The Best Advice Show

Abra Berens (@abraberens) is a chef, former farmer, and writer. Her book is Ruffage: A Practical Guide to VegetablesTo offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT:ABRA: My name is Abra Berens and I am a chef and cookbook author based in Three Oaks, Michigan.ZAK: Abra was last on the show to talk about holiday cooking. She's here today for another edition of Food Friday to advice us on how to save time, save money and not waste people's work. ABRA: Food waste is something I feel very passionately about because I have spent time farming and also in restaurant kitchens where margins are notoriously very slim. But, it's more the farming side which is that I think it is, and I don't use this word lightly, but I think it's a sin to waste food unnecessarily because you're wasting someone's work and you're wasting a ton of resources. You know, the fertility that is pulled from the soil into those vegetable or into those animals just to get thrown away is, is really a shame and so my biggest advice for how to not waste food is don't go to the store. You have something in your house that you can eat and so if you just, like, don't know what's in your kitchen or what's in your pantry just don't go to the store and go home and look around and I'm sure you can make something. And I think that that is the best way to not have food waste. Just don't go to the store. And then you'll have something and then you won't waste it cause it's not sitting in the back of your fridge. ZAK: That's great. I feel like I've had barley that I've been thinking about using for quite some time. What's your favorite thing to do with barley?ABRA: Uh, my favorite thing to do with barley is like a barley risotto where you just cook it, adding the liquid a little bit at a time and then it gets really creamy and then you just put a big, weird vegetable salad on top and if you're a meat-eater or a fish-eater that would go great with it but also you don't really need it. And the other thing about grains is that all of them have some form of protein. I think in this country we're really obsessed with the amount of protein we eat and each one has some form of protein and so they really often are complete meals and they're usually very filling. ZAK: I'm gonna make that barley risotto. Sounds delicious. Thank you Abra Berens. Abra has a book out. It's called Ruffage: A Practical Guide to Vegetables. If you have some Food Friday advice for me, as always I would love to hear it. Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. And if this show is doing something good for you, I would love it if you shared it with your family and friends or wrote me a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to pods. Thank you so much. Talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Will Moore (@mooremomentum) is an entrepreneur, speaker, life coach, and happiness expert.To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT:ZAK: It might surprise you, considering I make this show, but I'm kinda cynical about self-help literature. One of the more well-known titles in that genre has got to be Dale Carnegie's, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I admit it, I've actually never read it, but just the title has always rubbed me the wrong way. But not Will Moore. It's one of his favorite books.WILL: So, How to Win Friends and Influence people, if I could sum that book up one sentence, it's make other people feel important.ZAK: And how do you do that?WILL: If you look at every interaction as an opportunity to potentially build a friendship, an alliance, you never know what can come out of something. And looking at things that way versus being on your phone, looking down when you're walking past people in the office or, you know, focusing on yourself when you're talking to people and not asking questions and not making eye contact, not smiling, not making the other person feel important. You know, going back to Dale Carnegie, knowing little details like, ok, you have a daughter that's three. You're about to have another kid, next time I talk to you, hey, did you have that kid? How's it going? Little things like that, then that other person goes, oh wow, I like this person and they want to do the same and before you know it you've developed a friendship, an alliance, and you're literally helping each other build goals and its become an opportunity with that person.ZAK: My cynical nature thinks, you know, especially with the book like, How to Win Friends and Influence people, it's like, you're doing these things, you're listening to people, you're taking interest in them not because you genuinely care but because you have this ulterior motive of gaining influence so how you establish a phony filter for yourself?WILL: That's a really question. So, I actually believe in fake it till you make it. At first, there's gonna be, like this doesn't feel natural. This doesn't feel right. Because you've been locked in your own brain and you've been this victim for so long and to all of a sudden start asking people questions and be interested, you're not really interested at first, right? So let me get that clear. You're forcing yourself to be, but here's what's gonna happen and this is exactly what happened with me. Meanwhile, when I first started doing it in the back of my mind I'm thinking, ok, I'm doing what I'm supposed to. I'm asking them questions and stuff. But then something magical starts to happen. It actually starts to happen and then you're asking them questions, you see the smile on their face. You see their reaction. They start asking you questions and then you genuinely become more interested in these people and it kind of builds its own momentum and then it's a relationship and it's a friendship and when we have these friendships we care about our friends, right?My name is William Moore. Just somebody who...I'm a momentum builder. I'm helping people to build momentum via habits to help ensure that they become the best version of themselves which will, I hope, in turn help the world become the best version of itself.ZAK: You can find Will on Instagram at MooreMomentum. You can also find us at BestAdviceShow. Thanks so much for listening and as always I would love to hear from you. Give me call on the hotline and tell me your advice. 844-935-BEST. And if you are enjoying my show, please leave a rating and/or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks. Bye/ Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Dr. Celeste Holbrook (@drcelesteholbrook) is a sexologist, speaker and author based in Texas. You can get on her calendar for a complimentary 30 minute discovery call at her website.To offer your own sex and relationship advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BEST!TRANSCRIPT:CELESTE: My name is Dr. Celeste Holbrook and I am a sexologist. The question I get asked the most is how much sex should we be having and I never give a number. Because the amount of sex you should be having is the amount of sex that you and your partner can agree on is healthy and pleasurable for the both of you. And so for some clients that's ABC sex, like anniversary, birthday, Christmas and for other clients it's a lot more than that. So, whatever works for the two of you is what works.ZAK: Yeah, how do you suggest couples where...couples deal with the reality where one of them wants to have sex a lot more than they other.CELESTE: So, sex is always a negotiation. We have to remember that there are no two people on earth who want to have sex at the same time, in the same way with the same amount of enthusiasm. That's pretty rare. And so it ok that one of you wants to have sex more than the other one. It's about communicating and figuring out what frequency works for both of us. And it is a negotiation. It's going to have to be. But the more that you can focus more on making the sex quality, the less quantity matters as much. It still matters. But it doesn't matter as much when you work on having really good quality sex.ZAK: And what does that take?CELESTE: Communication. Intentionally. Anticipation. And negotiation. Again, it's always negotiation of what feels good to you? Let's do that for awhile. What feels good to you? Let's do this for awhile. And then this feels good for both of us. You know?ZAK: Valentine's Day is coming up. And whether or not you celebrate that holiday. Whether you're with someone or you're not...I'm putting together a week's worth of advice leading up to that day which is February, 14th. Very excited about that. I'm also excited that I got a lot more advice from Dr. Celeste Holbrook so you'll be hearing a lot more from her. Also, I want to hear your sex and relationship advice...advice about being single...being together. Give me a call on the hotline 844-935-BEST. Talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Kevin Smokler is Co-Director of the documentary film, Vinyl Nation and author of three books about pop culture, including most recently Brat Pack America: A Love Letter to ’80s Teen Movies. His essays and cultural criticism have appeared in the LA Times, Salon, Fast Company, BuzzFeed, Vulture, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Decider and on National Public Radio.To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT:ZAK: For way too long, like a couple years, my wife and I have been planning to sit down and make a household budget. I don't think it's gonna be that hard but I've psyched myself out of it and at this point I don't really know what we're waiting for. So, if you're like me or today's guest, you might get overwhelmed by tasks that aren't that hard so hopefully this advice is gonna help you out.KEVIN: My advice is about energy. How to spend it and how not to waste it. I am, for the most part, terrible at spending energy wisely. I have a tendency to be easily overwhelmed by things that shouldn't easily overwhelm anybody.ZAK: Like what?KEVIN: Like, I find paying bills really overwhelming. Like, even bills that are not unreasonably high or onerous to pay. I find fixing things really onerous. Even if it's like something I've fixed a thousand times like a burnt out lightbulb. It doesn't make any sense. Not from the outside at least. And what I have learned in making a movie which is a kind of creative and professional pursuit I had never done before is that there are different kinds of energies for different kinds of tasks. Energy meets the task the same way like a key meets a lock. And as such, you can change the amount of energy you spend on something based on what it is and finding that match means that you're not wasting energy or unaware of how to spend it to get that thing done. I find most of the anxiety around that comes from that mismatch of believing something is going to require a lot of energy when it's not. I'm only at the point where I've realized this is the thing I have to do. I'm not at the point of doing it well yet.ZAK: Yeah, well that's my favorite kind of advice on this show. It could be called, like, This Is Something I'm Working on rather than The Best Advice Show. There's more humility to it. And so how do you then in the moment or at the beginning of the day recalibrate and reorient the energy levels with which you're gonna have to distribute to various tasks?KEVIN: On a really successful today and it's typically when I get up early enough to convince myself I have time, I'll write out everything I have to do that day and then when I get to it, I'll write out the pieces that have to be done and if I