Enneagram and Marriage

Ever share a vulnerable request with your spouse and get nothing back? Feel like you’re the only one initiating, planning, or keeping the spark alive? In this midweek mini, we explore the exhausting dynamic of “auditioning” in relationships - whether with partners, friends, or family. Learn how your Enneagram type and instinctual variant create different relationship needs, why anxious attachment patterns and a strong sexual instinct can make us work overtime for connection. We also share practical tips for protecting your energy without shutting down and without overwhelming your partner. If you've ever felt like you’re performing for connection rather than experiencing it, this episode is for you! Watch on YouTube! The wonderful and inspiring Soul on Fire Movie airs this weekend with some of our E + M community as extras and friends of those in the true story! Award winning cast and great message! ⁠Check it out here!⁠ ⁠https://soulonfiremovie.com/⁠ The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free ⁠here⁠ or for ⁠the upgraded plan here⁠: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you feel like this world is spinning out of control and taking your marriage and/or family with it? We've been talking about how to balance our family at a healthier pace lately on the pod and today we're so happy to have the highly influential couple, The Whole of Us, Kelsey and Tom Wauchope of Australia (1-4 pairing) help us process how to do just that. From the vulnerable space of sharing their own story of burnout and anger at one another (and the hero victim saga we can get wrapped up in) to peace and deep love to the work they're doing with others, this is one episode you don't want to miss for anything! Watch on YouTube here! Meet Kelsey and Tom on their website here! https://thewholeofus.com/ Meet Kelsey, Tom, and their family journey over the world on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/thewholeofus/?hl=en The wonderful and inspiring Soul on Fire Movie airs this weekend with some of our E + M community as extras and friends of those in the true story! Award winning cast and great message! Check it out here! https://soulonfiremovie.com/ The EnneaSummit on MidLife and Beyond is here! Sign up free here or for the upgraded plan here: https://www.tylerzach.com/midlife/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148178305%2FLS2nNmzL Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you do when AI infiltrates your marriage? When you and your spouse are talking to ChatGPT more than each other, it becomes a problem, but that's not the only way tech is taking from our relationships. Find out how you have recover your relationships in the real world in this episode with Christa Hardin, as featured on Amy Wicks' Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast, which we're sharing on our mid-week episode today! Watch on YouTube! Listen to/watch Amy Wicks at Wholehearted! https://www.simplywholehearted.com/ and https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/simply-wholehearted/id1216920050 See other research pieces for this episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/global-ai-summit-2025/Read referenced articles on AI here!https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2025/04/03/artificial-intelligence-in-daily-life-views-and-experiences/ https://www.nu.edu/blog/ai-statistics-trends/ https://builtin.com/artificial-intelligence/risks-of-artificial-intelligence dangers https://www.unicef.org/innocenti/generative-ai-risks-and-opportunities-children https://techcrunch.com/2025/07/21/72-of-u-s-teens-have-used-ai-companions-study-finds/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Find Heather's website and all of her goodies and freebies here! https://www.mylifewellloved.com/ Find Heather's very popular Instagram here! Find Heather's podcast here! Watch on YouTube here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

AI is novel and it seems to be here to stay, but what good (or bad) is it doing for your kids? We love tacking this topic with a research base, but we also want and need to drive forward with actual human connection. We get to do just that in this episode with Hannah Hardin, Type 4 today, as she discusses what it's like as a Gen Z tackling the issue of AI in classrooms, on social media, finding identity off social media, and so much more in this short but essential episode. Join us for tips and connection right here! Watch on YouTube! Follow Hannah over at the Artist and the Clay here! https://www.instagram.com/theartistandtheclay/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most couples are on their phones incessantly, with an average number of individuals touching their devices over 2500 times a day on average (Business Insider). We need to reduce this number, but also work with reality, and using the right kind of media can truly help, and in some instances, even deep in your connection if you’re truly thoughtful. Today Christa is joined for an inspiring conversation with Aly Bullock (Type 378, Relationships with Aly), Relationship Head at the #1 app for couples, the Paired App, and today we're having a riveting conversation as we discuss ways couples can connect with love and vulnerability when they use tech to collaborate in a meaningful way. Learn from her real life examples both on air here as well as on her social media following below which has a combined almost 1 million followers watching her tips via video, along with the Paired App. Don’t wait to connect as we finally find ways to use tech in a relational way! Watch on YouTube here! Get the Paired App here with a special 25% off the first year for our listeners and a 7 Day Free Trial of the Upgraded Version   https://www.paired.com/partners/alypodcast?utm_source=influencers&utm_medium=paid_influencer&utm_campaign=alypodcast&utm_term=podcast! Follow Aly's account here! https://www.instagram.com/relationshipswithaly/reels/ Follow the Paired App on Instagram for tips here! https://www.instagram.com/pairedapp/?hl=en Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Using the Enneagram in your marriage can be a beautiful tool for connection, but if we’re not mindful, it can also quietly create barriers, misunderstandings, or even resentment. In this midweek reset, Christa offers a heartfelt reminder to approach the Enneagram with wisdom, grace, and a deeper understanding of your spouse’s full humanity. Whether you’re new to the Enneagram or have been diving deep for years, this episode is your invitation to pause, reflect, and make sure you're using it in a way that truly supports growth and love in your relationship. Tune in now for the encouragement you didn’t know you needed—but won’t want to miss. Watch on YouTube! Listen to Amy Wicks over at the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

⁠Today we talk about AI and the dangers of losing human connection with a dear colleague and friend, Amy Wicks (Simply Wholehearted outreach and podcast), who many of our listeners know as an Enneagram coach and is also an Enneagram & Marriage Certified Coach as well! We're starting a second AI conversation (listen to the first here) which will will continue of how AI is changing our culture and lightening speed and what we can all begin to do about it. Do not use AI to get the skinny on this pod and miss this chance to engage your (actual) brain, heart, and body with us, as we dive deep together to at least somewhat untangle ourselves from the AI web that has befallen our culture. Watch on YouTube! Today we talk about AI and the dangers of losing human connection with a dear colleague and friend, Amy Wicks (Simply Wholehearted outreach and podcast), who many of our listeners know as an Enneagram coach and is also an Enneagram & Marriage Certified Coach as well! We're starting a second AI conversation (listen to the first here: https://podcasts.apple.com/jp/podcast/ai-in-your-marriage-for-better-or-for-worse/id1493137938?i=1000710264550&l=en-US) which will will continue of how AI is changing our culture and lightening speed and what we can all begin to do about it. Do not use AI to get the skinny on this pod and miss this chance to engage your (actual) brain, heart, and body with us, as we dive deep together to at least somewhat untangle ourselves from the AI web that has befallen our culture. Watch on YouTube! Listen to/watch Amy Wicks at Wholehearted! https://www.simplywholehearted.com/ and https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/simply-wholehearted/id1216920050 Sign up for the Washington Post AI Global Summit below and see other research pieces for this episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/global-ai-summit-2025/Read referenced articles on AI here!https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2025/04/03/artificial-intelligence-in-daily-life-views-and-experiences/ https://www.nu.edu/blog/ai-statistics-trends/ https://builtin.com/artificial-intelligence/risks-of-artificial-intelligence dangers https://www.unicef.org/innocenti/generative-ai-risks-and-opportunities-children https://techcrunch.com/2025/07/21/72-of-u-s-teens-have-used-ai-companions-study-finds/ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transform your marriage by understanding how the stories you tell about your partner's Enneagram type literally create your relationship reality. Marriage coach Christa dives deep into the psychology of narrative and reveals how negative internal stories become self-fulfilling prophecies that either invite growth or trigger defensiveness in your spouse. Discover the neuroscience behind why focusing on your partner's growth edges blinds you to their gifts, and learn the "both/and" approach that separates challenging behaviors from core identity. Explore how every type's greatest strength and biggest struggle are intrinsically connected, why defensive responses actually prove negative narratives "right," and how shifting your internal narrative changes your partner's capacity to show up differently. Master the art of holding both truth and grace simultaneously - acknowledging real growth areas while honoring the positive intentions behind difficult behaviors. Essential listening for couples ready to move beyond toxic storytelling patterns and create narratives that see their partner's highest potential while maintaining healthy accountability. Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Begin your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bill and Kristi Gaultiere discovered that before they could truly empathize with each other in marriage, they first needed to experience God's deep empathy for them. In this conversation, the Type 1 and Type 2 couple share how understanding their different Enneagram approaches to apologies and empathy transformed their relationship. They discuss practical calming exercises, breaking cycles of anger, and how each Enneagram type naturally blocks empathy. Bill and Kristi talk about their new book "Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God's Great Empathy for You" and share type-specific tools for building marriages where authentic connection feels safer than emotional withdrawal. Watch here on YouTube! "Reading this book is like sitting with close friends who truly get what you're going through."--Dr. Tim Clinton, president of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) "Bill and Kristi Gaultiere have provided an oasis of care in the 'empathy desert.'"--John Ortberg, teacher at BecomeNew; author of Steps Next Steps: Get the brand new book by the Gaultiere Deepy Loved right here: https://a.co/d/iGXog7V Find everything you need from Bill and Kristi here at Soul Shepherding https://www.soulshepherding.org/ Find Soul Shepherding at Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulshepherding/?hl=en Come on retreat with them! https://www.soulshepherding.org/institute/ Get healthy together as a couple this Fall! Begin your personal healing journey in the Enneagram Relationship Intensive with Christa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices