DadAwesome cover image

DadAwesome

Latest episodes

undefined
Jun 16, 2022 • 43min

230 | Resilience, Servanthood & Showing Up For Others (Jason Vallotton REPLAY)

“Servanthood is the way to the top. You will never outgrow serving…the more you have the more you’re required to give.”   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Jason Vallotton   Recovering mental health, Cultivating spiritual fathers, and Living with Hope. Jason Vallotton is the pastoral care overseer at Bethel Church in Redding, California and is a sought-after counselor, teacher, and speaker. Previously, he served for 10 years in the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry as a pastor, counselor, and overseer. Jason and his wife Lauren live in Redding, California, and have 4 wonderful children. Jason’s primary passion is for the hearts of men to live fully alive to their calling. In his downtime, Jason can be found hiking in the Trinity Alps, fishing the Sacramento River, or hunting anywhere that wild game can be found!   Ministry Shout Out!   Crazy Cool Family A family whose mission is to show parents how to connect the relationships in their family to Jesus and each other.   Conversation Notes   3:16 – Story of Jason’s first son being born when he was 19 years old 5:11 – The gift of patience turning the burden into an opportunity. 5:35 – Having friends and community gives perspective. “But we actually get to multiply our experience the closer we are to our friends because if we walk through a hard time with them, we get to gain the wisdom and the learning and understanding.” 6:48 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3 7:49 “Great opportunity comes with every hard season for those who have eyes to see it.” – Quote from Winning the War Within by Jason Vallotton 9:17 – You can try and grow through the easy times but there’s not as much opportunity to grow in easy times because you’re not getting as much feedback. You’re not really being stretched. The easy times are a poor indicator of what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. It’s challenging to grow when you’re not being tested.” There is fruit in hard times. 10:02 – Psalm 126:5 -”Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.” Relating this to the story of a farmer making the hard choice between feeding his family the only seed he has and starting a poverty cycle, or choosing to plant the seed and watch his family starve for a season but ultimately breaking the poverty cycle. 11:07 – We’re forced into this worldwide [question], “what are you going to do with the challenge you’ve been given?” 12:07 – Going through a nervous breakdown in 2009. 13:26 – His dad told him, “You’re gonna have to decide how your kids are gonna remember you.” 14:26 – “I only get to decide what I do when I’m awake.” 14:53 – “If I don’t check out, but I stay in the game even with my kids and my family, I gain so much more than if I check out for the evening.” 15:05 – Quote from Danny Silk – “Kids are gonna pull 60 pounds of energy from you whether you give it to them or whether they take it from you you just get to decide how it happens.” 16:07 – “There’s an opportunity for people like never before not just to make a difference in history, but to learn how to embrace challenging times with confidence.” 16:46 – The inside-out dad life – what were the warning signs before the nervous breakdown? 19:50 – Moral Revolution 20:45 – Everything was good – it was so hard to decide what to put down. 22:02 – “Whether it’s hard things or whether it’s good things, it has a weight to it. It has a weight value and good stress is still stress.” 22:56 – Cultivating spiritual fathers: “If you’re going to put someone on your team, make sure they know they are on your team.” 25:39 – “My dad told me once, never apologize for favor, just make sure you use the favor well.” 26:30 – “What is covenant? You have permission to change my mind and I have permission to change your mind.” 27:01 – “Servanthood is the way to the top. You will never outgrow serving…the more you have the more you’re required to give.” 28:17 – we’re building an inheritance for our kids…the relationships that you create today, that you sacrifice for, it’s not it’s not as fun as people think. It’s not easy I can tell you all those relationships that I just mentioned, there’s conflict inside of them. We use all of our communication skills and conflict resolution and honor to keep those relationships going.” 29:33 – Clint graham david and his mighty men series of books? Linked 30:45 – Attending church for yourself is the lowest level of living for a Christian. 31:12 – His dad told him, “People need what you have. They need what you have, and you need to go to youth group and find someone that needs what you have and give it to them.” 34:52 – “Look at what you want your life to be in 10, 20, 30 years and live from now.” 35:10 – How to get out of [dark places], #1 – find new hope. Find who’s overcome what you’re going through. 35:22 – Curt Richter – Rats with Hope – Sample article 35:43 – #2 – Hope is literally gonna energize you. For hope, you wanna you want to get some vision and create some goals for tomorrow, and then weekly goals and then monthly goals. That’s how I overcame the addiction to medication. 36:30 – #3 – Pull yourself objectively outside of yourself and be able to understand that the moment that you’re in there’s a real opportunity 36:47 – “You’ll probably go through it whether you want to or not, so you might as well make it awesome, and getting some outside perspective is really, really helpful.” 37:47 – “What we hide, becomes a definer in our lives and it begins to tell us who we are. And so it probably will be the hardest thing that we ever do, is to go ‘this is really Who I am’ but you’ll receive love in a way you’ve never received love because people will love you exactly where you’re at, and not for what you want to show you are, they’ll know the real you. And therefore you’ll have the power to get out of it.”   Conversation Links:   Jason’s Website Winning the War Within by Jason Vallotton
undefined
Jun 9, 2022 • 45min

229 | Becoming Wholehearted (Morgan Snyder REPLAY)

"God is very interested and motivated in the initiation of our children. It’s what makes Him come alive. He has their best interests in mind. And when I put down my agenda, I got curious. I got responsive. The path that my children have chosen and the God has chosen for them is not what I would have chosen in so many ways, but being a student and being attentive and participating has changed everything."   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Morgan Snyder   Morgan Snyder is a strategist, entrepreneur, teacher, writer, and speaker. His passion is to both be shaped by and shape the men and women who are shaping the kingdom of God. In 2010, he established BecomeGoodSoil.com, a fellowship of leaders whose global reach offers guidance for the narrow road of becoming the kind of person to whom God can confidently entrust the care of his kingdom. He serves on the executive leadership team of Wild at Heart and Ransomed Heart Ministries, having served alongside John and Stasi Eldredge for more than two decades. Morgan goes off the grid every chance he gets, whether bow hunting in the Colorado wilderness or choosing the adventurous life with his greatest treasures: his wife, Cherie; his son, Joshua; and his daughter, Abigail.   Ministry Shout Out   Radical Mentoring A mentoring process that equips men to develop authentic relationships and overcome the issues holding them back from living “life to the full.”   Conversation Notes   2:45  - Talking about his “second great conversion”… “To become a son has changed everything for me…C.S. Lewis said, ‘I believe in Christianity like I believe in the sunrise.I believe in it because I see it every day, but it’s by the sun I see all things.' ...To become a son is my sunrise. I believe it because I’ve experienced it to be true. To unlearn God as Father the way I’ve learned it wrong and to open my heart to receive him as the true Father he intends to be. It’s by that I see all things.” 4:28 - Growing up in a home without God - winning the “game” of life - having success in many areas, but losing his soul. 5:26 - giving his life to God 6:24 - "God became my father, my pastor, my guide,  I entered into a slow and steady process of being initiated as a man and fathered as a son. And so where I find myself now is ...in process of over two decades of making my life about becoming the kind of man in whom God is glad to entrust more and more of the care of his kingdom, becoming more and more honest about what’s not yet, about what is under construction. But that used to feel like a weight and now feels like a promise because there’s so much hope.” 7:28  - His wife is the Chief Life Officer. 9:58 - His wife shared in counseling, “I feel like a bird locked in a cage. And I can’t fly"…. That wasn’t my heart’s intention at all. I dreamed about being a loving husband, but the fruit was I was a broken man, an unhealed boy inside a man that was still driving to get his question answered by achieving. I am loved when I come through. I am loved when I achieve. And now it’s just in the name of God, it’s just in the name of being a husband. And all the while my strength wasn’t actually rescuing the beauty, it wasn’t actually fighting for her, it was actually diminishing the glory of her life.” 11:29 - “I believe one of the greatest sacred trusts given to me is to champion her calling and allow her to thrive as the Chief Life Officer.” 11:47 - Finding the way to the center of your daughter’s heart. 12:16 - A birth experience gone wrong 13:27 - “God I agree with your story for my son, and I want to participate with what you have planned for him. I want to participate in initiation and I’ll participate in the birth story you have.” 13:47 - "God is very interested and motivated in the initiation of our children. It’s what makes Him come alive. He has their best interests in mind. And when I put down my agenda, I got curious. I got responsive. The path that my children have chosen and the God has chosen for them is not what I would have chosen in so many ways, but being a student and being attentive and participating has changed everything." 15:00 - Talking about his daughter - "I approach her with a question of ‘Holy Spirit would you show me her heart? Who did you make [her] to be? And how do I bring my delight to her and communicate consistently - [you] are loved. And there is nothing you can do or not do and say or not say  that will cause me to withdraw my delight. And if I can get that right, then everything else becomes secondary.” 18:13 - How do I initiate my son? 19:00 - "Fundamentally, when we can pull back from the trees and see the forest, we offer the sum total of who we’ve become, we will apprentice our kids for good or for ill into the person we’ve become.” 19:17 - Technology and growing up as an adolescent girl in our current culture. 20:16 - we try to offer what we haven’t received and offer what we haven’t become….. 21:52 - whole-hearted parenting and growing in union with God 22:00 - "We can only fake it for so long and until we come to an understanding that excavation is simply non-negotiable bc when we build on a shoddy foundation, we don't know until the storm comes but the storm will come. We are in a culture of uncertainty and in a time of shaking." 23:32 - Immaturity vs. sin 25:31 - "Reality is what we bump into when we're wrong." - Dallas Willard 26:10 - Look to the older men in your life and ask where did they get taken out or hijacked. 26:23 - "I have a choice. I either have to settle for engineering a small life, ... where life becomes mostly about comfort, security and arranging for a life that I can control, or at least have the illusion that I can control and it doesn't require me to change. And that's what most men become. Or I can take those exclamation points and I can start asking questions." 27:03 - "We really only have two choices, either humility or humiliation." 27:17 - "I realized the questions are the core to apprenticeship and it's the questions that led me back to the path of life." 30:21 - "Someone with my best interests in mind is at work. What I recovered was an upside down kingdom. Where most men build, the invitation was to stop building and allow God to excavate so that he can build your character - not just morality but whole-heartedness." 32:02 - "Actually it's the good soil, cultivated over time, that yields the supernatural harvest." 34:54 - PODCAST EPISODE ABOUT MARGIN 35:28 - How does a fish know that it's water is polluted? 36:45 - We are in an age of exponential change and we all, as a culture, carry more load than our limits. 37:15 - So if we come to terms that we are in an aggressive culture that wants to destroy our margin, the gap between our load and our limits, then we understand we have to fight to protect that space. 37:32 - "The great frontier in our age is our attention and our affection, and its in margin, its in the space between the load and limits, that we can recover our attention and our affection which was actually meant to be the epicenter of where we grow with intimacy with God." 39:00 - "Identify your load. Identify your healthy, sustainable limits. And if your load exceeds your limits, then that's a frontier in which you need to be curious with about God."   Conversation Links:   Become Good Soil Book - Becoming A King: The Path To Restoring The Heart Of A Man - Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King speaks unabashedly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his Kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love. Podcast: Become Good Soil   Links from dadAWESOME   https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/
undefined
Jun 2, 2022 • 38min

228 | Raising Kids Who Change The World (Mark Foreman REPLAY)

How do I feel about God? Am I satisfied? Comfortable? Cynical? Disappointed? Indifferent? Am I on fire? That torch in my hand will be passed to my children more substantially than any religious education. If I want my children to grow spiritually, I must stay alive.”   dadAWESOME We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook Mark Foreman   Mark Foreman lives in the San Diego area and is the lead pastor of North Coast Calvary Chapel. The question Mark and his wife Jan Foreman are most often asked is: How did you raise your kids? Never Say No takes you on a personal journey to learn first-hand how they raised Jon and Tim of Switchfoot. Mark’s been married to Jan, his “best friend and favorite Bible teacher,” for over 46 years. Together they love surfing, sailing, travel and especially being with their family. Ministry Shout Out! Wild Sons - A community of men living from a full heart, pursuing a life of passion, adventure and freedom, walking intimately with God on a journey to become the men he created us to be. https://wildsons.com/ Podcast: https://wildsons.com/podcast   Conversation Notes   3:15 – “You are the same today as you’ll be in five years except for two things the books you read and the people you meet” Charlie “tremendous” Jones 3:53 – Mark introduces himself 5:08 – Bring your kids along for the adventure. Authenticity is an important ingredient. 5:50 – Agreement with their sons that they can all talk about anything they want. All topics are fair game because Jesus touches everything 6:43 – Surfing/Fatherhood comparison 7:38 – We must isolate the different variables of fatherhood and isolate some of them and then work on the variables that you really want to change 8:51 – “If you win 5000 people to Christ and you lose your own son, how does that feel?” 10:22 – The mistake of carrying around the wooden spoon and taking on the rigid disciplinarian role 11:03 – The importance of filling our kids love tanks 11:18 – “Time, Touch and Eye Contact” and the importance of wrestling 12:38 – The importance of listening and letting your kids dream 12:55 – “I Enjoy You” and the power of these words and the wonder it brings to children to hear them 13:15 – The surprising fact that a lot of people don’t “like” their children 13:52 – The more time we spend with our kids, the more we enjoy them. We tend to like the things that we invest in 14:18 – It starts with understanding that God enjoys me 16:38 – book The Second Mountain (David Brooks) // We must go through a valley of pain before we can move to the 2nd mountain of serving and living for others 19:11 – Overview of the book Never Say No 20:53 – Process of thinking backwards and working backwards… What are we hoping for when our kids launch from the home at 18 years old? 21:18 – Most parents primary goal is safety. Most are scared to death of their kids getting hurt by the jungle of this world 21:52 – “Raising kids who own the jungle. Raise kids who change the world rather than run from the world” 22:32 – Raising artists. Every kid is raised in the image of God. He’s a creator. He’s the greatest artist. 23:40 – “Wonder happens when we get closer to God”… Humility and serving others also comes when we get closer to God. 24:24 – Reading books that stir up wonder 26:08 – Am I accidentally cutting the wings of my kids wonder and creativity 26:46 – Book Quote: ““How do I feel about God? Am I satisfied? Comfortable? Cynical? Disappointed? Indifferent? Am I on fire? That torch in my hand will be passed to my children more substantially than any religious education. If I want my children to grow spiritually, I must stay alive.” 28:51 – It must be in me before I can hope something is in my kids. 29:10 – Mark’s sons seeing him spending time reading his Bible 30:40 – “We are the caretakers of our kids hearts” 32:24 – “We’re launching our kids from the moment they’re born if we really believe we are raising kids that will change the world” 34:03 – Entire dadAWESOME episode on the book Never Say No with Ross Manders: https://dadawesome.org/episode48/ 34:32 – Slow down 35:42 – Mark’s prayer for us fathers.     Conversation Links: Never Say No (Mark and Jan Foreman) Switchfoot (his sons band) Mark’s church Mark on Twitter Links from dadAWESOME https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/  
undefined
May 26, 2022 • 40min

227 | Intentional Fatherhood & Creating the Primal Path (Jon Tyson REPLAY)

