Aww Shift

In today’s episode, our guest is Zee Clarke. She is a Harvard MBA who went from leading teams at Fortune 500 companies and startups in Silicon Valley to teaching mindfulness and breathwork to people of color. Trained in India, Zee leverages her toolkit of yoga, meditation, breathwork, sound healing, and Reiki to ensure that all people of color have the tools to thrive despite any challenges that race, gender, or sexuality might present. [2:55] Why should I listen to you?  If you’re a black person, you should listen to me because I can share with you tools that can help you deal with racism and racial profiling and also help your mental health. But if you’re an ally or aspiring ally, you should listen to me for education about the reality of the experiences of people who look like me in this country.  [4:56] When did this torch become something you wanted to carry?  So I grew up in Washington, DC, also known as the "murder capital" of America. I grew up in a low-income, predominantly black neighborhood, and I went to a fancy private school in the suburbs of Washington, DC, where I was the only black person in a school filled with rich white people. So the first time that I experienced this feeling of, "Do I belong here?" I'm not good enough. What is happening, why is nobody speaking to me, and why are people treating me differently? That was the first day of school when I was eight years old. I share this with you to say that this feeling continued throughout my education. I went to Harvard Business School. I worked in financial services early in my career, and then after business school, I went to the Bay Area, where I worked in Silicon Valley in tech. And so during that entire time of my corporate career, I would be the only woman in the room, sometimes in tech. My mental health was in the gutter. I wasn't eating, and my doctors were like, "Something's got to change your stress levels; they're causing your current state of being," so I quit and I went to India. I joke that I did the black girl version of Eat, Pray, Love because I was meditating. I'm doing yoga, and I've never felt so good in my entire life. I did not know that this was possible. And so I felt very passionately that I needed to share these tools with others, particularly black people and people of color because we have higher rates of high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and all sorts of other things that now medical research is showing are a direct result of racism and microaggressions. [8:00] How would you define microaggression?  A microaggression is a comment or action that unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude towards a member of a marginalized group. It can also be when people question your competence, when you don’t feel seen or heard, or when they mistake you for somebody that looks nothing like you. There is a long list, but in short, we are being treated differently because of what we look like.  [9:45] Where do you think this came from?  I think it's a lack of empathy. A lot of people who commit microaggressions might have good intentions, and that is why the definition means "unconsciously" or "unintentionally." They might have good intentions, but the impact is usually negative. Some of these things come from parents, too. When you hear your parents speak negatively about a certain group of people, you think they are right, but the truth is they also learned it from their parents.  [11:56] What do you think should be the first thing we think about when these things happen to us and when we choose to respond to them?  Well, my book is called Black People Breathe because breathing is very critical to regulating our nervous system. When these things happen, we get triggered, and that is when our systematic nervous system kicks in, and when that happens, your heart rate tends to go up. You might start sweating, you might clench up, your shoulders might come up, and all of that kind of just depends on how your body reacts to that. But that is the sympathetic nervous system kicking in, and when that happens, we aren't rational people, and we might say or do things that come from an emotionally charged place, which could hurt your job. So my recommendation is that when you are triggered, be intentional about breathing so that you can regulate your nervous system.  [16:35] What are the things someone can do when stuff like this happens?  I think what happens is that when you breathe, you can speak from a more calm and rational place. Nelson Mandela has a quote that states that “resentment is like drinking poison and hoping for your enemy to die." When somebody says something offensive, take a breath and ask yourself if it’s good for your mental health. Sometimes I’m not okay, but for my mental health, I choose not to engage. I get that sometimes you might want to educate others, but it will be preferable if you don’t. You get to sleep better because you didn’t get to fight someone at work.  [22:00] Can you dive deeper into your book?  Every chapter of the book is focused on a particular issue that black people face in America, and I shared this in the context of personal stories that have happened to me. At the end of every chapter, there are specific mindfulness and breathwork tools that you can use when it happens to you. So for allies, it’s going to be very educational because you will get a live glimpse of what it is like to be black in America. In the end, there are also practices that you can use when you experience anxiety.  [27:20] When one acquires skills like this, do they have to wait until these moments before utilizing them? I know that people are just busy. I have so many friends who are like me and can't meditate and so what I'll say is, yes, even just five minutes every morning of doing some deep breathing is beneficial. One of the practices that I love is called "box breathing," which is when you inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and then exhale. As I explain, many people are familiar with it. But just doing a couple of minutes of box breathing every morning can make you sick and can set a solid foundation for your nervous system so that when things happen, you might not be as triggered. However, you know, what I tend to recommend for folks is that they do it when bad things happen. You've got to remember these breathing techniques so that you can figure them out.  [29:38] What was the journey like for you to get into organizations and express the need for this?  In my experience; diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives never felt like they were for me. They prioritize talent acquisition, so external candidate pools are usually larger, so I partner with employee resource groups, which are usually funded by DEI. Our stress levels are off the charts. Some of us want to quit. It's a toxic environment. And so I teach workshops to empower black and brown folks in the workplace to know how to navigate microaggressions. I teach a workshop called mindfulness to heal from microaggressions at work. I teach one on countering impostor syndrome because sometimes we need an extra competence boost, but there are also so many other issues when it comes to being black in the workplace. For example, when managing people as a black manager, you have white people report to you. They may not respond to your leadership and direction in the same way that a white man would, depending on their upbringing. As a result, even if they do not respond to your feedback, for example, in a performance review, the dynamics are different, just like when you have the courage to ask for a promotion. As we already know, there aren't that many of us in leadership positions, and so having the courage to ask for a promotion, a raise, or extra responsibilities can be a lot for a black person in the workplace. So I teach several workshops around self-doubt, performance microaggressions, and dealing with stereotypes. [44:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  To help all black people and all people of color feel good so that we can be our best selves in this world. Key Quotes  [34:38-34:40] Do not work harder, but smarter.  [35:50-35:53] Do what matters to the people that matter. [41:42-41:46] Mindfulness is paying attention in the present moment without judgment.  How to connect with Zee Clarke  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zeeclarkebreathes/?hl=en  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zhalisa-zee-clarke Website: http://www.zeeclarke.com/ 

In today’s episode, our guest is Nick Sonnenberg. He is an entrepreneur, Inc. columnist, and guest lecturer at Columbia University. He is also the author of "Come Up for Air: How Teams Can Leverage Systems and Tools to Stop Drowning in Work." He is the founder and CEO of Leverage, a leading operational efficiency consultancy that helps companies implement his CPR® Business Efficiency Framework.  [2:27] Why should I listen to you?  You’d listen to me because the stuff that I’m interested in is the most valuable thing that anyone could give someone, which is the gift of time.  [3:55] Can you walk us through your journey?  I called my book "Come Up for Air" because the first thing I hear people say is that they're drowning in work, especially in recent years. I’ve been drowning in work for a long time, so everything I talk about is not from theory but from what I have experienced as a person. I know the pain of growing a company and working 100 hours a week; before then, I worked as a high-frequency trader on Wall Street, where I worked my ass off too. But one thing I've done exceptionally well is training myself. I know what drowning in work feels like, so my company does operational efficiency consulting and training for teams and other companies. We brainstorm with the team and come up with a new technology. It could be a new way to use that technology and it could have nothing to do with it but for me, time is the most precious resource and it’s so easy to fall into the trap of doing things the same way in an inefficient manner because you are used to it.  [6:20] How did you balance that?  I've always been passionate about time. As a high-frequency trader, I build algorithms for computers to trade stocks at micro and nanosecond speeds. I gained an appreciation for the value of time because a microsecond could mean a million. I decided to leave finance after 8 years, and I developed a freelancer marketplace where we do tasks and projects for people under the umbrella of giving back time. In the first year, we grew to 7-figure revenue with 150 team members fully remote. It sounds good, but under the hood, we had three-quarters of a million dollars in debt and almost half a million in losses. I was close to bankruptcy, but I decided not to because I knew where we were. I had a game plan on how to fix it. I stuck to it and things started turning around. After a while, I decided to pivot that company from a freelancer marketplace to leveraging operational efficiency, consulting, and training, which is the core of my book. I was able to do that because I know what it feels like to be drowning.  [11:45] How does somebody build into releasing?  I think part of it is a systems issue and a people's issue. Trust comes in different levels. You can trust someone on an ethical level but not on another, and that causes a lot of friction and anxiety. You have to be aware of the lack of trust coming from an ethical issue, a competence issue, a poor process, or a system issue. But documenting the right way to do something is a great way to kind of lessen the stress. They are not going to do it the same way you do, but as long as you’ve built some kind of process and SOPs, they will get it right. Some things are harder to outsource to others, but you can probably get rid of 80% of your plate. Just invest your time in documenting things the way you want them done.  [16:10] How does one decide whether to keep tasks in a submission on the board or off the board? I think anything that gives you joy or taps into your unique ability should be kept, and anything outside of that ain't a good candidate. I think there's a famous Ink magazine article about Mark Cuban, who likes doing his laundry. Now, his hourly rate is much higher than whatever it would cost to outsource. But if it gives you joy, then you’re not touching that. One of your unique abilities can also be hosting a podcast, and that's a really good use of your time. However, there may be other things about the podcast that you don’t feel great about, like editing, and you can  So that's the way I like to think about those things. So it’s like buying back your time.  [18:10] Do you think people can expand beyond their points?  I think that if you get more breathing room and free up time, you can be very efficient. Sometimes you're so constrained because you're just so inefficient. You're on a scavenger hunt looking for stuff, and you're working 60–80 hours a week, and you know, that affects the quality of your work. It affects your mood. So, if you can make work easier, do better work, take on more new projects, and be a better business partner, employee, spouse, and so on.  [19:45] What are some things that you've seen people practice throughout the last few years and does your book provide a solution?  I think that there are some personal preferences with some of the individual productivity stuff. I think that there's probably something in general with time blocking. However, I think that it will help if you can wake up early and also have a good morning routine. Another thing is a lot of people talk about saving time, but optimizing time is very important. It's not just about saving time but optimizing time. Also, the underlying principle of my book is based on how you can create systems and processes to optimize and retrieve whatever you need to find as fast as possible.  [25:20] How do you get your team organized in a way that gets the work done faster and more efficiently?  This has got to be part of your culture. Don't try to fix everything all at once. Different parts of your business have different amounts of return on time as we were talking about before. So it might be teaching everyone how to use email properly and teaching them how to get to Inbox Zero. So just prioritize it so that you do one thing at a time and start seeing the benefit. Get a little breathing room and reinvest so that you can free up space for the next thing. Take as much of that breathing room as you can so that you're not necessarily telling people to work fewer hours, but do it and clean up the next thing.  [28:20] Does the book give someone an insight into where they can get started? So every business is different, and what I can tell you from my experience is that 80–90% of people start by learning how to use email properly. The benefit of knowing how to use Slack, Microsoft Teams, and Asana is super important, but it takes a little bit more effort to roll these out because it requires everyone to adopt them simultaneously and be involved. Everyone uses Gmail or Outlook, and it's one of the most misused tools out there. I talked about that in my book. The book took me four years to write. I was running a company, but I spent a lot of time on it. I can guarantee you that if you just follow the book, you'll be saving a lot of hours. Also on the website “Come up for air.com,"  you can get another 50 to 100 pages of additional content. You also get checklists, calculators, and PDFs as bonus resources in case you want to go deeper.  [31:35] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  The world will be a more efficient place after I'm gone.  Key Quotes [15:00-15:03] It’s not about the time spent but it’s about the time invested.  [21:57-22:00] Don't just save time, optimize it.  How to connect with Nick Sonnenberg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicholassonnenberg/?hl=en Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/NicholasSonnenbergLeverage/ Website: https://www.inc.com/author/nicholas-sonnenberg  

  In today’s episode, our guest is Jenn Lim. She is a global workplace expert, bestselling author, speaker, executive coach, and the CEO and co-founder of Delivering Happiness [DH], a company that grows purpose-driven organizations with more profitable and sustainable approaches to business. Jenn launched two bestselling books—Delivering Happiness in 2010 and authored Beyond Happiness: How Authentic Leaders Prioritize Purpose and People for Growth and Impact.  [3:40] Why should I listen to you? I just love real talk. I simply prefer to dive in sooner than most people, and I enjoy getting to know people on a personal level. So the only way I think I can do that is by expressing myself from the core. We had meaningful conversations where I learned a lot of things. I learned more about how to implement sustainable scientific happiness in my company.  [5:28] Where did that pop out for you?  I think multiple levels, but the most important is my inner circle. We had to sit and talk to ourselves; some saw this as a good thing, while others saw it as a bad thing. We had conversations about setting the right priorities, doing the right thing, and lots more.  [8:48] Can you break down the birth of this idea?  I launched a book with Tony Shea, the late CEO of zappos.com in 2010 and the book was titled delivering happiness. We didn't have an idea about how well it did and realized there was a demand for happiness in the world. Tony co-founded a company called delivering happiness and the purpose was to help other organizations focus on how to create happy environments for the staff and customers. If there is happiness in an organization, you’ll have a more sustainable profitable business. At the end of 2020, I lost my co-founder and one of my best buds. It's not just about sharing all these stories but how we made all these organizations happier, more productive, and more profitable. Right now, it's more than just happiness but reinforcing the perception of happiness.  [12:35] Do you mind sharing some of your lows?  There was a time I lost my job, lost my title, lost my status, 911 happened and in that same year, my dad got diagnosed with stage three colon cancer. I eventually lost my dad and that shaped me into figuring out what is meaningful to me and I found out that it's a misalignment of values. So I shifted from money to the values that are dear and near to me. I had meaningful relationships that got me into the place of exploring. It wasn’t even happiness at that time but how to ground and stabilize ourselves in a world that is uncertain and unpredictable.  [15:15] What do you recommend for people who are currently going through their darkest and low moments? When Tony died, the book was already due, but luckily the publisher gave me a little bit more time. But during that time, I was too weak to do anything. I was at my lowest and depressed. When you talk to people about it, they try to cheer you up and recommend some quotes that will help you, but that does not really help. What really helps is picking up a mirror, looking inward, and seeing what you’ve done in the past when you were at your lowest. Reflect on how you got through those times. So processing and reflecting on your own abilities helps you get your resilience back.  [20:25] How would you define happiness, and then go beyond it?  We kind of base happiness on scientific research and data, and we try to bring academics into real life. What we’ve learned from that is that there are different types of happiness, including pleasure and all those things related to it. However, the most sustainable form of happiness is purpose. We hear that all the time, so it's basically being part of something bigger than yourself. From a scientific standpoint, there are various ways to increase internal happiness, such as having a sense of autonomy and development. So if you are thinking of what you may do, have more control, more progress, more connections, or enhance that sense of greater purpose.  [23:12] In your journey, did you find something that can also lead to happiness?  When I completed the book, it was a moment of pride. I was able to complete it in an honorable way, which is like an achievement, and that is a natural part of what we want to do as human beings. It's just good to look at what you’ve accomplished and be proud of yourself.  [31:03] What has the work turned into over time?   We are still helping organizations, companies, governments, and hospitals around the world implement change. One of the silver liners is that we can now embed conversations about mental health. The last few years have deepened the stuff that we’ve done so that people understand that it's not just rainbows and unicorns. People want to show up as themselves. Authenticity is the number one happiness and then we feel that sense of progress and purpose and how we can do that on a day-to-day basis. A lot of people are obsessed with leaving a legacy, and to me, that’s not what it's all about. It's living the legacy today instead of thinking about what you’re going to leave behind.  [36:30] What are you passionate about now?  The last three years have been pretty much about getting better. Right now, we are looking at the outlook. There have been talks of an impending recession, and there will be some unexpected events this year. But what I think is cool about this particular time is that people are more ready and open than ever to being curious, courageous, and creative about themselves. Humanity is more ready than ever to receive something more than usual. We are ready to receive ourselves and each other.  [41:50] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  I will have the opportunity and the choice to show up and be who I was born to be.  Key Quotes [30:40-30:43] The more you exude yourself, the more growth within yourself  [42:35-42:40] The greatest gift you can have is to have a deeper understanding of yourself as God our Creator meant it.    How to connect with Jenn Lim Website: https://www.deliveringhappiness.com/jenn-lim  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byjennlim/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/byJennLim/ 

In today's episode, our guest is Jamie Bronstein.  She is a relationship therapist, coach, host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio, wife, and mama.  She was also named the #1 relationship coach transforming lives in 2020 by YahooFinance. For the past 20 years, Jaime has guided people from around the world as they navigate the peaks and troughs of dating and relationships.  [2:50] Why should I listen to you?  You should listen to me because I have a lot of value to offer and I can change your life. I can also expand on it if you want to know how and why I can change your life.  [3:42] Can you take us back to where you navigated through life?  I've been a psychotherapist for 20 years. I also have the fact that I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34 years old. Being "in the field," as I call it, entails a lot of dating experience. So I had to go through trial and error until I met my husband, and I’ve also been on a spiritual journey, so I have a certificate in spiritual psychology. Putting all of this together—my own experience, hearing my client's stories, and just practicing,I feel that, as well as my spiritual stuff, is genuinely life-changing.   [5:12] How did you drive into the realm of spirituality after psychology?  I have an undergraduate degree in psychology and a master’s in social work. I’m a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), and I got 3000 hours before I was even a licensed clinical social worker and did clinical work for years. All of a sudden, I discovered spirituality. I thought I was going to start a school or some kind of movement in psychology and spirituality as I went along on my spiritual journey. Then, I found something called the University of Santa Monica, which is a spiritual psychology program. I was drawn to spirituality, and some of the reasons were because it helped me not suffer anymore. It helps you learn how to rise above and see life through a different lens of perception.  [7:30] In your opinion, what is love? Love is first a feeling and intuition and until you've experienced it, people settle. So I always try to inspire people to not ever settle for less. True love sounds cheesy, but true, authentic, deep connection, and romantic with your soul mates. Your birthright to have this kind of love does exist, and until you experience it, it's hard to explain. But the only way to explain it is that it is a feeling that feels like home.   [9:38] How do all these pieces of stuff come together?  I would say one of the main reasons why I wrote my book is to inspire people. It is to let people know that it is their birthright to love and what my book helps you do is to figure out what is that missing piece between you and finding that love. There's unconditionally loving yourself. There's believing it's going to actually happen. It's getting very clear on what you are manifesting. As humans, we're always manifesting and if you aren't manifesting love you're manifesting something and you may not like that thing you're manifesting. [11:30] What does manifestation mean to you and how is it showing up in people’s lives currently?  The truth is you're not only just manifesting love. You are manifesting positive and negative things. So I mentioned that unconditional Self Love is a really important part of manifesting anything and. It all starts with the fact that our outside experiences are a reflection of our inner reality. We're constantly manifesting people in our lives that have a reflection of what's going on inside of us. So I help people to resolve their unresolved issues, to heal those unresolved issues and negative limiting beliefs.  Sometimes, our negative consciousness makes us believe that we are not good enough and we don't deserve love. People go through this a lot and that is why I decide to bring the truth to them. What is the truth? The truth is you are worthy of love, you're capable of love. People indeed have trust issues, and it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. It takes practice. It is a practice and that's how I would define how we are always manifesting even when we're not even trying to.  [14:10] What's the first step for manifestation to take place?  You have to admit there's a problem first and it takes awareness. So first you need to realize there is a problem and then you start getting aware of these negative thoughts.  Some people claim to be fearless and void of negative thoughts. That's not true because we are humans. We have a human reign and a mind. What matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts and feelings. So the thought comes in, is this true? This is not true. This is just my ego trying to keep me safe. It's Fear-based. It's not the truth. Right at that moment, what is the truth? So it's catching it and like I said, it is a practice.  [16:15] How does somebody face the negativity phase of life?  I always say that life happens for us, not to us. If you look at things in that way, then you know that everything that happens in life is an opportunity for growing and learning and getting closer to yourself. Ask yourself questions like: Why did this happen? What is my soul seeking? For me to learn from this? And then you take it to the next step of what am I going to do about it? Am I going to change the narrative? Am I going to stay in victim mode? I know that the universe gives us what we focus on so if we're focused on identifying as a victim, you will be a victim. You have to make a choice. It’s like saying I’m going to do this work and it is not easy. You’re saying it's hard at the beginning but the moment you try, it becomes easier.  [24:50] How do you utilize your intuition?  So here's the thing. Intuition is the most important part of life. Intuition to me is being in your integrity and being connected with yourself. We’re all born with intuition but on just a very simple level. Everybody can work on strengthening their intuitive muscles. When you are manifesting love, you want to trust yourself. You want to trust that first feeling that you have that guts. Five times it is a physical feeling. Some people feel it, they get the chills, and some people feel it in their bellies. Some ask their best friends to figure out how they are truly feeling. Because what I would do might be different than what you would do. But what matters is loving yourself first before you are in a relationship.   [27:40] What is the difference between fear and intuition?  There are two things in life and it is either fear or love. There is the fearful choice and there is the loving choice.  [31:05]  How do we introduce intuition into relationships?  In a relationship, it's really important to know the difference between a compromise and a sacrifice. A sacrifice is when you are out of your intuition or your integrity. So when you do something that does not feel aligned with your morals or values, you are out of your integrity. That's the relationship you don't want to be in or you just need to work on this with whoever you're with and verbalize it. If it happens that there's a lot of fear in your relationship, then I would say life is short and that's probably not your person. [44:32] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  That I will bring more love to this world and inspire people to know that true love exists.  I will also bring joy, love, peace, and less suffering to the world in this lifetime.    Keynotes [19:35-19:38]  You can't change what happened to you but you can change what you are going to do.  [21:10-21:12]  You can't give out what you don't have inside you.    How to connect with Jamie Bronstein Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therelationshipxpert/?hl=en  Website: https://therelationshipexpert.com/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theluvexpert 

In today's episode, our guest is Fran Maier. She is a serial entrepreneur, investor, and fundraiser responsible for five successful business ventures. She's also a former co-founder of Match.com and the founder of a new company called Baby Quip. She has gone through a journey of world-changing businesses, so if you want to create a great business idea and do things differently, this episode is for you. [2:05] Why should I listen to you?  You should listen to me because I am a fun conversationalist, I’d probably ask you what you’re up to and eventually get around to introducing myself as the CEO of Baby Quip and the services we render as a startup business.  [3:10] If you were to break down baby quip in its basics, what would it be?  Baby Quip is the largest baby gear rental and delivery service in the United States, Canada, Mexico, and Australia. We are the Airbnb of baby care, and we have over 1400 people (mostly moms) who own baby gear, and they are the ones who deliver it to families who are traveling to their local area. This isn’t moms renting their extra cribs, strollers, or seats. Most of these moms are building a real inventory of strollers, car seats, cribs, toys, baby monitors, and all kinds of other things. Because of the bombs, they get a lot of gratification from serving other families who are trying to have a good vacation. Baby quip is the one who connects the parents to the providers and parents can choose among providers their destination.  [5:22] How long has Baby Quip been around?  We launched it in May 2016. I finished my fourth startup sometime in 2012, and between 2012 and 2016, I got on the Airbnb craze, so I bought a house in San Francisco and was renting rooms on the top floor of my house. Afterward, I went to Santa Fe, where my mom was at the time, bought a couple of vacation rentals there, and started to think about how travel is changing. I didn't have a 9 to 5 job; instead, I was running properties and had a gig job. Then, I met somebody in Santa Fe who was doing the baby rental business, and we connected and joined forces in May. We launched pretty much immediately on the first platform. Almost seven years later, we survived the pandemic on Shark Tank on March 6, 2020. We were expecting our business to just take off, and then the pandemic came, but we are still standing and stronger than ever.  [7:00] What was the aww shift moment?  I had already been an Airbnb host, and I knew I did not want to store, clean, or provide the range that I saw families traveling with. I had a few families bring babies, and there was no way I wanted to do this. So when I saw this idea of baby gear rentals, the first thing I tried to find out was if anybody was into the business, and all I found were some small regional players. So I saw that nobody had the intention to build a national brand. When I saw the ideal vision for baby quip, I knew we needed to create trust because we are dealing with kids and babies. I also looked into liability insurance. Every piece of inventory was aimed at the baby. It also requires us to get background checks on all the quality providers, and we have a whole lot of things that we call trust and safety that give our providers, customers, and parents a piece of mind. We train our quality providers on cleanliness, safety, hospitality, and social media. That’s how we’ve done it, and we are still the only national brand that is sold to babies all over the world.  [12:39] How would you navigate the next few steps to getting a life?  I think it’s surprising that many people don’t necessarily go through the steps. One is what problem you’re solving or trying to solve. Then, who is your target market? You need to understand to whom you’re selling this solution. You’ve got to refine it. Okay, there is a target, there is a problem. What is one aspect of the solution? What are the unique benefits that you can bring? Of course, you have to think about how you’re going to reach those people, and that is daunting because it takes years. It takes time. Your audience must see your content over and over again.  [16:06] What are some of the hidden pitfalls that we don’t see?  Let’s face it, the pandemic trumps all. When we were declining and also refunding orders in March and April of 2020, it was super painful. I wasn’t sure we were going to make it, but fortunately, I had raised some money, and then we got government money, which I’ve never had in my entire life. I think getting the insurance was a big lift, and not only was it a big lift to qualify, but the premiums are super expensive. Now that we are expanding, not every place is like the United States. For example, we recently expanded it to Australia. It’s a fairly well-to-do country, and middle-class moms can afford to buy baby gear, but Mexico has a different demographic. So, we are looking at some of these challenges when moving into a new market.  [18:10] Do you choose the right ideas yourself or do you bring other people in whenever you have these sticking points?  I deal with a lot of them on my own, but I have a good team,  and we talk through things. I also have some legal financial advisors that always help a little more.  [20:10] How did you enroll people in your brand’s idea and vision?  We spend a lot of time on brands and culture. One of the things I probably should have mentioned earlier is that my brand name at the beginning was Baby Eres, but I could never get my mother to pronounce it correctly, and the spelling was really hard. We started working on the brand, which has values about putting family first and helping people enjoy their journey, and those kinds of things make a difference as well. Every year, we take a look at our business and brand and the feedback we’ve been getting. We might refine our brand values in our brand voice, but so far it has helped pretty steadily.     [26:50] How easy is it for someone to start this as a business?  It takes a little bit because we require everybody to get through the training. They could also go to babyquip.com and find the link to become a quality provider. We outline all the different steps; there are somepieces of training, and we do personal interviews to see if people are a good fit. We charge 200 bucks to get on the platform, and we train them on how to upload gear. One of the things we do mostly in the US is they could even put on the platform that they have the gear that they don’t have yet and if they get an order, we pay them and they could buy the gear and be ready for reservation.   [32:24] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  I will make some impact, and I feel like I’m on that path already.    Key Quotes  [11:02-11:06] What holds many people from being an entrepreneur is that they think about the objections ahead and it scares them off.  [14:41-14:44] In a marketplace business, you must consider the supply.    How to connect with Fran Maier  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/franmaier/?hl=en  Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/BabyQuip/posts/  Twitter - https://twitter.com/franmaierhttps://twitter.com/franmaier  Website: https://www.babyquip.com/team  https://www.adammendler.com/blog/fran-maier

In today’s episode, our guest is Lorenzo Alexander. He is a former American football linebacker who played in the NFL for 15 seasons playing the majority with the Washington Redskins. He played college football for the University of California and was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Carolina Panthers in 2005. [4:25] What are the things you’ve found beneficial to your life as an athlete that you wish non-athletes would experience? Sports are like simulated adversity that you experience every day. You either have success or failure and then you find out how you can grow in those moments. How do you get better? How do you become a better version of yourself? Human nature is to be in a place of comfort. We all want to find an easy flow. But we really don’t grow in that because the human condition is also to be complacent in many ways, and if you’re not pushed or challenged, you kind of just stay the same and let people pass you by.  So, I wish more people would play sports, engage, and get into a space that is going to stimulate adversity that they can learn from and then apply to who they are and the people that they impact on that day based on agreement.  [7:25] What’s the easiest, stress-free path to something?  I think we have the same mental health issues when it comes to sports and culture in general. We have the perspective that men don’t cry, and we shouldn’t tell our sons that we love them. But I think there needs to be a little bit of balance. We should be able to acknowledge our feelings and build mental toughness. There are a lot of different things out there that you can do to create balance in your life. But we are different, and that is why you have to know the loudest voices that you hear often. To be effective, we must strike a balance somewhere in the middle. If you are always in a state of crisis and you just try to chill out, beat yourself up, and not practice self-care, you are not doing anything. So building the skill set that you need in that space is really important.  [12:30] Can you walk us through the experience you had as a kid that led you to this point?  I went to St. Mary’s High School, did well in school, was one of the top players in the country, and eventually decided to go to Cal Berkeley. So one of the things my parents and uncle always instilled in me was having a plan B. I was taught that I could do multiple things at the same time. I always had my identity because I was a good student. I was a good football player who was ready to serve, and they created this structure for me that I was just participating in. I didn’t quite understand it at the time, but when I look back at it, I realize why I am here today. I’m passionate about certain things because of the individuals that I've had in my life. Much of the work done, primarily by my uncle Steve and mother, benefited me greatly.  My uncle had a family of his own and was married, but he still found time to sacrifice and serve not only his family but also to ensure that I had the structure I needed in addition to what my mother provided. I have people who are more talented than I am but didn’t have the structure and support that I had, so they ended up taking different routes. I had a great example of what that was supposed to look like and followed it as closely as I could.  [25:10] Can you share with people your day-to-day activities and where you see yourself in the next three to five years?  Well, the big thing, as you just mentioned, was finishing up my Master’s program at Grand Canyon University. One of the things that I was also blessed to learn was psychology, with an emphasis on life coaching. I was taught a growth mindset, and this is not something that I learned in grad school from an academic perspective, but something that I heard from Sean McDermott and how he applied it to football.  Everybody, I think, is inherently given certain skills and is gifted at certain levels, and we can be intentional about cultivating those within us as well. There is something that I have started doing over the last couple of years, and people know it as Exco, a training facility. Guys, former players, current players, and future NFL players go and train with some of the best in the business, and it’s a big-time company that does a really good job.  They have one here in Phoenix, and I work with the linebackers every year. I'm always concerned with preparing you for life. We talk about football stuff and how you need to navigate the business, but at the end of the day, I want you to tackle these things and apply them to life because if you are a better man, you will be a better husband, father, and other things.  [30:58] What has driven you to dive back in at this emotional expenditure level?  Living in Paradise Valley is probably the most Ranchi. I see myself in these young men, my sons and daughters, who are obviously black in America. I see myself in these people and all the trauma that a lot of people have to endure, no matter where they come from, how they grew up with poor parents, and so on. I grew up with friends dying, so I had my uncle step into that space and create the best safe environment. He made sure I didn’t turn out like one of my cousins, who is smarter and more gifted than me but ended up in prison for 10 years for catching a case. My cousin and I were tight; he was like my big brother in a lot of ways I never had, and I don’t want to see anybody become that or not reach their full potential.  So I think that is what drives me a lot of times. I want to be impacted so that I can help others become the best versions of themselves. I know how impactful that can be and what that means to the people that you come in contact with.  [33:30] How do you balance all these things while being a father and a husband?  I think building boundaries is one of the main things. When I started my career, I didn’t do that. I was a rookie when I got married, and I was used to doing things a certain way as far as getting ready for the season. So, I had a selfish mindset. I went out to California for like three weeks to train with my pregnant wife back in Virginia, and that is the stupidest thing you can ever do, right? I had people who had successfully built 25 years of marriage talk to me and give me advice. So keeping myself in a safe space allows me to be present and also not overwhelm me, and I have to be reminded from time to time because I am passionate about serving and helping. But I think creating that infrastructure for myself has been key. I make sure that I put my wife and kids first, which is always the case, but I've always had to deal with that selflessness and be intentional about it.  [36:45] Do you ever have the thought of your kids playing at the level you played?  I find it hard to allow them to see what I did for a living. The work that I put in was what it provided for them. I retired three years ago, and my daughter is now 14 years old, and my son is a grown-up too. My son has memories of football, and I would be cruel to say no if he ever showed any interest in it. I know it's dangerous, but a lot of things that we do are dangerous, and my job is to make sure that we do them in the safest way possible. My wife and I had discussed it before, and I will let him play once he gets to high school.  [42:10] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  Serve in love with all my heart.  Key Quotes  [12:20-12:24] Once you're done with the game, that game is done with you.  [23:24-23:27] As humans, we sometimes give enough to feel compelled.    How to connect with Lorenzo Alexander Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lorenzo_john/?hl=en  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ACESFoudation/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/onemangang97 

In today’s episode, our guest is Thomas D'Eri. He is an expert in autism employment through his experience as the founder and COO of Rising Tide Car Wash, a social enterprise that employs more than 80 individuals with autism.  He is also a recognized thought leader in the autism employment field and a 2019 Forbes 30 Under 30 list-maker in social entrepreneurship. Tom regularly speaks at Fortune 500 companies, international conferences, leadership development programs, and universities.  [3:16] Why should I listen to you?  I have the type of personality that is looking to learn much more than to tell people what to do. And if I were to talk to you in a coffee shop, I can promise you that I’d be asking many more questions than speaking.  [4:45] Where did you develop the desire to be curious about other people?  A lot of experiences come to mind, but the one that comes to mind most frequently is my experience with my brother, Andrew. Andrew has autism, and that is why we founded our business, Rising Tide Car Wash. Growing up with him and getting to know other people, I learned that people have all different types of struggles that you may not see on the surface. I think that has always been interesting to me, and it has also made me empathetic.  [7:20] Tell me how the carwash came to be.  My father, John Dre, and I founded the business in 2013. At this point, Andrew was turning 22. And at that point, in the autism community that means you are kind of out of the school district, out of the support system that you have through your childhood. We knew we had to act for a couple of years, but before then we had been doing research and testing different ideas to see what would work best for Andrew and what we felt could be a viable business, and we settled on a car wash. We opened our first location in Parkland, Florida, in the year 2013. It was an old kind of struggling car wash, we renovated it and we put it in our brand and our concept. When we bought it, it washed about 35,000 cars a year, and now it’s washing over 170,000 cars a year. Because of the progress, we were also able to build two more.  [9:20] Can you share how that kind of system operates and functions?  We take the approach that our employees with autism are extreme users of organizational systems. So they have the same needs as everyone else. They’re just more parents, and by designing for and with them, we’ve learned how to build more systems that are clear, streamlined, more inclusive, and that work better for everybody. So instead of letting go of employees, we take the approach of designing a system that they’re chafing up against in a way that works for them. Typically, we end up with a more innovative, better process that works better for everyone. Not every way works perfectly, but this approach works well for us.  [11:06] What are some of the challenges you faced in getting this off the ground?  