91. Strong Men Struggle with Gary Fahey

Trigger warning: Gambling addiction, suicide

 

Welcome to Episode 91 – Strong Men Struggle with Gary Fahey

Men who identify as Alpha males can often feel trapped when dealing with their internal struggles. The expectation to be strong, dependable and unwavering amidst chaos can clash with an internal voice that’s reaching our for help. But there is a way to balance the two, and this week’s guest is a prime example of this. Gary Fahey is a mental strength and performance specialist, mental health and addiction counsellor, highly sought-after speaker and bestselling author who embodies the mantra of “Lived it, Learned it, Earned it.”

Gary spent 18 years with the Australian Federal Police, leading the Australian Prime Minister’s Personal Protection Team, directing the strategic and operational responsibilities of the Office of Commissioner as the AFP's Executive Officer, and managing international operations.

And he did this while fighting a deep, dark and destructive battle with mental health and gambling addiction which cost him $2 million, his career, his reputation and saw him question the value of his own life.

 

In this episode Gary shares:

 

-      Where he started and what life was growing up in a low socio economic area

-      How he got into the Australian Federal Police and came to work with Kevin Rudd’s security

-      The way his career took a toll on his personal life

-      How things outside the AFP were unconsciously happening and it took him a while to realise what was falling to the side of his high pressure career

-      How gambling was the place where the noise wouldswitch off in his head

-      The moment he lost his job due to his gambling addiction

-      His rock bottom/scary moment in his life where he researched taking his own life

-      The reason his earlier attempts to stop his addiction were not successful

-      The work he's doing today to help and inspire others going through similar challenges

-      The frameworks and techniques he draw on to help his clients

-      The reason he doesn’t conduct sessions in offices

-      The importance of lived experience especially for helping men

 

Key quotes:

 

"I found it very difficult to acknowledge to myself that I was struggling.”

 

"I wasn’t very conscious about building the man outside of the AFP, I was more focused on climbing the ladder.”

 

"I thought I had a gambling issue and tried to fix a gambling issue and didn’t realise the depression was underpinning that.”

 

"I needed to build skills when I was in rational thinking so that when I was irrational I might have had a chance to do the right thing."

 

More about Gary

You can find out more about Gary and his services via his website: www.strongmend.com 

And follow Gary on social media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StrongMend

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strong.mend

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfahey/

Gary also mentioned Physiological Sighing, which you can find information about here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBdhqBGqiMc&t=11s

 

For more from Mindful Men

Check out the website at www.mindful-men.com.au

 

You can also follow us on social media

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Instagram: @mindful.men.aus

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Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA

 

***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help***

Cheers, Simon