Real Relationships Real Revenue - Video Edition | Invest in Relationships to Build Your Business and Your Career

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Marissa King. Knowing your network helps you know what to do next. The three major types of networks are Conveners, Brokers, and Expansionists and by knowing your network type, you can know what to do to take it to the next level. Conveners are particularly well suited for people who promote or provide an ambiguous service, for example a high stakes trial lawyer. Having a network that lets people talk about you across different disciplines can be very powerful. For Brokers, thinking with empathy from all sides and knowing when to bring people together is key. For Expansionists, the trick is to keep everyone in your network and in a way that scales. Relationships are formed in moments. There are times when someone comes to you when the effort you put in is exponentially more important. Helping someone in a moment like that is something that they remember forever. Moments of truth are when you really find out what kind of relationships you’ve got. Put your phone aside, ask followup questions, pay attention, look for uncommon commonalities. Being present is something that you can be in control of. Assessing how present you are on a regular basis can make the difference. We all have to ask for help. So many professionals are resistant to asking for help but it’s an incredible way to establish a connection and deepen a relationship. It actually helps the other person at the same time by giving them the feeling of being helpful. That feeling correlates to likeability and self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to ask, you will probably get a positive response either way.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com assessyournetwork.com socialchemistry.com

Mo asks Marissa King: How can we hack our own habits to build the most robust networks? Our networks are often our most valuable asset but very few people are intentional about them. You don’t need to invest a lot of time into relationships to grow them, you just need to invest what time you have wisely. Pick one day a week and choose a 15-minute window to commit to reaching out to three people who can help meet whatever needs you have. A good place to start is the Give, Thank, or Ask framework. Send them an article or podcast you think they’d like, thank them for something they did, or ask them for something. People want to help you. The key is to keep the ask small and specific so it’s easy to answer. If someone doesn’t respond or says no, that’s okay too. It’s about putting yourself out there and creating the habit more than the outcome. Studies have shown that people overestimate how many people will say no to them by orders of magnitude. If fear is getting in the way, realize that you are more afraid than necessary. If you are struggling with the idea of connecting with other people, know that you are better than you think and people are more likely to say yes than you think.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com socialchemistry.com assessyournetwork.com linkedin.com/in/marissadking

Mo asks Marissa King: How can people use their networks to deepen relationships? Networks are relationships and the quality of those relationships is determined in the moment. Two of the biggest obstacles to deep relationships are simple distractions and not being present in the moment. If you’re in a meeting, turn your phone off and put it away. Simply having a phone on the table during a conversation makes it less pleasurable and it makes you look less empathetic. Research showed that the truth of the parable of the Good Samaritan is that how much of a hurry someone is in determines whether they stop to help. The key for everyone is to slow down and be present. Being in a hurry is the biggest roadblock to real connection. The most effective relationship-building super power you can have is the ability to listen. Most people believe they are great listeners but that’s not the case for the majority. Oftentimes people just need space to be seen and heard. Give them that full space and it’s amazing how quickly relationships can move forward. Self-disclosure and allowing people to see more hidden aspects of yourself is how you connect on a human-to-human basis. Finding uncommon commonalities is the key. If you discover that you both love to unicycle, it will lead to a much deeper connection than more surface level stuff. Give people more color and character. We all want to know each other as humans and that’s all part of your story.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com socialchemistry.com

Mo asks Marissa King: How can high-end experts create more opportunities to close more business that feels authentic and leverages the idea of a powerful network? One of the most powerful things about networks is that we can use them to think about our relationships in general. You can grow your book of business by matching whatever you’re trying to sell with network thinking. If your product or service is hard to evaluate from the outset, one of the best things you can be is embedded in a network that can vouch for you, like a Convening network. The repeated exposure in this sort of network is critical to selling such a service. If your business involves either keeping people apart or putting them together, one of the key traits you need to cultivate is empathy and the perception of being empathetic. This overcomes the tendency of people to doubt your motives. The takeaway from Expanisionsts is to stay in touch with people in the network on a regular basis, especially if your product or service is easy to understand and purchase. The ability to close deals almost always boils down to trust. High-quality interactions with people in your network, no matter what kind of network it is, are how you build that trust. People want to help you. The power of networks is that when you put individuals together into groups you get outsized gains. By investing in your network and creating value for them, that value comes back multifold to you. When you don’t ask someone for help, you are denying them the ability to be helpful. By asking for help you are actually strengthening the relationship, as well as giving the other person a sense of mastery. People like people who ask for help.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com socialchemistry.com

Mo asks Marissa King: How can we grow our book of business and career through networking? Research has shown that ⅔ of professionals, even those whose businesses depend on relationships, are actively resistant to the idea of networking. Our relationships are something that we hold dear, so being intentional and strategic about them seems morally off-putting for many people. We know that networking is certainly important and one of the best ways to overcome your initial resistance to it is to think about what you can give in an interaction instead of what you can get. It’s not just networking that matters, it’s your network. Understanding what your network looks like and what its current strengths are is going to be more effective than just increasing the number of people you know. From three decades of social science research, we know that most of the positive outcomes we care about are determined primarily by the type of network we have. We all have certain network signatures and there are three basic types. The first type is the Convener. These people invest a lot in maintaining existing relationships and have a few deep ties. This preference for stability comes with a lot of trust and emotional/psychological support. The second type is a Brokerage network. Brokers tend to straddle multiple social worlds careerwise, and talk to groups that don’t normally talk to each other. They are in the idea import/export business. Brokers have the strongest personality predictor, known as self-monitoring, which is a chameleon effect. The benefits of this type of network are innovation, creativity, and a better work/life balance. The third type is an Expansionist network, which is the quintessential network. Expansionists know exponentially more people than the average person and this kind of network is great for visibility, popularity, and influence. There is extraordinary value in your existing network, no matter what type you have. What are your current strengths and what needs do you have at the moment? Understanding that is your first step. The key to forming and maintaining a really effective network is in tapping to your existing network’s strengths, rather than just growing it. For Conveners, there is great value in reaching out to dormant connections. Those people are much more likely to provide you with new information because of the underlying trust that still remains. One of the best things you can learn from Brokers is focusing on where you are going rather than who you know. Spend time in a new space or learn a new hobby and by simply putting yourself in a new place you are likely to regenerate your network. The Expansionist ability of being able to give from one to many is a strength that anyone can take advantage of.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com assessyournetwork.com

