Weirdly Helpful (formerly The Best Advice Show)

Al is a professor and created the Single Folks Food Tumblr.https://singlefolksfood.tumblr.com/To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: Every Friday on the show, we do something Food-related. But it's still relationship week so today I'm gonna combine the two with Al.ZAK: You ever eat off the spatula?AL: Oh yeah! LaughterZAK: Awhile ago, Al was going through a break-upAL: And I had been living with that person for 2 years and we did all of our chores together. We did the cooking, the laundry, the everything and so now the basic facts of my life...the subsistence chores behaviors all became twice as long as they had been.ZAK: Right. So, what did you do?AL: What I did is I started playing a game with myself where I would just see how few dishes I could use to make a meal and keep a tally for myself. I mean it's not a revolutionary idea but one thing that I just did is I warmed some tortillas on the stove without anything and cut up an avocado and sliced the avocado in the avocado shell and put the salt in the avocado shell and then just sort of squeezed the avocado out from the skin on to the warmed up tortillas. So I did use a plate for the tortillas but I think, in theory, I could have just squeezed it directly into the tortilla in my hand.ZAK: Right. So no pots and plates and one plate at most. So that's a win.AL: That's a win. Yeah.ZAK: So you're like, game-ifying this process that at first was just depressing and overwhelming?AL: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's trying to infuse a situation that just felt like resentment and exhaustion and disappointment and turn it into something exciting...that I can be excited to do.ZAK: And the objective is, don't use too many dishes and what else?AL: Feed myself. Laughter. At some point, not to make light of, at some point it just became very difficult to feed myself and I think part of it is can I just feel a little but excited about taking care of own body and also make it as easy on myself as possible. So, little clean-up, low clean-up.ZAK: If you are in Al's boat and are having a hard time motivating yourself to cook, you should check-out their Tumblr. It's called SingleFolksFood.Tumblr.Com, One-Dish Easy Prep Meals for Vaguely Conscious People with No One to impress. I Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lindsey Maddin is a legendary mother, daughter, sister and friend from Metro-Detroit. To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: It's relationship advice week and today, my older sister Lindsey and I are going to talk about nit-picking.LINDSEY: With your partner, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend. Just think, if you're really annoyed at something and think you're about to get into a fight...Sometimes people get annoyed at how their partner loads the dishwasher. Maybe just let them load the dishwasher and don't make it a whole thing.ZAK: Right, if they don't do it the same way as you, what does it matter? They're not saving as many cubic inches as you, per plate. Who really cares. That kind of thing?LINDSEY: Exactly. I just think about, is this something that's gonna bother me in 24-hours. And more often than not, the answer is no and it's like, ok, I'm annoyed right now. I'll just take a breath and leave it. ZAK: Because the nit-picky things are the things that don't matter the next day. LINDSEY: Exactly. And it's hard. I'm not perfect at it by any means. But I do find that if I think about it...I'm like, ok, instead of just being like, why aren't you doing it this way, be happy that they're doing it all. There's definitely things that I do that are I know bothersome and they don't always get addressed. So, try to give the benefit of the doubt and just let some of these small things blow over.ZAK: Right.LINDSEY: And then if it is something that still bothers me the next day, I will communicate about it and deal with it then or, even maybe write something down to get my thoughts out and have a more thought-out fight if you want to call it that or discussion. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conor Barnes write the blog, ideopunk. Check out his expansive list of 100 tips for a better life. To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: This week on the show, I'm sharing relationship advice. And today, I've got something for you to think about next time you're on a date and really, next time you're getting to know anyone new. ZAK: My guest is Conor Barnes and his advice is inspired by a book called Models by Mark Manson. Here's how Conor articulates a piece of Manson's dating advice.CONOR: When dating, de-emphasizing your quirks will lead to 90% of people thinking you're kind of alright. Emphasizing your quirks will lead to 10% of people thinking you're fascinating and fun. Those are the people interested in dating you. Aim for them. Often when people date, I think they're kind of, how to say it, they're not playing to win, they're playing not to lose. So, their goal is to be kind of acceptable to all the people they're seeing on dates, in hopes, like, that they won't ruin it. They're like, G-d, if only this person will accept me. I have to hide the parts of myself that don't quite fit or are edgy or are risky. And, Mark Manson argues and I would argue cause it just made so much sense to me is that, that's actually a terrible strategy. The goal in dating isn't to find somebody who finds you acceptable. The goal is to find somebody who's really exciting about you and somebody that you're really excited about. Like, you don't want to be with somebody who thinks, oh, they're alright. You want to be with somebody who's like, whoa, this person is weird like me or weird in a way I've never encountered before. I keep thinking about them.ZAK: Yeah.CONOR: Yeah. I think that's really crucial but the issue is that it's scary to do that.ZAK: What's your area of weirdness? Cause I could tell you mine.CONOR: Oh, please. If you go first, I might be able to think of one.ZAK: I sometimes fear that I'm bringing up pooping or farting too soon in a relationship.CONOR: Right, right! Yeah, that's a perfect example. Yeah, that would turn off a good chunk of people. But if you find the right person with it, you're set.ZAK: That's right!CONOR: What comes to mind right now is an instance where I didn't shy away from it and it led to the date not working out. I was on this date with somebody who, we found each other online and we both were really into music. That was great. We'll go on a date and talk about music. And that particular month, I was in a huge metal phase and the woman asked me, what are you listening to right now. I said, right now I'm really stoked about Pig Destroyer.ZAK: Is that a band?CONOR: Yeah, they're a grind-core band. And I was like, check out this album and this song. The album has this grotesque cover art and the lyrics are just brutal and to me I think it's really well done. But, I realized, wait, this was a risky thing to do on the first date. And then I never heard from her again. And at first I was like, aw shoot, I shouldn't have brought that up. And then right after, I thought, no, if she was into metal too or thought that it was neat, that could have been great.ZAK: Conor's advice on dating is 1 of 100 tips for a better life he recently shared on his blog, ideopunk. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

April is the host of, AprilRose Speaking available wherever you listen to podcasts. https://anchor.fm/april-stephens/episodes/Ep--53-Why-Business-Women-should-Acquire-Negotiating-Skills-elfprnTo offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: A little while ago I started collecting your grandparent's best advice. Or just things they did or said that stuck with you in someway. It started with Sam and his grandma.SAM: And the only piece of advice I ever heard her give was, be polite and do whatever the hell you want. And that is what's on her gravestone in South Florida. ZAK: And then Laura called in to tell me about this thing that her grandma did that she now tried to emulate.LAURA: Just by example. She didn't tell me to do this. But I learned after she had died that she had done something very kind for someone. And she never talked about it. I thought that was such an interesting practice that I try to do that myself.ZAK: If you're holding some memorable advice from one of your grandparents, I would love to hear it. Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. So it was many years ago and April was at her grandma's house. She had just gone through a break-up.APRIL: I was just sitting there. I think Lifetime was on. I must have had this sad look on my face. I wasn't really say too much. I think she just picked up on my vibe and she looked at me and she knew what I was going through. We didn't really talk about it in detail. She looked at me and said I just want you to know that you're not a throwaway girl.ZAK: Did you think before you said that you were a throwaway girl?APRIL: I just didn't understand why somebody who knew that I loved them wouldn't allow me to love them. So, it kind of made me feel like it was something wrong with me...it's something that people probably don't like about me, you know? Maybe that was my thought-process before and so it really flipped my perspective like, hey, this relationship didn't work but I'm not throwaway girl. Let's pick the pieces back up. Let's put some nice clothes on and have some fun with the girls and move on with my life. And that's how I live my life every single day and I teach my children that too.ZAK: I wasn't sure this was true before but I've heard April talk about it and a couple other people I recently talked to...this thing about hearing the right words at the right time from the right person...APRIL: I want you to know that you're not a throwaway girl.ZAK: And in a moment, you're changed...like actually changed.APRIL: And that really set me up not only for moving forward as far as relationships and picking the pieces up and knowing that I deserve love. And just because this relationship didn't work or this man decided he did not want to be with me and I had his children...that didn't mean my life was over. I could still be appreciated for who I am.ZAK: April is the host of AprilRose speaking, a podcast you can find wherever you listen to The Best Advice Show. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eileen MacDougall hosts Book Stew on WCTV.To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: Before I get going, you should know today's episode contains the F-word. Twice. This Sunday is Valentine's Day, and I thought I'd use the holiday, as bogus as it is to some people...to share some relationship advice I've been collecting. If you've been at home, all day, every day with your partner for the past year or so, you might be looking for some strategies to deal with spontaneous rage.EILEEN: If we hit our ultimate point where we're really in conflict and going after each other, we came up with a way to slow that process down. Other people might find beneficial. It's like a stop-gap measure before your rage goes off the charts.ZAK: This is Eileen MacDougall.EILEEN: So, I had been thinking about when our daughter played soccer. Someone did something particularly egregious on the field, the refs had the ability to drop these flags. There was a yellow flag that was a warning and red flag that was ok, you're out of the game. And I thought that was such a great way to stop people from doing stupid things without screaming at them, because obviously, refs can't do that.ZAK: Refs can't, but, of course, we at home do have screaming as an option. But that's what Eileen and her husband were trying to avoid. Bless them.EILEEN: So, I have some index cards. Two purple index cards. That's a tribute to Prince cause I love Prince. And on the first one, in big block letters is WTF in red, red Sharpie...which is obviously What The Fuck. And the second one in big block letters is WTAF in gold Sharpie. Which is What the Actual Fuck. And that is the ultimate...that's the equivalent of a yellow card and a red card. And we keep the cards in our napkin basket and our napkin basket sits on the dining room table.ZAK: So, just to clarify, WTAF is worse than WTF?EILEEN: Oh, absolutely. You throw the actual in there and that's like, forget it. That's the extra emphasis. So, one time it was a stupid pandemic thing and this one time, which really had to do with Chinese food which is so stupid. So, the protocol behind bringing food in is pretty established. Whoever does the ordering goes out and gets it gets to come home and see a set table. So, that was one time that that didn't happen.ZAK: Wait, what didn't happen?EILEEN: He hadn't put glasses of water down at the table. So, it wasn't like there was a completely unset table for Chinese takeout. It was like, he left out one thing and I had just come in from outside. It was cold. I had to schlep to the Chinese place and pick up the food so I think came in and I was, like, a little bit mad about me being the one to go out and then when I looked at the dining room table and there was one element missing, I just lost it. And I was probably on the verge of losing it about everything, anyway. So, I actually threw the WTF card. I picked it up and I dropped it in-front of him at the table. And he looked at me and he picked up the WTAF card and threw it at me. So we had these two cards sitting on the table and we were still in a rage but as soon as the cards came down, we just started laughing cause it was so silly and funny. It forced us to just look at each other and go does this matter? Does this mean anything? Can we get past this? Just the laughing which never would have happened without the cards broke-up the whole disagreement and put us back to maybe merely grumbling at each other and some muted apologies. And that was all we needed. So now we have the cards there and they reside there permanently and I think we've agreed that when we get vaccinated and when things get better, we can either burn the cards or we can just keep them enshrined somewhere in the napkin basket on the dining room table so that they're always there if ever need them. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ray Anthony Barrett (@rayanthonybarrett) is an artist and chef.To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: We made it through another week, friends. You know what that means...Food Friday.RAY: I'm Ray Anthony Barrett. I'm an artist and chef. I'm on the road working on an art project, searching my roots, learning about a lost knowledge of the land and trying to define for myself what it means to be free today. Before I set out on this journey, I came back to something I learned in Boy Scouts which is be prepared. And as I found my way into kitchens the concept of mise en place fits nicely into that notion of be prepared. It's basically, before you start cooking, you have all your ingredients prepared, chopped and ready to cook. Anthony Bourdain talked about mise en place in terms of the 6 p's in his case which is proper planning prevents piss poor performance. In my experience, having a mantra or motto that is positive or an affirmation is helpful. So I modified that to proper planning produces peak performance. I'm camped in this canyon near the Salton Sea right now and being able to trust my gut and survey the situation and prepare myself accordingly...I make plans, I make to-do lists and, you know, it's like, plan for the worst, hope for the best. But, also, what I'm learning in this...in life and also being out here in the elements, in the wilderness is, you have to be prepared to completely throw that away and adapt to the situation.ZAK: If you want to live vicariously though Ray on his roadtrip. You an follow him on Instagram at Ray Anthony Barrett. As always, I'm very hungry for your food advice. Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. If you're enjoying this show, please leave a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts. I'll talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anna North (@annanorthtweets) is a senior reporter at Vox and a novelist. Her newest novel is Outlawed, a Western adventure in an alternate world.To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT:ANNA: I feel like all my best advice is stolen from other people and this advice is something I overheard one of the New York Times political reporters say when we were all covering the 2016 Conventions. So, we're working around the clock, like really stressed, we're very tired and she was like, it's really important when you're on deadline, you know, you're working really hard for a project when you're not able to get a lot of rest of a lot of sleep. You think you want to drink a lot of coffee and keep yourself caffeinated but actually that's bad and it will back-fire. First, you should eat a lot, but most importantly you should drink a ton of water. Like drink water is the most basic advice ever but it actually works. So then I've kind of employed this ever since. Especially if I'm on deadline for something. If there's a really stressful project. The reason it works is that, first of all, you have to get up and pee all the time so if forces you to get up out of your chair and not just be starting at your screen. Second of all, you're hydrated which is good. Third of all, you're just doing something with your hands. Like, I think is why people used to like cigarette breaks, cause you just want to be doing something. So you have water, you're constantly drinking water. It helps you stay focused. This has been hard for me cause I really hate water. I hate drinking water. They tell you drinking 8 glasses...I've always found that so annoying. But, I'll drink water if I have to, like if I'm having dinner or something. But I don't like it. There are people that just enjoy having a nice glass of water and I'm not one of those people. But it really helps when you're on deadline.My name's Anna North. I'm a senior reporter at Vox and I'm also the author of three novels, the most recent Outlawed, which is out now with Bloomsbury.ZAK: Drink water. So simple. So important. So obvious but still so difficult for some of us. Thank you, Anna North. What are you doing to make it through? Give me a call at 844-935-BEST. That's 844-935-BEST. If there's someone who you think should hydrate more but you don't know how to tell them, send them this episode. Thanks. Talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Josh Ruben is an award-winning actor, writer, and director whose feature film SCARE ME - which he wrote, produced, directed & starred alongside Aya Cash and Chris Redd - debuted at the 2020 Sundance Film Festival.--You Made it Weird #210 with Josh Ruben - https://archive.nerdist.com/you-made-it-weird-210-josh-ruben/--To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BEST--TRANSCRIPT: ZAK: When I need to laugh until it hurts. Like, keep over laugh, my go to source is this one episode of a podcast I like called, You Made it Weird.JOSH RUBEN ON YOU MADE IT WEIRD: Well, the thing about life is one day you'll be dead. I don't know why it's an elephant at the end of everything I say...ZAK: The guy doing the Robin Williams impression is Josh Ruben. And the guy laughing so much is the host of the show, Pete Holmes.JOSH RUBEN ON YOU MADE IT WEIRD: Pete, come downstairs, it's bit time! That was Mrs. Doubtfire...ZAK: You can even hear the engineer in the studio laughing. *Laughs.*ZAK: This is me listening at home.*Laughs.*ZAK: The interview is well over 90-minutes and a huge portion is just like this, Josh riffing on a bunch of impressions.JOSH RUBEN ON YOU MADE IT WEIRD: My name is Leonard Lowe.PETE HOLMES ON YOUR MADE IT WEIRD: Is that the character from Awakenings? How did you pull that?ZAK: We're gonna get to the advice, but first this is my favorite of Josh's impressions. JOSH RUBEN ON YOU MADE IT WEIRD: Yeah, buddy. I'm pretty into photography, actually as an actor...ZAK: Josh, the master impressionist, was kind enough to meet me on Zoom and give me some advice about how to do a good impression. JOSH: The more specific the better. Broad ones stink. Look for that. The weird tongue, lip-smack, shifting of the weight, you know?ZAK: And what do you think makes Jeff Bridges such a fun one to do?JOSH: I think it's the musicality of his voice. Friendly, dopey golden retriever kind of quality about him. And from there, the fact that you can just say anything. Yeah, I hit another man with my car...man. It's just fun to do. Who doesn't love Jeff?ZAK: Yeah, he's such a lovable guy. Buddy. Buddy.JOSH: There ya go. Yeah. Buddy! If you catapult your underbite, you know, your lower mandible on the D, I think that's how to do it. Give it a try.ZAK: Buddy. Buddy!JOSH: Yeah. Buddy! It's almost like you're barfing out the D.ZAK: Buddy!JOSH: Yeah, there ya go. Yeah. ZAK: He's just being nice. I've got a lot of work to do. Josh Ruben is an amazing impressionist. He's also the writer, director and star of the new terrifying and funny movie, Scare Me, is available on demand. And you might know Jeff Bridges was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. I'm sending lots of love his way today. Buddy. Buddy. I love you, buddy. Buddy. Buddy. As always, I want to hear your advice. Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lauren Passell is founder of Tink Media and co-founder of Lasso Audio, the first management company and agency for podcasters. She is also the curator of Podcast The Newsletter. SUBSCRIBE to Podcast, The Newsletter - https://podcastthenewsletter.substack.com/--To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BEST--TRANSCRIPT: ZAK: When I set out to make this show, I couldn't have predicted the predominance of shower advice. But here I am with the 4th episode devoted to shower or bath advice. It started with Drew in episode 5 and how he likes to start his days with an orange in the shower.DREW: It's just such a pure, little moment of absolute sensual wonder and joy.ZAK: Then there was Ken in episode 18.KEN: I've discovered a new kind of coffee in the middle of the day and it's something that I'm calling the lunch-hour shoer.ZAK: And Jules in episode 103.JULES: My advice is to wash your feet because they often get forgotten. ZAK: And now Lauren in episode 203.LAUREN: Ok, this thing that I do every single day since I was 5 years-old and I didn't tell anyone about it till I was 21. It was a secret I had with myself. I call it Shower Belly. And every single morning...it has to be bar soap. You get bar soap and you lather it on your stomach for a long time until there's a layer of soap. It has to be a true layer and then I draw on it. And I call it my Shower Belly Creations and it makes me really happy and it's a little ritual I have with myself.ZAK: What did you draw today?LAUREN: Pizza. When I can't think of anything to draw I usually draw pizza.ZAK: Like, one slice?LAUREN: Yeah, like a triangle. And then you can make toppings. Or for some reason a phone or Mary Poppins, rainbows, stars. Always up for new ideas. ZAK: Like, what does it do for you? LAUREN: I think part of it is that I've been doing it for so long. Maybe people can't enjoy it if they haven't been doing it their entire lives. But it's like a little therapeutic. It feels like I'm really, really cleaning myself. I'm taking care of myself. It's like the one time in the day where I'm not listening to a podcast or talking. People say they have shower thoughts. It's like a good time to just think about yourself and the drawing though, I think it just reminds me...it's something playful. It makes me laugh. I do it everyday and it always makes me laugh! Cause it seems like I'm a grown-up, I should have stopped doing this by now. It's so stupid and I love stupid things.ZAK: Me too. LAUREN: I think that's why I don't stop doing it.ZAK: Yeah, and I don't want to beat it to death but something about...it's like you are...it's a daily ritual that you've invented to connect yourself to your child-self. Which is like a metaphor, like always remember to have a child's curiosity, but you're physicalizing and so I think