Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
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Oct 6, 2025 • 33min

126 | Forgiving Yourself After Betraying Your Wife

Have you ever thought about how the toughest barriers holding you back might not be out there in the world, but instead created in the hidden corners of your own mind?   For the man battling sex addiction, the compulsive behavior is often just the symptom of a deeper problem: a faulty belief system built on a foundation of shame, self-loathing, and the unshakable conviction that you are, at your core, unforgivable. This is the silent war that can rage long after the acting out stops.   In this episode, we’re going to take a deeper look at the mental traps—the negative I Am statement we tell ourselves and the isolating shame—that keep you trapped in a cycle of self-punishment.   We’ll talk about how this internal battle doesn’t just sabotage your inner peace, but systematically undermines your marriage and every good thing in your life. Join us as Johnny opens up about his personal journey, sharing how he began to forgive himself and embrace the powerful truth that he is truly forgiven—by God, by Emily, and himself.   This conversation promises to be enlightening and supportive as we explore the path to healing together!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 11. Freedom and Healing: 4 Keys to Unlocking Forgiveness After Sexual Betrayal Episode 35. Recovery Step 6: Ready to Move on From Sexual Integrity Issues? 4 Questions to Help you Decide   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Sep 29, 2025 • 39min

125 | 4 Reasons Showing Compassion Feels Risky for Betrayed Wives

Navigating the aftermath of a husband’s sexual betrayal is a complex and deeply painful journey for a wife.   While a natural desire to support his recovery may exist, it often clashes with powerful, protective emotions born from the trauma itself.   The act of showing compassion can feel fraught with risk, not as a sign of a lack of love, but as a defense mechanism against further pain and a means of preserving her own fractured sense of safety and self-worth.   This hesitation is not a character flaw but a rational response to profound injury. The wife’s fears are typically rooted in a need to validate her own experience, guard her heart from additional harm, and ensure that her husband’s path to recovery is built on genuine accountability rather than easy forgiveness.   Understanding these fears is a crucial step in healing for both spouses. Join us as Emily tells the story of her journey from a lack of compassion to showing compassion to Johnny after his sexual betrayal in our marriage.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 72. Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity Episode 114. "I Know the Plans I Have for You" After Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Sep 22, 2025 • 29min

124 | From Hurt to Hope Through Rigorous Honesty

When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?   Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?   If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more destructive to trust than the acts themselves.   In this powerful second part of our conversation, We recap the five ways we lie from last week—commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting—and dive deep into how embracing rigorous honesty can pave the way for trust and healing.   Join us as we unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it, and how it impacted our recovery process.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 109. Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam) Episode 123. The One Thing Worse Than Infidelity in Marriage   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Sep 15, 2025 • 33min

123 | The One Thing Worse Than Porn-Fueled Infidelity in Marriage

In marriages wounded by sexual betrayal, the deepest injury isn't the act itself, but the web of lies that concealed it.   It’s a staggering reality that the concept of honesty is not as straightforward as many would like to believe.   Lies can come in various forms, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions and misleading statements, all of which can have profound effects on trust in relationships.   What is the key to complete honesty, and how can we foster openness and transparency in our relationships? We are celebrating our 38th anniversary over the next week so we are sharing with you one of our most listened to podcast episodes.   The topic is LYING.   We will discuss five different ways we lie, specifically relating to broken covenant in marriage through porn-fueled infidelity. You will hear some intimate details from our painful journey to freedom and healing as we navigated the deception uncovered in our marriage.   Our victorious story serves as a testament to the fact that breaking the cycle of dishonesty is not only possible but essential for building a solid foundation for safety and trust leading to true intimacy.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 07. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 1) Episode 08. 5 Ways We Lie and the Secret to Complete Honesty (part 2)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.
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Sep 8, 2025 • 38min

122 | Can Jesus Be Found in the Traditional 12-Steps of Addiction Recovery?