Kara Goldin shares how she persevered through difficult setbacks and challenges on her way to growing a $100 million beverage company by being relentlessly curious and creating her own opportunities out of adversity. Learn how great business developers can ensure their long-term success by thinking differently, always looking for the opportunities around them, and creating a persistent mindset around adding value to their client’s business.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your best advice on how to focus on business development, grow our book of business, and grow our career? The first thing you can do is take care of your existing customer base since they were the customers that got everything started. Our natural instinct is to fear the companies with more money and more experience, but historically speaking those are the companies that end up in trouble because of their inability to change. The key to great business development is to figure out how to think differently. To look for new opportunities you need to come at them from the point of view of the underdog with passion and curiosity. As a consultant, sitting back and waiting for an RFP to land in your inbox is not a good strategy. You become stuck in reactive mode and more commoditized, with a low chance of winning. Creating your own opportunities is much more important. Kara learned early on not to listen to all the rules, and by doing so she ended up gaining access to an incredible amount of opportunities. She relates the story of landing her first job out of college and how the skill of “half-listening” and just being willing to learn and put herself out there opened doors for her all over the country. Don’t answer for other people. When it comes to pursuing relationships, don’t dismiss yourself before you try. Overthinking is what prevents people from creating the relationships and networks they want to have. Have fun with it and brush off the rejection. Perseverance is 100% a skill that you can learn and master. History definitely helps us if we allow it to help us. Look back at what worked and what didn’t.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What can we do to create and close more opportunities? Look around at the unique opportunities that other people are not paying attention to. The key to being the best salesperson or business development person is always looking for a way to solve problems and thinking like the customer. Don’t be afraid to think differently and put yourself in the shoes of your customer so you can see their problems from their perspective. The key to understanding people is in understanding what they really want. What is the one thing that they care about most and how can you help them get it? Most business developers make the mistake of starting with themselves and what they want. Creating opportunities is fundamentally about listening to people and understanding what problem they want to solve. Kara is an incredibly curious person who likes to ask questions and this is how she finds the opportunity to help someone. Kara gains more inspiration by learning from other businesses outside her industry. She prefers to expose herself to new ideas and new approaches by purposely putting herself in situations where she’s going to learn something new. Just being a good person and doing what you do well every single day is how you attract more opportunities into your life. Acknowledging someone else’s problem and authentically trying to help them with it is the simple secret to success.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is the best way to deepen relationships with the people who matter to us? Deepening relationships stems from understanding what other people’s goals are and what you have in common with them. Before meetings, Kara doesn’t do much research because she wants to understand what’s important to them directly. People remember the surreal moments in their life. Unlikely shared experiences with someone are a great way to create a connection with them and develop an authentic relationship. You have to do the work and have a presentation ready, but if you can relate with the prospect and have a genuine conversation with them it can be even more persuasive. Building a relationship in unique ways is a simple way to set you apart. The first interaction is often awkward, but if you push through and break the ice, the next interaction can be seamless. To rekindle older relationships, engage them along the lines of something that you share. Just reaching out and making an offer to have them join you for an event or webinar is a great way to start off and almost no one does it. Asking why is a powerful tool to finding a solution to problems. Being in the pursuit of a solution can allow you to become a connector for other people. If you can be a bridge for other people, you become more valuable to them and they will often want to reciprocate.   Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your habit when you get told no? Kara was a gymnast when she was growing up but she never really excelled at it. It was during those training sessions where she learned the discipline to always look for the good in the experience. Kara tells the story of how she lost Starbucks as a client for the Hint beverage company, a loss of 40% of her business in the span of two weeks. Despite the loss, having the product in Starbucks was the foundation of her opportunity to get into Amazon’s grocery business and led to Kara realizing that customer data is crucial. After being told by both Starbucks and Amazon that they weren’t going to share their customer data with her, Kara realized that she needed to focus on business development and start her own direct-to-consumer business. Seven years later, direct-to-consumer sales are now over 50% of the business. There were plenty of naysayers that said beverages can’t be sold over the mail but business has tripled since the beginning of the pandemic, which wouldn’t have happened had Kara listened to the people saying it couldn’t be done. Challenges and failures are the learnings that help you to do better in the long run. Great growth-oriented business developers take a setback and feel the pain, yet realize that there is something to learn from and opportunities can still come from it. When you get told no, it’s important to understand their why. Maybe that deal is not meant to be part of your journey but there is always something to learn from the experience and opportunity to find out more. Get all the info you can. A phone call about why you lost may not sound like a fun conversation but can be very enlightening. Be a resource to people that is a joy to be around. Resourcefulness is a crucial aspect of business development. Understanding the probabilities also helps give you perspective. If you are swinging for the fences and have a low probability of success and you know that, if it doesn’t work out it’s not going to be so disappointing.   Mo shares his insights from the habits of Kara Goldin. Think differently. Expose yourself to lots of different ways of thinking by going outside of your industry and learning from people who do things differently. Typically when you go to conferences with like-minded people who are doing the same things you are, you tend towards the average of those people. By exposing yourself to completely different industries, you open yourself up to incredible insights. If you share the same struggle but day-to-day work is very different, that’s where you can find some of your best ideas. This is the reason mastermind groups can be so powerful. If you aren't part of a group with diverse perspectives and experiences, either join one or create one. Create your own opportunities. The best opportunities are created before a client knows they have them. This goes back to the “move without the ball” concept from Mike Daimler. Average business developers wait until they receive an opportunity and then they react. Great business developers create their own opportunities by investing in the potential client and put themselves in a position where they are the natural choice. Offer your time upfront at no charge and dig into a client’s problem. Start helping them and end it at the point where you should get paid to do the real heavy lifting. A great give-to-get satisfies three criteria. It’s relatively easy for you, it should be valuable to the client, and it should lead to the next step. The number one correlation to success is to keep helping people. Great business developers are undaunted and keep reaching out and finding ways to help. They create connections and show that they care. Most people quit after one setback. Great business developers are undaunted, continue to be helpful, and are always adding value.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo shares his insights from the habits of Kara Goldin. Think differently. Expose yourself to lots of different ways of thinking by going outside of your industry and learning from people who do things differently. Typically when you go to conferences with like-minded people who are doing the same things you are, you tend towards the average of those people. By exposing yourself to completely different industries, you open yourself up to incredible insights. If you share the same struggle but day-to-day work is very different, that’s where you can find some of your best ideas. This is the reason mastermind groups can be so powerful. If you aren't part of a group with diverse perspectives and experiences, either join one or create one. Create your own opportunities. The best opportunities are created before a client knows they have them. This goes back to the “move without the ball” concept from Mike Daimler. Average business developers wait until they receive an opportunity and then they react. Great business developers create their own opportunities by investing in the potential client and put themselves in a position where they are the natural choice. Offer your time upfront at no charge and dig into a client’s problem. Start helping them and end it at the point where you should get paid to do the real heavy lifting. A great give-to-get satisfies three criteria. It’s relatively easy for you, it should be valuable to the client, and it should lead to the next step. The number one correlation to success is to keep helping people. Great business developers are undaunted and keep reaching out and finding ways to help. They create connections and show that they care. Most people quit after one setback. Great business developers are undaunted, continue to be helpful, and are always adding value.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What is your habit when you get told no? Kara was a gymnast when she was growing up but she never really excelled at it. It was during those training sessions where she learned the discipline to always look for the good in the experience. Kara tells the story of how she lost Starbucks as a client for the Hint beverage company, a loss of 40% of her business in the span of two weeks. Despite the loss, having the product in Starbucks was the foundation of her opportunity to get into Amazon’s grocery business and led to Kara realizing that customer data is crucial. After being told by both Starbucks and Amazon that they weren’t going to share their customer data with her, Kara realized that she needed to focus on business development and start her own direct-to-consumer business. Seven years later, direct-to-consumer sales are now over 50% of the business. There were plenty of naysayers that said beverages can’t be sold over the mail but business has tripled since the beginning of the pandemic, which wouldn’t have happened had Kara listened to the people saying it couldn’t be done. Challenges and failures are the learnings that help you to do better in the long run. Great growth-oriented business developers take a setback and feel the pain, yet realize that there is something to learn from and opportunities can still come from it. When you get told no, it’s important to understand their why. Maybe that deal is not meant to be part of your journey but there is always something to learn from the experience and opportunity to find out more. Get all the info you can. A phone call about why you lost may not sound like a fun conversation but can be very enlightening. Be a resource to people that is a joy to be around. Resourcefulness is a crucial aspect of business development. Understanding the probabilities also helps give you perspective. If you are swinging for the fences and have a low probability of success and you know that, if it doesn’t work out it’s not going to be so disappointing.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What can we do to create and close more opportunities? Look around at the unique opportunities that other people are not paying attention to. The key to being the best salesperson or business development person is always looking for a way to solve problems and thinking like the customer. Don’t be afraid to think differently and put yourself in the shoes of your customer so you can see their problems from their perspective. The key to understanding people is in understanding what they really want. What is the one thing that they care about most and how can you help them get it? Most business developers make the mistake of starting with themselves and what they want. Creating opportunities is fundamentally about listening to people and understanding what problem they want to solve. Kara is an incredibly curious person who likes to ask questions and this is how she finds the opportunity to help someone. Kara gains more inspiration by learning from other businesses outside her industry. She prefers to expose herself to new ideas and new approaches by purposely putting herself in situations where she’s going to learn something new. Just being a good person and doing what you do well every single day is how you attract more opportunities into your life. Acknowledging someone else’s problem and authentically trying to help them with it is the simple secret to success.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted

Mo asks Kara Goldin: What can we do to create and close more opportunities? Look around at the unique opportunities that other people are not paying attention to. The key to being the best salesperson or business development person is always looking for a way to solve problems and thinking like the customer. Don’t be afraid to think differently and put yourself in the shoes of your customer so you can see their problems from their perspective. The key to understanding people is in understanding what they really want. What is the one thing that they care about most and how can you help them get it? Most business developers make the mistake of starting with themselves and what they want. Creating opportunities is fundamentally about listening to people and understanding what problem they want to solve. Kara is an incredibly curious person who likes to ask questions and this is how she finds the opportunity to help someone. Kara gains more inspiration by learning from other businesses outside her industry. She prefers to expose herself to new ideas and new approaches by purposely putting herself in situations where she’s going to learn something new. Just being a good person and doing what you do well every single day is how you attract more opportunities into your life. Acknowledging someone else’s problem and authentically trying to help them with it is the simple secret to success.     Mentioned in this Episode: GrowBIGPlaybook.com karagoldin.com - Get her book Undaunted