Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
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Jul 1, 2024 • 40min

60 | The High Cost of Freedom in a Sexually Betrayed Marriage

Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy.   Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, confusion, shame, and pain? Do you long for freedom from your current circumstance?    In today’s show, we will discuss how freedom to live in a new and intimate marriage can come at a high cost. Are you willing to pay it?   So, grab yourself a summertime drink, like a cool Mint Julep, and listen in for a compelling look at the importance of gaining freedom in your marriage and how to maintain it.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                        RELATED EPISODES: Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 59. Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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Jun 24, 2024 • 37min

59 | Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery

The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward?   Today we are going to answer those questions from our own perspective. Spoiler alert, we did make the choice to stay married and we are so glad we did! Even though it has been the hardest and most painful journey we have ever embarked on, it has been worth it to experience the safety, trust and true intimacy created out of the ashes of a marriage destroyed by porn-fueled infidelity.   We are going to outline 5 steps that will help you receive healing from your trauma and save your marriage. Please stay with us to the end of this episode for a special limited opportunity.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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Jun 17, 2024 • 30min

58 | Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?

Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?”   When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage to bring hope and healing. A little further down the road on this journey, you might see how much God has blessed you and wonder why others in this situation can’t seem to recover.   Today we will answer those questions and possibly give you a bigger vision of God’s greater purpose in our suffering. Grab a beverage and join us for a hopeful conversation.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe (https://bit.ly/4iSVqiE)   RESOURCES: Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n_1qVxNuLE0vOdSehaYmQEMvq2UNQPyF/view?usp=sharing Covenant Eyes (https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/bbv) Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal Episode 24. Would You Marry Your Betraying Spouse Again? Renewing Vows After Porn-Fueled Infidelity. This Time...Mean It Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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Jun 10, 2024 • 38min

57 | Alone No More: How Isolation Fuels Sex-Addiction and How to Defeat It

What is isolation, and where does it truly begin?   Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes and traps of our Enemy who is actively looking to devour us. (1 peter 5:8)   In isolation, destructive and addictive behaviors often take root, dragging us deeper into darkness. But there's hope! How can we break free from the chains of isolation and reclaim our lives?   Grab your favorite drink and join us for this compelling discussion about the perils of isolation and the practical steps to emerge from its oppressive grip. Together, we'll explore how to reconnect, rebuild, and thrive once again.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction? Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction        NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Please leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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Jun 3, 2024 • 23min

56 | Identifying Sex Addiction: Take the First Step Today

As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me.   But I didn’t always understand that I truly was a sex-addict. It wasn’t until the idea was expressed to me by someone else that I made the choice to face the reality that sex-addiction could be a present and active part of my life. Having accepted this as a possibility, I sought out help for myself and ultimately found recovery from sex-addiction through a 12-step program.   In today’s show, we’re going to share some resources to help you discover for yourself if sex-addiction is the destructive force lurking in the darkness of your mind. If so, there is a way out!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage strategies, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 16. "It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work? Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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May 27, 2024 • 25min

55 | Our Podcast is One Year Old!!! Marriages Redeemed, Hearts Renewed

Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life?  Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken that leap, have you experienced God's faithfulness along the way?   Well, we certainly have, and today we want to share our journey with you. It's a story of moving from betrayal and brokenness to healing and hope that has God’s fingerprints all over it. The twists and turns have been surprising, and we are continually in awe at the Lord’s provision every step of the way.   Our podcast is one year old today, and you are a huge reason for it. So, grab a refreshing drink and join us as we recount how we got here, where we are now, and the future ahead with God leading the way. Let’s celebrate together!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: The Healing Apology – Episode #10 (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology     Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 50. Are You Thriving or Just Surviving in Marriage After Sexual Betrayal   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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May 20, 2024 • 36min

54 | Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?

Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity.   Today, we are going to outline some perceived perks received by the husband stemming from extra-marital relationships and contrast them with losses his wife experiences due to his betrayal. We’ll also address a question from one of our Beyond Broken Vows Insiders as she wonders, “Are there truly any significant losses for the betrayer and if so, what are they?” You may find that you identify with some of these “perks” and/or losses from your own experience with sexual betrayal.   So, get comfy and settle in for a deeply personal conversation about loss, but also the hope we have in Christ in the midst of pain and injustice.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal       NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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May 13, 2024 • 27min

53 | 4 Ways To Help a Friend Experiencing Sexual Betrayal

One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming!   Today we will discuss two different types of friends in this scenario and the best way for each of them to help a friend going through this difficult journey.   So, grab a refreshing beverage and join us as we unpack what it looks like to be a good friend.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                         RELATED EPISODES: Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal       NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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May 6, 2024 • 33min

52 | What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?

After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth.    Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy. We’re excited to share our perspective on this topic as we have lived it and learned from it. So pop in your earbud and join us for a riveting conversation about BIG emotions.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                        RELATED EPISODES: Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    
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Apr 29, 2024 • 33min

51 | Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal

My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it?   My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it?   Would you both be willing to do all it takes to reveal and know the truth?   Join us today as we give an overview of a very effective process that can give a marriage broken by sexual betrayal a really good chance for healing and recovery.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES: The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com) Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only) (This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)                        RELATED EPISODES: Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1) Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2) Episode 32. Recovery Step 5: What Have I Done? Admitting How My Porn Addiction Hurt Myself and Others         NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.    

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