Typology

Taking an Enneagram assessment is a great first step in learning about yourself and how you relate to others and the world. So, how do you use that information to explore who you are in relationship to your life partner? On Typology, we talk a lot about the role the Enneagram plays in how we relate to others. Over the next four weeks, we’re going to focus on partnerships by reflecting on past interviews with couples on the show. These won’t be straight replays. Instead, I’m going to stop at certain points and provide some commentary on how you can improve the quality of your important relationships through the Enneagram. For Annie and me, the Enneagram was probably the single most important revelation in our relationship.  It has illuminated so much for us over the years. But we would have saved a ton of time and heartache if we had a tool that explained how our specific types work against and complement each other. That’s why I’m thrilled to share the new Enneagram Couples Assessment from Integrative Enneagram Solutions.  It does just that.  This new report provides a window into how you and your partner’s specific Enneagram types interact, highlights the strengths each of you brings to the relationship, and identifies potential pitfalls to look out for.  Now, let’s kick things off with a fresh look at my interview with Kim and Penn Holderness.  Tune in for some valuable insights into what makes their marriage work.   P.S. Get your Couple’s Report now. Use discount code COUPLES to receive 10% off your assessment.

Life doesn't always go as we plan.  As we grow up, we develop certain expectations about who we are and what we'll become.  But sometimes those dreams don't come true. So, what do you do when the dreams die? Artist, Artist, and Enneagram 4, Scott Erickson joins me for a discussion about life beyond the death of those dreams.  We explore the importance of grieving past expectations and he illustrates the freedom that comes from saying yes to new opportunities and finding your true self in the gifts of life.  

Enneagram Threes tether their identity and self-worth to how others see them and strive for validation through their accomplishments. So, how does the Achiever see their own value without the esteem and approval of others? Today, we go under the hood of Enneagram 3, Pat Flynn. He shares how the insights he’s gleaned from the Enneagram have deepened his relationship with his wife and opens up about his struggle to find self-worth apart from the love and praise of others,  Tune in to this transparent conversation on Apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player.

As most of you know, I have long been an evangelist for a daily meditative practice if for no other reason than to help people on their journey of self-discovery. There’s power in the silence.  It trains us to be present, to hear our own voice, and to acknowledge who we truly are. In today’s episode, Rick Hamlin joins me for a rich conversation about how meditation leads to greater compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance.  We explore how silence helps us develop the muscle of attention that gives us the capacity to stand back and observe ourselves so we can recognize our repeating thought patterns. We cover the benefits of meditation and then offer a few recommendations on how to begin your meditation journey.

What does it mean to be “masculine.” Unfortunately, there are a lot of conflicting ideas and messages about what a “real man” is (and is not). In today’s episode, author, nationally syndicated radio show host, and Enneagram Five, Brant Hansen challenges us to redefine masculinity and paints a refreshing picture of what it looks like at its absolute best.   We have an insightful conversation about the: importance of expressing feelings and affection value of protecting others from a place of kindness and love, rather than control and anger core task men need to take responsibility for, and Six decisions that set men apart from others   Brant’s vulnerability and openness will genuinely move you.  Brant Hansen is an author, radio host, and advocate for healing children with correctible disabilities through CURE International. He's won multiple awards for "Personality of the Year" for his radio show, which airs on more than 200 stations nationwide. His podcast with his friend and radio producer, The Brant and Sherri Oddcast, has been downloaded more than 10 million times. The author of The Truth About Us, Unoffendable, and Blessed Are the Misfits. Hansen has written for CNN.com, the Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Relevant, and numerous other outlets on matters as varied as public policy, culture, sports, Asperger's syndrome, and faith. He and his wife, Carolyn, live in South Florida.

When was the last time someone asked you a question that set you back on your heels? I've always been more interested in questions than answers. So, I keep a notebook of powerful questions that upend me, subvert my assumptions, and stop me in my tracks.  Most of us already have the answer to life's questions; it's just that we're waiting for someone to come along with the key to open the door to answers we already have in our hearts, souls, and minds. The key to that is great questions. Probably more than any other single piece of input in my life, what has driven change in me has been great questions.   And today, I'm giving you a peek into my notebook of outstanding questions that force you to go inside and wrestle with ideas and feelings that can change the direction of your life.  I'll also be posting a question on social media every day for the next week, and I'd love for you to engage with me. Perhaps you'll resonate with a few of mine or share your gems I can add to my notebook. I'm always jotting down new ones as I come across them. For example, I added a new one from a Typology Institute member this past Tuesday.  So, listen to or watch this episode, then share your thoughts with me on Instagram or Facebook.

