Hashtag Authentic - for creatives, dreamers & business owners online

Things we talked about:The trials and tribulations of being a “goat doula”Her new book Earthed, and its journey from concept, through to the transformation it underwent while she was writing, due to pressures from within (mental health) and without (a pandemic)How she actually managed to get it written, with all this going onThe challenges and joys of writing autobiographicallyWe dug into the need to be honest with ourselves about how we want our lives to look… and to recognise the good stuff in there, even if reality doesn’t match the fantasyAnd about lessons learned about life in pandemic times: acknowledge the difficult stuff, but don’t give up on your dreamsWe talked about the process of being diagnosed with ADHD (both of us), and how those diagnoses changed our lives – in many cases for the betterThe fear of not being taken seriously by your GPThe way the lifestyles we choose can be – subconsciously – self-medicationRebecca talked about following the things that interested her, even if that meant changing careers, and finding herself subconsciously being drawn to a life that fed what she neededAnd (this is a big one, I think), we talked about loving your brain! Loving the way it works, and the things it can do, regardless of whether or not it conforms with the way society says “all” brains should workThe importance of nature – and simple connections with animals – in keeping us grounded and helping us both give and receive unconditional loveWhere to find Rebecca online:Rebecca’s book Earthed, which came out in May this yearHer website: www.rebeccaschiller.co.ukFind Rebecca on Instagram: @rebecca.schillerWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orla Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Each week in the insta retreat we have 2 calls - one with a business/IG focus, and one like this, for mindset issues. Find out more and join in the fun at The Insta Retreat Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:Why so many of us feel suspicious about new technologies, and how we can change the narrativeThe way artificial intelligence (AI) reads and interprets our interests and activities in order to deliver content to us… and the impact that content can have on usApproaching social media mindfully, by noticing the impact certain content has on our moods and behaviours, and carefully curating what we choose to consumeThe difference between active and passive behaviour on social mediaTechnologies (other than social media) that Becca is loving… and thinking outside the box for ways in which technologies can improve our livesThe often-fraught topic of addictions, in relation to using our devices and social mediaThoughts about influencers and unhealthy comparisonsBecca shared her top tips for healthy ways to live with technologyAnd finally, I asked Becca to share what she would like the landscape of technology to look like in 10 yearsThe Insta Retreat - My tell all, best selling course for Instagram creatives and business owners.Where to find Becca online: Becca’s new book, Screen Time (https://www.waterstones.com/book/screen-time/becca-caddy/9781788704212)Becca’s website: beccacaddy.comBecca on Twitter: @beccacaddy (https://twitter.com/beccacaddy)Becca on Instagram: @beccacaddy (https://www.instagram.com/beccacaddy/) Where to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orla Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:Allowing ourselves to feel good when things actually go wellThe synchronicity of things happening when they’re supposed to (and when you’re ready)Defining success for ourselves (and it’s not always what we assume it might be)How lockdown taught Katherine to create her own “sense of safety” following the success of her book, by creating courses to shore up her incomeFinding ways to own your own story, message and brandHow Katherine’s approach to Instagram evolved from “sharing pictures” to “telling stories”Katherine’s experience of coming back from “an anxious pattern of behaviour” around social mediaThe quiet activism in the premise of Katherine’s book, Wintering, which is all about periods of life in which we feel cut off from the rest of the worldNot always having to be “on” and “up.” As Katherine says, “The vision of us being always up discounts useful wonderful things like thinking, reflecting…”How we’ve all learned things about ourselves during lockdown, and the way our priorities (and what we are willing to accept) have changedBeing diagnosed as autistic, quite late in life, allowed Katherine to make the personal changes she needed: “How to meet my own needs, rather than how to solve me”The experience of living life as a neurodivergent personFinding your right people online (if you lose followers after sharing your true self, then you’ve lost the right followers - you don’t want them)And this piece of wisdom from Katherine, for anyone who identifies with our “neurodivergent” conversation: "Your identification is yours. It doesn’t need the approval of a doctor or your mum.”The Insta Retreat - My tell all, best selling course for Instagram creatives and business owners.Where to find Katherine online:Katherine’s website, katherine-may.com [https://katherine-may.co.uk] where you will also find her booksKatherine on Twitter: @_katherine_may_ [https://twitter.com/_katherine_may_]Katherine on Instagram: @katherinemay_ [https://www.instagram.com/katherinemay_/]Katherine’s podcast, The Wintering Sessions [https://katherine-may.co.uk/winteringsessions]The True Stories Writing School [https://www.truestorieswritingschool.com], home of Katherine’s online coursesBooks we mention in this episode:Wintering: the power of rest and retreat in difficult times [https://bookshop.org/books/wintering-the-power-of-rest-and-retreat-in-difficult-times/9780593189481]Electricity of Every Living Thing: a woman’s walk in the wild to find her way home [https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-electricity-of-every-living-thing-a-woman-s-walk-in-the-wild-to-find-her-way-home/9781409172512]The 52 Seductions [https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-52-seductions/9780755362530]Where to find Sarameandorla.co.ukInstagram - @me_and_orlaMy website designer - stories studio Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT Anna and I discuss the difference between the business of writing, and the writing of writingThe fear that so many of us feel of showing up, and putting ourselves out there or “being seen to try”. Anna says this is “straight-up embarrassment,” and we feel this way whenever we step outside the norm (even if we are embarrassed for positive reasons, like receiving a compliment)But in addition to this, she says that what holds us back, post-pandemic, is “very low emotional reserves.” All of us have a lower baseline of resilience which makes pitching scarier, and rejection harder to takeRecognising when you’re in burnout (and remembering that you don’t have to have all the answers before you’re allowed to help anyone else!)Defining freelancing and the many roles that freelancers need to play. Learning to be both boss and employee, and knowing when to shift between these modesSeeking a balance between working ON the business versus IN the business. Anna says she spends 20 percent of her time actually writing… but she’s working on increasing this!The bonkers (Anna’s word but I wholeheartedly agree!) system that rewards creative people for doing a good job by making them managers - a completely different skill-set and a role that a lot of creative people don’t actually aspire to take onWorking with people in your business from a place of collaboration, rather than managementGetting comfortable with sales (and moving on from the door-to-door salesman stereotype)“Dirty capitalism” versus “clean capitalism” (in other words, the conflict-that-shouldn’t-be-a-conflict of doing the right thing while also making money) LINKS WE MENTIONEDAnna’s book, “You’re the Business: How to Build a Successful Career When You Strike Out Alone”My first chat with Anna, on “Life Lessons for Freelancers” -The book Anna mentions, “A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload” by Cal NewportThe quote I was trying to remember is attributed to Ellevest co-founder and former Citigroup CFO Sallie Krawcheck, who said, “About the most powerful thing you can do to help a society and economy is get more money in the hands of women.” Hear hear! WHERE TO FIND ANNA ONLINE Anna’s podcast, Is this working?  Which she co-hosts with Tiffany PhilippouAnna on Twitter (she’s @annacod) Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Sally is joining me for weekly bonus coaching calls in my upcoming Insta Retreat class. Enrol now at meandorla.co.ukSally’s free program, “stop people pleasing in 5 days”Sally's WebsiteThe Life Coach SchoolSally's Instagram @sallyhardie_coachMy Instagram Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

If you want to know more about my tell all Instagram class The Insta Retreat follow this linkTo read my companion blog post 'What the F is up with Instagram Hashtags?' follow this link   Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT* The often-underestimated importance of being “politely persistent”* Starting a blog and Instagram before you become an expert (practising in public), as a way to find clients after you graduate* The way Kimberly used Instagram not only as a photography portfolio but also as a way to train her writing voice ahead of writing her book, alongside her blog writing* The value of receiving immediate feedback on Instagram to hone our marketing skills: we immediately learn what works and what doesn’t, based on people’s responses* A burgeoning shift of women taking up space and creating businesses, that is reshaping our ideas of what it is to be a leader, what a CEO is, and what “sales and marketing” should look like* The historic under-valuing of creativity in the mainstream, and particularly in business (creativity is not perceived as productivity, and productivity is how we measure our worth), and how creative people (often women) are forging important changes to that attitude* Kimberly’s fabulous words, like a rallying cry, which someone needs to put on Pinterest! “Creativity is joy. Creativity is being alive.”* The highs and lows of pitching a book to publishers and agents (and recovering from rejection)* Using our public platforms to hold ourself accountable to pursuing our creative dreams* The awful summer of 2020, and Kimberly’s personal and professional turning point after reading the rather grim statistics around the number of women of colour who get book deals, and what they get paid…* The importance of investing in ourselves (even to putting our money where our mouths are!)* The nuts and bolts of self-publishing… beautifully (and being the CEO of your book)* Kimberly’s advice for anyone who is seeking the courage to follow their dreams LINKSMy Instagram class The Insta Retreat* Kimberly’s Instagram, @thelittleplantation * Her book, Creative Food Photography * Her podcast, Eat, Capture, Share * Kimberly’s blog, with lots of resources on self publishing and food photography * Sara’s podcast interview with Fiona Humberstone * For self-publishers, Kimberly recommends The Book Launch Show podcast with Tim Grahl* More about Clubhouse, a live, audio social media app, currently invitation only  Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Links mentioned in this episode:Ida on TikTok Ida on Instagram Ida on YoutubeIda’s lumberjack TikTok Clubhouse My Instagram Class, The Insta Retreat Me on Instagram – @me_and_orlaTimes for our Clubhouse chat16:00 GMT11:00 AM EST08:00 AM PST04:00 AM Sydney     Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things We Talk About In This Episode:Multi-layered, multi-hyphenated careers and what to call yourself if you’re asked at a partyBeing led by curiosity, the value of deep-dive research, and the joy of starting something newMel’s early career in the not-for-profit charity sector, and the turning point she reached that led her to galvanise a group of volunteers and ultimately, to co-create Freedom Acts, a not-for-profit group aimed at ending modern slaveryHow pregnancy can be an impetus for both creativity and personal rebellionDoing something new, how to “be a learner at every stage,” and how to get things done despite feeling totally unqualifiedPivoting careers, self-doubt and self-worth wobbles when it comes to moving from charitable work to for-profit work, the desire to “do good,” and the realisation that roles, and work, can be “both-and” rather than “either-or”Finding your ‘ideal community’ on Instagram, and building space to make that community part of your offline lifeStarting an “accidental business”Allowing your values to drive your business, or the work you do in the worldThe inner work that goes into making peace with charging for your services, skills and timeThat women need to have more stakes and autonomy in economics, finance and making money… and that we are to be trustedNavigating the world of online influenceThe concept of being influential as an improvement (what it means to be “improvingly influential”)Mel’s research into what people consistently find “influential” in both social and personal contexts (three core pillars of intuition, integrity, and impact)The value of finding and maintaining our own personal boundaries when sharing onlineThe very human desire to “be seen” - and giving ourselves permission to admit this and pursue itLinks mentioned in this episode:Mel’s websiteMel’s business, AssemblyMel on Instagram, @melwigginsFreedom ActsSara’s podcast episode “Using Instagram for Charity Fundraising, with Creating for Good”Sara’s story in Stylist magazine: “How becoming the breadwinner changed my relationship with my husband”Tara Mohr (coach and author) Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe