The Mindful Men Podcast

Welcome to Episode 99 – Average Joes with Wayne Taylor   A plumber and a real estate agent walked into a bar…    It has all the makings of the start of a great joke, but what happened is anything but. In 2018, mates Wayne and Eliot put the call out to men of the Sunshine Coast to join them for a beer, chicken wings and chat. And it didn’t take long before blokes started rocking up – and Average Joes was born.    Average Joes is a movement that inspires men to step above average. Through weekly meet-ups, men can engage in meaningful discussions about topics that matter to them. Not only does it provide a sense of community for men, but it also helps them to find their voice, learn and grow.    In this episode, Wayne shares: The 3 types of father: inactive, reactive and proactive How Average Joes started What an Average Joes meet-up looks like What it takes to be a host for Average Joes A moment that helped Wayne realise he was doing something special The future for Average Joes Key Quotes:   “If you choose to be the inactive father, trust me the media will step in and father your child.”   “I didn’t realise that as a whole men were lonely.”   “I wanna be a men’s movement that raises a generation of men that wanna be givers.”   Connect with Wayne: Website: https://averagejoes.net.au/ LinkedIn: h https://www.linkedin.com/in/wayne-taylor-179506176/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AverageJoes.net.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/average_joes__/   Connect with Mindful Men Website at www.mindful-men.com.au Community Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindful.men.aus/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help***   Stay Mindful, Simon

Trigger warning: Child Sexual Abuse, Graphic Violence   Welcome to Episode 98 – From prison to purpose with Sonny Von Cleveland   The thought of going to prison would horrify most people. But for some who have been in the prison system, it can provide safety, belonging and the time and space to heal. At least this was the situation for Sonny Von Cleveland.    Sonny was sexually abused as a child, and his traumatic upbringing lead to a young life of crime. Repeat detentions in the juvenile system ultimately saw him enter the adult prison system as a 16 year old. It wasn’t long before the unprocessed trauma became too much and Sonny snapped; stabbing another inmate in the face, and from here fell in with a brotherhood of gang members.    Later on, Sonny ended up in the hole – and it’s here that he discovered a way of healing the anger that was festering inside. Join us as Sonny take us through his transformational journey, and shares how he uses his pain to inspire change in others.    In this episode, Sonny shares: The impact of being sexually assaulted as a child His 18 years in prison, including life as a gang member How prison bought out his unresolved anger The man in prison who helped him heal and discover his purpose His connection with Viking faith His techniques for moving thoughts out of his mind and calming himself  The back story of his book and why he wrote it Key Quotes: "When you speak about your trauma it gets easier and easier. It's like lifting weights at a gym.” “When you puff your chest up and refuse to be vulnerable no one believes it.” "In my young mind, when I would get arrested, all the men that were abusing me went away." Connect with Sonny: Website: https://www.heywhiteboy.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thechoiceeffect/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sonnyvoncleveland8x Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sonnyvonclevelandofficial  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaL7Noxq4twziF_yHHCgBqA   Connect with Mindful Men Website at www.mindful-men.com.au Community Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindful.men.aus/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help***   Stay Mindful, Simon

Trigger warning: Alcohol abuse   Welcome to Episode 97 – Thriving after a liver transplant with John Weiman   Have you ever wondered what happens when you have “too much of a good thing?”. Alcohol can make us feel we’re on a good thing, but the long term impacts can have devastating consequences. This includes impacts on our mental and physical health, our identity, finances, relationships, careers and so much more.    This week we’re exploring all of this through the lived experience of John Weiman. After years of alcohol abuse, John was diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver and required a liver transplant to survive. He talks about what led to the diagnosis, and the hurdles he had to jump over just to get the doctor’s approval to do the transplant. This is a story of triumph over tragedy, and an episode you won’t want to miss.    In this episode, John shares: The incredibly young age that alcohol came into his life The way alcohol made him stop feeling alone during his marriage The process to get diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver (liver failure) Why he didn’t go to rehab and how he managed without it The family issues that lead up to his stroke How his health got so bad during his wait for transplant that he even forgot his own name The impact his drinking and Cirrhosis had on his children and family His experience in the transplant world How he now uses his learned experience to help others   Key Quotes: “Because of the chaos in the household, I developed a family out side of the household and that was friends who drank.” “Alcohol abuse is something that whether your drinking or not, lasts with you the rest of your life.” “I never thought of myself as an alcoholic, I was a people-holic” Interested in Organ Donation? Australia: https://www.donatelife.gov.au/ United States: https://www.organdonor.gov/ Connect with John: Website: https://lifebridgecoaching.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-weiman-3a109b11/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/life_bridge_coaching   Connect with Mindful Men: Website: www.mindful-men.com.au Community Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindful.men.aus/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help***   Stay Mindful, Simon

Trigger warning: Addiction Welcome to Episode 95 – Why I’m going alcohol free for the rest of 2023 For the past couple of months I have been undertaking a change in my diet and lifestyle that has been a long time coming. Alcohol has been a part of my life for a very long time and the ways it has influenced my life have changed over the years. But at the age of 40 I have decided to make a change and try cutting it out of my life. There are several reasons for doing this and in this episode I want to dive deep into my experience with alcohol and explain how I’ve been going with this recent change.   In this episode, I share: -      The realisation I had about alcohol on my 40th birthday -      The scary association my kids were making with my beer consumption -      Just how difficult it was not drink on AFL Grand Final Day -      Where my relationship with alcohol started -      The way people told me alcohol made me funny and the impact that had on me -      How I used alcohol to cope with my mental illness -      The problems my drinking caused when I entered the workforce -      The things I'm doing now instead of drinking -      My advice and tips for what to do to make a similar change for yourself   Key quotes: “So every time we would go drinking I would make an effort to get pretty drunk with the hope that people would see me and say yeah Simon you’re so funny.”   “Drinking alcohol puts a band aid on my pain.”   “Switching beer for Cacao. Half time would normally come and I’d be pretty plastered but this year I cooked up Cacao.”   Help services for addiction If you are struggling with alcohol and would like some help you can find some information through Alcoholics Anonymous: https://aa.org.au/   If you are struggling with anything you can always start with Lifeline by calling 13 11 14 and they may be able to direct you to a specific service to help as well.   For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   Join the Mindful Men Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon

Trigger warning: Domestic Violence  Welcome to Episode 95 – Ending Men's Violence Against Women and Children with Allan Ball   Domestic Violence is a major issue in Australia that can present in many different ways. This includes physical, emotional, spiritual, online and financial forms of violence and abuse. And the statistics show that 95% of all victims of violence, whether women or men, experience violence from a male perpetrator. So why is this case? And what can we do to turn things around? In this episode I will be talking specifically about domestic violence perpetrated by men against women and how it results in a tragically high loss of life every year. Helping me delve into this and discuss how we as men can be part of the solution to address violence against women and children is fellow social worker and National Director at White Ribbon Australia, Allan Ball.   Over the last 15 years, Allan has led social movements, frontline service delivery and international community engagement projects to assist women and children who are experiencing domestic violence and abuse. He has previously worked for Local Government, State Government, Federal Government and the Corporate Sector; and is now the National Director of Australia’s largest social movement encouraging men to intervene in, and advocate for, an end to men’s violence against women and children.   In this episode, Allan shares: -      What exactly is a ‘change agent’ and what do they do? -      Just how bad the domestic violence problem is in Australia. -      How his father was a trailblazer in raising children -      The ways we can include men in the discussion to help prevent domestic violence. -      The reasons Australia is struggling so much with domestic violence. -      The double standard of committing violence against female partners but not others. -      How an unregulated digital space influences the toxic traits that can grow domestic violence. -      What men can do now to help make the change.   Key quotes: “Men do choose violence because they feel like they can get away with it.”   “Collectively we’ve shaken the finger at men and said hey you're just the problem. Instead of indicting men we need to invite them into the conversation.”   “What we know is in these online communities, is that once you’re in there, is it becomes your world and when you’re only seeing a certain perspective that becomes your norm .”   More about Allan and White Ribbon   Find out more about what White Ribbon does here: https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/ You can also follow White Ribbon on social media. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whiteribbonaustralia Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whiteribbonaust/ The barbershop resource Allan mentioned can be found here: https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/barber-shop/ You can follow Allan personally on linkedin: linkedin.com/in/allanjball   For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   Join the Mindful Men Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon

Welcome to Episode 94 – That Eco Warrior with Mandy Spooner   When it comes to being mindful and aware, caring for our environment is something a lot of us are still learning about. There’s so many tricky ways to recycle, or be more eco conscious when using products in the pantry or the kitchen, but how do you even start? And how do you help your family start as well? To help answer those questions in this episode I’m talking to Mandy Spooner, That Eco Warrior. Mandy's eco-conscious journey began in 2017 when she discovered the environmental toll of single-use plastics, motivating her to make eco-friendly swaps and inspire others through social media. Since then she has released multiple eco friendly and recycling e-books, built a thriving social media presence and helps others change their recycling habits online   In this episode, Mandy shares:   -      How she got the nickname That Eco Warrior -      How she became an eco warrior -      The early misconceptions she had about recycling -      The mistakes she made convincing her family to being eco friendly -      How she has gone about raising her two boys to be eco friendly -      Her tips for building habits that will help with recycling -      Some of the surprising things that may be able to go in your curb side recycling bins -      How she can help you personally sort out your home to be eco friendly   Key quotes:   “I just couldn’t wrap my head around why people would litter.”   “Change one thing at a time. Pick one thing, change it, feel like a legend and then pick something else.”   “When the boys were younger, their room is full of plastic toys, it’s insane.”   More about Mandy   You can follow her on Instagram: @mandy_spooner You can follow her on facebook and join her community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/425215748061653 You can also follow her on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC85Uo896X2EfPZCOMYcKlcA To find out more about her services, check out her website: https://www.mandyspooner.com/ You can find the link to her ebook here: https://www.mandyspooner.com/products/living-green   To find out about what your local council will let you recycle you can check out the link we mentioned here: https://recyclingnearyou.com.au/councils/   For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   Join the Mindful Men Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon

Welcome to Episode 93 – Man Up with Gareth Shanthikumar  It's becoming widely understood that one way to encourage men to be more open about their mental health is to initiate and normalise conversations in childhood. What we are still figuring out is how, exactly, to have those conversations with young men in a way that is comfortable and impactful. The term ‘Man Up’ has traditionally been used to tell men to stop crying and hide their emotions. However, the 'Man Up' initiative, led by co-founder Gareth Shanthikumar, involves volunteers taking their program into schools to empower young men to embrace vulnerability and redefine masculinity.  With a mission like that, I had to get Gareth on the podcast to find out more about Man Up and his reasons for starting the initiative.   In this episode, Gareth shares: -      His early years growing up and how his mental health got out of control in dangerous ways -      The moment he attempted self harm and had his girlfriend leave him -      His family’s response to him admitting his mental health journey and how culture shaped this -      What happened when his behaviour was noticed by his friends and they tried to help -      How Man Up was started -      What exactly Man Up does in its programs in schools and what they discuss with young men -      Why he thinks professional help is hard for young men to seek out, and why he pushes young men to seek it -      His own advice for self care and why it is important -      What we can expect from Man Up next   Key quotes: “I am constantly unlearning a lot of my masculine behaviours, to adapt a healthy way to be.” “Sometimes you get groups where it’s the boys who appear the toughest, the most rowdy., all of a sudden this one kid is telling us about the darkest thing that’s happened.”   “Healthy masculinity looks like a balance. It’s the ability to navigate a spectrum of emotions. To be assertive but also to be nurturing.”   More about Gareth and Man Up  If you’re interested in hearing more about Man Up, or even helping sponsor them, you can reach out via email at team@manupwa.org.au You can also head to their website: https://www.manupwa.org.au/ Or you can follow them on social media,   Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/man-up-wa/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/man_up_wa/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ManUpWesternAustralia/   For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   Join the Mindful Men Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon

Welcome to Episode 92 - Finding Joy through the Inner Child (Solo episode)   In a world that often seems to prioritise seriousness and adult responsibilities, we often forget the advantages and joy that came with our childhood.   After a recent men’s retreat, I had an eye-opening experience that helped to reawaken my connection with my inner child. So in today’s episode I’ll be exploring just what that involved, the benefits of doing so and how you can do it as well. In this episode I cover: -      The seriousness of adulthood and the loneliness we can all encounter -      My own recent journey to rediscovering fun at a men’s retreat -      The powerful exercise we undertook to connect with our inner child -      An exercise you can join me in to reconnect with your inner child -      Some things we can do going forward to continue to reconnect with our inner child and rediscover fun Key quotes:   “What I started to realise, after I let my guard down, was that this was fun, this was the kind of stuff I used to do as a kid.”   “I’m so serious these days. I really do struggle to let my guard down and have genuine fun.”   “Kids are a great way to show you how to have fun, that pure fun, that pure joy from when we were younger.” For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   Join the Mindful Men Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon

Trigger warning: Gambling addiction, suicide   Welcome to Episode 91 – Strong Men Struggle with Gary Fahey Men who identify as Alpha males can often feel trapped when dealing with their internal struggles. The expectation to be strong, dependable and unwavering amidst chaos can clash with an internal voice that’s reaching our for help. But there is a way to balance the two, and this week’s guest is a prime example of this. Gary Fahey is a mental strength and performance specialist, mental health and addiction counsellor, highly sought-after speaker and bestselling author who embodies the mantra of “Lived it, Learned it, Earned it.” Gary spent 18 years with the Australian Federal Police, leading the Australian Prime Minister’s Personal Protection Team, directing the strategic and operational responsibilities of the Office of Commissioner as the AFP's Executive Officer, and managing international operations. And he did this while fighting a deep, dark and destructive battle with mental health and gambling addiction which cost him $2 million, his career, his reputation and saw him question the value of his own life.   In this episode Gary shares:   -      Where he started and what life was growing up in a low socio economic area -      How he got into the Australian Federal Police and came to work with Kevin Rudd’s security -      The way his career took a toll on his personal life -      How things outside the AFP were unconsciously happening and it took him a while to realise what was falling to the side of his high pressure career -      How gambling was the place where the noise wouldswitch off in his head -      The moment he lost his job due to his gambling addiction -      His rock bottom/scary moment in his life where he researched taking his own life -      The reason his earlier attempts to stop his addiction were not successful -      The work he's doing today to help and inspire others going through similar challenges -      The frameworks and techniques he draw on to help his clients -      The reason he doesn’t conduct sessions in offices -      The importance of lived experience especially for helping men   Key quotes:   "I found it very difficult to acknowledge to myself that I was struggling.”   "I wasn’t very conscious about building the man outside of the AFP, I was more focused on climbing the ladder.”   "I thought I had a gambling issue and tried to fix a gambling issue and didn’t realise the depression was underpinning that.”   "I needed to build skills when I was in rational thinking so that when I was irrational I might have had a chance to do the right thing."   More about Gary You can find out more about Gary and his services via his website: www.strongmend.com  And follow Gary on social media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StrongMend Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strong.mend Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfahey/ Gary also mentioned Physiological Sighing, which you can find information about here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBdhqBGqiMc&t=11s   For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon

Trigger warning: Depression, PTSD, suicide   Welcome to Episode 90 - Open Arms with Ken Otter   Making any kind of life change can have a big impact on our mental health, but there are probably very few shifts you can make as big as returning to civilian life after serving in the military. The trauma that veterans experience can have long lasting effects, not just on them, but on the friends and family around them as well. That’s why the organisation Open Arms was founded to provide mental health support for Australian veterans and their families. In this episode I speak with Ken Otter a social worker with Open Arms who has seen the many different ways trauma can have an impact on our veterans mental health and understands the unique approaches required to help them and their families.   In this episode Ken shares:   -      What first drew him to social work -      His experiences working in the mental health space in the Northern Territory -      What exactly Open Arms is and how it helps veterans and their families -      Therapy approaches used in Open Arms -      The unique ways he pitches mindfulness to veterans -      The power of having someone with lived experience to help -      Why the young age that people join the military has a significant impact on their mental health -      Why many veterans struggle with having their high level skills dismissed in the civilian world. -      The many forms of trauma and ways it can be experienced -      Some of the things to look out for, for those who might be experiencing a trauma related mental illness -      Why people need to consider their journey to be their journey and not compare it to anyone else’s.   Key quotes:   “Because you’re in the military and you’ve got this higher order purpose, it’s very hard to come back and stand around a BBQ and talk about what colour your commodore is.”   “Trauma comes in many forms.”   “Mindfulness is very individual. One person’s mindfulness is another person’s irritation.”   More about Ken and Open Arms   You can find out more about Open Arms here: https://www.openarms.gov.au/ And follow them on social media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OpenArmsVeteransAndFamiliesCounselling Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openarmspeers Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/openarms/ You can also ring the Open Arms 24/7 number on 1800 011 046. You can also follow Ken on linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-otter-03342733/?originalSubdomain=au Ken also mentioned the Netflix mini series called “True Colours” that he believes portrays the cultural differences in the Northern Territory quite well.   For more from Mindful Men Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au   You can also follow us on social media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: @mindful.men.aus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help*** Cheers, Simon