This vs. That

Darby Strickland, a counselor and faculty member at CCEF, shares her expertise on trauma and its profound effects. She emphasizes the harm of simplistic responses like suggesting time heals all wounds or questioning faith. Darby clarifies that trauma disrupts self and relationships, making the label less important than the individual experience of pain. She advocates for a ministry of presence, recommending consistent support and practical acts of care. Through scripture and community, Darby provides insights on loving trauma survivors well.

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Brad Hambrick, pastor of counseling at the Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina, to discuss one of the most painful experiences a marriage can face: betrayal.We explore the tension between idealized expectations of quick healing and the reality that recovery requires an intentional, patient process. Brad shares why "rarely is the first story, the whole story" and how incomplete information at the beginning can derail restoration efforts. We discuss the importance of full disclosure versus discovery, and why marriages often die from "a death of a thousand confessions" rather than the initial betrayal itself.We examine the early stage work that must happen before forgiveness—gaining an accurate history of what occurred and assessing the unfaithful spouse's level of transparency and cooperation. Brad offers the profound insight that "there is as much hope for the marriage as there is honesty," helping us understand how to gauge realistic hope in the restoration process.Throughout our conversation, we address how helpers can better support those who've experienced betrayal, why the betrayed spouse is often the most neglected individual in these situations, and how God's character speaks to this devastating reality.-----You’re going to love what our partner organization, Rode Leadership, is offering: the Pastor’s Wives Cohort — an eight-week virtual experience designed to nourish, connect, and equip women in ministry.And just for our This Versus That listeners — there’s a super early bird deal:Get 25% off the regular $375 registration with code RODESUPER — but only through December 4th.Craving connection? Need support? Just want to breathe and grow alongside others in ministry?Sign up today at rodeleadership.com/pwc----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit ⁠⁠anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Trevin Wax and Thomas West to explore their new book, The Gospel Way Catechism: 50 Truths that Take On the World. We discuss how catechisms serve as powerful tools for spiritual formation and discipleship in an ever-changing culture.Trevin and Thomas share the inspiration behind their work, drawing from the influence of Lesslie Newbigin and Tim Keller's concept of counter catechesis. We explore how their catechism is designed to counter dominant cultural narratives like expressive individualism and secularism, helping believers understand not just what Christians believe, but how those beliefs stand in contrast to the way of the world.The conversation unpacks key themes from the book, including the tension between freedom and submission to God, the nature of human identity and purpose, and how catechesis equips us to shine like stars in a crooked and perverse generation. We also discuss practical applications—from teenagers navigating secular education to professionals working in luxury brand marketing—showing how the gospel way provides a lens for faithful living in any context.

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore one of the most important yet often misunderstood aspects of Christian marriage: sex. We sit down with Scott Mehl, pastor of Cornerstone Church of West LA and author of Redeeming Sex and Marriage, to discuss the difference between self-centered sex and God-centered sex.We tackle questions like: What is God's design for sex and marriage? Why does physical intimacy get complicated even in the best of marriages? And what is the larger story that sex is telling?Scott shares from his own journey—the confusion he and his wife Lauren experienced early in their marriage, and how that led him to search for what God actually says about this sensitive topic.We discuss the five purposes of sex, including how it serves as an expression of the relationship between Christ and the church.We also address the practical side: how selfishness shows up in the bedroom, why viewing sex as a "need" can be problematic, and how the gospel speaks directly to our sexual brokenness.Throughout our conversation, we emphasize that God-centered sex is ultimately spouse-focused sex—a reflection of selfless love that points us to something greater.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit ⁠anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we welcome Rebekah Hannah, not as our usual co-host, but as a special guest to discuss her leadership journey and the upcoming Women in Leadership cohort offered by Anchored Virtual starting in September. We explore how this cohort creates a space for women serving in various leadership roles to come together, find encouragement, and receive valuable teaching.Becca shares her diverse leadership roles - from being President and CEO of Anchored Virtual to serving as Director of Kids and Families at Redeemer Lincoln Square in New York City, teaching as an adjunct professor at Baylor University, and balancing family life with three children.We discuss the unique challenges women face in leadership, particularly in predominantly male-led spaces, and how maintaining confidence in Christ rather than position or approval from others has helped Becca navigate these environments.The conversation concludes with details about the eight-week Women in Leadership cohort starting September 10th, featuring speakers like Alicia Britt Chole, Eliza Huey, Glenna Marshall, Ellen Dykes, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Eric Schumacher, Jared Wilson, and Kelly Kapic - each addressing crucial aspects of leadership from spiritual health to navigating challenges.----Unlock your leadership potential with the Women in Leadership Cohort—an empowering 8‑week online program designed for women ready to lead with confidence. Experience weekly leadership training, mentorship, and counselor‑led small groups in a supportive community of driven women. Step into your calling, strengthen your skills, and connect with like‑minded leaders.For more information visit ⁠anchoredvirtual.com/womens-cohort⁠----We're really excited to tell you about Anchored Virtual's new podcast, Consult the Counselor. There are very few spaces that are designed for long form conversations on difficult counseling topics. On Consult a Counselor, that's what we want to provide.In each episode, we invite two of our counselors at Anchored Virtual into a deep dive conversation on a counseling topic. Once a month, we'll release episodes on issues such as addictions, trauma, church hurt, infertility, forgiveness, abuse, and more. You'll get to hear expert counselors discuss the nuances and challenges of these issues and ultimately apply the hope of the gospel in practical and meaningful ways.To listen search for Consult the Counselor wherever you listen to podcasts.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit ⁠anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Dr. Nate Brooks about navigating the tension between honesty and cynicism when dealing with chronic illness. We discuss how the church often struggles to address the realities of chronic pain in authentic ways, sometimes offering shallow platitudes rather than genuine understanding. Dr. Brooks, an associate professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and founder of Courage Christian Counseling, shares insights from his book "Disrupted Journey" and his personal experience walking alongside his wife through chronic illness.We explore what makes questioning faithful versus unfaithful, how to express raw emotions without sliding into nihilism, and the challenging process of renegotiating relationships when chronic illness changes everything. Dr. Brooks offers a fascinating framework of "key card access levels" for understanding how different relationships can handle different levels of vulnerability during difficult seasons.----Unlock your leadership potential with the Women in Leadership Cohort—an empowering 8‑week online program designed for women ready to lead with confidence. Experience weekly leadership training, mentorship, and counselor‑led small groups in a supportive community of driven women. Step into your calling, strengthen your skills, and connect with like‑minded leaders.For more information visit anchoredvirtual.com/womens-cohort----We're really excited to tell you about Anchored Virtual's new podcast, Consult the Counselor. There are very few spaces that are designed for long form conversations on difficult counseling topics. On Consult a Counselor, that's what we want to provide.In each episode, we invite two of our counselors at Anchored Virtual into a deep dive conversation on a counseling topic. Once a month, we'll release episodes on issues such as addictions, trauma, church hurt, infertility, forgiveness, abuse, and more. You'll get to hear expert counselors discuss the nuances and challenges of these issues and ultimately apply the hope of the gospel in practical and meaningful ways.To listen search for Consult the Counselor wherever you listen to podcasts.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Harrison Scott Key, author of the incredibly popular book "How To Stay Married" as well as "Congratulations, Who Are You Again?" and "The World's Largest Man" (winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor). We explore the theme of fairytale versus real marriage through Harrison's raw, honest, and often humorous account of marital betrayal. Harrison shares his journey of discovering his wife was in love with their neighbor, the separation that followed, and the challenging path to reconciliation. We discuss how he transformed this painful experience into a book, including his wife's perspective, and examine how his simple, naive expectations of marriage collided with the complex reality of betrayal and forgiveness. This fascinating conversation reveals the universal aspects of marriage through Harrison's particular story of heartbreak and ultimately, hope.-----We're really excited to tell you about Anchored Virtual's new podcast, Consult the Counselor. There are very few spaces that are designed for long form conversations on difficult counseling topics. On Consult a Counselor, that's what we want to provide.In each episode, we invite two of our counselors at Anchored Virtual into a deep dive conversation on a counseling topic. Once a month, we'll release episodes on issues such as addictions, trauma, church hurt, infertility, forgiveness, abuse, and more. You'll get to hear expert counselors discuss the nuances and challenges of these issues and ultimately apply the hope of the gospel in practical and meaningful ways.To listen search for Consult the Counselor wherever you listen to podcasts.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore the profound topic of rejection and how we respond to it with our special guest Tabitha Panariso. We dive into the contrast between hiding and being held when facing rejection in our lives. Tabitha, a licensed professional counselor, writer, and speaker, shares her personal journey with rejection and how these experiences shaped her identity.We discuss why rejection leaves us feeling so helpless and confused, examining how our sense of belonging intertwines with our identity. Tabitha reveals how her own healing journey involved recognizing deeply rooted wounds, seeking therapy, and ultimately shifting from an "I am rejected" narrative to an "I am loved" perspective.The conversation explores why it's difficult to turn to Christ after experiencing rejection, how we often project our human relationships onto our relationship with God, and practical ways to invite Jesus into our places of hiding. Tabitha also shares her approach to building sustainable spiritual rhythms through daily curiosity and reframing questions.We also examine the powerful intersection of Christ-centered and trauma-informed counseling, discussing how therapists can serve as conduits of God's love to help people experience healing and freedom from past wounds.-----We're really excited to tell you about Anchored Virtual's new podcast, Consult the Counselor. There are very few spaces that are designed for long form conversations on difficult counseling topics. On Consult a Counselor, that's what we want to provide.In each episode, we invite two of our counselors at Anchored Virtual into a deep dive conversation on a counseling topic. Once a month, we'll release episodes on issues such as addictions, trauma, church hurt, infertility, forgiveness, abuse, and more. You'll get to hear expert counselors discuss the nuances and challenges of these issues and ultimately apply the hope of the gospel in practical and meaningful ways.To listen search for Consult the Counselor wherever you listen to podcasts.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore the relationship between the church and outside counseling resources. Our guest, Garrett Higbee, shares his extensive experience as founder of 12 Stones and president of Soul Care Consulting International. We discuss the challenges churches face when navigating the counseling world, from concerns about liability to questions about theological alignment. Garrett offers insights on how counseling organizations can better partner with local churches, describing the ideal parachurch organization as "an attendant to the bride" rather than a replacement. We also examine ways to redefine biblical counseling as part of discipleship rather than adopting secular therapeutic models. Throughout our conversation, we emphasize the importance of creating a culture of compassionate care within churches while acknowledging when specialized help is needed.----We're really excited to tell you about Anchored Virtual's new podcast, Consult the Counselor. There are very few spaces that are designed for long form conversations on difficult counseling topics. On Consult a Counselor, that's what we want to provide.In each episode, we invite two of our counselors at Anchored Virtual into a deep dive conversation on a counseling topic. Once a month, we'll release episodes on issues such as addictions, trauma, church hurt, infertility, forgiveness, abuse, and more. You'll get to hear expert counselors discuss the nuances and challenges of these issues and ultimately apply the hope of the gospel in practical and meaningful ways.To listen search for Consult the Counselor wherever you listen to podcasts.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit anchoredvirtual.com

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore the topic of nourished souls vs. starved souls with guest Kristen Wetherell, author of "Help for the Hungry Soul." We discuss why Christians sometimes lose their appetite for God's Word and how to recognize the signs of spiritual malnourishment. Kristen shares personal insights about her own struggles with treating Bible reading as a checklist rather than an encounter with Jesus. We examine how disordered desires and our culture of distraction affect our spiritual appetite, while also exploring practical ways to renew our hunger for Scripture—including changing our routines, seeking community perspectives, and relying on the Holy Spirit rather than our own determination. Join us for this honest conversation about developing sustainable spiritual habits that move beyond mere duty to genuine delight.----We're really excited to tell you about Anchored Virtual's new podcast, Consult the Counselor. There are very few spaces that are designed for long form conversations on difficult counseling topics. On Consult a Counselor, that's what we want to provide.In each episode, we invite two of our counselors at Anchored Virtual into a deep dive conversation on a counseling topic. Once a month, we'll release episodes on issues such as addictions, trauma, church hurt, infertility, forgiveness, abuse, and more. You'll get to hear expert counselors discuss the nuances and challenges of these issues and ultimately apply the hope of the gospel in practical and meaningful ways.To listen search for Consult the Counselor wherever you listen to podcasts.----For more information about Anchored Virtual, visit anchoredvirtual.com