don't do that which, that happens pretty rarely...If I don't do that what I'll do is when I approach something that seems insurmountable, I'll say to myself, have I done this before? Have I done a version of successfully before? Well, ok, then there's probably a fossil record of doing it successfully before somewhere. Either it's an email I've written before or it's a task I've performed before and then you just take 30-seconds and say, ok, well, I did this once. It worked. How did I do it? And then repeat and adjust...maybe you have a to adjust a few things here or there so the amount of new energy you have to spend on that thing is not that big. It's really mostly a version of something you've done before.I'm Kevin Smoker. I'm the Co-director of a new documentary called, Vnyl Nation. Which is a documentary exploration of the come back of vinyl records available at VinylNationFilm.com. In my day job I write books about pop culture.ZAK: Ok, I want you hold me accountable. This week, we're gonna do the budget and it's not gonna be overwhelming. We can handle. Thank you Kevin Smokler for helping me realize that. You've been listening The Best Advice Show and I want your advice. Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. Thank you so much, I'll talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Amy Shira Teitel is a space flight historian, author, YouTuber, public speaker and occasional TV personality. Her book is Fighting For Space. To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT:ZAK: Today's advice comes in the form of the life-story of a woman born in 1905 in the Florida panhandle. Bessie Pitman grew up poor. She became a teenage mom. And she lost her son in a house fire when he was just 5 years old. AMY: And didn't get along with the rest of her family. And when she was 23, she up and moved to New York City. She was a beautician by training at this point, took on a new name and just completely reinvented herself. ZAK: Bessie Pittman became Jackie Cochran. Her goal early on was to create her own line of cosmetics and sell it around the country. She learned she could cover a lot more ground as a traveling saleswoman if she learned to fly. She earned her pilot's license in 3 short weeks. She fell in love with flying and abandoned her cosmetics career for a life in the air. AMY: As a pilot she wanted to be the best and the fastest and her goal was the Bendix Race which was the preeminent race in the country at the time and she did it in 1938. So then what was next? Well she ended up leading the Woman's Air-force Service Pilots or the WASPS in the Second World War, leading the first all-female flying squadron and after the war learned to fly a jet, became the first woman to really train as a test pilot and and the first woman to break the sound barrier in 1953. ZAK: Cochran continued to create new goals for herself and push herself toward them.AMY: The kind of takeaway there is if you hit a goal, don't get complacent and stay on that plateau, just you know, oh I did it! So what's the next step and continually pushing...she kept pushing herself to the next one. That's just a level of inspiration, I think, you can apply to anything is, if you hit a goal, find the next goal.I 'm Amy Shira Teitel. I am a space flight historian, author, YouTuber, public speaker and occasional TV personality.ZAK: Amy's book is called Fighting For Space. It chronicles Jackie Cochran'e story as well as that of Jerrie Cobb. It's available wherever you get books. You can find a picture of Jackie Cochran on The Best Advice Show Instagram page. And if you know some advice that comes out of someone's adversity that you've read about or maybe your own, I would love to hear about it. Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Savitha Viswanathan is a designer, illustrator and founder of Mothertongue Foods.Mothertongue Foods - https://www.savithadesign.com/greatergoodmtRegional Mirepoix- https://www.thekitchn.com/make-it-your-way-with-regional-mirapoix-178908To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPTSZAK: Today on Food Friday, you're gonna become a better cook.SAVITHA: Hi Zak. My name is Savitha Viswanathan and my Food Friday good advice is how to make Indian mirepoix. For people who like to cook Indian food or would like to try cooking Indian food, it's a great shortcut and before I start cooking any Indian dish, I make batch. Mirepoix term for chopped celery, carrots and onions. And it's used as a base in a lot of dishes. And my Indian style mirepoix has four ingredients, onions, garlic, ginger and green chile. I use these ingredients in just about any dish I cook from vegetable curries to meat dishes to spiced-lentils. To make a batch I chop one onion, four cloves of garlic, two inches of green chili and two inches of fresh ginger. You can make double and triple batches and keep them in the fridge and use as needed. It's really helpful when you're trying to cut back on time but don't want to cut back on flavor.ZAK: Savitha is a designer and illustrator and founder of the project, Mothertounge Foods. I put a link to her site in our show notes. There's also a picture on our Instagram of Savitha and her 13 year old son, Naveen. He helped her comes up with her advice on today's show. Thank you, Naveen! Lastly, I put another link in our show notes from the website, The Kitchn about regional mirepoix from around the world. If you're enjoying a show leave a rating or review on Apple Podcasts. I really appreciate it. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Holly Wren Spaulding (hollywrens) is a writer, educator, interdisciplinary artist and author of ‘Familiars’ and other books and the founder of Poetry Forge.To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: Whether you have five minutes or five hours, today's advice is to create your own autonomous zone.HOLLY: In other words, to have free spaces in your life free of other people, free of the profit motive, you know the pressure to be earning a living during that time. Free of interruption. Free of social media. Free of duties and obligations that impinge on, for one thing, the imagination. And the way in which this is practiced in my life most diligently is in the morning hours from 7-10 am, I treat as sacrosanct. There's no appointments, no e-mail, no social media, no interaction family members. That's my writing time. ZAK: Do you think for people that don't have a creative practice, there's value in creating these autonomous zones?HOLLY: Absolutely. And that's why I think it is, at its core to me it's about a couple of different things. It is about practicing being free. Like, who am I and what do I care about when I'm not sort of being...sort of bounced from obligation to obligation or duty to duty. My life is not free of those things. Yours isn't. They exist. I think of this time as helping me be more well-resourced for when I do have to go engage with the drudgery or make a living or whatever it is. But this idea that we can get to know ourselves in that free space...have a secret life...like a life that doesn't belong to anyone else that we don't easily give up. And that's a big deal I think. And then also to find out, like, there's something arising in me, maybe, that is as interesting or compelling as what's happening in the outside world. So, like, what is putting pressure on your imagination? What is stealing your time? What is costing you greatly in terms of your, you know, the bandwidth you have to make whatever you want to make? It is frequently the allure of what's happening in the outside world. ZAK: Holly Wren Spaulding is a poet and writer.HOLLY: And I'm the Director of Poetry Forge where I work with writers and artists in a teaching capacity. ZAK: How are fortifying yourself? Please let me know by calling the advice hotline at 844-935-BEST and if you can think of someone in your life who might be enlivened by this idea of creating their autonomous zone, maybe you can send this episode to them. You can do that at BestAdvice.Show or just sending them to the show wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks. Talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

David Plotz is the CEO of City Cast and co-host of the Slate Political Gabfest Podcast. To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: The art of saying no. It's something we've talked about on this show before, but not like this. DAVID: There's a whole category of invitation that one gets, or one used to get, used to get back in the days when there was invitations and things to do. But there will be invitations and things to do in the future. And there were invitations to do something so far off in the future that it was like, you couldn't even imagine it. You couldn't even conceive that that future would ever come and so you'd get an invitation, like, go to this party or have dinner with this person or appear on this panel. And it's months and months out and your natural assumption is, oh, it's so far away...yeah, that's fine, I'll plan for it, it will be great. I've got a great piece of advice which is, whenever you get an invitation for something that's more than 48-hours away, you ask yourself, would I do it tomorrow. Not would I do it in a hypothetical tomorrow. Look at your actual schedule for tomorrow and be like, if I realized I had to do this tomorrow, would I want to do it and if you want to do it, if you imagine, like, oh yeah, I would do it because tomorrow I have to drop the kids off at football practice and then I have a little space...yeah, it would be fun. That would be fun. Then you can accept it but if you're like, you know, actually, I don't relish the prospect of doing this tomorrow then don't accept it. ZAK: And have you experienced any subsequent FOMO from saying no?DAVID: I cannot think of a thing about which I've experienced FOMO. I literally cannot think of anything like that. I'm trying to imagine if there's anything like that. No. No. There was a trip to...maybe there was some trip somewhere which I once said no to and then I had slight, tiny tinge of regret but I can't even remember what it is so it can't have been that much regret. No. I'm David Plotz and I'm the CEO of City Cast which is gonna be a network of daily, local podcasts in cities around the country. And I'm the also the co-host of the Slate Political Gabfest Podcast. ZAK: Full disclosure, City Cast is funded by Graham Holdings. They are the parent company of the company I work for, Graham Media. Just so you know. Thanks for listening today to The Best Advice Show. I want to hear your advice. What is it? Give me a call on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. I hope that the start of your year is going ok and that this show is helping in some small way. Bye. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Jordan Brown is an educator and creator living in Sacramento, California.He makes music here - https://soundcloud.com/doinsomethin--Stupid Taxing with Jordan Brown (a different Jordan Brown) - https://bestadvice.show/episodes/2020528_stupid-taxing-with-jb/TRANSCRIPT: JORDAN: What's up, Zak. My name is Jordan Brown. I'm an educator, traveler, creator. I live in Sacramento, California. My advice is, when listened to music always check the liner notes. Always read the liner notes. When you're listening to records or CDs, look on the back of them and see who played on the songs, right? There can be producers, musicians, engineers and even people in the studio at the time that have added to this album. Some liner notes go into detail about how the album was made and who was involved, right? And if you're listening to new, digital music. Spotify or Tidal or Apple or something like that, you can usually click around the song to find the credits of that song and you can see who the performer, the producer, or maybe the original writer or engineer were on that track. And then the best thing about this part is that gives you a whole new knowledge base of musicians to choose from. You know, I love to find the bass player on one album and then realize, like, that bass player has another album of their own or that keyboard player is part of a group. It's just dope, right? Um, and this advice has helped me become a better researcher. As a kid I would dig for records and look for different artists, and get curious about who was creating that album. I think that practice of digging in the crates, it helped me become a seeker of knowledge. And knowing that there's always something out there. There's always someone creating something or something like that. I don't know. It just kind of brought me to this wanting to learn more and I think that's why I love hip-hop. Cause it's always bringing knowledge into action. You think of the phrase, hip-hop. Hip is being knowledgeable and hop is using that action. So, check out the liner notes next time you listen to music. ZAK: Why did I give all my CDs away? Jordan Brown also makes his own music. I put a link to his Soundcloud page in our show notes. He is the second Jordan Brown to contribute to The Best Advice Show. The other Jordan Brown gave some advice early in the show's run, it's called Stupid Taxing. I also put a link to that in our show notes. You've been listening to The Best Advice Show. And I would love for you to call the hotline like Jordan Brown did. The number is 844-935-BEST. What's your advice? Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow

Marlee Grace is a dancer, writer, quilter, community radio show host and author of Getting To Center. To offer your own advice, call Zak @ 844-935-BESTTRANSCRIPT: ZAK: Happy New Year, friend. Welcome back to The Best Advice Show. I know January is a time when a lot of us are making resolutions and trying to...be better. But it's not a sprint. It's a marathon. So, what I'm trying to say is don't put too much pressure on yourself to get it all in this month during resolution rush-hour. I wanted to start the year off with some advice which I think is pretty universally relevant. MARLEE: My name is Marlee Grace and I'm a dancer and a writer and community radio show host. ZAK: The advice Marlee is gonna share today is something that lately, she's been keeping directly in-front of her on a sticky note. MARLEE: I'll show it to you. It's written on my wall. I have this phrase I've been using that's borrowed from a 12-step program which is, Put Down the Think. I really, kind of, get physical around it too. I'll kind of put my hand to my head and extract with my fingers to be, like, everything is ok today. Moving on. ZAK: Just to clarify. Marlee will take her fingers to her forehead and gently lift upwards, stroking her bangs.MARLEE: It's the dancer in me. I have to be physical. It's my only understanding of...it's my only way to integrate. I have to move it from my brain to my heart-space. ZAK: So when you're trying to extract the thoughts, what are you trying to take out?MARLEE: When something becomes obsessive. Like, I like thinking. I like a lot of my thoughts. But when it starts to get beyond today. It's like a future tripping of well what's gonna happen if this happens? What's gonna happen if we ever have to move? What's gonna happen if we break up? What's gonna happen if our neighbor breaks up? Like, just when it starts to get...it's like when you're scrolling and all of a sudden you're looking at Kim Kardashian's cousin's Instagram and you're like, how did I get here? Like, the trail is so, so long so it's like that's what I'm trying to put down and just like a little bit of Be Here Now, if you will.ZAK: Sure. And if you could describe your mental state the moment after extraction.MARLEE: Hmmmm. You know, I think it goes between fear and relief. I think that if I think all the possible endings, I will be less effected when one of them happens. So, I think I'm protecting myself by going through all worst cases scenarios. I'm like, well if I know all worst case scenarios, when they inevitably happen i'll be better off. And so sometimes putting down those thoughts is scary because I have to actually commit to being in the unknown. I have to commit to not knowing. And then once I'm past that it's like, what a gift. It's the best feeling in the world to have no idea what's gonna happen today. ZAK: Put down the think. I know it's so much easier said than done by I think that physicalizing it the way Marlee does, with her hand to her forehead kind of extracting outward...I think that's a very helpful way to think about it. Marlee's latest book is called, Getting to Center. I've linked to it in our show notes. If you know of someone in your life who might benefit from today's advice, please consider sending them this episode. And as always you can call me and give me your advice. I'm really anxious to hear it. Not anxious, excited. 844-935-BEST. That's 844-935-BEST. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you soon. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. ---Help Zak continue making this show by becoming a Best Advice Show Patron @ https://www.patreon.com/bestadviceshow---Fill out the TBAS listener survey to help Zak get to know you better.https://forms.gle/f1HxJ45Df4V3m2Dg9---Call Zak on the advice show hotline @ 844-935-BEST or email him a voice-memo at ZAK@bestADVICE.show---Share this episode on IG @BestAdviceShow