DadAwesome

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Ted Lowe   Ted Lowe is an author, speaker, and the director of MarriedPeople—the marriage division at Orange. Ted is the author of two books—one for marriage ministry leaders (Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last) and one for married couples (Your Best US: Marriage Is Easier Than You Think). He served for almost 10 years as the director of MarriedLife at North Point Community Church. He lives near Atlanta, Georgia, with his four favorite people: his wife, Nancie, and their three children.   Conversation Notes:   2:35 - “It’s about going after more moments of awesome and fewer moments of awful.” 3:30 - Moving from fewer moments of awful to more moments of awesome in marriage. 4:00 - Marriage is made up of micro-moves. “We can choose to have awesome moments and they’re not as big as we think.” 5:08 - What his dad did right 5:12 - On losing his mom at age 10 6:20 - How losing his mom has impacted how he has raised his kids 10:00 - A dad fail moment 11:40 - James 1:9 “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” 12:30 - “What they’ve found in neuroscience is that you need eight seconds once you’re triggered for your frontal cortex to kick back in.” 13:25 - Take time when everyone is calm to coach our kids 15:00 - Nurture vs Nature 15:30 - "Kids come into the world fully baked. God has created them and it becomes our job as parents to steward that" 17:48 - "When we look at our kids, you can take the pressure off yourself dads of thinking that you are in more control than you are... Give yourself some freedom that you just have to guide who they are" 18:24 - Analogy from Pastor Levi Lusko about being an Archeologist 19:35 - How to be intentional with finding and stewarding mentorship. Sharing wisdom from Doug and Kathy Fields. 20:40 - Telling his kids, “It’s ok to be shy, but it’s not ok to be rude.” 22:45 - It’s important to find those couples who are down-the-road for mentorship, but be careful not to compare your family to theirs because God created your family uniquely. 25:00 - How to invite feedback from mentor friends. 26:00 - Quote from Dr. Sue Johnson - “We’re trying to get emotionally from a couple people what we used to get from a whole village.” 26:10 - Their story of adoption 28:09 - Comparing a family to a baby mobile - “it doesn’t matter if it’s healthy or not, it starts getting in a rhythm. And when you add something to the mobile, whether it’s good or bad, it gets the mobile off.” 29:40 - The four core habits in his marriage book. Your Best Us: Marriage Is Easier Than You Think 30:30 - Biblical marriage is more about how God wants us to love each other, not necessarily from examples of marriage in the Bible. 35:07 - “Marriage is not about the big day, it’s about the every day.” 36:15 - “It always takes two to keep a negative cycle going, but sometimes one can stop it.” 37:05 - “People don’t have bad hearts they have bad habits. And habits we can change.” 37:20 - His wife said, "I don't need you to FIX this. I need you to FEEL this" 36:23 - Final marriage tips: 38:44 - Sharing how his wife asked him not to talk to her like a man, talk to her like a woman. Colossians 3:19 - "Husbands, love your wives and don't be harsh with them" 39:15 - Stop patterns that frustrate her and stop allowing small things to frustrate you. 39:45 - Make moments you enjoy. What would make her so happy today. 40:00 - When asking her, “How can I love you more?” Then when she answers, say, “thanks for letting me know.” 41:30 - Keep trying to win her heart... She's asking every day; "Will he still choose me?" 42:40 - Tips for becoming a more awesome dad. “Get on the same page as far about what you feel like you want to do with the kids. Because they will play you like a fiddle…kids need to know that you’re solid.”   Conversation Links:   Your Best Us: Marriage Is Easier Than You Think Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages that Last (Ted Lowe & Doug Fields) http://tedlowe.com/ https://marriedpeople.org/

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Aaron Smith   Aaron Smith was one of the founders of Venture, now living full time in Thailand as a missionary with his wife and nine year old and thirteen year old kids. He has a passion to resource dads both in Thailand and the US.   Conversation Notes:   2:37 - Discussing life in Thailand as a dad. 5:37 - Resources Aaron is providing to help Thai dads experience the  love of God.  - "I went to a counselor and was diagnosed with work-induced burnout and kind of the result of it was that I just felt like that God expected us to work so hard and prove our worth, similar to parenting here in Thailand. Like you have to prove you have to gain your worth, your value, you have to pay back your parents for raising you, I kind of felt that way with God. But that's really not God's character if you really read the Bible. You can see that there's so much love and grace there. He just wants to spend time with us. We don't have to earn it...His desire to relate to us is not based on what we do or not do...He really cares for and loves us graciously, mercifully compassionately, and his desire is to really connect with us." 8:22 - Losing his dad in a biking accident 16 years ago. 14:10 - Encouragement for dads with young kids and balancing expectations of family and work. 14:40 - Recovering from burnout and needing time to rediscover passion for God, kids, wife. 16:30 - Rhythms that add life 17:00 - Recommended podcast: From Burnout to Breakthrough 18:25 - Verse by Verse ministries  - a resource Aaron uses for his morning time with God. 19:45 - Friendships and mentorship while living internationally. 20:19 - "More than anything else in life, as a human, I desire someone to know what's going on in my head and my heart at the most raw and honest level. If you don't have that, you're not living life. And then the truth is, like, what's inside of me is not always pretty, it's ugly, like it's really ugly and thankfully the last year I've spent working on developing that kind of relationship with my wife. Before this we had a good marriage right but it wasn't amazing. It was harmonious, but this last year we both made a commitment to each other that we're gonna share what's going on in our heart even if it's ugly, even if it's distressing, even if it's like, oh man, it's shocking, but we want to be known by each other." 22:45 - Fathers for the Fatherless rides and runs for 2021 23:15 - Sharing stories of the impact of Venture in Thailand. 29:57 - Aaron's closing prayer 31:30 - Recommended books: Surrender to Love (Book) The Gift of Being Yourself (Book) The Place we Find Ourselves (Podcast) 31:51 - Aaron's ministry page   Conversation Links:   Venture.org Aaron's ministry page  

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Seth Dahl Seth Dahl is a writer and worldwide speaker to adults and children. He is known for his powerful wisdom communicated through a contagious joy and childlikeness. Seth and Lauren love to empower families to build a strong connection that fosters peace and creates a thriving family culture. Seth, Lauren and their three children homestead with a large garden and handful of animals on a small farm in Texas. With over 15 years experience working with children and being a children’s pastor, Seth has cultivated a passion to help parents create a thriving family culture at home. Sometimes parenting is overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be! Seth and Lauren love being able to equip people with the practical and spiritual tools they need to create the thriving family culture they’ve always dreamed of.   Conversation Notes:   Episode 137 with Seth Dahl >> Show Notes 2:11 - Keep Austin Weird Jesus Loves Austin Instagram  4:50 - Praying Scripture - protection from promises of God against fear Luke 4:18-19 - Jesus reads Isaiah - He announces that “The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because He has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”… 5:45 - Crafted Prayer by Graham Cooke 6:46 "I'm teaching my kids the Bible and I'm praying over them and I'm doing it over and over... I don't want them to just know verses that they learned in kids church. These are the Scriptures I want them to become who they are and to pull out that peaceful, powerful, loved, blessed child that they are..." 8:55 - Powerful story of transforming the pain of not having a father growing up into gratitude and intentionality with his own family 9:36 - "Be thankful in all things." 10:50 - "Honor is celebrating who they are, who God made them to be, without stumbling over their stuff." Wearing a ring as a statement of honor and reminding what he's changing and breaking off his family. 15:05 - An encounter with God that transformed the pain of his dad and his relationship with God. 18:52 - Seth's book - Raising Spirit-Led Kids: Raising Kids to Walk Naturally in the Supernatural 20:38 - 1 John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (NIV) 20:48 - The difference between punishment and discipline. 21:03 - Hebrews 12:8 - "If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all." (NIV) 21:13 - "If we punish our kids, we bring in the spirit of fear, not the spirit of God, the spirit of love....but if we don't discipline, it says we basically invite the orphan spirit, because they're now illegitimate orphaned children because we don't discipline, we don't correct, we don't have boundaries....so that's a huge part of the book because you don't want to punish, but you do want to discipline." 24:08 - The heart of sonship and identity vs. heart of an orphan. "At its simplest, it means we're no longer alone in this, we're not on our own." 26:15 - "The son is like, 'I'm not on my own. I do what I see the Father doing. He helps me, he leads me, he's for me, he loves me, he pours into me, and then I have it to give to them. I don't have to conjure it up. I don't have to figure it out. I don't have to do all these fancy tricks. I receive and then I give..." 28:25 - "He is the architect and we are the contractors. It's our job to figure out his plan that he's designed and then design it and help build it in the earth." 30:37 - Judges 13:8 - "Then Manoah prayed to the Lord: 'Pardon your servant, Lord. I beg you to let the man of God you sent to us come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born.'" Manoah prays for an encounter with God to give specific directions for how to raise his son. 31:55 - "I don't want to do it just from books, I don't want to do it just from the Bible, I want to do it from meeting God. I want encounters with God where he teaches me what to do with my kids and reminds me who they are." Conversation Links:   Episode 137 of dadAWESOME with Seth Dahl Seth Dahl Website Raising Spirit-Led Kids Arrows Win Win Parenting   

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jonathan Wiggins Jonathan Wiggins is a Christ follower who loves his wife, his family and his community of friends. Jonathan speaks, writes and mentors leaders. He is the lead pastor of Rez.church in Loveland, Colorado.   Conversation Notes:   3:37 - Jonathan introduces his family 6:26 - Learning the dreams of people you love... exploring them and fueling them 8:25 - "he made so many of my dreams come true" 9:25 - "I don't even know what your dreams are I don't know what the kids dreams are and so we spent the next few days unpacking the dreams of our kids of my wife or myself we wrote them down" 9:45 - Renting an RV and putting 30,000 miles on it chasing dreams 11:45 - Father's Day Facebook Post 13:04 - Bible story of Rachel and Lea >> "The eyes of the Father are always turned toward those who hurt" 15:35 - Don Boyett > "From you I learned that the eyes of the Father are always turned toward those who hurt. I learned that punishment is only useful to minimize exposure to greater harm. I learned that relationship, acceptance and love is what it takes to make a man. Thank you." 15:45 - Jeff > "I have found that deep pain unhealed and un-surrendered to God without the Lord's power can really mess people up and cause such pain to their future kids and their future spouse and their like pain can really ripple down through generations we see it in the bible all over the place but sure deep pain that is transformed and healed and and submitted to a loving heavenly father that deep pain can lead to deep passion" 16:20 - Bone brake analogy - forgiveness 17:30 - "I  remember just praying, God I don't know how to do this and I felt like God spoke to me and just said, imitate Me as I imitate christ... and I felt like God said who's the best father you know and I was like Don Boyett... i mean he's the best father I know and I felt like God said, just imitate him follow his example and in following the example of a great father I've become a good father" 18:30 - darkness 20:30 - "If light rescued me as a son, maybe light can rescue my son" 20:40 - "Whatever I say or do, my kids are allowed to tell anybody at any time" 21:25 - "You're only as sick as your secrets" Galatians 6:1 23:20 - getting along or with trusted friends in the wilderness 23:50 - Restoration Project - wilderness retreats 25:00 - Story of letting his son take the lead... healing through letting his son guide the play 27:05 - "It's not enough just to spend time with your kids or to pack them full of your dreams for them... it is such a kindness and it adds so much dignity to your kids to dig out what's on the inside of them to really discover what God's put in there because we do leave an imprint on our kids in their sense of self but God has first dibs on that and if we can help them discover what God's put there i think that's the best kindness we could show as dads" 29:00 - Dad Fail 30:05 - Inviting your kids to talk to you about anything 30:20 - Maximizing Connection 30:45 - Story of his son calling Jonathan out for making comparisons - "You are giving to me what that guys dad gave to him" 33:00 - Forgiveness - "I just want to be the opposite of my father" 33:40 - "Forgiveness frees us up to be the men we are called to be and not just a reaction to the pain and woulds and rejection in the past" 34:53 - Practical Advice = Make Time 35:19 - Christmas Letters - draw names and write a letter to the person whose name you draw - what you see in them. Words of affirmation. 36:20 - "I think a lot of times us dads we leave things unsaid and so if there are things like that it doesn't have to be Christmas letters it doesn't have to be anything in particular but if there's a way for you to just say you know what i'm going to intentionally say what needs to be said your words are so powerful in your kids lives so open up your mouth and spend some of those words that we sometimes are stingy with in the day speak to your kids speak into the life of your kids" 37:17 - Jonathan's Prayer NOTE: New Book from Pastor Jonathan releases in January "In at least one way, we’re not that different: Every person on the planet longs to be fully known and deeply loved—both, not one or the other. To be known but not loved makes us feel terribly exposed; to be loved but not known is superficial and unfulfilling. In this book, Jonathan Wiggins explains the heart of God for rich, strong, healing relationships. He teaches from a compelling biblical perspective, and each chapter is full of illustrative stories and practical suggestions. And Jonathan writes from experience. He has developed this kind of relationship on his staff team. They call themselves “lions” because they’ve found the courage to be honest and supportive as they work together to do great things for God’s kingdom. The concepts in this book apply to staff teams, small groups, families, and friends. If you believe life change happens in relationships, this book is for you." Conversation Links: Jonathan's Church - Rez Church Jonathan's Instagram

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Thanksgiving Giving Invitation   We're inviting our dadAWESOME community to pray about supporting this movement. Our Mission: Inspire and resource dads to live fully alive and lead their families to God’s awesomeness. A movement of dads receiving love from their Heavenly Father (Mark 1:11) and intentionally pursuing the hearts of their kids. “He shall turn the heart of the fathers to their children, & the heart of the children to their fathers…” Malachi 4:6 Learn more about supporting dadAWESOME   Allen Arnold   Allen Arnold is an author, (The Story of With and Chaos Can’t) speaker, and Executive Producer of Content for Wild at Heart. His passion is awakening people’s hearts to pursue their dreams and creativity with God. As a former Fiction Publisher, Allen oversaw the launch of more than 500 novels. Now he helps people live a better story. He loves blue oceans, black coffee, hot salsa, and big ideas.   Conversation Notes:   1:27 - Thankfulness games with our kids 2:11 - Allen Arnold's new book: Chaos Can't 2:41 -Check out dadawesome.org/give for ways to support dadAWESOME. 7:30 - "As dads, we have the privilege of inviting our kids in a way that invites them into a larger story." [additional Show Notes coming soon]   Conversation Links: Allen Arnold Website  Book: Chaos Can't  

  dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Thanksgiving Giving Invitation   We're inviting our dadAWESOME community to pray about supporting this movement. Our Mission: Resource churches with tools and coaching to help dads live fully alive and lead their families to God’s awesomeness. A movement of dads receiving love from their Heavenly Father (Mark 1:11) and intentionally pursuing the hearts of their kids. “He shall turn the heart of the fathers to their children, & the heart of the children to their fathers…” Malachi 4:6 Learn more about supporting dadAWESOME   Andy Crouch   Andy is partner for theology and culture at Praxis, which works as a creative engine for redemptive entrepreneurship. His two most recent books--2017's The Tech-Wise Family and 2016's Strong and Weak--build on the compelling vision of faith, culture, and the image of God laid out in his previous books, Playing God and Culture Making. Andy serves on the governing boards of Fuller Theological Seminary and the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities. For more than ten years he was an editor and producer at Christianity Today, including serving as executive editor from 2012 to 2016. He served the John Templeton Foundation in 2017 as senior strategist for communication. His work and writing have been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Time, and several editions of Best Christian Writing and Best Spiritual Writing--and, most importantly, received a shout-out in Lecrae's 2014 single "Non-Fiction." He lives with his family in Pennsylvania   Conversation Notes:   1:16 - Andy Crouch - Author of The Tech-Wise Family & co-author of My Tech-Wise Life with his daughter.  1:36 - Check out dadawesome.org/give for ways to support dadAWESOME. 2:59 - Introduction to Andy’s family  5:03 - What are some of the components that lead to a family that is flourishing?  Authority Vulnerability Discussing parenting literature about parenting with a balance of warmth and firmness.  6:54 - The authority and vulnerability paradox. Authority - capacity for meaningful action, the ability to do something and have it really matter in the world. Vulnerability is exposure to meaningful risk. 7:17 - “I think that our best moments as families, our best moments as parents but also kids’ best moments, are when we are given the capacity for meaningful action in some way. That is, we have some ability to have something matter that we do, AND we are exposed to meaningful risk - that is, it could go wrong and we could lose something.” 9:27 - Discussing the process of writing a book with his daughter.   11:45 - “Before they hit [adolescence], they're transparent in a way [that] we know what they're feeling, we know what they're thinking, and we usually know why. But then there's this important thing that happens in adolescence which is detaching from that transparency, in a way. Hopefully without secrets.” 12:20 - Jeff’s perspective on the book: (1) Andy continually pointed his daughter back to scripture. (2) It wasn’t just about technology, it was about connecting with his daughter’s heart.  14:08 - “The reality is tech is about the heart because so much of our relationships now are mediated and...especially as your kids hit adolescence... you really have to pay attention to the way that technology, and really specifically media, shrink the channel for relationship.”   16:02 - “The first way in which this is really about the heart, is our heart is ultimately about Who knows me? Who loves me? Am I known by someone and does that person once they know me, do they love me? Do they still love me... once someone really sees who I am? And you know the biggest way tech fails is on on question number one: Does anyone know me?” 17:19 - “So many of our relationships get channeled through these media that really are not sufficient for deep real relationship, and we really have to pay attention as our kids get older as to how we help them navigate that.” 17:43 - Phrase from Tech-Wise Family:  Technology makes things “easy everywhere.”  18:50 - “There are good things about this (easy everywhere), but they aren’t good for our heart because we don’t grow when things are easy.” 19:57 - “So much of our lives has become so easy, and easy is always an option, that we never actually experience what it's like to grow through difficulty, to grow through adversity. And yet, that's what actually makes us into the kind of people who can have deep relationships and who have... hearts to offer the world.” 21:15  - Being creators versus consumers. 21:45 - “I believe this goes all the way down to who we are in the image of god and that we are meant to cultivate and create in the world that's our that is our purpose as human beings uh representing the one who created the whole world.”  22:13 - Connection between consumer culture and the story of the garden of Eden. 23:20 - “And the message that we all get now is you're defined by what you consume rather than defined by what you create.”  24:35 - Coaching from Andy around family rhythms and developing a “creating” culture in our homes and with our kids.  24:45 - Definition of Culture - patterns that reflect underlying values. The strongest cultural patterns are those that everybody does. Build your culture and things you all do together.  28:07 - Build a culture on rhythms of use and non-use and a rhythm of work and rest - Sabbath. 29:07 - Screens disrupt sleep and screens allow secrets.  30:53 - How he set up his house to facilitate the family culture  32:15 - “How you design your space makes a big difference about what are you inclined to do together? Will you turn something on and start consuming or do you actually pick something up and start creating?” 33:24 - Hope and encouragement for the dad who feels like he’s messed up. “You are not going to get through this without the two elements of trust: Rupture and Repair.  35:45 - “You have got to realize that a limitless world is terrible for human beings and so you have to be willing as the authority in the home to re-establish limits that may never have had.”  38:55 - Andy’s prayer for dads.   Conversation Links:   andy-crouch.com Andy's Podcast My Tech-Wise Life: Growing Up and Making Choices in a World of Devices The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place Strong and Weak: Embracing a Life of Love, Risk and True Flourishing Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling Giving to dadAWESOME  

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jon Tyson   Jon Tyson is a Pastor and Church Planter in New York City. Originally from Adelaide, Australia, Jon moved to the United States twenty years ago with a passion to seek and cultivate renewal in the Western Church. He is the author of Rumors of God, Sacred Roots, A Creative Minority, The Burden is Light, and Beautiful Resistance. For the last 15 years Jon has lived in Manhattan with his family. He serves as the Lead Pastor of Church of the City New York.   Conversation Notes:   2:07 - Statement from a friend who works at Barna that heavily influenced Jon's life, "The church has basically reached a point of irreversible decline statistically,  and by radical discipleship of our children, what would be described as a historic revival the church is beyond human turnaround. So it's going to take an act of God and radical discipleship for our kids." 3:19 - "The summer of covid-19 has probably been the hardest season of my life, but I've seen the greatest answers to prayer in my entire life this summer as well." 3:35 - Thoughts on personal prayer life and for our kids. "Intercessory prayer for the places that we live, having a sense of call to shape a place through prayer, those are sort of the huge passions of my life and I think it's the number one thing most people want to do, but don't know how to do. And it's the thing the enemy attacks the most because it's where all the power and fruit lie." 4:33 - How to coach our kids to pray? Make Jesus as compelling as possible. Also, stewarding your own life of prayer and sharing those answers with your kids. And make prayer fun. "The goal of prayer is to get your kids to love Jesus and I think when you're a kid, making prayer as enjoyable as possible and having consistency over intensity." Video Link -"Teach Your Children to Pray" with Dr. David Ireland -- We pray that these resources will be an encouragement and help to you as you guide your children in learning to speak with God! Thank you all so much for taking your time and resources to invest in your children in this way. I am confident that the Lord is going to raise up incredible disciples because of the way you are all sewing into your children's lives and faith! 6:31 - Dr. David Ireland. Jon Tyson's coach. 7:02 - Thoughts on having a coach, finding a coach, and what Jon has learned from that relationship and how it's changed his life. 9:22 -  Reasons to have a coach - "I think everybody needs someone older speaking into what they do. It's it's quite often in midlife...you've got enough success, you've sort of built your own coping mechanisms, tactics... you're kind of like 'I can just keep it going... I've built a life [and] I can probably manage this thing out,' and I was just like I need to get better. The future's changing and as things grow I need to be more agile, so I need to get a different toolkit." 11:38 - How to recognize a mentor? "I think... we all need to know what are we deeply called to, and then we'll know when we have the right person to speak into our lives." 11:55 - The Primal Path: Raising a Son of Consequence  13:28 - Sharing about writing meaningful letters to important people in our life. 14:04 - His son's voluntary expression of gratitude and how it impacted him. 15:05 - Writing a letter to his dad to share with him what he got right. 16:04 - Richard Rohr - "Whatever pain is not transformed is transmitted."  "We tend to break our kids in the same place that we are broken because we don't know a way through it." 18:00 The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me by Bruce Feiler  19:03 - The World Race 19:08 - Sharing about the experience for his son. "I wanted him in this liminal space. My goal was to irreparably break his heart for the poor of the world so he'd never just be a spoiled, complacent American ever - He'd always be haunted, because those years are so formative... I just wanted to get in there, God's heart for the poor." 20:00 - Book: The compound effect. 20:25 - Sharing the story of his son's finishing The Primal Path with a 33 day hike across Spain 22:08 - Parenting through social contracts - agreements around responsibilities, rights and privileges. Inspired by Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families  24:43 - Book: Parenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline  25:30 - "We have a responsibility to take the beauty of Jesus and make him come alive in our kid's hearts." 26:08 - The Primal Path. "The missing piece in modern culture, designed to help you walk a kid from adolescence into adulthood." 27:25 - "Designed to create a sacred relationship and a  sacred journey between his father and his kids to help them get into adulthood....if you don't initiate your kids and take them on a journey, they will self-initiate, often through tremendous harm, or the culture will initiate them....it's basically who's going to design the pathway of helping your kids figure out life? 28:15 - "I'm trying to disrupt toxic masculinity and reclaim as normal a formation pathway from adolescence into manhood." 28:35 - Pathway for his daughter - "50 Pieces of My Heart: 50 key deposits every father needs to make in his daughter's life." 29:02 - Jon's next book, Intentional Father, Outlines five kinds of dads: Irresponsible dads - come in, get out, do nothing Ignorant dads - don't know what they are doing and do damage Inconsistent dads - torn with their own ambitions - often absent Involved dads - our culture's version of a great dad Intentional Father - believes it's the primary responsibility and builds a pathway based on who those kids are 30:40 - Sermon series around Altars. Message about the Home 31:00 - Most recent book: The Beautiful Resistance  - Being a dad of conviction vs. compromise. "Part of it comes with a sense of sort of working through your own drama... and figuring out what it is that God's given you, understanding what faithfulness to Jesus looks like, and then fundamentally breaking the fear of man... I'm not going to give an account to our culture for my life, I'm going to give an account to Jesus and there's joy in having convictions and there's joy in keeping them." 32:34 - "Work out the convictions that God puts in your heart, convictions about discipleship, and then just don't care what people think. And it takes a lot of work and maintenance to not care what people think. And then to raise kids who are not controlled by the fear of man or the culture. You can't impart that if you don't have that. So there's a lot of soul work that you need to do to understand your own values and your own convictions and then be willing to literally go to war for them." 35:23 - "Maintain the emotional bond with your kid. Kids come out of the womb with an emotional bond. Cultivate it. Keep it. That's the most important principle. So whenever you want to do any of these things, there's a connection where they trust you and they see that it's worth it."   Conversation Links:   The Primal Path Course - Raise a son of consequence The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character (available Father's Day 2021) Beautiful Resistance: The Joy of Conviction in a Culture of Compromise Jon’s Altars Series: The Heart The Home The Church The City Jon Tyson Instagram Twitter Church of the City New York

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Mark Batterson   Mark is married to Lora and they live on Capitol Hill with their three children: Parker, Summer, and Josiah. He serves as lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C., a church with eight campuses that meets in theaters throughout the D.C. metro area, and also happens to own and operate the largest coffeehouse on Capitol Hill. Mark holds a Doctor of Ministry degree from Regent University and is the New York Times bestselling author of 20 books including The Circle Maker, In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day, and Play the Man.    Conversation Notes:   2:06 - “At the end of the day, I want to be famous in my home, and it’s hard to be famous if you are not home.” 2:28 - Son - 25, Daughter 23 newly married, Son 18 3:28 - Her heart is yours as a dad until she is married. 3:54 - “Fathering daughters and sons are like two different game plans.” 4:08 - On raising daughters  - “I really believe that as a father, I have this responsibility to prototype what a man of God looks like, talks like, acts like, and how I treat her.” 5:01 - Encouraging his daughter to keep her heart pure until he walks her down the aisle. 5:28 - Mark’s books have been springboards for Jeff over the years: Circle Maker, Chase the Lion, Play the Man 6:53 - “Borrowing” life experience as a young pastor by reading books. Statistics say that every author pours about 2 years of life experience into each book. He read 250 books/year in the early days as a pastor. 8:01 - “The people I know and the books I read will determine the direction [I’m headed].” - Jeff 8:32 - The last prophetic word says that God will “turn the hearts of the father to their children… and I’m believing this nation needs revival, but I believe it starts in the home, and I believe it starts with fathers when we take ownership of the responsibility that God’s given us. And that’s not to put undo pressure on us, we are going to fall short, and that’s where the Heavenly Father compensates for our shortcomings as earthly fathers.” 9:18 - “How are your kids going to learn how to say sorry, unless they learn how to apologize from you? So your mistakes are actually one of the greatest opportunities to teach your children one of life’s most important lessons….I think it starts with prioritizing our children. Not idolizing. Prioritizing. Big difference there.” 10:15 - Mark’s prayer for dads to incline their hearts toward their children. 11:30 - Proactively pursue fatherhood with a game plan. 12:36 - Lion Chaser’s Manifesto 13:03 - Why stop worrying about the past and things we’ve done and ways we’ve been harmed?  “Because if you don’t own the past then the past is going to own you...we’ve gotta have self-awareness of those past hurts because hurt people hurt people.” 13:48 - Story of Benaiah who chases a lion into a pit on a snowy day and kills it. “Most of us run away from a roar, we run away from what we’re afraid of instead of really running toward the roar and going after those 500,000 lb challenges we face. And fatherhood feels like that.” 14:23 - “You never arrive as a dad.” 14:48 - “You will always be their dad, and it changes, but the challenge is kind of unending, and honestly I think that’s pretty thrilling because I want to be the best dad I can be at every age and stage.” 15:48 - Creating “reference points” with his kids. “I think it’s one of the most significant things I’ve ever done, more significant than being a pastor and writing books.” 16:38 - Creating a “Discipleship game plan” with a weekly FSM (Father Son Meeting) and training his kids to cultivate a “holy curiosity” over the course of the year. 18:38 - Book: Play the Man - a fatherhood book about being the man and raising the man 19:23 - “Time is measured in minutes but life is measured in moments. So as fathers, I think it’s our responsibility to almost engineer or architect moments. You can’t totally manufacture it. You still need God to show up and show off. But I do think that there are things that you can do to set the table to have those sacred moments with your kids….it’s about creating these moments that then pay dividends down the road.” 20:50 - dadAWESOME Steps Deeper Step #1 = dadAWESOME Daily - receive a text with encouragement, ideas, prayers and Bible verses - text "dad" to 77222 Step #2 = dadAWESOME Foundations - starts on November 5th https://dadawesome.org/groups/ 22:40 - Creating a poster of words of life for his daughter as prophetic words that would speak into her life. 23:45 - Thoughts on praying for your kids: God’s word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11) - Boomerang prayers - keep standing on the promises of God for our children and “the answer to the prayer will boomerang back and God will answer that prayer in a really profound way.”  25:15 - Book that Mark wrote with his daughter, Summer: God Speaks in Whispers. A book about hearing the voice of God in everyday life. 26:32 - “I think kids have a distinct advantage over adults when hearing the voice of God because they are better at learning second languages.” 29:11 - Discussing his most recent book: Win the Day. Principle from the book - “You don’t find time, you make time for what’s important to you.” 29:28 - There are two kinds of people in the world, those who want to win the lottery and leave it to chance, and those who win the day. Get up every day and practice daily disciplines, cultivate the habits that are going to produce the kind of results you want.” 29:53 - “I don’t care what goal you’re going after, what problem you’re trying to solve, what habit you’re trying to break or build, I know exactly how it’s done - one day at a time.” 30:32 - Habit #2 from Win the Day, “Kiss the Wave.” “You may not be responsible but you are response-ABLE.” 30:50 - “You have to learn to kiss the wave that throws you against the Rock of Ages.” - Charles Spurgeon 31:25 - Talking about his wife, Laura, and her cancer journey. “What have you come to teach me?” - A question to ask in hard times. “We need to embrace some of those challenges we face, in order to become who God’s called us to be.” 33:05 - A final challenge for dads from Mark. “You’ll never be a perfect parent...but you can be a praying parent. And prayer turns parents into prophets who shape the destiny of their children.” 34:29 - “Is there a blessing or a prayer that you can pray over and over and over again and it not become just repetitious or meaningless but would actually become more meaningful every time you pray it?” 34:46 - Luke 2:52 - May you grow in wisdom and stature, in favor with God and man.   Conversation Links:   www.markbatterson.com Win The Day God Speaks in Whispers  Play the Man  Chase the Lion

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jason Vallotton   Recovering mental health, Cultivating spiritual fathers, and Living with Hope. Jason Vallotton is the pastoral care overseer at Bethel Church in Redding, California and is a sought-after counselor, teacher, and speaker. Previously, he served for 10 years in the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry as a pastor, counselor, and overseer. Jason and his wife Lauren live in Redding, California, and have 4 wonderful children. Jason’s primary passion is for the hearts of men to live fully alive to their calling. In his downtime, Jason can be found hiking in the Trinity Alps, fishing the Sacramento River, or hunting anywhere that wild game can be found!   Conversation Notes:   Full Conversation = Episode 131 Takeaway #1 - Perspective Switch - there is opportunity in the hard times 1:38 - “Great opportunity comes with every hard season for those who have eyes to see it.” 1:58 – “I only get to decide what I do when I’m awake.” 2:29 – “If I don’t check out, but I stay in the game even with my kids and my family, I gain so much more than if I check out for the evening.” 2:37 – Quote from Danny Silk – “Kids are gonna pull 60 pounds of energy from you whether you give it to them or whether they take it from you you just get to decide how it happens.” Takeaway #2 - Friendships & Mentorship We must build these relationships “What is covenant? You have permission to change my mind and I have permission to change your mind.” 3:40 - “Servanthood is the way to the top. You will never outgrow serving...the more you have the more you’re required to give.” "we're building an inheritance for our kids...the relationships that you create today, that you sacrifice for, it's not it's not as fun as people think. It's not easy I can tell you all those relationships that I just mentioned, there's conflict inside of them. We use all of our communication skills and conflict resolution and honor to keep those relationships going.” Takeaway #3 - People Need What You Have 4:55 - Attending church for yourself is the lowest level of living for a Christian. 5:23 - His dad told him, “People need what you have. They need what you have, and you need to go to youth group and find someone that needs what you have and give it to them.”   Conversation Links:   Jason's Website Winning the War Within by Jason Vallotton

dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook | Twitter   Jeremy Shelton   Jeremy Shelton is a man on a mission to directly confront sexual sin in the church today. He does so with the belief God is using him to grab hold of those heading toward a slaughter. His book: UNMUZZLED, exposes the grip of sexual temptation and sin like never before, and is set to be a game-changer for Christians in sexual bondage. He no longer just claims to be a Christian; he's now determined to go out and actually do what a Christ-follower does. He and his wife of eighteen years have five children and live in Texas.   Conversation Notes:   Takeaway #1 = "Man Time" 1:58 - The purpose is to help my son know that his daddy loves him and cares about him 2:10 - give your kids the freedom to pick what they want to do 2:38 - pulling a "Mary Poppins" and dancing around on the roof Challenge = make some time on your calendar in the next two weeks. Get a 1-on-1 scheduled   3:53 Takeaway #2 = Take Time Away To Hear God's Voice 4:22 - Taking a Sabbatical  4:45 - Why take a “sabbatical day” away to hear from God. 5:10 - It's desperation that drives us to spend time with your Heavenly Father 5:20 - I liken a sabbatical to that. I go away every year for my annual sabbatical to hear the Lord on what I’m called to do for that year. It’s phenomenal when you get away to hear the Lord. My mentor said, if Jesus had to get away to hear the Father, how much should we?” Challenge = Take 2-hours and get alone with your Heavenly Father   7:02 - You Can Experience Freedom from Sexual Sin 8:00 - Deuteronomy 30:19 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live" 9:25 - Muzzled Men - “A Christian man in sexual sin…is muzzled. This muzzle renders him passive and powerless to participate in the Kingdom of God on this earth. It prevents him from becoming the man, husband, father, and witness he is called to be. This spiritual restraint mutes his connection to God. Worse, it incapacitates him from fulfilling his God-given purpose.” Can’t Bark - prevents him from becoming the man, husband, father, and witness he is called to be Can’t Bite - passive and powerless Can’t Eat - his spiritual restraint mutes his connection to God   dadAWESOME Foundations >> 4-Hours of Intentional Fatherhood – We’re hosting the 4th round of DA Foundations and it’s a Zoom online cohort on Thursdays (starts in 2 weeks) from 9-10pm. This is a FREE 4-week group that unpacks the 4 keys to adding LIFE to the dad life. You’ve got to register and we’re asking all the dads who join us to try to attend at least 3 out of the 4 dates… Here’s the outline of the content and the RSVP form. Please register by November 3rd: I am LOVED I am INTENTIONAL I am FREE I ENJOY my kids   Follow-up Links: Buy the book UNMUZZLED https://unmuzzledmen.com/ Amazon - buy the book unmuzzled Guide for a Sabbatical Day