Trauma impacts not just our mental state, but also our emotional and physical health. So, in a world that teaches us to just “try harder” and keep pretending “we’re fine,” how do we make space to process our stories and truly work through trauma? Today, therapist Aundi Kolber explains what trauma is, identifies how it operates in the body, and walks us through the importance of aligning our minds and bodies to build resilience and self-compassion.   She also offers up a few tips for practicing self-compassion in deep and truly meaningful ways that will begin the process of healing. Aundi Kolber is a Licensed Professional Counselor (MA LPC), writer, and speaker in Castle Rock, Colorado. She specializes in trauma- and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the integration of faith and psychology. As a survivor of trauma, Aundi brings hard-won knowledge around the work of change, the power of redemption, and the beauty of experiencing God with us in our pain.   Looking for more conversations on trauma?  Listen to our past interviews with Chris Cook, Dan Allender, or Amy Downs.  You can also watch them on YouTube: Chris Cook, Dan Allender or Amy Downs.

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?  Well, it can either be a recipe for a really great relationship…or a not-so-great one.  But when a Peacemaker and a Challenger are both healthy, they bring out the best in each other. Today’s guests, Christine and Steve Bailey show us how learning to balance their differences as an Enneagram 9 and an Enneagram 8 has helped their marriage and their business thrive. We explore the dynamics between their relationship and how learning to speak each other’s language and tapping into the other’s strengths fosters a perfect yin-yang relationship. Tune in on Apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player for this amazing conversation.

We have a very special guest for you today…author, editor, and Enneagram One, Jana Riess joins me for an in-depth discussion about The Improvers.  As the very talented editor of both The Road Back to You and The Story of You, Jana is well-versed in the Enneagram and brings a wealth of knowledge and valuable insights to our conversation about lasting personal transformation.  A few topics we explore today are:  the Improvers fixation on anger what messages Ones internalize, and  how Ones can tap into the high side of Seven to find their joy   ABOUT JANA RIESS Since 2008, Jana Riess has been an editor in the publishing industry, primarily working in the areas of religion, history, popular culture, ethics, and biblical studies. From 1999 to 2008, she was the Religion Book Review Editor for Publishers Weekly, and continues to write freelance reviews for PW as well as other publications. She holds degrees in religion from Wellesley College and Princeton Theological Seminary, and a Ph.D. in American religious history from Columbia University. She speaks often to media about issues pertaining to religion in America, and has been interviewed by the Associated Press, Time, Newsweek, People, the Boston Globe, USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, and Newsday, among other print publications, as well as “Voice of America,” the “Today” show, MSNBC, and NPR’s “All Things Considered,” “Tell Me More,” and “Talk of the Nation.” She is the author or co-author of many books, including The Prayer Wheel; Flunking Sainthood; What Would Buffy Do?; Mormonism for Dummies; and The Writer’s Market Guide to Getting Published. Her book The Twible: All the Chapters of the Bible in 140 Characters or Less . . . . Now with 68% More Humor! won first place in the non-fiction category in the Writer’s Digest Annual Self-Published Book Awards. Her book The Next Mormons: The Rising Generation of Latter-day Saints will be released in March 2019 from Oxford University Press. She is a senior columnist for Religion News Service.

This week, attorney, author and Enneagram 7, Bob Goff shares how committing to therapy gave him a common language to better understand and communicate with others. We explore the importance of finding safe people to be authentic with and build deeper, more meaningful relationships. He offers incredible perceptions for Sevens and valuable insights that we can all apply to our lives.  Bob Goff is the author of Undistracted (March 1, 2022) as well as the New York Times bestselling books Love Does, Everybody Always, and Dream Big. He is the Honorary Consul to the Republic of Uganda, an attorney, and the founder of Love Does—a nonprofit human rights organization operating in Uganda, India, Nepal, Iraq, and Somalia. He's a lover of balloons, cake pops, and helping people pursue their big dreams. You can typically find Bob writing and taking calls from his boat, welcoming people to his Southern California retreat center--The Oaks, or at an event speaking. Bob's greatest ambitions in life are to love others, do stuff, and, most importantly, to hold hands with his wife, Sweet Maria Goff, and spend time with their amazing kids. For more, check out BobGoff.com and LoveDoes.org.