This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Somewhere along the way, mental toughness became synonymous with pushing through pain, ignoring exhaustion, suppressing emotions, and pretending we're fine when we're one minor inconvenience away from losing our shit. But what if being mentally strong isn't about how much we can endure? What if it's about knowing when to push, when to pause, and when to say, "Nope, this isn't working anymore"? Joining us is Amy Morin, psychotherapist, mental strength trainer, internationally bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, and host of the Mentally Stronger podcast. Her newest book, The Mental Strength Playbook: 50 Tools to Cope with Stress, Thrive Under Pressure, and Gain a Competitive Edge in the Workplace, offers practical, research-backed strategies for building emotional resilience, managing anxiety, overcoming self-doubt, and handling workplace stress. In this episode, we explore: Mental strength vs. mental toughness: Why pushing through everything isn't always a sign of strength, and how to recognize when it's time to change course. How to manage anxiety and stress: Simple techniques to turn nervous energy into confidence before important meetings, presentations, and high-pressure situations. How to stop overthinking and make better decisions: Why taking a break can actually improve problem-solving, and how to overcome decision fatigue. How to deal with difficult people: A surprisingly hilarious strategy called "behavior bingo" that helps us protect our energy without trying to change everyone around us. How to build confidence and emotional resilience: Why we don't have to feel strong to act strong, and how everyday choices build mental strength. How to stop excessive worrying: The 15-minute daily worry technique that can help quiet an anxious mind and improve focus. How to recognize burnout and unhealthy stress: Knowing the difference between discomfort that helps us grow and situations that are doing real damage. Because women have been handling hard things for generations. We don't need another motivational speaker telling us to toughen up. We need practical tools to navigate stress, trust ourselves, set boundaries, and stop treating every struggle like a personal failure. Thank you to our sponsors! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Connect with Amy: Website: https://amymorinlcsw.com  Book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/789708/the-mental-strength-playbook-by-amy-morin/  Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-stronger-with-therapist-amy-morin/id1687655510  IG: https://www.instagram.com/amymorinauthor/  X: https://x.com/amymorinlcsw  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFbv757kup4  Related Podcast Episodes:  Emotional Fitness for Real Life with Dr. Emily Anhalt | 371  The Resilience Myth with Soraya Chemaly | 249  Beyond Quick Fixes: Building Better Mental Health From the Inside Out with Dr. Celeste Birkhofer  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trauma sucks. It doesn’t need a gratitude journal, a silver lining, or a rebrand as “the best thing that ever happened.” So when a book called Trauma Is Your Superpower landed on Nicole Kalil’s radar, she had questions. In this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole welcomes Dr. Louise Stanger, a nationally recognized interventionist, licensed clinical social worker, and author of Trauma Is Your Superpower. With more than four decades helping individuals and families navigate addiction, trauma, and crisis, Louise explores how painful experiences can shape a life without getting to run the whole show. Together, they discuss grief, trauma recovery, self-blame, and the difference between taking responsibility and deciding everything is somehow one’s fault. They also explore why healing needs connection, why friendship breakups deserve space to be mourned, and how compassion can coexist with honesty and accountability. Topics include: How trauma can shape identity without becoming the entire identity Giving grief room without putting healing on a deadline Recognizing repetitive thoughts, shame, and self-blame Separating personal responsibility from fault Finding community, trustworthy support, and a nonjudgmental listener Practicing compassion while still telling the truth Making space for different responses to loss, including relief Seeking support when grief or painful experiences remain unresolved Nobody owes the world an inspirational comeback story. Reclaiming voice, self-trust, and choice can be powerful enough—and what happened doesn’t get to write every chapter that follows. Thank you to our sponsors! Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Connect with Louise: Website: https://allaboutinterventions.com/    Book: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Trauma+Is+Your+Superpower+Louise+Stanger    Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ask-dr-louise/id1893970305  Related Podcast Episodes: The Biology Of Trauma - And How To Heal It with Dr. Aimie Apigian | 346 The Fourth Trauma Response You’ve Never Heard Of (And How It’s Running Your Life) with Dr. Ingrid Clayton | 342 127 / Trauma with Jessi Beyer  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many women spend years building successful careers, raising families, checking every box, and creating lives they can be proud of—only to realize something important is missing: community. Somewhere along the way, connection becomes something to get to later, replaced by busyness, productivity, and the belief that meaningful relationships will somehow happen on their own. In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with journalist, podcast creator, and author Katherine Goldstein to explore why friendship isn't enough, why community requires intention, and how small acts of neighboring can create the kind of meaningful support so many women are longing for. Together, they challenge the idea that connection is reserved for extroverts or people with unlimited free time, offering practical ways to build deeper relationships through everyday interactions. In This Episode, Nicole and Katherine Discuss: The difference between friendship and community—and why both matter. Why so many women are missing the "middle ring" of meaningful relationships. How modern life has made building community more difficult. Why community often becomes most important during times of crisis. How to shift from waiting to "find your people" to intentionally building connection. Why no community will ever meet 100% of your needs—and why that's okay. Katherine's definition of "neighboring" and why small actions matter. The concept of "deep casual" gatherings and how low-pressure hosting creates stronger relationships. Why lowering the bar for entertaining actually leads to deeper connection. The importance of protecting community from logistical burnout. The surprising types of groups Katherine recommends not relying on to build lasting community. Why investing in nearby relationships can create the support systems we all need. Together, these insights offer a practical and refreshing roadmap for building the kind of community that sustains us in everyday life.  Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Katherine: Substack: https://thedoubleshift.substack.com/  Website: katherinegoldstein.com   Pre-order the Book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/796461/neighboring-by-katherine-goldstein/  Related Podcast Episodes: The Connection Cure: Social Prescribing, Loneliness, and Why Belonging Is Medicine with Julia Hotz | 373 The Power of Conscious Connection with Talia Fox | 263 Creating A Connected Community to Grow Your Business with Kami Guildner | 221 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We tell women to speak up, set boundaries, advocate for themselves, negotiate for more, and stop waiting for permission. Great advice. But there's one tiny problem: What the hell are we actually supposed to say? Because knowing what you want and knowing how to ask for it are two very different skills. Especially when your brain decides to take an unscheduled vacation right when you need it most. Joining This Is Woman's Work is Emily Lampkin, author of Duct Tape and White Lies, founder of the Women Leader series, and a speaker and advisor with more than 25 years of experience helping women lead, succeed, and get what they want. In this episode, we explore: How to ask for what you want without overexplaining, oversharing, or apologizing What to say when you freeze in a difficult conversation and can't find the right words How to set boundaries and say no without feeling guilty or needing to justify yourself Why self-advocacy and self-promotion aren't bragging, and how to confidently communicate your value Practical strategies for asking for a raise, negotiating a promotion, and creating career opportunities Why every woman needs a "swimsuit friend" who will tell her the truth How to handle rejection, follow up when you're ghosted, and stop taking every no personally Why taking action before you feel ready is the secret to building confidence and getting what you want Because confidence doesn't come from getting every conversation right. It comes from trusting yourself enough to have the conversation. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Emily:  Website: https://www.emilylampkin.com/  Book: https://www.emilylampkin.com/author  FB: https://www.facebook.com/emily.k.lampkin  LI: linkedin.com/in/emilylampkin  Related Podcast Episodes The 3 N’s - Negotiation, Networking & No with Kathryn Valentine | 327 201 / How To Find The Right Words When Creating Boundaries with Amy Green Smith Powerfully Likeable with Dr. Kate Mason | 364 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women are taught to be agreeable, accommodating, self-sacrificing, and well-behaved. To stay quiet, make everyone comfortable, and take up as little space as possible. Yeah, no thanks. What if the goal isn't to become a better-behaved woman, but to reclaim who we were before the world taught us to shrink? Avril Millar, author of Feral: A Grown Woman's Guide to a Free and Ferocious Life, joins Nicole Kalil to challenge societal expectations keeping women small. After five careers, losing everything in her 40s, and starting over at 50, Avril is now 74 and has plenty to say about confidence, self-love, reinvention, and refusing to be tamed. We explore: What it means to be feral and reclaim your authentic self How societal conditioning teaches women to be agreeable and self-sacrificing Why midlife and menopause can be opportunities for reinvention How to recognize the expectations and "shoulds" holding us back Why trusting your intuition starts with learning to pause How to stop worrying about what other people think Why self-awareness is essential to confidence and personal growth How to build a healthier relationship with yourself and practice unconditional self-love What Avril has learned about resilience, starting over, and embracing life at 74 Being feral isn't about being reckless or selfish. It's about questioning the rules we've been following, trusting ourselves, and deciding which expectations no longer deserve our obedience. Perhaps the most important relationship we'll ever have is the one we have with ourselves. So it's time to stop becoming who everyone else needs us to be and start embracing who we actually are. We were never meant to become less of ourselves. We were meant to become more. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Avril:  Website: https://www.avrilmillar.com  Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Avril-Millar/author/B00DCLLFUS  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/avrilmillar  IG: https://www.instagram.com/avrilmillar/  Related Podcast Episodes: On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be “Good” with Elise Loehnen | 388 Aging Out of F*cks (Your Confidence Upgrade) with Ellen Scherr | 394 Reinventing Your Career (Again and Again) with Ilana Golan | 374 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've traded ancient oracles and crystal balls for algorithms, but our desire to predict the future hasn't changed. Today, AI predictions influence everything from hiring and healthcare to loans and personal decisions. But predictions aren't facts, and prophecy isn't destiny. So who's really in control? Carissa Véliz, Oxford AI ethics expert and author of Privacy Is Power and Prophecy: Prediction, Power, and the Fight for the Future, from Ancient Oracles to AI, joins Nicole Kalil to explore the intersection of prophecy, artificial intelligence, privacy, and power — and why we should think twice before letting algorithms decide our future. We explore: Why AI is a prediction machine, not a truth machine How AI predictions influence hiring, healthcare, loans, and major life decisions What ancient prophecies can teach us about modern algorithms How algorithmic bias and self-fulfilling prophecies threaten fairness and freedom Why ChatGPT can sound convincing while being completely wrong The hidden privacy risks of using AI tools How to protect critical thinking, personal agency, and decision-making in an AI-driven world AI can make life easier, but that doesn't mean it should make our decisions. Understanding how these systems work helps us question their predictions, protect our privacy, and reclaim our power. Prediction is not destiny. Data is not the whole story. And an algorithm doesn't get to decide what's possible for us. The future isn't something we wait to have predicted. It's something we create. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Carissa:  Book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/759692/prophecy-by-carissa-veliz/   LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carissa-v%C3%A9liz-a5781555/  Related Podcast Episodes: Unmasking AI with Dr. Joy Buolamwini | 259 AI, Hiring, and the Future of Work (Without Selling Your Soul) with Katie Fortunato | 395  THE INSTABILITY OF TRUTH: Brainwashing, Mind Control, and Hyper-Persuasion with Rebecca Lemov | 333  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when a confidence expert has a wardrobe malfunction in front of hundreds of women? One hell of a lesson in self-trust. After an 11-week European sabbatical, Nicole Kalil returned to the keynote stage feeling rusty, nervous, and full of self-doubt. Despite 20 years of teaching confidence, her brain was busy imagining everything that could go wrong. Turns out, none of those things happened. Instead, her left boob decided to make its own keynote presentation. In this unfiltered and unhinged solo episode, Nicole shares what an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction taught her about overcoming self-doubt, letting go of perfectionism, and trusting herself when life doesn't go according to plan. We explore: Why even confidence experts struggle with self-doubt How overthinking and catastrophizing fuel fear of failure Why perfectionism can't protect us from embarrassment The power of vulnerability, humor, and embracing imperfection How to build real confidence by trusting yourself through the unexpected Confidence isn't knowing everything will work out. It's trusting that we'll be okay even if it doesn't. And sometimes, that lesson comes with a little unexpected exposure. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at Greenlight.com/TIWW. Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills! Connect with Nicole: Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/  Related Podcast Episode: On Sabbaticals, Reinvention, and Getting Older | Unfiltered & Unhinged When a One-Star Review Means You’ve Officially Arrived | Unfiltered & Unhinged Am I Being a Bitch… Or Just Finally Being Honest? | Unfiltered & Unhinged Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comparison is the thief of joy. Or so we've been told. But what if comparison isn't the problem? What if the real problem is what we do with it? We compare everything. Careers, salaries, bodies, relationships, parenting, success, and whose kids somehow unload the dishwasher without being threatened. And thanks to social media, we can feel inadequate about all of it before we've even had our morning coffee. But here's where things get interesting: What if envy isn't something to overcome, but something we can actually use? Dr. Stacy Kim is a social scientist, life coach, founder of Life Junctions, and author of Envy: Why Wanting What They Have Is the Key to Getting What You Want. She's challenging everything we've been taught about envy, jealousy, and comparison, revealing how these uncomfortable emotions can become powerful tools for self-discovery, personal growth, and building confidence. We explore: The difference between envy and jealousy — and why understanding it matters How to recognize benign envy versus malicious envy, and turn comparison into motivation instead of resentment What the Korean approach to envy can teach us about admiration, ambition, and wanting more How the SIREN framework helps uncover what envy is really trying to tell us Why what we envy isn't always what we actually want, and how to identify the deeper desire How social media comparison can impact confidence and self-worth Why some feelings of envy disappear quickly while others deserve our attention Practical ways to turn envy into action, personal growth, and meaningful change Envy is information, not instruction. It can point us toward what matters, but we still get to decide what we want and what we're willing to do about it. So instead of letting someone else's success derail our confidence, let's get curious about what it's telling us — and use it to build a life that actually feels like our own. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Stacy:  Website: https://stacyskim.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Envy-Wanting-What-They-Getting/dp/1538776715;   IG: https://www.instagram.com/stacykim.phd/;  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacyskim/ Related Podcast Episodes: On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be “Good” with Elise Loehnen | 388 UNCOMPETE: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success with Ruchika T. Malhotra | 398   VI4P - Comparison, Judgement, and Choosing Confidence (Chapter 9)  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've all done it. Avoided the conversation, hoped the problem would magically disappear, or convinced ourselves that someone should just know what we need without us having to actually say it. And how's that working out? The truth is, the conversations we avoid don't go away. They take up space, create resentment, damage relationships, and sometimes turn a relatively small issue into a full-blown shitshow. In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with Christina Wing, Harvard Business School senior lecturer and author of Unspeakable: The Taboo Topics We Avoid and How to Talk About Them, to explore why we're so damn uncomfortable talking about the things that matter most. In this episode, they discuss: Why avoiding uncomfortable conversations often creates bigger problems than having them. How talking about someone instead of to them can fuel resentment and unnecessary drama. Why money conversations feel so personal and how to separate financial circumstances from self-worth. The difference between a difficult conversation and a difficult moment. How to recognize when it's your place to speak up and when it's better to stay out of it. What to do when someone becomes defensive or refuses to engage. Why everyday annoyances can turn into major relationship problems when left unaddressed. The two biggest mistakes people make when approaching difficult conversations. Why conversations about estate planning, death, and our final wishes need to happen sooner rather than later. Having the conversation doesn't guarantee we'll get the outcome we want. But avoiding it almost guarantees we won't have a voice in what happens next. Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop overthinking, stop rehearsing, and just say the damn thing. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Christina:  Website: https://www.christinawing.com/  Book: https://www.christinawing.com/book/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/christina.r.wing/  Related Podcast Episodes: How to Push Back: From People-Pleasing to Power with Tonya Lester | 369 Love, Money & Aging Parents: How to Plan Care (Before the Crisis) with Beth Pinsker | 359  195 / Finding (And Using) Your Voice with Amy Green Smith  Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For years, remote work has felt like a win. No commute, more flexibility, fewer pointless hours spent proving we're working simply because someone can see us. And for women, especially caregivers, that flexibility can be a game changer. But what if there's a downside we're not talking about enough? In this episode of This Is Woman's Work, Nicole Kalil sits down with economist Natalia Emanuel, co-author of In Person: How Working Together Fuels Creativity, Productivity, and Growth, to challenge some deeply held beliefs about remote work. In this episode, they discuss: Why working face-to-face can improve learning, creativity, and career advancement. The surprising connection between remote work, isolation, and mental health. Why being in the office isn't the same as meaningful in-person collaboration. How remote work can disadvantage younger employees and those starting new roles. Why mentorship and workplace culture need to be valued and rewarded. The complicated trade-offs between workplace flexibility and caregiving responsibilities. Five factors organizations should consider when deciding how much in-person work is necessary. Why predictable schedules and workday social activities matter, especially for women. How AI could make human connection even more valuable. The answer isn't all remote or all in person. It's about being intentional with our time, challenging outdated workplace expectations, and creating environments where people can actually thrive. Thank you to our sponsors! To see what Scribe could look like for your team, head to https://scribe.how/TIWW  and mention TIWW for your first month of Scribe Capture free on select plans Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year Connect with Natalia:  Website:https://www.nataliaemanuel.com/  Book: https://inpersonbook.com/  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nataliaemanuel?trk=public_post_feed-actor-name  Related Podcast Episodes The Connection Cure: Social Prescribing, Loneliness, and Why Belonging Is Medicine with Julia Hotz | 373 The Power of Conscious Connection with Talia Fox | 263 Work Doesn’t Have to Suck: The Case for Fun, Joy, and Better Results with Bree Groff | 382 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices