Elis James and John Robins

36 hours. That is the approximate time it takes to travel to from Melton Mowbray to Gibraltar via coach. It is also the approximate time now dedicated to emails on how long coach journeys can be. But Elis and John are endlessly fascinated by your horrible horrible travels.But amidst such mega[bus] chat there’s moments that are actually quite #moving. Because you know we can deal with emotional heft and also acknowledge that John can bring the mood down on a cancer ward.Elsewhere there’s a fantastic surprise in the spin the wheel nature that is 80 Daves and the prospect of Robins as Samuel Pepys sends a chill down the spine.Have you been on a coach? Was it for too long? Maybe you’re on a coach now which has wifi and you can thus send your correspondence to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.Alternatively if you possess a 4G/5G connection then it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp. To do this just save the contact as normal in your phone, give it an appropriate name and then you can fire in your messages on WhatsApp to your heart’s content.

The Great Organiser is Robins. And his latest trick was to organise the ultimate stag for a Welshman in his forties. Design touches, #thoughtfulness and the opportunity to simply talk to people for a few hours amount to a roaring success all round and provides a prime example of why John’s so stressed all the time. It’s because he tries.In other non-stag quarters there’s a meaty old global David and the official referees’ board enters the fray around Elis’s Welsh connecting. In a rare occasion it’s a Made Up Game-less show today simply because there’s anecdotes aplenty.Do you want to contact the show? Yes. Do you have access to an electronic message inbox? Almost certainly. Well you’re in luck because elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk if the means you can use to contact the show with all yer mad father, mad-e up game and maddening stories.

Are weddings run on facts? Do they need to be ULEZ compliant? Is it a laugh when people respond to questions about dietary requirements with humorous whimsy? These are the questions that are keeping Elis James up at night as the big day approaches.Aside from the stresses and strains of organising a wedding, there’s a debate about whether reading out someone else’s tweets makes for good content - followed by 15 minutes of said content. We take a school trip to the abattoir, we spend an unfathomable amount of time on a coach, and Russell Howard drops by to answer a listener’s dilemma.There’s nothing we love more than to receive your correspondence. So send it to us on the world’s most exciting medium, email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or you can WhatsApp the show on 07974 293022

When Elis James meets his idols there’s usually only one outcome: he gets it wrong. But a chance meeting with Britpop royalty this week has given Elis the chance to set this trend right. Will he crumble? Will his symphonic bowels play ball? Will he push his glasses too far up his nose again? All is revealed within.Elsewhere, the previous torch carriers for email have done a volte face and turned on the once glorious medium, the boys decide which of them would be the better friend to various mums, and Elis tries to find a connection to a random Welsh person.Despite this week’s tirade against the misuse of email, we still want to receive your electronic correspondence. Send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293022.

John’s world has been rocked from beneath him. Our hero's fears have piled up, and a trip to the medical room - hopefully containing one of London’s timidest doctors - is needed. Join us for a deep dive into the underworld.In lighter news, dads are still up to their mad tricks, a childhood liar descends into the sewers, and John ponders how many children the podcast has sired.Have something you want to share with Elis and John? Send us your emails on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or send us a WhatsApp on 07974293022.

In today’s show ********************** ************** *************** ************ **************. The previous paragraph was censored by Producer Dave for being too balanced.In uncensored information Elis James' Welsh knowledge is put to the test, unique vocal chops are showcased, and there’s a corker of a Shame.The place to go for all that correspondence of yours is elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

“Surprise surprise”, not the words of the late Cilla Black, but those of Mr Dave Masterman, as the show takes a couple of gastronomic and lyrical turns today, in an effort to a) make a crucial judgement, and b) galvanise one of the four nations of our United Kingdom.From Cilla to one of her bezzie mates, there’s some incredibly innovative advertising involving Paul McCartney. Elis is deep in a world solely consisting of Andy Murray and wedding and John has seen something that will make his best groom feel unwell.Want to send something in then via electronic mail it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp it to 07974 293 022

Remember the Cheeky Girls of noughties Lembit Opik fame? Well today it’s the Cheeky Boys. And former Lib Dem MP Opik is the only reference to politics you’re getting due to Elis’s unsanctioned cheekiness which manifests itself as being *too* balanced.Elsewhere if you had 1,000 guesses as to what TV show John’s been watching this week, you still wouldn’t get it, and Producer Dave files through a formerly unknown Made Up Games repository.Want to contribute to the show? Shames, Games, stuff for Elis James? Then it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for those who are operational members of 21st century society.

A schism has come between Elis and John that may signal the end of Britain’s youngest broadcasters’ undisputed reign of the podcast-first platform. It all boils down to one question: are emails about the prices of things in the past interesting or boring? It’s time to pick a side. Once a side in this polarising debate has been picked, you are free to enjoy a conversation about French onion soup, a chat about Rob Auton’s lovely new fleece, and a listener calling into question Elis’s claim about never getting DOMS. Want to share your thoughts, feelings and vibes? Then email the show at elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

On the horizon approaching the dusty Elis and John town in the podcast wild west is an indiscernible speck. Over time it goes from a dot, to a blob, to a horse, to a horse with man. And the man is not just a man but a messenger. And that steed is here to drop off huge news.As we bask and delve into such massive-massive-it-is news, there’s also bard brilliance, a bleeding corker of a Made Up Game daubed all over the walls and we get a first hand account of encountering one of the greatest Daves of any gen - [do the voice] Mr David Bowie.Do you want to send anything in to the only safe haven in the podcast wild west? Then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the place to send it. The horse will then download, PDF convert and print all of your emails (as well as any WhatsApps sent to 07974 293 022) and then deliver them right to the saloon.