DadAwesome

Jake Sullivan joins us for part 4 of Screens, Smartphones & Social Media. This conversation dives into his family journey of adopting three kids from Ghana, Africa and the beauty found in trusting God's goodness. We discuss the challenges in communication skills that our kids are facing along with the power of living life along side our children. Conversation Highlights: International adoption from Ghana, Africa Acts 1:8 "I want my son to know who he is and where he is from" "Often we don't get to see the blessings and the faithfulness of God until after our obedience" Love is displayed through truth. God loved through truth. Let's love our kids and let's speak truth to our kids. A good coach will see your weaknesses and they'll walk along side you and help you grow. Walk with your kids more intentionally in the areas of sex and God's plan for sex Book: Rethinking Sexuality We are teaching and living life with our kids - bring your kids everywhere with you Deuteronomy 6:6-8 "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Intentionally live life together. Don't separate your home life and your work life. God's Goodness. God is good on the mountain top and He is good in the valley. God is the lifter when your head is weary. He makes me strong. I don't want to come across as a legalistic dad taking things from you. Authenticity & Vulnerability through screens, smartphones and Social Media. The God of our universe sees and He knows who you are Do you trust God? That He will bring the darkness to the light? We have a faithful God that wants to see us know him Do I trust the Lord? That the Lord has my kids best interest in mind? Communication - our kids are having a more difficult time communicating The ability to communicate is something that screens are taking away from the next generation. Knowing Gods goodness in the valley and on the mountain. I want my kids to see me go through a valley and never turn from Gods goodness Walk life with your children Don't let your children's sin feel like a reflection of you as their father. Walk with them and love them and don't try to hide your kids sin Powerful story about the Sullivan Family featured in the Star Tribune

Brad Griffin joins dadAWESOME for part 3 of our Screens, Smartphones and Social Media theme. Brad is the Director of the Fuller Youth Institute, where he develops research-based training for youth workers and parents. He recently coauthored Every Parent's Guide to Navigating our Digital World. Conversation Highlights: Don't miss these moments Phase research from Orange - Phase Guides are an 18-part series of concise and interactive journal-style books that simplify what parents need to know about each phase of a kid's life and give them the opportunity to discover more about their children—so they can make the most of every phase. The delicate dance of knowing when to help his daughter and when to just listen and do nothing I can rest when I am older. If it means I am going to sleep a little less to play that game or spend that extra time with my kids now, I'll rest later. We need to ask for help - ask others for help... don't parent alone Let's move beyond treating technology as the enemy Digital natives vs. digital immigrants. The similarities between a school lunch room and the digital world Let's prioritize the relationship and keep the relationship in the center and don't let media get in the center. 10 Things Every Parent Should Know About Gaming Every Parent's Guide to Navigating our Digital World

This is the second part of our technology conversation with Jonathan McKee and we dive deep into current realities and practical action steps. If you missed part 1 of our conversation, here's episode 59. Jonathan McKee is the author of over twenty books and has over 20 years youth ministry experience speaking to parents and leaders worldwide. Free resources at https://thesource4parents.com/ Jonathan's Featured Books: The Teen's Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices 21 Tips to Wise Posting in an Insecure World If I Had a Parenting Do-Over: 7 Vital Changes I'd Make Conversation notes: Common Sense Media has a study from 2015 >> teenagers average 9 hours per day of media consumption In 2012 Americans crossed the 50% mark for smart phone owners 12-17 year olds... 89% of them have a smart phone We Listen to Music For More Than 4 1/2 Hours A Day, Nielsen Says - more info Adults average 10 hours and 45 minutes per day on media Parents spend more time looking at a screen than talking with their kids or their spouse Anxiety, depression and teen suicide... Mental health is taking a dive and all the studies are saying that smart phones are playing a big part and self-esteem is at an all-time low The more time you spend on your device and especially social media, the more depressed you will be The average kid gets a smartphone at 10.3 years old Instagram and Snapchat only allows kids 13 years old or older (COPA privacy law) Free resource from Jonathan McKee: Answering 30 top questions from today's parents No mater how many parent controls you have, you can't block everything. The best parental control is conversations with your kids Guide for parental controls from Common Sense Media How do we start having conversations and teaching truth in this world of lies? If we teach our kids truth, it's going to equip them when they are exposed to the world's lies. Three Types of Parents: (Alexandra Samuels study with 10,000 parents) Limiter Enablers Media Mentors Special thanks to: Sound Engineering:WADE B PRODUCTIONS Episode Music:Brent Haglund

Jonathan McKee joins us to kickoff our Technology month. With over 20 years youth ministry experience, Jonathan speaks to parents and leaders worldwide. He's the author of over twenty books including the brand new THE TEEN'S GUIDE TO SOCIAL MEDIA & MOBILE DEVICES and IF I HAD A PARENTING DO OVER. Jonathan, his wife, Lori, and their three kids live in California and he resources parents with ongoing resources at TheSource4Parents.com. The research is clear, parents overwhelmingly look back and say "I wish I had spent more time with my kids" Song: Cats In The Cradle-Harry Chapin The YES Factor - no matter what, if my kids came to me to ask "Hey dad, will you do this?", the answer would be YES. Overreaction is never the answer. Be careful with saying to yourself, "I've got this". James 1:19 - quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to become angry Hit the "Pause Button" and take time before responding. After giving your kid time to cool off, ask them what they think the consequence should be It was me messing up that gave me the insight to do it right the next time "Angry outbursts teach our kids I can't go to mom, she'll freak out or dad isn't safe. Consider the ramifications of that feeling. If mom or dad isn't safe, then who will our kids run to for comfort, for advice and for admiration." The most important thing I tell parents when they begin learning about culture and media is "Don't Freak Out". Boundary Fast >> don't add boundaries, but instead begin the process by working on bonding. We must bond before we can add boundaries The Segue - the dissolve from one thing to another. We must slowly fade back on our boundaries as our kids grow older. Kids need clear boundaries, but those boundaries must pull back as they approach leaving the home and deciding for themselves. We need to look for opportunities for our kids to practice making decisions for themselves. MORE INFO: Free resource from Jonathan McKee: Answering 30 top questions from today's parents Special thanks to: Sound Engineering:WADE B PRODUCTIONS (itswadeb@gmail.com) Episode Music:Brent Haglund

Mel Ellenwood shares about trusting God while moving their young family to the Czech Republic to be youth ministry missionaries. This conversations builds upon our monthly WISDOM theme while adding a powerful perspective of doing hard things as a family. Mel unpacks the power of humility and asking for forgiveness in the moments of messing up as a father. God takes pleasure in us. God loves us because we are His. Understanding this will transform the way we take pleasure in our kids. Mel and Amy's Josiah Venture Website

Edrin Williams joins dadAWESOME for part 3 of our monthly WISDOM theme. This conversation challenges us to enjoy the journey and love our kids from a place of being loved by our Heavenly Father. Edrin is a pastor at The Sanctuary Covenant Church in Minneapolis and with his wife Shanequa they have two beautiful girls, Taylor 8 & Harper 2. Give the the gift of your presence to your family Step in and enjoy the journey of being a dad Your kids trust you and need you to be a big safe adult who loves them Friday night family night. The power of protecting these moments. We must receive love from our heavenly father Remember you're a beloved son of God Invite mentors to speak into your fathering Let your kids enjoy the process (stop over managing and pushing them) Celebrate your wife (cheer her along) Intergenerational Relationships (look ahead, your peers and younger dads) Pursuing mentors and Godly friends to learn and grow in your dad role. If you want to make a difference in this world, one place you can change the world is being present and making a difference in your kids. Asking intentional questions to help our kids think through their choices. It's our job as fathers to care for the souls of our children Let your wife know that supporting your family and your kids is a top priority Dads! Your role is more significant than you realize. Coffee Recommendation (Twin Cities) - http://cuppajava.com/ Book: Father Factor More info on Edrin: www.sanctuarycov.org https://www.instagram.com/edrinspeaks/

Mark Matlock is back for part 2 of a conversation about Growing in Wisdom. This episode unpacks the seven marks of a wise person and explains how the hero's journey applies to helping our kids find wise influencers. Mark walks us through cultural changes with how we pass down wisdom followed by practical ways we can accelerate wisdom acquisition for our kids. Seven Marks of A Wise Person: Trusts in God Walks in healthy relationships Seeks God's council Speaks carefully Is self-controlled Manages their resources Lives in peace James 1:5 "And if anyone longs to be wise, ask God for wisdom and he will give it! He won't see your lack of wisdom as an opportunity to scold you over your failures but he will overwhelm your failures with his generous grace." Culture expert and veteran youth pastor, Mark Matlock, will help you line your family's story up with God's story in the world around you, helping you raise wise children who have the character, values, and mission that allows them to go out into the real world and live out a real faith. Raising Wise Children explores these themes: Helping your child make decisions The importance of failure Knowing God's story for your family Changing the story your family is in The pursuit of wisdom, and much more God has placed us here to interact with and represent him to the world by engaging with the culture—not retreating from it. Raising Wise Children: Handing Down the Story of Wisdom (Mark Matlock)

Mark Matlock joins dadAWESOME for part 1 of our Growing in Wisdom monthly theme. The conversation explores the benefits of letting our kids fail along with valuable insights around us as dads needing to grow in wisdom before we can lead our kids towards wise choices. How can we accelerate the acquisition of wisdom in our kids? How can we encourage strength and confidence to help our kids stand on their own? Culture expert and veteran youth pastor, Mark Matlock, will help you line your family's story up with God's story in the world around you, helping you raise wise children who have the character, values, and mission that allows them to go out into the real world and live out a real faith. Raising Wise Children explores these themes: • Helping your child make decisions • The importance of failure • Knowing God's story for your family • Changing the story your family is in • The pursuit of wisdom, and much more God has placed us here to interact with and represent him to the world by engaging with the culture—not retreating from it. Raising Wise Children: Handing Down the Story of Wisdom (Mark Matlock)

This is part 4 of Father Family Rhythms and we're outlining five steps to put this month's theme into action. We're joined by Nate Puccini who shares insights into living with daily disciplines to support his family rhythms. FIVE ACTION STEPS: Take a day or a half day - Be intentional about slowing down and listening for the voice of your Heavenly Father. Reflect, Read, Worship, Exercise, Rest, etc. Protect key connection moments - Discover the best daily times for connecting with your kids and protect those time slots for family time. Take a risk for your kids - Be willing to risk our own priorities to make a moment with our kids. Chase a cliff - Throw yourself into serving others and investing in something bigger than yourself. Escape the trap of boredom and being stuck. Is your identity around what you do? Or is it around who you are? - Build rhythms from a place of prioritizing the most important. Follow Nate Puccini: Instagram Another Resource on Father Family Rhythms: Sabbatical Guide (from Kevin Klaas)

Special appreciation to Joshua Davis (website) with Smart Web Ninja, Tyler Van Eps (episode summary writing), Brent Haglund (podcast music) and Brian Roland (sparking the genesis moment of the podcast). Paul Stine joins dadAWESOME for part 3 of Father Family Rhythms. This conversation focusses on critical take-away points from the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. Here's a summary from the book along with a few discussed quotes: Have you ever found yourself stretched too thin? Do you simultaneously feel overworked and underutilized? Are you often busy but not productive? Do you feel like your time is constantly being hijacked by other people's agendas? If you answered yes to any of these, the way out is the Way of the Essentialist. The Way of the Essentialist isn't about getting more done in less time. It's about getting only the right things done. It is not a time management strategy, or a productivity technique. It is a systematic discipline for discerning what is absolutely essential, then eliminating everything that is not, so we can make the highest possible contribution towards the things that really matter. "When we don't purposely and deliberately choose where to focus our energies and time, other people – our bosses, our colleagues, our clients, and even our families – will choose for us, and before long we'll have lost sight of everything that is meaningful and important." "There is an unspoken hierarchy in our society about what is valuable; higher on that hierarchy are career success, fame, and wealth. Lower on the list is family, health, wisdom, and personal fulfillment." Long Form Podcast Resources with Greg McKeown: Greg McKeown — How to Master Essentialism (#355) Two Free Audio Chapters of Essentialism (on the Tim Ferris Podcast) EP 079: ESSENTIALISM: THE KEY TO A LIFE LIVED ON PURPOSE WITH GREG MCKEOWN More Info on Paul Stine: https://www.closesimple.com/ Resources Mentioned: MIOS (Marriage Internal Operating System) from the ministry Imagine Beautiful Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less Greg McKeown