Stillness in the Storms

So you want inner peace? However, you are still frustrated and others seem to have a different idea.Expectations are everywhere, whether they are of ourselves or somebody else it is not something that we can easily get rid of.In this episode we talk about managing those expectations so they don't get out of hand and you can still have inner peace.Different types of expectations. Should we drop expectations? What are healthy expectations? Moving beyond unhealthy expectations. TranscriptIntro: Alexander Pope, one of the greatest English poets of the 18th century said, "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.: I love that. That's one of my favorite sayings. I'm Steven Webb and this is Stillness In The Storms Podcast.On today's show, I'm going to share how to stop expectations from ruining your inner peace. We all have these expectations of what life is going to be like, how people should show up, all these stories in our heads of all different types of how life should be. I guess that's the overarching thing of expectations. So on this podcast, we're gonna see why do expectations block your happiness? Should we drop expectations entirely? Why healthy expectations? So I want to go back to that first quote, 'Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed', Alexander Pope, I guess that's what it comes down to, here on the spiritual journey alone and that is don't expect anything. Should we be really not expect anything from a partner or a family member? Is it really the way the world's gonna work nowadays? Well, we'll explore about that a little later, but I want to share one other quote as well, because it goes two ways. Bruce Less says, "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.'I love that quote also because that does the other side of it as well. let's look at why expectations are, where do we have them in life? Well, as we're going through school and we think about careers, think about work, what we're going to do in life, we have expectations of us. Where our lives go and we have expectations of life and career. I can remember at school and whenever I bumped into any family members or people I hadn't seen for a while, it was like, "What do you want to be when you're older?""What are you gonna do?:" "How are your exams going?"Expectations of yourselfAnd it was all this pressure of, I almost felt like everybody expected something of me, which, in return, made me expect something of myself. Well, if I don't fulfill these things, I'm going to be a failure. And then, of course, when everybody thinks we're going to be a failure, that's what they expect to happen, we kind of create that. Until I was 18 and I ended up breaking my neck and ended up paralyzed, I expected my life to go a certain way. And then ever since then, whenever anybody hears about me breaking my neck, when I was at that age, they tend to look at the alternative or what might have happened. It's almost like they expected a different life that would have been better or would have been like they say, "Well, you would have been really successful. You'd have had a family. You'd have been, done this, that and the other."And I'm like, "Well, how do you know? I could have been a real bum. I could have added up in a serious car accident and a week later, not even survived the following weeks." The thing is, we don't know about what are the alternatives, but we have this image in our heads and the story in our heads of how things should be. I've got a daughter and for many years, I had a running narration in my head of how a daughter should be and what she should do and how she should show up and she ha

Why are our foundations so important when getting through times of trouble? In this episode I talk about the importance of building a decent foundation without such you will be disturbed often.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.ukSteven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.ukFinding Your Calm: Stillness in the Storms of LifeEver feel like you're caught in a whirlwind? Life throws curveballs, triggers us in unexpected ways, and sometimes, it feels like we're just reacting, not responding. It is easy to end up regretting our actions later. But what if there was a way to navigate the storms with a sense of inner peace, a calmness that no one could take away?That's the heart of my new podcast, "Stillness in the Storms," and something I'm incredibly passionate about sharing. This isn't about pretending everything's rosy when it's not. It's about developing a foundation of stillness within yourself, so you can meet life's challenges with grace, understanding, and compassion.Think about those old Western films. The saloon is in chaos, a brawl erupting, but there's always that one character, quietly sitting at the bar, seemingly unaffected. They're not disconnected; they're deeply aware. They see everything, but they choose not to react. They respond, thoughtfully and purposefully, when the moment truly calls for it. That's the kind of stillness we're aiming for.What Does Stillness Even Mean?It's not about being passive or detached. Quite the opposite! It's about being fully present and connected, but from a place of inner stability. It's about recognising our triggers – those things that set us off, those buttons that certain people seem to love to press – and choosing to respond, not react.A reaction is subconscious. Something happens, and our brain flips through its "what did I do last time?" file and repeats the pattern. It might have kept you alive in the past, but it might not be serving you now.The human side of our brain, the front part, is where compassion, empathy, and wisdom reside. Stillness is about accessing that part of ourselves more often, shifting from the reactive, reptilian brain to the thoughtful, human one.How Can You Cultivate This Stillness?This is where the journey gets really interesting! The podcast is designed to explore this very question. I’ll be chatting with people who have cultivated this stillness in their own lives – Zen masters, spiritual teachers, and everyday folks who've found ways to navigate their inner and outer storms. We'll delve into practical tools, techniques, and tips that you can apply today.One core principle is understanding that life will throw things at you. "Stuff" happens, as the saying goes. We can't stop the storms, but we can learn to weather them differently. We can prepare ourselves, build resilience, and choose to respond from a place of clarity rather than blind reaction.Think of it like the fire brigade. They have two jobs: putting out fires and preventing them. We need to do both in our lives. Be ready to respond to the inevitable challenges, but also proactively work on reducing their impact.Why This Matters: It's Not Just About YouLiving with a foundation of stillness isn't just about personal peace (though that's a huge benefit!). It's about bringing that peace out into the world. It's about responding to difficult situations and difficult people with more understanding and less fuel for the fire.Imagine that family gathering, the one where politics inevitably comes up, or that particular relative who knows exactly how to push your buttons. Stillness allows you to be present, to listen (even if you disagree vehemently!), and to choose your words and actions carefully. It's about not adding to the drama, but instead, bringing a sense of calm and groundedness to the situation.My Own Journey to StillnessI haven't always been this way. I've been bankrupt, I've attempted suicide, and I know what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed by life's storms. A pivotal moment came when I was 40. I was newly single, broke, and my wheelchair tyre burst while I was out. There I was, a grown man, crying in the doorway of a busy supermarket, feeling utterly lost.That was my rock bottom. It forced me to look inwards, to examine my own reactions, my own contribution to the chaos. I started exploring meditation, reading about inner peace, and slowly, painstakingly, began to rebuild my life from a place of greater self-awareness.I started reading and seeing about meditation, stillness and inner peace. I thought I would never have inner peace until I sorted the world out first. It was everyone else fault I was like this.Join the ConversationThis podcast is for you if you're tired of reacting, if you're seeking a more peaceful and fulfilling way to navigate life's ups and downs. Subscribe and listen on your favourite podcasting platform, and join me on this journey. Also you can visit https://stevenwebb.uk/ where you'll have access to bonus content, including videos, and the opportunity to ask me your questions directly.Remember, your time is precious. Thank you for spending some of it with me. Let's learn to find stillness in the storms, together.Take care, love deeply, be still, and above all, do what's right for you.Namaste.