What comes to mind when someone brings up 12-Step recovery?   Maybe you think of Alcoholics Anonymous?   Or perhaps group meetings?   Do you also wonder if 12-Step programs are only for those who don’t see Jesus as Savior and Lord of all?   Should followers of Christ consider participating, even if Jesus isn't the central focus?   There are certainly some common misconceptions about where the original twelve steps come from and how they are meant to be used.   Today, we’ll look at a few of the most prevalent misunderstandings surrounding this simple yet effective program for addiction recovery and discover if these twelve steps are a clear path to God.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 25.Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?  Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Sep 1, 2025 • 35min

121 | I Need You Where I Am: My Wife Feels "This Way" Because...(Series 3 of 3)

Today we wrap up our series, I Need You Where I AM. In the first episode of our series, we focused on a statement that many betrayed wives relate to, "My Husband Just Doesn’t 'Get It'.”   And what is the “it” he’s not getting? Not understanding the magnitude of what his actions through infidelity have done to her.    In the second episode in our series, we covered some of the ways betrayed wives are affected by their husband’s infidelity. Not the least of which is grief. But in an everyday way, it can look like experiencing new health issues, being triggered by movies, TV shows, music, and even reading the Bible.   Today we are giving husbands hope for addressing his wife’s needs in a practical way. To help Johnny see past himself to how Emily was being affected by his sexual betrayal, he created a process to handle her big emotions based on an internal statement, My wife feels this way because…   Join us for the rest of the statement plus 4 important things it does to help both spouses heal.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3) Episode 120. I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Aug 25, 2025 • 30min

120 | I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)

Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.   The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.   As we talked about last week, a husband who “gets it” understands the magnitude of the effects of his betrayal on his wife. This man can show compassion and empathy by looking past his own situation to see his wife’s pain.   In this episode, we will share our experience with the effects of betrayal trauma as well as hope for the future where the trauma is healed and life becomes new.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Aug 18, 2025 • 35min

119 | I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)

Today we want to speak to both spouses who are bravely navigating the deep and challenging waters following a discovery and disclosure of sexual betrayal.   We understand that this emotional journey can feel overwhelming and may be difficult to sort out on your own.   Today we’re excited to present a relatable word-picture that aims to make the experience of a husband’s infidelity a little easier to understand for both partners.   This episode marks the beginning of a 3-part series designed specifically for betrayed wives, focusing on what they wish their unfaithful husbands could grasp after their world has been shattered by the revelation of infidelity.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity? Episode 64. 64 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Aug 11, 2025 • 10min

118 | Is It Okay to Take a Break While Recovering from Sexual Betrayal?

Recovery work is hard! It is not something that either spouse ever wanted and sometimes it can feel like it takes over everything else in life. Is it okay to take breaks from the difficult conversations and the grieving process?   Yes! We all need to take a break from the struggle occasionally and recharge so we can get back in and do the next right thing.   We have a shorter show today, but lots of encouragement! Please take a moment to receive a blessing as we share a beautiful passage of scripture that quiets our souls and helps us to rest in the Lord.   We are praying for you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe     RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 100. Getting Real Help for Your Marriage: 10 Obstacles to Counseling and Coaching Episode 113. No Stone Unturned in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Aug 4, 2025 • 41min

117 | Real Help for Christians Battling Pornography, with John-Michael Bout

In this episode we are excited to have John-Michael Bout share his powerful testimony of struggling with pornography addiction since the age of eight and how he overcame it through God's grace, supportive friendships, and accountability.   John-Michael also introduces his ministry, Into the Light, which offers various free resources including documentaries, video series, and workbooks to help individuals and families combat pornography and better understand biblical sexuality.   He shares with us the importance of confessing sins, addressing the accessibility of pornography through technology, and integrating these conversations and resources into church communities for broader support and impact.   Pop in your earbuds and listen in for some real help!   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   CONNECT WITH JOHN-MICHAEL: Website: intothelightministries.ca Socials:@intothelight_ministries Into The Light Podcast   RESOURCES: Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 58. Purpose from Pain: Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage? Episode 77. 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  

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