“I wanted him in this liminal space. My goal was to irreparably break his heart for the poor of the world so he’d never just be a spoiled, complacent American ever – He’d always be haunted, because those years are so formative… I just wanted to get in there, God’s heart for the poor.”   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Jon Tyson   Jon Tyson is a Pastor and Church Planter in New York City. Originally from Adelaide, Australia, Jon moved to the United States twenty years ago with a passion to seek and cultivate renewal in the Western Church. He is the author of Rumors of God, Sacred Roots, A Creative Minority, The Burden is Light, and Beautiful Resistance. For the last 15 years Jon has lived in Manhattan with his family. He serves as the Lead Pastor of Church of the City New York.   Ministry Shout Out! Adventures in Missions Adventures in Missions is an interdenominational missions organization that focuses on discipleship. We emphasize prayer and relationships in our work around the world. Since we were established in 1989, we have taken over 115,000 people into the mission field, some for as short as a week and others for as long as a year or longer. We minister year-round through our ministry bases and strategic ministry partnerships. We believe that by giving people the opportunity to step outside their comfort zones and join what God is doing in other cultures and nations, lives are transformed. We seek to disciple as Jesus did; our vision is that God would use us to raise up a generation of radically committed disciples of Jesus Christ. Family Mission Trips: https://www.adventures.org/family-mission-trips/   Conversation Notes   3:42  – Statement from a friend who works at Barna that heavily influenced Jon’s life, “The church has basically reached a point of irreversible decline statistically,  and by radical discipleship of our children, what would be described as a historic revival the church is beyond human turnaround. So it’s going to take an act of God and radical discipleship for our kids.” 5:00 – “The summer of covid-19 has probably been the hardest season of my life, but I’ve seen the greatest answers to prayer in my entire life this summer as well.” 5:28 – Thoughts on personal prayer life and for our kids. “Intercessory prayer for the places that we live, having a sense of call to shape a place through prayer, those are sort of the huge passions of my life and I think it’s the number one thing most people want to do, but don’t know how to do. And it’s the thing the enemy attacks the most because it’s where all the power and fruit lie.” 7:58 – How to coach our kids to pray? Make Jesus as compelling as possible. Also, stewarding your own life of prayer and sharing those answers with your kids. And make prayer fun. “The goal of prayer is to get your kids to love Jesus and I think when you’re a kid, making prayer as enjoyable as possible and having consistency over intensity.” 8:19 – Dr. David Ireland. Jon Tyson’s coach. 8:43 – Thoughts on having a coach, finding a coach, and what Jon has learned from that relationship and how it’s changed his life. 11:11 –  Reasons to have a coach – “I think everybody needs someone older speaking into what they do. It’s it’s quite often in midlife…you’ve got enough success, you’ve sort of built your own coping mechanisms, tactics… you’re kind of like ‘I can just keep it going… I’ve built a life [and] I can probably manage this thing out,’ and I was just like I need to get better. The future’s changing and as things grow I need to be more agile, so I need to get a different toolkit.” 13:25 – How to recognize a mentor? “I think… we all need to know what are we deeply called to, and then we’ll know when we have the right person to speak into our lives.” 13:44 – The Primal Path: Raising a Son of Consequence 15:19 – Sharing about writing meaningful letters to important people in our life. 15:53 – His son’s voluntary expression of gratitude and how it impacted him. 16:48 – Writing a letter to his dad to share with him what he got right. 17:52 – Richard Rohr – “Whatever pain is not transformed is transmitted.”  “We tend to break our kids in the same place that we are broken because we don’t know a way through it.” 19:48 The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me by Bruce Feiler 20:52 – The World Race 20:57 – Sharing about the experience for his son. “I wanted him in this liminal space. My goal was to irreparably break his heart for the poor of the world so he’d never just be a spoiled, complacent American ever – He’d always be haunted, because those years are so formative… I just wanted to get in there, God’s heart for the poor.” 21:51 – Book: The compound effect. 22:21 – Sharing the story of his son’s finishing The Primal Path with a 33 day hike across Spain 23:49 – Parenting through social contracts – agreements around responsibilities, rights and privileges. Inspired by Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families  26:32 – Book: Parenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline 27:18 – “We have a responsibility to take the beauty of Jesus and make him come alive in our kid’s hearts.” 28:03 – The Primal Path. “The missing piece in modern culture, designed to help you walk a kid from adolescence into adulthood.” 29:11 – “Designed to create a sacred relationship and a  sacred journey between his father and his kids to help them get into adulthood….if you don’t initiate your kids and take them on a journey, they will self-initiate, often through tremendous harm, or the culture will initiate them….it’s basically who’s going to design the pathway of helping your kids figure out life? 30:11 – “I’m trying to disrupt toxic masculinity and reclaim as normal a formation pathway from adolescence into manhood.” 30:23 – Pathway for his daughter – “50 Pieces of My Heart: 50 key deposits every father needs to make in his daughter’s life.” 30:50 – Jon’s next book, Intentional Father, Outlines five kinds of dads: Irresponsible dads – come in, get out, do nothing Ignorant dads – don’t know what they are doing and do damage Inconsistent dads – torn with their own ambitions – often absent Involved dads – our culture’s version of a great dad Intentional Father – believes it’s the primary responsibility and builds a pathway based on who those kids are 32:33 – Sermon series around Altars. Message about the Home 32:54 – Most recent book: The Beautiful Resistance  – Being a dad of conviction vs. compromise. “Part of it comes with a sense of sort of working through your own drama… and figuring out what it is that God’s given you, understanding what faithfulness to Jesus looks like, and then fundamentally breaking the fear of man… I’m not going to give an account to our culture for my life, I’m going to give an account to Jesus and there’s joy in having convictions and there’s joy in keeping them.” 34:24 – “Work out the convictions that God puts in your heart, convictions about discipleship, and then just don’t care what people think. And it takes a lot of work and maintenance to not care what people think. And then to raise kids who are not controlled by the fear of man or the culture. You can’t impart that if you don’t have that. So there’s a lot of soul work that you need to do to understand your own values and your own convictions and then be willing to literally go to war for them.” 37:12 – “Maintain the emotional bond with your kid. Kids come out of the womb with an emotional bond. Cultivate it. Keep it. That’s the most important principle. So whenever you want to do any of these things, there’s a connection where they trust you and they see that it’s worth it.”   Conversation Links   The Primal Path Course – Raise a son of consequence The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character (available Father’s Day 2021) Beautiful Resistance: The Joy of Conviction in a Culture of Compromise   Jon’s Altars Series   The Heart The Home The Church The City   Jon Tyson   Instagram Twitter Church of the City New York   Links from dadAWESOME https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/  
undefined
May 19, 2022 • 34min

226 | Dads Who Dare To Dream (Banning Liebscher REPLAY)

“I think that we are called to pour our life into what will be left behind…I’m convinced that what will be left behind is not structures we built, not things we implemented, but just people that we fathered – that’s what’s going to be left behind.”   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Banning Liebscher   Banning Liebscher was on staff at Bethel Church in Redding, California for eighteen years and founded the ministry Jesus Culture during that time. Banning and his family, along with the Jesus Culture team, relocated to the capital of California where they started a church, Jesus Culture Sacramento. Their vision is to see people encounter God, be empowered in community, and engage their city for revival and transformation. He and his wife, SeaJay, have three children.   Ministry Shout Out!   Christian Men's Network - https://cmn.men/ Brave Men Podcast Every Child Deserves a Loving Dad - Global Fatherhood Initiative is a human justice mission focused on defeating fatherlessness and stopping child abuse. As a result of sweeping global success, CMN has launched the Global Fatherhood Initiative—a strategic effort focusing on defeating fatherlessness, ending child abuse, and setting men free from sin and Satan.   Conversation Notes   3:30 – “I think that we are called to pour our life into what will be left behind…I’m convinced that what will be left behind is not structures we built, not things we implemented, but just people that we fathered – that’s what’s going to be left behind.” 3:51 – “I feel like I am to bring my life to the next generation and lay it down for them and give it to them.” 4:44 – Dads being dreamers vs. Dads settling 5:45 – “When I stop dreaming, when I stop allowing my heart to really dream about things that apart from God are impossible, I not longer kind of lean in, I begin to lean back. I don’t engage, I disengage. And I would say the greatest thing in the world you could do for your kids is to be a dreamer that’s pursuing what God has in your life.” 6:17 – “So I think our kids seeing us pursue the dreams that are in our heart is a really critical part of our fathering and discipling of them.” 7:02 – “I think what we do comes out of who we are, and that we can’t be defined by what we do.” 7:14 – We have a call to “be” which is our IDENTITY and we have a call to “do” which is our MISSION. 8:03 – Challenging dads to not settle for anything less than the fullness of God in your life. 10:12 – “As long as you move at the speed of obedience, and as long as you move with the speed of community and covering, then you’ll never be off, and even when you are off a little bit there will be grace because your heart is to be in this lane.” 12:20 – Banning’s new book – The Three Mile Walk:The Courage to Live the Life God Wants for You 12:43 – Family moments during quarantine 14:34 – Dad hacks to stay connected to the kids traveling 15:01 – “My kids are going to sacrifice for who I am and and the call on my life, but they also need to benefit and be blessed from that.” 15:54 – “Whatever you do, like what I do to provide for the family has some cost involved, but I also want to make sure that there’s blessing involved and that my kids are connected to it..make sure blessing is connected to the sacrifice as well and that it’s not just sacrifice, it’s not just that dad’s gone.” 18:07 – A story of trusting God with his kids 20:59 – “At the end of the day, what we know is this: any area of my life that has blessed, any area of my life that has wisdom attached to it, any area of my life that has fruit attached to it, it’s because other people have joined me in it.” 22:03 – “When I stand before God one day, [He’s going to say] I didn’t just require your best, I require your best and the best of these people I put around you, so when it comes to father I think the reality is our best ins’t good enough – that’s really never meant to be good enough.  It’ snot just my best I’m bringing to the is equation, it’s my best and it’s the best of…these men that pour into my life, that walk with me, that then allows me to be a good father.” 22:46 – “When I allow myself to be isolated, when I allow myself to be independent, when i allow myself to think that I just should be able to do this on my own and I don’t need anybody speaking into my life or challenging me or encouraging me, well I just want to say that your best isn’t good enough…God didn’t set it up that way.” 23:09 – “God didn’t set it up where…it’s just you and nobody else, you just give it your best. He’s like, I put a whole family around you and I’m bringing those strengths into your life so that you can accomplish what I’ve asked you to accomplish and raise these kids.” 23:26 – “There’s not one area of my life that hasn’t been touched by the strength of other and that’s why it has a measure of success to it.” 23:38 – The Three Mile Walk:The Courage to Live the Life God Wants for You  – Banning Liebscher 25:47 – “Those that are fully alive are the ones that are fully engaged to the call of God to be and to do.” 26:51 – “If you’re listening to this podcast I can only imagine then that you have a desire to be a great father. Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage…facing the things you have to face internally, looking at your weaknesses and trying to grow, saying God I want to be more patient…but if I’m going to be who God’s called me to be as a father, it requires me to be encouraged.” 28:10 – Reinhardt Bonnke’s book, “Living a Life of Fire” 30:51 – When I had my first kid, I realized the greatest think I’ll ever do with my life is raise this kid, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done hands down. Hands down being a dad is the hardest thing I have ever done and it has challenged me in ways I didn’t even know I could be challenged. It is scary, it is vulnerable, it is raw, and by far the best thing I’ve ever done and the greatest legacy I’ll leave.”   Links   Jesus Culture Reinhardt Bonnke’s book, “Living a Life of Fire” The Three Mile Walk:The Courage to Live the Life God Wants for You  – Banning Liebscher   Links from dadAWESOME: https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/
undefined
May 12, 2022 • 38min

225 | Fatherhood insights from the life of Abraham (Jeremy Pryor REPLAY)

"If your kids don’t see the sabbath day as their favorite day of the week, then you’re doing it wrong”   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Jeremy Pryor   Jeremy Pryor is a business owner, creative entrepreneur, author, podcaster and a builder of multiple movements with family at the core. We’re incredibly thankful for this conversation with Jeremy about his time in Jerusalem, welcoming his children into creative roles in his company and the long term iterating of their family sabbath. This is part 3 of our Creativity Month.   Ministry Shout Out!   Jon Tyson - Primal Path - https://www.primalpath.co/ The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character”    Conversation Notes   Meeting his wife in Jerusalem (5:55) Jewish dads and the intentionality of men with children (7:10) The life of Abraham and his role as a father (7:25) Asking a dangerous question- is there a connection with Abraham and how he saw family? (8:20) The Bible exclusively sees family through a fatherhood and family lens Abraham saw family as a multigenerational team on mission (9:10) Fatherhood insights from Jerusalem – Encounter, consider it, be influenced, adopt these principles (10:20) Story about Jeremy’s daughter joining him on mission with his podcast (11:40) It’s ok to sweep your kids into your own quirky obsessions (12:40) >> Strategically propagandizing his kids Superhero movies and the explosion of interest with the mythical (13:20) They read the same 5 passages of scripture each week as a family (14:59) Book Life together by Bonhoeffer Deuteronomy 6 Bible Midrash (15:50) Friday night epic meal to kick off the sabbath (16:00) Friday feast – Iterating on their sabbath for 15 years (16:40) It’s a skill to learn how to honor God with the sabbath (17:59) Entering Rest Cleaning up as a team. Make it a dance party (18:35) Sabbath – "if your kids don’t see the sabbath day as their favorite day of the week, then you’re doing it wrong” (20:20) The sabbath is the Zenith of the week. Make it fun and make it meaningful and give yourself lot’s of grace. The goal is for the sabbath to be life giving Goal – for his kids to all want to honor the sabbath when they are grown A mentor told Jeremy that he wasn’t connecting with his sons heart (23:20) My bar was not at the right place with regards to what it meant to really have your kids heart at every stage (24:59) Are you partnering really well with your wife in this current season?  (27:10) Don’t be passive. Be a leader. Be a directive leader. (27:20) Be a strong central presence in the home in the stage of young kids. (28:20) Be a culture setter in the home (28:40) Creativity is within the mandate of Genesis 1 (28:59) God had a creative challenge and he set loose the family (29:50) There in nothing more central to the mandate of the family than being creative (30:40) Thinking about family as an investment with a much longer time horizon (32:20) We are not the center of our story. We’re part of a much bigger multigenerational story (32:45) When dads start thinking multigenerational (33:40)   Links   https://familyteams.com/podcasts/ The Skill of Fatherhood Masterclass https://epipheo.com/ https://familyteams.com/resources/ https://www.1kh.org/ http://www.storyformedlife.org/   Links from dadAWESOME   https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/
undefined
May 5, 2022 • 40min

224 | Slowing Down & Recovering Your Heart (John Eldredge REPLAY)

“Human beings were not meant to live in isolation and we weren’t meant to live in a constant unknown. Learning to let it go (benevolent detachment)… is step one.”   dadAWESOME We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   John Eldredge John Eldredge is an author, a counselor, and a teacher. He is also president of Ransomed Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God, recover their own hearts in God’s love, and learn to live in God’s Kingdom. John and Stasi live in Colorado Springs and he loves the outdoors passionately. His most recent book, Take Your Life Back provides a refreshingly simple guide to recover your life. By practicing a few wonder­fully simple practices—or what John calls “graces”—you can begin to recover your soul, disentangle from the tragedies of this broken world, and discover the restorative power of beauty. Ministry Shout Out! Morgan Snyder - https://becomegoodsoil.com/about/ Become Good Soil -  BECOMING A KING - Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King speaks unabashedly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his Kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love. Podcast Conversation Notes 5:57 – Most recent book: Get your Life Back by John Eldredge – 6:30 –  “I had no idea how fast I was running and how little margin I had in my life.” 6:56 – There has been a war for our attention that has kept us from giving our attention to our loved ones. 8:00 – “I was noticing assault on us by the world was robbing us of the ability to be present… to anything.” 8:54 – Coaching tips for moving into the lifestyle of learning to nourish our souls. 9:37 – The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr 11:44 – One Minute Pause App by John Eldredge – A simple mindfulness app (www.pauseapp.com) 13:00 – 1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you. 13:15 – “Human beings were not meant to live in isolation and we weren’t meant to live in a constant unknown. Learning to let it go (benevolent detachment)… is step one.” 15:15 – Steps to the App:  1) Release. Let it go. 2) Heal our union with God. Our soul is meant to be united with God. It’s been assaulted by fear and chaos. 3) Fill me with you, God. 17:27 – Prov 4:23 – Above everything guard your heart because out of your heart flows the wellspring of life. ….. “How your heart’s doing affects everything else in your life. If your heart’s not doing well, you don’t love very well, if your heart’s not doing well you don’t have a lot of dreams. It is the epicenter.” 18:38 – “We are reaping the fruit of a lot of human brokenness generationally….Many kids are growing up either without a dad present, or without a present dad. He might be taken home, but he’s so taken out himself.” 18:58 – Carl Jung – “The greatest psychological impact of a parent on a child is the unlived life of the parent….. If you’re taken out, it’s really hard to chase after the hearts of your kids.” 19:27 – Parent for behavior vs. Parent for the heart 19:51 – “I am in a world at war. The fight is for the heart. Not only mine but everybody else’s.” 20:15 – Fathered by God by John Eldredge 20:42 – Gender identity is bestowed by the father. 21:09 – Both the little boy and little girl look to the father to answer their core questions. Boys – Do I have what it takes? Girls – Do you delight in me? Will anyone fight for me? 21: 30 – “God steps in to say, ‘Look, I can still Father you. I can take you on the journey of maturation. You need to know you’re a beloved son, you need to know that you’re a delighted daughter first.’” 22:45 – God takes us through stages to the place where he can entrust us with kingdoms and influence (a family, education, money, etc). Guys blow up their world because inside they stay in adolescence. 23:48 – John Eldredge podcast –  Ransomed heart podcast 25:20 – Listening prayer – asking God to Father us in the live moments – “what do I do with this? Help me.” 25:53 – A story of a painful moment in parenting. Maintain communication – don’t sever lines of communication. You won’t get a lot solved in this moment, but you could do a lot of damage. 26:41 – God rescues in the live moment 27:05 – How can we move toward hearing God’s voice in that moment? Know that you can (hear his voice). John 10 – My sheep hear my voice. Heb 3 – Today if you hear his voice Rev 3 – Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears my voice…. 28:15 – Don’t try to hear the voice of God for the first time when it’s high drama. Start with really small questions when your heart is quiet. 30:00 – If your inner life is locked up, and shut down in fear and hurt, it is harder to hear. God is super merciful and he’ll speak anyways, but the [it will be more clear the] more that we can cultivate the care of the heart and healing of things that need healing in us. 30:54 –  “If your soul is dried out like the desert, God is trying to give you himself, he’s trying to pour out the love, the mercy, the words, but when the rain storms come in the desert, it can’t receive the rain because it’s just so baked.” 31:49 – “As you begin to unplug from technology and as you begin to recover an actual human life back, you will find it easier to hear from God.” 32:34 – “One of the keys to life is this: The way you treat your own heart is the way you will end up treating everyone else’s.” 32:55 – “If you are a perfectionist, your kids will feel the pressure to be perfect. If you are a person who wrestles with shame, they are going to experience that shame.” 33:31 – A dad fail. 35:30 – What you would tell your younger self – “You boys need to know you love them, and make that your top priority. You’re going to mess it up, everybody does…but love heals……If your kids know “My dad adores me” then a lot of the failure stuff kind of bounces off. It really does.” 37:15 – Prayer for our families – dadAWESOME Episode 102 37:36 – John Eldredge final prayer over fathers. Links Get Your Life Back book John’s website John’s podcast One Minute Pause App Instagram Twitter Facebook Video Podcast: https://bit.ly/DAeldredge2   Links from dadAWESOME: https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/  
undefined
Apr 28, 2022 • 42min

223 | The Tech-Wise Family (Andy Crouch REPLAY)

“I think that our best moments as families, our best moments as parents but also kids’ best moments, are when we are given the capacity for meaningful action in some way. That is, we have some ability to have something matter that we do, AND we are exposed to meaningful risk – that is, it could go wrong and we could lose something.”   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Andy Crouch   Andy Crouch is partner for theology and culture at Praxis, an organization that works as a creative engine for redemptive entrepreneurship. His writing explores faith, culture, and the image of God in the domains of technology, power, leadership, and the arts. He is the author of five books (plus another with his daughter, Amy Crouch): The Life We're Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World (forthcoming from Convergent in April 2022), The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place, Strong and Weak: Embracing a Life of Love, Risk and True Flourishing, Playing God: Redeeming the Gift of Power, and Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling. Andy serves on the governing boards of Fuller Theological Seminary and InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. He also serves as an advisor to The Repentance Project, The Pelican Project, and Revoice. For more than ten years he was an editor and producer at Christianity Today, including serving as executive editor from 2012 to 2016. He served the John Templeton Foundation in 2017 as senior strategist for communication. His work and writing have been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Time, and several editions of Best Christian Writing and Best Spiritual Writing—and, most importantly, received a shout-out in Lecrae's 2014 single "Non-Fiction." From 1998 to 2003, Andy was the editor-in-chief of re:generation quarterly, a magazine for an emerging generation of culturally creative Christians. For ten years he was a campus minister with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Harvard University. He studied classics at Cornell University and received an M.Div. summa cum laude from Boston University School of Theology. A classically trained musician who draws on pop, folk, rock, jazz, and gospel, he has led musical worship for congregations of 5 to 20,000. He lives with his family in Pennsylvania.   Ministry Shout Out!   Intentional - https://www.intentionalparents.org/ "Intentional exists to equip people throughout the world in their desire to become passionate Jesus followers to pass on who they become through their own life, leadership, marriage, parenting, and family for generations to come" The Intentional Film Series -- For quite some time it has been the dream of the Intentional Parents team to be able to invite anyone and everyone to learn how to raise the next generation of passionate Jesus followers. Though none of us claim to know it all— not even close!— this message has been the heartbeat of Phil and Diane’s calling for over four decades. Starting with very little understanding of how to pass a vibrant, compelling faith on to their children, they’ve now spent the better part of their lives listening, learning, researching, studying, and practicing what they teach in this series. https://www.intentionalparents.org/film-series   Show Notes:   2:59 – Introduction to Andy’s family 5:03 – What are some of the components that lead to a family that is flourishing? Authority Vulnerability Discussing parenting literature about parenting with a balance of warmth and firmness. 6:54 – The authority and vulnerability paradox. Authority – capacity for meaningful action, the ability to do something and have it really matter in the world. Vulnerability is exposure to meaningful risk. 7:17 – “I think that our best moments as families, our best moments as parents but also kids’ best moments, are when we are given the capacity for meaningful action in some way. That is, we have some ability to have something matter that we do, AND we are exposed to meaningful risk – that is, it could go wrong and we could lose something.” 9:27 – Discussing the process of writing a book with his daughter. 11:45 – “Before they hit [adolescence], they’re transparent in a way [that] we know what they’re feeling, we know what they’re thinking, and we usually know why. But then there’s this important thing that happens in adolescence which is detaching from that transparency, in a way. Hopefully without secrets.” 12:20 – Jeff’s perspective on the book: (1) Andy continually pointed his daughter back to scripture. (2) It wasn’t just about technology, it was about connecting with his daughter’s heart. 14:08 – “The reality is tech is about the heart because so much of our relationships now are mediated and…especially as your kids hit adolescence… you really have to pay attention to the way that technology, and really specifically media, shrink the channel for relationship.” 16:02 – “The first way in which this is really about the heart, is our heart is ultimately about Who knows me? Who loves me? Am I known by someone and does that person once they know me, do they love me? Do they still love me… once someone really sees who I am? And you know the biggest way tech fails is on on question number one: Does anyone know me?” 17:19 – “So many of our relationships get channeled through these media that really are not sufficient for deep real relationship, and we really have to pay attention as our kids get older as to how we help them navigate that.” 17:43 – Phrase from Tech-Wise Family:  Technology makes things “easy everywhere.” 18:50 – “There are good things about this (easy everywhere), but they aren’t good for our heart because we don’t grow when things are easy.” 19:57 – “So much of our lives has become so easy, and easy is always an option, that we never actually experience what it’s like to grow through difficulty, to grow through adversity. And yet, that’s what actually makes us into the kind of people who can have deep relationships and who have… hearts to offer the world.” 21:15  – Being creators versus consumers. 21:45 – “I believe this goes all the way down to who we are in the image of god and that we are meant to cultivate and create in the world that’s our that is our purpose as human beings and representing the one who created the whole world.” 22:13 – Connection between consumer culture and the story of the garden of Eden. 23:20 – “And the message that we all get now is you’re defined by what you consume rather than defined by what you create.” 24:35 – Coaching from Andy around family rhythms and developing a “creating” culture in our homes and with our kids. 24:45 – Definition of Culture – patterns that reflect underlying values. The strongest cultural patterns are those that everybody does. Build your culture and things you all do together. 28:07 – Build a culture on rhythms of use and non-use and a rhythm of work and rest – Sabbath. 29:07 – Screens disrupt sleep and screens allow secrets. 30:53 – How he set up his house to facilitate the family culture 32:15 – “How you design your space makes a big difference about what are you inclined to do together? Will you turn something on and start consuming or do you actually pick something up and start creating?” 33:24 – Hope and encouragement for the dad who feels like he’s messed up. “You are not going to get through this without the two elements of trust: Rupture and Repair. 35:45 – “You have got to realize that a limitless world is terrible for human beings and so you have to be willing as the authority in the home to re-establish limits that may never have had.” 38:55 – Andy’s prayer for dads.   Links from Andy Crouch:   andy-crouch.com Andy’s Podcast My Tech-Wise Life: Growing Up and Making Choices in a World of Devices The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place Strong and Weak: Embracing a Life of Love, Risk and True Flourishing Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling   Links from dadAWESOME   https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/  
undefined
Apr 21, 2022 • 37min

222 | Funny How Dad Life Works (Michael Jr. REPLAY)

"So you’re going to make some sort of mistakes. But fellas, I want you to know for sure you are absolutely dadAWESOME, because I got an awesome dad and I know I’m going to be an awesome dad because I’m a give it my all. Even if we’re going the wrong way, I’m going the wrong way all the way, because I’m doing it because I love my kids and they’re going to know that.”   dadAWESOME We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Michael Jr. Known as one of today’s most gifted comedians, Michael Jr. brings laughter and understanding to audiences all over the world. Michael got his start performing at the legendary Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach: home of Jay Leno and “The Tonight Show.” This outstanding performance led to Michael Jr. performing at the “Just for Laughs” comedy festival in Montreal where he became the first comedian to ever appear live via satellite on “The Tonight Show” which catapulted Michael’s career. Now, Michael Jr. tours the country using comedy to inspire audiences to activate their purpose and live a life fulfilled. His impactful delivery and versatility has landed him on The Tonight Show, The Late, Late Show, Oprah, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Comedy Central, TedX Talks and a keynote for Fortune 500 companies. Michael has spent a significant portion of his career making laughter commonplace in uncommon places such as homeless shelters and prisons, in addition to empowering his audiences with an appearance in Sony Pictures' feature film War Room as well as a starring roles in Selfie Dad, and MORE THAN FUNNY. On the home front, Michael is happily married. He and his wife are the proud parents of five beautiful children.   Ministry Shout Out! VENTURE - https://venture.org/ JUSTICE FOR THE UNREACHED -- We spend our greatest energies to address the world's greatest injustices, including human trafficking, refugee crises, and extreme poverty. We intentionally target areas with less than 2% Gospel Witness, and that receive less than 1% of all Christian Giving. The Global Partner for FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS https://f4f.bike/   Show Notes: 4:45 –  “I have five kids and I have…five extra kids. And what I mean by that is there’s a there’s being a dad and there’s also being a dad like one, because around us there’s always some kids who don’t have a father figure in their life at all.” 5:55 – “The greatest name I’ve ever been called is DAD…I just I think there’s a lot of guys who are missing out on some great opportunities in life… the cool part is, is even where our dads lack, God completely picks up plus some…” 7:39 – Funny How Life Works book 9:36 – “There’s going to be times where things seem rough. You don’t know what to do as a dad. You’re struggling. But just the fact that you’re there, just the fact that you’re present is awesome. But in those times when things are getting hard, the key thing to do is to be still and listen to the Father’s voice because he is talking to you. And what he wants you to know is that he’s right here. He loves you. All you have to do is open your eyes.” 11:17 – “Correct but don’t reject.” 12:43 – “Telling his kids after discipline:  “I just do not like disciplining you. But it is a requirement. It’s what I’m called to do. Otherwise you won’t be prepared for when life tries to discipline you.” 16:14- Addressing the “hecklers” in our lives – often our own negative self-talk.  “You have to address the heckler and use scripture to chase the heckler away.” 17:05 – On stepping out of being amatuer as a dad. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, which means you must be ready for it….He is the greatest dad ever. And he looked at you and said, you know what? You’re ready. 17:43 – The impact of his dad apologizing to him. “I remember him apologizing to me and I and I don’t know if he was human before that. Like that’s when he was most human when he apologized… “ 18:11 – Tips for having important, hard conversations with your kids. 20:12 – Quote from Funny How Life Works: “Looking back, I now realize that many of the things I resented or found annoying about my earthly father are the very things that allowed me to open the gifts my Heavenly Father had deposited in me.  23:46 – “So you’re going to make some sort of mistakes. But fellas, I want you to know for sure you are absolutely dadAWESOME, because I got an awesome dad and I know I’m going to be an awesome dad because I’m a give it my all. Even if we’re going the wrong way, I’m going the wrong way all the way, because I’m doing it because I love my kids and they’re going to know that.” 24:55 – The way comedy works is there’s a set up and there’s a punchline. Right? The setup is when a comedian makes you think in one direction. What a punch line is when you change that direction in a way you’re not expecting. The results are revelation, fulfillment and joy expressed through laughter. In life, it’s the same way. 33:49 – So by all means, look for those opportunities to speak into somebody’s life. That base that you got. You got that base for a reason. Some kids need to hear that coming from five feet above them, or a foot above them. Or eye to eye contact or maybe even looking up to them. Just speak into their life. Links from Michael Jr. https://michaeljr.com/ https://michaeljr.com/michaeljr Funny How Life Works Book   Links from dadAWESOME: https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/  
undefined
Apr 14, 2022 • 32min

221 | The Love of a Father (Pierre du Plessis REPLAY)

You can’t take out a pair of pliers and change wires and go, there you go, I told you, this is how we can fix you. We’ve got to cultivate what we want, and I think part of us as people looking back at our lives, I think if we don’t get over ourselves early enough, then we take up all the energy to fix ourselves and we ignore to sow what we want in our children. It’s amazing when the kid starts drifting, and you no longer have the reach and control you think you have.   dadAWESOME   We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to God’s awesomeness.  | YouTube |  Instagram | Facebook   Pierre du Plessis   Born in Johannesburg, South Africa, Pierre du Plessis and his family relocated in 1999 to pastor The Father’s House, a multi-cultural, multi-generational, and multi-site church located in Rochester, NY. Pierre is known for his unique ability to bring the Bible to life using vivid illustrations mixed with humor and practical life application. He is passionate about mentoring & equipping leaders, engaging all generations and encouraging people to experience God. He is married to his best friend and partner in ministry, Marlize and they have two young adult children, Chloe and Caleb.   Ministry Shout Out! Harbor Ministries - https://harborministries.com/ GOD IS ALL ABOUT DISRUPTION. So we followed His lead. We set out to wake leaders up and shake them free of crushing expectations, ineffective habits, and treacherous coping mechanisms. It couldn’t be another course, conference, or retreat. It had to be a connection. An intimate experience. An ongoing support network. A band of brothers. It had to be a harbor. Since 2009, Harbor Ministries has journeyed with 25+ different RHYTHMinTWENTY or Rogue groups. These leaders come from 40+ different states. These leaders have refused to settle and have rebelled against the idea that impact required them to sacrifice their health, their sanity, their families, or their souls. They are discovering how to live with a rhythm that will allow them to leave a legacy and finish well. And along the way they are impacting hundreds of churches and organizations, and tens of thousands of people. AND THE WAVES THAT ARE CHANGING THE LEADERSHIP NARRATIVE HAVE JUST BEGUN. April 23rd - National Day of SPACE Space Podcast - https://harborministries.com/space/   Show Transcript:   On behalf of all our guests, welcome to the show.  Thank you so much. This is just a privilege to learn from you. So you’re in Rochester, New York, but originally from South Africa, is that correct?  That’s right. Yes, we’ve been here now 20 years in Rochester.  Two decades and you lead as the lead pastor of The Father’s House in Rochester, NY. Will you help our listeners get to know you a little bit, Pastor Pierre, and talk about your wife, your family, your kids, and a little bit of what you’re up to for leadership in ministry.  Yes, so as you already mentioned, I come from South Africa. Born, and my family, everybody they come from a deep line of ministry. If I say ministry I think to put the context of ministry, it’s a Pentecostal, conservative Pentecostal home that deeply loved Jesus and believed in prayer. Those are the good things. So many other things that roll from it, right? But it’s all good. When I was about 33, we came to the U.S. It was not a straight narrative, there’s so much to it, and I think some of that is learning that getting to where God wants you may take some U-Turns and loops, it’s not always a straight line. We came when my kids were still small. I’ve got two kids. My daughter Chloe is the oldest. She was I think about a year and a half and my son was close to eight months when we came over, Caleb. My wife, Marlize comes from a great house too. South Africa is interesting, because you have so many cultures wrapped together in a very small land space. I come from a very very Afrikaans Dutch family. My wife, same country, she comes from an English family. So, different culture, different vibe. I like the English people, they’re just laid back. Coming to her was like coming home for me, it’s just the vibe, the culture, her as a person. Coming to Rochester, NY, I came as the creative arts and worship Pastor of a small church here in Rochester. About two years into this, we had the opportunity to start leading the church, and the rest is history. It has been a phenomenal, phenomenal ride, and we are so thankful that God pointed to us and called us over.  That’s amazing, and I know partially from my Lead Pastor, Pastor Peter Haas, and him talking about you, and even some of the leadership you do globally, even beyond, way beyond Rochester, New York, so thank you for all the areas you’re leading in, but let’s talk about leadership at home for a second. How old are your kids now? Are they out of the house now?  I hope they’ll never leave the house. You know, the fun thing is that my kids are, my daughter I think is 24 right now, my son, almost 22. Right about then I know some of the people are now reverse engineering their ages, I’ll go, I’m always off with ages and with stages. They are just amazing, amazing kids, because all kids do not come packaged the same, so I don’t think looking at our kids and how they’re turning out is always a reflection of how we got it right. I think, when I look at my kids, The Lord was very kind to us because these two young adults are phenomenal human beings, and I know the seed that’s been sown over the years has been consistent. They are still living at home. When it was time for them to leave, I said to my wife, “I’m not ready. I’m going to buy a house that they will never want to leave.” And I did. I did. But now my son talks about leaving, and I applaud that, because that’s what he wants to do. We are a close family, we like each other a lot, we do.  That’s what we all pray for, that closeness and a love to be together. Now, you mentioned sowing seeds. Just sowing seeds, I think you said consistency. Can you talk about, maybe if you had to prioritize a few areas of sowing seeds, and just consistent fatherhood to us young dads listening, what are some of the areas that you’re like, “I would put extra focus there?” I think the tough thing is that both you and I have seen, and we see it in other people, but we ignore it in ourselves. By the time the seed comes up and you don’t like what’s on the land, you want to do a blitz of stripping it down, re-planting, and expecting a new result in about five days, otherwise I’m going to send you to a therapist. We want to change the harvest quickly, but we don’t understand that it takes a long time to get the seed in. If you don’t like what you see, it takes a long time to cultivate it, because I always say this to our team and to our church, “No human heart is mechanical, it’s organic.” You can’t take out a pair of pliers and change wires and go, there you go, I told you, this is how we can fix you. We’ve got to cultivate what we want, and I think part of us as people looking back at our lives, I think if we don’t get over ourselves early enough, then we take up all the energy to fix ourselves and we ignore to sow what we want in our children. It’s amazing when the kid starts drifting, and you no longer have the reach and control you think you have. All of a sudden, you get over yourself really quickly, and you realize what’s at hand. I would say to young dads, Just get to your issues, deal with your issues. They will always be there, but it can’t be the main thing in your life. There’s no greater joy when you see the best of you and your spouse reflected in the character of Jesus showing up in front of you, because at least you know some of that miswiring and brokenness stopped with you, you didn’t pass it on to your children.   So you’re really saying, don’t focus on tactics externally, focus on God healing and bringing your stuff, so that it doesn’t get in the way and you don’t stay selfish. I appreciate that perspective. When you think back to, and because we named this show “dadAWESOME,” we have to talk about a not-so-awesome dad moment. Can you think of a story like that you’d be willing to share, and just an area where maybe you caused hurt or pain, or you did something you wish you could have back with your kids and maybe what you learned from that forward?  Oh my gosh, yeah. I’ve got a tender heart. I will cry for days sitting here because the fact of the matter is, we see these things too late. Right? But thank God we can see them and be mindful that there’s more of those things that are coming. I think one of the biggest things that I love to build things, do things. I’m always busy with my hands, always busy with my mind, I’m just wired that way. It is not a willful thing, it is just the way I am. So, my daughter was doing a school project, at the end of the school year when she was graduating, and she had to do a timeline narrative with family pictures to tell the story of her life, and she was sitting in the dining room area, and all the pictures and photo albums were on the table, and I looked at the pictures, and I became extremely sad. I was trying to wipe tears, and she’d be like, “Dad! You’re too old to cry. Old people cry at the snap of a hat, what is up with that?” and I go like, “Baby, you don’t understand, every one of these pictures, I can tell you what I was building, I can tell you what I was solving, I can tell you what I was confronting. I remember the pictures, but I was not in them all. I go like, “I can’t have it over. I was not present. There were other things more important and I think the reason why this is so sad for me is because I can never sit at the beach with a five year old building sandcastles again, recapturing the time. I would excuse myself and say I’ve got to go to the restroom to go on my phone to go capture something. I think it is like they say, “Youth is wasted on the young.” I think children are wasted on prudish parents that don’t understand that there is a lifetime to build things, once your kids go into their own orbit. There is a lifetime, there comes a day where you go like, “what are we doing?” They go like, “we know what we’re doing, I don’t know what you are doing.” But while they want to be with you, be present. You can bulk your kingdom of sandcastles when they’re out. For me, the biggest regret is not being present. That is my biggest regret.  Any coaching for us? Outside of just awareness, any coaching, whether it’s classic examples like dinners together, do you have any coaching tips for us on how to be more present?  Yeah, I think, first of all, to know and get feedback on what you think is normal. I was raised Dutch. Dutch is very caring, but not as emotionally warm as my wife’s family. So, in my family, the strangest thing is you would get a birthday card. You would never read it, because my parents bought it for the outside picture, not for the inside words. They never wrote inside the card but, “Mom and Dad.” That’s just Dutch. That’s the Afrikaans way. My wife’s family, when I went to the first Christmas, I didn’t open the card, and she was deeply offended, because for us, we get to the gift. I know who it’s coming from because I saw you give it to me. For me it was the label of who gave the gift. Oh my goodness, for them, it was nothing on the outside, everything was written on the inside. For us, we know we were loved, but we didn’t express it in a physical way. My wife’s family, they hug you to no end. They express love to no end. I had to choose what do I want my kids to experience? And because there was a feedback, because there was a moment, becoming extremely thoughtful in expressing love and words was a result of my wife holding up the picture of, “is this what you want?” She didn’t force me, I go like, “No. That’s why I married you, and I like this side of things.” So I think to know that is important, especially when it comes to girls, because to the extent that they are loved by their father, they will not become restless to go find it somewhere else. Because it is the father’s words that invokes beauty in the wife and in the daughter, and it’s the father’s strength and the father’s kindness and connection with the son that establishes his manhood, right? And I think that if we become paralyzed as men to express what the children need, I think we don’t understand what we are. The buckets are empty, and somebody’s going to fill it.  I know this is a deep passion of yours, and the name of your church that you lead, “The Father’s House.” The idea of the past passed down, the pass through from our Heavenly Father, out of us as fathers to our kids. Can you talk about that a little further?  The thing that we love about God is that He is unconditional in his love and unlimited, and uncompromising in His forgiveness. When we like that about him, we don’t find it as hard to give it through ourselves. I think part of being a parent sometimes has got to do with control. We want certain outcomes, and if we don’t, we know how to manipulate with silence, manipulate with certain things, how to get it. I think the most important thing is for the children, at least in my book, for my children to always know, no matter what you decide, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, I’m always on your side, even if I don’t agree with you, my arms are always open wide, even if I don’t like you in this moment. You will always have a landing place, and if you can find me first, I will defend you even if you are wrong. And then we will fix and go apologize. There is unconditional safety and love, no matter what happens, and that is hard. But there is a scripture that says, “It’s the kindness that leads us to repentance.” Because every time I’ve gone to God and I think I’m going to get a whooping, I find a scripture on love, and then I go like, “what the heck, this hurts more.” Because I thought I’m going to read some judgement over the shepherds right now, and then it’s kindness, and I think what brings our children home again and again and again, if they know if they’re going to get kindness at home. From kindness flows counsel, from kindness flows correction, but if they doubt that kindness, I think they’ll bypass us in time.  That resonates deep, and right now, with my three year old, it resonates deep, so I’m thankful for those words. When it comes to shiny eyes, I love to ask the question about moments of wonder, moments of, you could tell your kids were living life fully. Can you think of any stories or moments for your kids, it could be a while ago, it doesn’t have to be right now, but things that inspired shiny eyes from your kids?  Oh, you know, the thing that is so innate with children is those shiny eyes. Oh, and we bank that those shiny eyes are going to be with us forever, and they aren’t with us forever, because we lose our shiny eyes, because life, and the reality of it all comes on us. But shiny eyes for me is a result of a carefree heart and spirit. Here’s something that is so great about my dad that I deeply love. He has lived from a place of peace as a default, not as an exception. I live from a place of peace as an exception. So if you go like, “How many times this week did you have peace?” I would go like, “Twice, for 40 minutes.” Right? It’s a gift that complete place of peace. My dad’s not like this. He believes that scripture says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but through prayer and supplication make your requests. Then the God of peace,” He says, the God of peace is when you pray and you live from this place. I cannot tell you how many times he would sit at the table and eat, and he would just be burdened, and all of a sudden, he says, “I’ve just got to go pray through this, because my peace is gone.” And for me, the default of the shiny eyes is when we can have a homestead, if I can call it that, that has the bliss of life, the unfettered, and just, If I could call it, I don’t think it’s the right word, but it’s a lust for life. If we know how to leave things on the outside that always challenge us, we don’t process the hard things on the inside, our castle is safe. In here we laugh, in here the goodness of God will carry us because I think, if we can protect that environment, I think that keeps the eyes alert. The wonder of life and spontaneity. I love it, and never more than right now. It’s March 18th, today while we’re recording this. I was just reflecting today with my brother, we’re both young dads. In my years of being a dad, for sure, or my entire marriage, 14 years, I haven’t walked through a week like this week, where peace is threatened. It just feels like the peace is threatened in so many ways. Now it’s my role as a husband and as a father to be a peace bringer, a peace maker. So, could you just talk straight to me, how would you coach me this week?  So, here is the thing that is quite interesting. We live in a time where what you just said could be very offensive, because role identification is really complicated. But, you’re talking to somebody that absolutely believes that God has assigned roles to us. When I say role, it’s responsibility. How that role manifests I’m not going to get into, because that’s where it can get all sticky. But there is a responsibility, I think, of a man. In the middle of the night, there is a sound in the basement, and you know you’ve got to protect the family. This is just me. If you put the bat in your wife’s hand, you’re like, “Honey, go get ’em.” Right? If I’m your honey, I’ll whoop you in the bed, then I’ll call the police, and then, I’ll have to find another honey here, because there is a moment here where a guy just needs to step up. But I think there are more than just the protection of the family when it comes to physical danger that guys need to step up. I think all the time in our culture, the role of the man has been diminished. It’s unsure, uncertain, and I opened a door recently to a woman, and she was offended that I would think that she doesn’t know how to open a door for herself. Now, in the culture I come from, it is the highest honor for a man to stand when a woman comes in to a room. You always open a door. When they carry something, you say, “Can I help?” Not, “You’re weak.” I honor your presence because you’re a life giver to this universe. It’s a different thing, and I think for guys in this season, first of all, I would say don’t process where kids can hear. Because, they have no way to know what is processing and what is fact, what is doom, what is the end of the world. I think secondly, be careful what plays in your home. Ultimately they hear what you don’t think they hear. I would limit what comes into the home. I would create joy in the house, and every time I speak of the future, I would speak with absolute optimism that God is with us, He has got the whole world in His hand, we are sleeping in peace tonight, we’re going to be careful. As a husband and wife, especially as a husband, we lead our wives with certainty and reassurance, and we can’t fake that, because there is a firm confidence that comes from a man who’s talked to God. A firm confidence. When scripture is embedded in our souls. I say to people on Sunday, “Faith is not a product of positive thinking, Faith is a product of scripture that has been embedded in your soul. The way you do it is open the book and read it. Don’t say, “I don’t understand scripture.” But you’re fixing your car. If you can fix your car, you can read scripture. Just read it, because what it will do to you creates a firm foundation in the home that your family can lean into your strength, emotional, physical, and spiritual strength so that the house can be buoyant in the midst of what we believe could be longer than just two weeks.  That’s helpful, and just last night, I was reading with my life this idea that trust, you don’t trust a stranger, you trust someone that you know. So if we want to grow our trust in our Heavenly Father, we’ve got to be more than ever in His word, getting to know Him, spending time with Him in prayer. So that’s driven us in that direction, this is time for game on, higher levels of trust. So let’s get closer to our Heavenly Father.  You know Jeff, if I could interrupt, I think if there is ever a time where dads just need to tuck their kids in and lie on the bed and do shadow puppets, it is now. I think their hearts open when the lights are dim. I think the conversation will become heartfelt when you’re just lying on the bed with them and just talk, just have fun with them, but 1-on-1 because family meetings is one thing, but they will never be vulnerable unless you create that time. It’s not an interrogation time, it is proximity time. So I think if there’s ever tucking in and spending time every night in proximity, it’s now That’s good. If I took a road trip out to Rochester, I drive myself out there and I sit at a great coffee shop with yourself, Pastor Pierre, and a couple other young dads, and you just had a couple moments to just drop some more priorities to us as young dads. We’re sitting around that good cup of coffee, is there anything we haven’t talked about yet that you’re like, “I would want to pass this along.” Not that you’ve got it perfect, but what kind of things would you say, “These are priorities?”  The power of your shadow is undeniable. You and I are both a product of the shadow we grew up in. Both of us. The very thing you said, I will never, you will see it in the mirror, and so will I. We don’t like it, but it’s there. The power of the shadow is very potent. A shadow is a reflection, not a projection. You can’t project a shadow. You reflect it. Who you are is what you reflect. I would say, use the power of your shadow to be life giving to your children. If your marriage is not working, nothing else matters. If your kids are drifting, and things are not well with them, nothing else matters. I would look every young dad, including myself, in the eye and say, “Get over yourself. You can’t say, ‘Fix me then.’ you shouldn’t have had kids, shouldn’t have married, if that’s what you’re thinking. We will forever be under construction. When you begin to realize that there’s no do-overs, you won’t have two and a half again, ever. What you invest in the two and a half is so critical to the harvest that’s showing up on the field. I believe that scripture says, “The children of the righteous shall be mighty on the Earth.” More than ever, we need a mighty lineage, a mighty legacy. Not to point back to us, but for the reflection of Jesus Christ on this planet. So I would say make them your highest priority.  Well, I would love to invite you to pray over us those exact themes, and this idea that we could be dads that are truly bringing life to our families. And the prayers around peace, and our homes being places of shiny eyes. So would you pray that prayer over all of us?  Absolutely. Father, I thank you that the eye of the Lord is on the righteous, and his ear is constantly leaning into our cry and our prayer. You are mindful of the season and the time we are in. You are mindful of the frailty of our human hearts. You are mindful of every dad. You are mindful of the concerns for the future, the weight of finance, the weight and concern of the well being and the health of our own families. And even the world that we are living in. But Father, I thank you that as the Spirit of the Living God rushed in on Sampson, as the spirit of God rushed in on your children to empower them, I pray that a surge of courage, hope, laughter, peace, will come into every heart and in every home. Father, that every father would just have a jolt of the reality that God is with us, God is for us, God will see us through, and that we can be the living expression of the invisible God to our children. Father, fill every man with wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, sensitivity of heart, that they will be in touch with the promptings of Heaven over their wives and over their children and over their neighborhoods. God, I thank you, that in our weakness, you are strong. Weakness has never been a problem for you, but God, just remove the fog so that we can lean into you, see you, and be the very conduits of your presence displayed through our lives. Father, thank you, thank you that we know that you have a vested interest in every man’s heart. As they are creating this shadow in which things will grow in to magnificence or things will fade. Help us to be mindful to build life into our shadows, oh God, that whoever passes in or through it will leave from it empowered, validated, encouraged, and blessed. Thank you Father for your protection over us as people, and this nation, and this world. We will see the hand of God move many many many people in this season turn their hearts towards you, oh God. Including our homes, may we come in unity. Father, where marriages are struggling, I pray that you turn the hearts of the husbands back to their wives, and the hearts of the wives back to their husbands. That you would soften, for I declare your word says, “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown.” Jesus, let the storm in the midst it of it let peace reign. In Jesus’ powerful name. Amen.    Links from Pierre du Plessis: The Father’s House   Links from dadAWESOME: https://dadawesome.org/life/ Make a Donation to dadAWESOME Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team https://dadawesome.org/tour/

The AI-powered Podcast Player

Save insights by tapping your headphones, chat with episodes, discover the best highlights - and more!
App store bannerPlay store banner
Get the app