Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

After the negative cycle is de-escalated, couples have the opportunity to create a new positive cycle. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual pursuer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'll want to listen to this episode for these tips: how to get the timing right, the signals that your body gives to expose your fear, what you need from your partner and how to ask for it! Make sure to sign up for our online couples retreat for all things Great Sex and Great Love happening on September 8th.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners to another great episode of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! Recently, Laurie read the book, "The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding Male Sexuality" by sex therapist,Daniel Watter and it sparked a conversation between Laurie and George. Low desire, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus are classified as sexual disorders that disrupt sexual function. The discussion by our hosts encourages us to explore further what our genitalsare saying when they are not "functioning" to standard. This existential approach allows us to explore beyond disorder and ways the body may be protecting itself during sex. This could signify untreated anxiety, relational distress or a new developmental stagethat is creating a crisis in a partnership. For example, after the birth of a child a relationship experiences a developmental crisis as it shifts from a partnership to parenting and caretaking of a child. It is often during these developmental changes thatnegative cycles are formed due to the change in the relationship. This is an innovative lens to look through and we hope you love this episode as much as we did!Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesUberlube - Laurie's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Long before foreplay because it is soooo good for a great sexual experience. Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners to episode #382 of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! Join Laurie and George in a discussion on re-engagement of the sexual withdrawer. In this episode, Laurie shares about recent work she has been doing with a couple as the sexual withdrawer is taking new risks in the relationship. Laurie shares that when the sexual withdrawer begins to re-engage they are getting in touch with their own internal cues, examining the space between in how they communicate about sex ("I don't orgasm through intercourse alone. I worry my partner doesn't like my smell."), and get really specific about sexual technique. The SW expresses a LOT of vulnerability here as they express to their partner what they like sexually and what turns them on. Listen to George and Laurie as they discuss new moves in the sexual cycle and their hope for the sexual withdrawer.Please check out our fantastic sponsors!Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Sometimes popping two gummies on vacation helps us have really great sex!" "I really need that glass of wine to get me in the mood!" "Smelling alcohol on your breath is such a turnoff!" As couples and sex therapists, we've talked to thousands of partners about how alcohol and substances affect their relationships. Sometimes couples report that alcohol is a major block to sexual connection, others share that it can help them get out of their heads and make sex more enjoyable. In your relationship, is alcohol a gas pedal or a brake? Meaning it turns you on and helps with desire, arousal, orgasm or it shuts you down and you withdraw from sex. If seeing your partner drunk is a sexual brake, you may feel rejected by their advances because they wouldn't typically act like that sober. If alcohol is a gas pedal, you may feel your inhibition lower and it's more comfortable to access thoughts about sex and connection to your body. Listen to this episode as George and Laurie discuss the function of alcohol in sex and relationships and what you may need to explore underneath if it is a gas pedal or brake. Our hosts approach this topic with non-judgement and are explicit that alcohol and substance use runs on a wide spectrum and affects people in many ways. We know this may open up myriad reactions from our listeners and we welcome your feedback! As always, thank you for listening and keep it hot, y'all!Check out our sponsors!Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"If couples can talk more about sex, they end up having better sex." G drops this great quote in this episode. We all have sexual scripts based on what we learned about sex in our families, cultures and societies. These contextual factors can cause us to either be very open, neutral or avoidant when talking about sex. Listen to Laurie and George roleplay a conversation between a sexual withdrawer and sexual pursuer that at first initiates a negative cycle but then works on a repair conversation. As a sexual pursuer, your excitement about the act may lead you wanting to talk about it afterwards. You're really wanting to hear and share about the experience with your lover. A sexual withdrawer may just want to bask in the afterglow and can start to feel the pressure to 'get it right' in that conversation. We also take into account what is happening physiologically after sex. Arousal is a disinhibitor, wherein we feel more free to let go and let pleasure take over. After sex, when no longer aroused you may be feeling more vulnerable as you come back to the self and might not be ready for the debrief. If you enjoy this episode and others make sure to leave us a review or follow us on Instagram for more content to keep it hot!Check out our great Sponsors!Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay60 and get 60% off your first order! And free shipping. What a deal!Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just like in therapy, we learn just as much from our listeners as you learn from us! A few weeks ago, we put out a request on our Instagram feed, @foreplay_sextherapypodcast for listeners to send us their best sex tips. Let us just say that, you DID.NOT. disappoint!! On this episode, George and Laurie read through some of the tips submitted: from being more intentional, to building anticipation and celebrating gray sweatpants season, this is a super fun and informative episode. Make sure to listen and share with your partner for some fresh ideas to keep it hot!Sponsor:Factormeals.com/foreplay50 and use code foreplay50 to get 50% off your first boxCozyearth.com- 35% off site wide when you use the code FOREPLAY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners! This episode centers on using Viagra or other medication to help with erectile dysfunction and if they are addictive. Join George and Laurie as they discuss the prescription medication, the reasons behind erectile dysfunction and danger signs to look out for. A key theme of the episode is communication with your partner around the use of Viagra. Make sure to catch this episode to have your burning questions answered and hear Laurie shine as our resident Sexpert! What questions about sex and relationships do you have? Make sure to visit our website and submit questions to our mailbag. If you find our podcast helpful please make sure to leave us a review and share!Please check out (and buy from!) our great sponsors:Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay21 and get 21 free meals! And free shipping. What a deal!Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Picture this, you walk in from a hard, stressful day at work and finally see your partner--your person. You say to them, "Honey, today was such a hard day. Everything went wrong. It was really bad." Your partner replies with, "Well, look on the bright side you're home and your job helps us keep this beautiful roof over our heads." Your body deflates a little. Your partner just brightsided you when you were really hoping for a little sympathy and comfort. This is defined as 'Toxic Positivity': an experience where someone shares something along a negative vein and the responder replies with the brightside, silver lining or overt positivity. In this episode, George and Laurie discuss how toxic positivity affects interactions between partners, why partners might anchor towards using it and how it causes disconnection in relationships. Listeners will take away intent v. impact, and how partners can shift from avoidance of negative emotion to connection through it and end up on the bright side together. If this shows up in your relationship either as the doer or receiver this episode is sure to spark a great conversation! Thanks for listening and keep it hot y'all!Check out our great Sponsors:Foria: Deeper, fuller pleasure with Foria's Awaken Arousal and Sex Oils. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY OR use code FOREPLAY at checkoutCheck out our great sponsor Uberlube. Use the coupon code Foreplay to receive a 10% discount!Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

CNN News Anchor Don Lemon recently baffled viewers on air when he said that women of a certain age are past their prime. His female co-hosts, mouth agape as Lemon doubled down on these claims. We at Foreplay felt compelled to respond to this unqualified remark. As therapists, we know that sexuality spans the life cycle and episode #376 challenges Lemon's antiquated notion as George and Laurie discuss sexuality as we age and the often invisible topic of Menopause. Women AND men do not want to miss this episode to learn more about menopause: when it starts, how long it lasts, changes to expect and tips on navigating body and sexual changes. We encourage men to be an active part of this process to help their wives cope with these changes and we emphasize the PAUSE piece. Women can see this as an opportunity to learn and explore their new body, ask what it needs, practice acceptance and find some freedom at this stage. Let us know what you think of the episode by leaving a review or sending us a DM on instagram. Check out our great sponsors:Hello Fresh - Quick, easy, fun meals. In the hurly-burly of life, it's nice to have some meals ready to make that taste great! No more staring into the fridge wondering what to make!Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you! Building a Lasting Connection - The Couple Connection System is a fun, gamified way to deepen your communication, intimacy, and connection. It's fun and informative! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual discrepancies are common in relationships. While they occur to varying degrees, an inability to have safe and secure conversation on this topic with your partner can result in the formation of a negative sexual cycle. A dark cloud can form over this wonderful part of an intimate relationship and we risk sex being viewed as negative, rather than positive, loving and bonding. Inspired by a listener question, George and Laurie tackle the challenge of sexual discrepancy in this episode. This is a MUST LISTEN for couples that see the shift in their sexual worlds after becoming parents but don't know how to talk about it, have tried to talk about it before and it hasn't gone well, or might not have the energy to touch it with a ten foot pole! Both the partner that wants sex more often and the partner that may feel overwhelmed by how much they give to others will benefit from L & G's role play and come away with ways to say it better, express more vulnerability and face this dark cloud together. Sexual discrepancy is not an ending, it's an opportunity! Check out our sponsors!Factor -- Fresh, quick, delicious! What more could you want from a prepped meal. Nothing to chop, nothing to prepare, just pop it in the microwave and you're ready. Flavor packed with any kind of menu you could want -- keto, vegan, and everything between. Use the code 'foreplay50' for 50% off your first meal.Uberlube -- the best sexual lubricant on the market! Laurie's been recommending Uberlube for years; smooth, silky, silcone-based so that you don't have to worry about the problems of oil-based lubricants. Use the code 'foreplay' for your discount!All you therapists out there! Come to our 2-day training on integrating the sexual and emotional cycles. How and when to bring up the sexual cycle, supercharge you couples work with Unleash the Power of Sex in EFT. Click here to find out more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices