

Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast***
Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Dear Betrayed,
Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had?
Dear Betrayer,
Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and you would lose everything if/when you came clean?
Beloved, do you both feel like your marriage is over?
Well, you’re right. That marriage full of secrets and lies IS over. But now there is hope for an honest and transparent marriage - one full of trust, safety, connection, forgiveness, acceptance, and intimacy that you’ve never known before. Bold statement, right? You may be thinking, “No way!” That’s okay. We understand…
Hi, we are Johnny and Emily Spigelmire and we have been where you are...
As a result of adultery fueled by pornography, the marriage vows we had exchanged as starry-eyed newlyweds and had worked so hard to keep were eventually shattered. We’ve been through hell and back. But we are here, together, to let you know that this devastation we experienced was actually a gift.
Of course, we didn’t see it that way at first and you probably don’t either. But, through a commitment to recovery, our faith in God, and our hope for redemption, we set out on a journey of healing, and we can’t wait to share what we’ve learned with you. We now have a marriage that continually blows our minds, and we give God all the glory!
So, if you’re ready to move from heartbreak and pain to hope and healing, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us on a journey of faith as we talk through difficult questions like;
Is there hope for our marriage?
Can I fix all the damage I’ve done?
Can I ever trust again?
Is true intimacy even possible?
We will also do deep dives into the topics of:
* Isolation
* Guilt and Shame
* Anger
* Rejection
* Addiction
* Trauma
* Body Image
* Triggers
* Communication
* And more…
Our story, like yours, is a messy one. But, with God’s help, it is possible to recover what was lost, stolen, or given away. We know this because God has turned the ashes of our lives into something beautiful and we believe he can do that for you too.
You can connect with us at:
support@beyondbrokenvows.com
https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com/
https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com/
We would love to be part of your journey to healing and wholeness!
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 1, 2024 • 40min
60 | The High Cost of Freedom in a Sexually Betrayed Marriage
Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy.
Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, confusion, shame, and pain? Do you long for freedom from your current circumstance?
In today’s show, we will discuss how freedom to live in a new and intimate marriage can come at a high cost. Are you willing to pay it?
So, grab yourself a summertime drink, like a cool Mint Julep, and listen in for a compelling look at the importance of gaining freedom in your marriage and how to maintain it.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 59. Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Jun 24, 2024 • 37min
59 | Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery
The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward?
Today we are going to answer those questions from our own perspective. Spoiler alert, we did make the choice to stay married and we are so glad we did! Even though it has been the hardest and most painful journey we have ever embarked on, it has been worth it to experience the safety, trust and true intimacy created out of the ashes of a marriage destroyed by porn-fueled infidelity.
We are going to outline 5 steps that will help you receive healing from your trauma and save your marriage. Please stay with us to the end of this episode for a special limited opportunity.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book a free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Jun 17, 2024 • 30min
58 | Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?”
When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage to bring hope and healing. A little further down the road on this journey, you might see how much God has blessed you and wonder why others in this situation can’t seem to recover.
Today we will answer those questions and possibly give you a bigger vision of God’s greater purpose in our suffering. Grab a beverage and join us for a hopeful conversation.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! https://coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, https://beyondbrokenvows.com/partner
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! https://insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe (https://bit.ly/4iSVqiE)
RESOURCES:
Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n_1qVxNuLE0vOdSehaYmQEMvq2UNQPyF/view?usp=sharing
Covenant Eyes (https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/bbv) Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 05. The Effects of Infidelity and How We Made the Decision to Stay Married After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 24. Would You Marry Your Betraying Spouse Again? Renewing Vows After Porn-Fueled Infidelity. This Time...Mean It
Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Jun 10, 2024 • 38min
57 | Alone No More: How Isolation Fuels Sex-Addiction and How to Defeat It
What is isolation, and where does it truly begin?
Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes and traps of our Enemy who is actively looking to devour us. (1 peter 5:8)
In isolation, destructive and addictive behaviors often take root, dragging us deeper into darkness. But there's hope! How can we break free from the chains of isolation and reclaim our lives?
Grab your favorite drink and join us for this compelling discussion about the perils of isolation and the practical steps to emerge from its oppressive grip. Together, we'll explore how to reconnect, rebuild, and thrive once again.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter to book free Discovery Call in June. insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 18. Feeling Like I’m Not Enough. What If Pornography Is Not My True Addiction?
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
Episode 42. Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Please leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Jun 3, 2024 • 23min
56 | Identifying Sex Addiction: Take the First Step Today
As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me.
But I didn’t always understand that I truly was a sex-addict. It wasn’t until the idea was expressed to me by someone else that I made the choice to face the reality that sex-addiction could be a present and active part of my life. Having accepted this as a possibility, I sought out help for myself and ultimately found recovery from sex-addiction through a 12-step program.
In today’s show, we’re going to share some resources to help you discover for yourself if sex-addiction is the destructive force lurking in the darkness of your mind. If so, there is a way out!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage strategies, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
Sex Addict Self-Assessment Questionnaire
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.d
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 16. "It’s Just Porn, What’s The Big Deal?” And 4 Other Lies We Tell Ourselves To Justify Viewing Pornography
Episode 17. Is My Spouse A Porn Addict? 13 Clues To Help Expose Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Episode 25. Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?
Episode 26. Recovery Step 1: Hooked on Porn? Admitting Helplessness Over Pornography’s Pull
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

May 27, 2024 • 25min
55 | Our Podcast is One Year Old!!! Marriages Redeemed, Hearts Renewed
Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life? Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken that leap, have you experienced God's faithfulness along the way?
Well, we certainly have, and today we want to share our journey with you. It's a story of moving from betrayal and brokenness to healing and hope that has God’s fingerprints all over it. The twists and turns have been surprising, and we are continually in awe at the Lord’s provision every step of the way.
Our podcast is one year old today, and you are a huge reason for it. So, grab a refreshing drink and join us as we recount how we got here, where we are now, and the future ahead with God leading the way. Let’s celebrate together!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology – Episode #10 (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 01. ”Why Are We Talking About Betrayal?” A Q&A with the Betrayed and the Betrayer
Episode 04. Sharing Our Story: From Infidelity and Addiction to Reconciliation and Recovery
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 50. Are You Thriving or Just Surviving in Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

May 20, 2024 • 36min
54 | Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?
Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity.
Today, we are going to outline some perceived perks received by the husband stemming from extra-marital relationships and contrast them with losses his wife experiences due to his betrayal. We’ll also address a question from one of our Beyond Broken Vows Insiders as she wonders, “Are there truly any significant losses for the betrayer and if so, what are they?” You may find that you identify with some of these “perks” and/or losses from your own experience with sexual betrayal.
So, get comfy and settle in for a deeply personal conversation about loss, but also the hope we have in Christ in the midst of pain and injustice.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

May 13, 2024 • 27min
53 | 4 Ways To Help a Friend Experiencing Sexual Betrayal
One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming!
Today we will discuss two different types of friends in this scenario and the best way for each of them to help a friend going through this difficult journey.
So, grab a refreshing beverage and join us as we unpack what it looks like to be a good friend.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal
Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

May 6, 2024 • 33min
52 | What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth.
Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy.
We’re excited to share our perspective on this topic as we have lived it and learned from it. So pop in your earbud and join us for a riveting conversation about BIG emotions.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 09. I’m So Angry! How I Overcame Anger from Sexual Betrayal in 3 Simple But Not Easy Steps
Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology
Episode 13. His Triggers, Her Triggers – 4 Steps For Dealing With Triggers While Healing From Infidelity
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.

Apr 29, 2024 • 33min
51 | Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal
My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it?
My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it?
Would you both be willing to do all it takes to reveal and know the truth?
Join us today as we give an overview of a very effective process that can give a marriage broken by sexual betrayal a really good chance for healing and recovery.
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💜Work with us! Beyond Betrayal Breakthrough Coaching
💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com
💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe
RESOURCES:
The Healing Apology (request your copy at support@beyondbrokenvows.com)
Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)
(This post may contain affiliate links to products. We earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.)
RELATED EPISODES:
Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1)
Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)
Episode 32. Recovery Step 5: What Have I Done? Admitting How My Porn Addiction Hurt Myself and Others
NEXT STEPS:
✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!
✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast.
✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.