that makes life better for, yeah?LAUREN: Yeah. And, you know, I have really good memories of my entire childhood. It's like a safe place I'm going to or something. I didn't need to be on Lexapro when I was five years-old when I started doing Shower Belly. It's this safe spot that I can go to at the beginning of my day so I can start my day being happy and laughing in the shower. ZAK: Lauren Passell is the curator of Podcast, The Newsletter. If you are looking for a ton of new podcast recommendations every week, Lauren's newsletter is the place. She says she listens to about 5 hours a day of podcasts. Amazing. She also is the founder of Tink Media. Thanks Lauren. If you have some shower related advice for me I think we should keep this going. Please let me know what it is at 844-935-BEST. And if you're enjoying this show, please consider leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Stay clean, friends. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cheri Passell runs I Love Italian Movies.com and runs Barbie_Snack on Instagram.--Always Beginning with Norene Cashen - https://bestadvice.show/episodes/2020105_always-beginning-with-norene-cashen/--To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: My guest today, Cheri Passell, has some advice particularly for woman over 40. But I think it applies to all of us.CHERI: This sounds so trite, but my advice is to never stop dreaming and to dream big. And it's not as trite as it sounds because something happens to woman, woman over 40. It happens to men to but not as much as it does for woman. Woman become pretty invisible. All the sudden you notice when you come into the room, nobody really notices you. I was at a party, my husband's company party that I didn't really want to be at anyway and I thought, oh, nobody really wants to talk to me. I mean people were doing it but you know, like, I wasn't the interesting person to talk to in the room, you know? And I kept thinking, hey, I have lots of really interesting things to talk about! I could see the look in their face. They were thinking, I wish I was over here talking to this person instead. They were kind of looking for an escape route. You know when somebody looks out of the corner of your eye and you think, oh, you're not paying attention to me. You're looking over there at that.ZAK: Yeah, we all know that look. What did that feel like?CHERI: I think for a lot of woman it's pretty devastating. But, it didn't destroy but it made me rethink my life. Lets put it that way.ZAK: In what way?CHERI: My desire to amuse myself has always been greater than my need to please people. So, I just decided to start looking for ways to amuse myself. I think a lot of woman my age thing, it's too late. Particularly my age cause I'm now 64. But even when I was in my 40s I thought, I don't know if I want to use the word re-invent, but it's find out what was still there for me. It's not over yet. I think woman think oh, I should have done this, I should have done that. Well, do it. And I always thought, oh, I should have studied languages in college. And I probably should have but what's stopping me now. So, when I was about 45, I started taking Italian lessons and I started watching Italian movies to improve my Italian and that's when I just became this expert-ish person on Italian Cinema cause I was so into it.ZAK: Cheri became such an enthusiast that she started a blog, ILoveItalianMovies.com.CHERI: And I never thought it would be anything. I think some people are afraid to start things cause they think, I won't be any good. That's not the point. I just wanted to do something that I thought would be fun. But eventually I developed a little audience and now I go to the Venice Film Festival with press credentials every year. I mean, it turned into something. I'm not bragging, honestly.ZAK: I know.CHERI: Everybody should do this. I'm not special. If you find a passion, do it! Just go for it.ZAK: I love it and I love so much this thing that you articulated which I think is really a North Star for, for a good life is, amuse yourself and don't try to please others. That's so big and so hard for so many of us.CHERI: Yeah.ZAK: When Cheri isn't writing about Italian Films. She's running her Instagram account Barbie_Snack which really could only exist for her amusement. But it looks like people really like it. It's so weird and delightful.CHERI: I call myself a Barbie artist.ZAK: Cheri's advice today pairs particularly well with the episode we did called Always Beginning with Norene Cashen. I linked to that in our show notes. If you have some advice for me, give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. And if you can think of someone in your life who might benefit from this episode, consider sending them this episode. Thanks so much. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices