can actually work against women professionally How to recognize what’s underneath procrastination Why starting messy can create momentum How shorter timelines can force clarity and keep perfectionism from taking over The difference between Chronos and Kairos How leaders can experiment with shorter meetings and meeting-free time Why doing less isn’t about caring less—it’s about being intentional with our most precious resource The goal isn’t to reclaim 40 minutes from a meeting just to squeeze two more meetings into the space. It’s to stop giving away so much of our time to habits, expectations, and systems that don’t deserve it. Thank you to our sponsors! Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Fran: Website: https://www.franhauser.com/  Book: https://www.franhauser.com/twentyminutes  IG: https://www.instagram.com/fran_hauser/  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/franhauser/  Related Podcast Episodes CLASSIC EPISODE: The 15-Minute Method To Getting It Done with Sam Bennett The Ambition Trap with Amina AITai | 309 119. Realistic Time Management for High-Performing Women Entrepreneurs Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Michelle Gielan, a positive psychology researcher, bestselling author, and former CBS Morning News anchor, explores resilient optimism in hard times. She and Nicole discuss toxic positivity, holding pain and possibility together, training the brain to spot solutions, and the five behaviors that support resilience. They also examine strategic rest, information diets, and why connection matters.

Dr. Helen Krug von Nidda, executive coach, career counselor, Stanford instructor, and author, explores why successful women can still feel unfulfilled at work. They discuss the fulfillment gap, shifting needs across career stages, values as career breadcrumbs, the MOVE framework, and the surprising power of weak ties. Plus, practical ways to assess your work and make meaningful changes.