When we were doing our research, there were not a lot of examples of non-profit businesses that designed and employed people with autism as most of their staff. Some nonprofit organizations have had some success but nothing we were trying to do was a consumer-facing business. We talked to a lot of experts and they told us it wasn’t going to work. My dad had been an entrepreneur before then and he was like, we will go into it and test it. We’ll take feedback but we will try and see if it’s going to work or not. I spent so much time figuring out how we will employ people with autism, how to train them, empower them and make them great employees.  [14:23] How do you tweak the system?  About 16% of the autism spectrum has a significant intellectual disability and half of the autism spectrum has no intellectual disability. It’s very wide and that is why we adopted the approach of figuring out who is having the biggest difficulty. So when we find out our team members just can’t do the work, we try to figure out where they are being challenged and we fix it. We also designed a sign that says drive forward, car in neutral that way they find it simple, and directional and that made it easier for our team members to navigate the process.  [18:03] How do you expand the business into multiple locations?  The first thing we do is by figuring out the challenges of a particular team member and we proffer solutions to them. We are also always at one location with only a couple of people to start. We expand it from there to one whole staff and then company-wide if it’s working well.  [20:17] In your own words, what was the inspiration behind you writing a book?  Throughout the business, we have had a couple of "lightning in a bottle"  moments where we’ve caught the attention of the media, magazines, and so on. Every time these things hit, we get an outpouring of parents who come to inquire about how we started the business and how they’d love to build something like that too. We can't help all of them individually. So our first inclination was to build entrepreneurship training for these parents. We partnered with the University of Miami and the Taft Foundation to build an online course and workshop around this training, which turned out to be great.   [23:17] Does the book have any idea around that kind of stuff?  Essentially, the book is centered around the idea that four hidden problems hold businesses back from achieving success. The first one is being able to objectively assess talent and hire people based on their actual skills instead of biases, the second is driving clarity through everything that we do; the third is how you build coaching, compassion, and leadership into the organization; and the fourth is how do you design an employee’s experience that works for everyone? And by doing these things, you unlock psychological safety, ethical accountability, and purpose for your entire team.  [29:50] Where should someone start with creating this ease of flow for people?  So picture the person you are most frustrated with on your staff, talk to the staff about it, and fix that particular staff problem. After trying your best and there are no changes, you can decide to let go of that particular person  [35:46] Do you see yourself trying something else besides this? To be honest, right now, I'm fully invested in the car wash. There are other things that I would love to do but I get a lot of satisfaction from solving operational challenges and as we try to scale this business, there is an unending amount of inspiration.  [39:08] How do you keep the business functioning when there is rain?  Obviously, on days like that, we don't wash a lot of cars. We focus on training and cleaning during days like that. Also, we have a subscription part of the business where people pay a monthly fee and they can come and get their cars washed as many times as they want and that helps to tide us over when the weather isn’t good.  [43:12] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  That there would be someone who cares about helping people work through and meet their individual potential.  Key Quotes [24:38-24:25] People quit their managers, but they don’t tend to quit their jobs.  [26:50-26:55] You have to be able to create different levels when you work with individuals who are harder than an average person.  How to connect with Thomas D’eri Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/risingtidecarwash/ Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/profile/thomas-deri/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derithom/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RisingTideCarWash

In today’s episode, our guest is Isa Watson. She is an entrepreneur, author, skydiver, and classical pianist. She is the co-founder and CEO of Squad, the fun way to build a world of your closest friends--away from social media. Named top 100 MIT Alumni in Tech in 2021, Isa is a physical scientist turned social scientist, building the next generation's social connection tool. [3:50] Why should I listen to you?  You should listen to me because I have a great smile.  [4:38] Do you mind walking me through your human experiences as we progress through your book? I don't know many, and I didn’t grow up on social media in the same way that a lot of kids today did. I came from a big Caribbean family. I grew up in North Carolina, Chapel Hill. My dad was a computer engineer who migrated to the US, and his mentality was if you can’t build it, then you shouldn’t be using it. From the time I was seven, my dad would buy me the parts of a computer to build them, and that morphed into me loving building things with my hands. I worked in the research labs at UNC Chapel Hill for a chemistry professor starting at 14 years old. I became one of the youngest published chemists in the world at 19 years old. I fell into Wall Street after, but I pivoted to finance via my MBA at MIT. I also started a tech company called SQUAD, and our thesis is that the future of social media is deeper.  [9:05] How can someone relate to the emotions you felt in those moments when you realized that you were a different person online?  It's interesting because it wasn’t just that I liked who I was online; I was a much broader person with broader interests. What happens with the feedback mechanism is that you get feedback online from the people who engage with you. You allow them to narrow the mental model of who you are as a person, and that can be an incongruence. I’m human; I've evolved, and I am not the same person that I was five years ago. But there is some kind of permanence on the internet sometimes that makes people expect that, and for me, it became jarring. I got off all social media for two years because it was something I had to resolve.  [10:50] What do you see about people who try to be someone they are not online?   Another thing that we do is confuse our online friends with our real friends. We assume that the person that is liking our content all the time and consistently gassing us in our DMs is one of our friends when they are not. One of my friends told me that she doesn’t interact with any of her friends on social media, and I think about that too. I rarely interact with my friends on social media, so I don't think it’s a necessity in the way that a lot of people think.   [13:05] What is the name of your social media company or brand? What is the thesis, and what do you see this thing becoming in time?  With Squad, we say that we are the easiest and most fun way to talk to your close friends every day. You can only have up to 12 people in your squad, which reinforces the idea of staying connected. We released a new version, a new take on the phone experience. A lot of our users describe Squad as a corner of their phone where they can go to disarm and just be with the people they want to be with. But the whole idea is that you get a lot more joy from being consistent with a handful of people as opposed to trying to broadcast to a ton of people you’ll never laugh in the same room with.  [17:48] Where did you get the idea from in your internal conversations about creating another solution that the rest of the world could have access to?  After my dad died, I realized that I was in a kind of friendship deficit, and it was because I had underinvested in those relationships. I also think that friendships are active and not passive investments. One of the things I did was rejigger my core friend group, and I started to invest in the handful of people who were bringing me joy, and I felt the most aligned when I did that. I realized that where I was three to four years ago is where a lot of people are right now, and they are experiencing this friendship deficit because they assume that they are grown up. They are spending time with people that they are just rolling with, and so that was when I realized that, and we did a lot of focus group work. We have taken a big research and experimentation approach to build this product. It was something that was filling a need and a gap that is continuing to grow, and I’m personally excited about it.  [20:10] Who do you think SQUAD is meant for?  Our user base is about 60% women and 40% men. The whole concept of friendship is rooted in vulnerability, and so for me to be your friend, you have to see me, and vice versa. I think that we have this concept of masculinity in this country and around the world where there is a kind of conflict with the whole notion of being vulnerable.  [22:00] How did you break the addiction of not going to the mass media and just talking to 12 people?  The interesting thing about it is that you can continue to create content for mass media, but the people who try it and have some elements of success at it also realize how lonely it is. There was this article that I released where I talked about the impact of social media on teenage friendships and the fact that they don’t understand the concept of friendship. So I think that is kind of introducing it to them in a big way that they are actually getting a lot of joy from. I think this is like giving them a feeling that they are enjoying.  [23:30] How did you choose the other 11 for your squad of 12?  For me, it’s like having best friends. They are the people we pin at the top of our text messages. People really get uncomfortable with making choices when they feel like they could potentially hurt somebody’s feelings, but the reality is that we have so much access to people all the time. [26:35] What are some of the dynamics that people have to navigate when it comes to anchoring and creating real relationships?  There is some hard work that goes into being vulnerable. I struggled with this for years. One of the things I talked about in my book is the fact that we have become excessive validation seekers at the hands of social media, and the thing about validation is that we need it in some way. Friendships don’t just happen; they require big investments, and I think that there are things like vulnerability and understanding that you need in a friendship. I also think that changes over time. I tell people all the time, to take one block of time out of their schedule every week or two weeks, whether it’s like brunch, and fill it with a row of friends.  [36:20] What are your thoughts on the NFL?  I don’t know much about how that works. I don’t know much about it.  [39:48] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  He promised to give the world a little bit more inspiration in your life.  Key Quotes [30:05-30:07] Friendships require intentionality.  [39:25-39-28] If you don’t use a tool, the tool will use you.    How to connect with Isa Watson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isadwatson/?hl=en  Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/isadwatson/with_replies  Website: https://www.isawatson.com/ 

In today’s episode, our guest is Jeff Lerner. He is a former jazz musician turned 9-figure entrepreneur passionate about helping people unlock their potential and create their dream lives by believing and developing themselves.  [3:20] Why should I listen to you?  Because I don't want to sell you anything other than what is possible for your life.  [4:10] What do you frame for people regarding what is possible for their lives and their inability to see past the first branch?  Initially, it's about getting calibrated on the voice you are listening to. We’re born without a voice, surrounded by people that have agents. We can wail and make sounds, but we can’t articulate words. We can't form our ideas immediately when we are born, but we are immersed in other people’s ideas. We develop the ability to formulate our ideas and our own vision for our lives but by then, we’re probably on other people’s programs. There is this concept that if you just hold on till you are 65 years old and you do all the things you’re supposed to do, eventually, we will give you a few years where you get to live your own program.  [6:04] How does a person realize they're in this kind of matrix-ish program situation?  I don't think it takes that long. I think that everybody could probably discover a completely different version of themselves within probably 24 hours. Walking alone, you change your life. You just gotta create some stillness. If you look at the world we are living in right now, if there is a decrease in anything, I think it is stillness. Just create some intention in getting to know yourself. Also, reduce the external noise so that your voice can actually be heard.  [8:58] What was your journey? Before I say anything else, I'd like to encourage anyone tempted to jump to conclusions to at least suspend judgment. I grew up around a fair amount of money, and I'm an only child. My parents worked all day and I just had the house all to myself, reflecting on the prosperity and security I was surrounded by while also developing a relationship with myself. There is a lot more to it than that but what can I say that,out doing too much revisionist or retroactive? I will just for whatever reason by the time I was a teenager, I had decoupled the idea of money and happiness. Those two were not the same for me and I think that alone gave me a different truck in life.  [12:45] Where did the grit come from?  Everybody has got grit but they don't succeed. So I grew up with that orientation. For me, the harsh answer is that grit comes from pain. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Whatever we endure over time can transmute into grit. One of the books I come back to a lot is a book by C.S Lewis called the “Problem of pain” and it talks about why a just God would allow so much pain and suffering in the world. I don’t presume to have that answer on a universal scale but I can say for myself, that I have suffered a lot. I suffered from bullying, weight problems, psychological abuse, and scorn for the choices that I made. I won’t say the world turned against me but I think they quietly rooted for my failure and I could feel that. The Latin word for suffering is patio which is the root of the word passion and I think that for some people, suffering can transition into a passion and drive and it can also break a person. I am fortunate that it went the former way.  [16:18] What was one of the first things that you faced and overcame back then that was the catalyst for the rest of them? Probably the biggest one happened right around 18. I look back and it was a sort of out-of-body time form. I dropped out of high school around 16 and I was really my former declaration to myself and the world that I am not going to travel the ordinary path. I'm going to go the road less traveled. My very rational idea was to find something to do. Essentially, academic credentials play no part in one’s success and as a dropout, it depends on my performance. I came up with the idea of playing the piano. My parents not only agreed but also bought me the piano to get started.  From age 18 to 20, I taught myself everything about music and I got 10 years of college paid for on a music scholarship as a high school dropout who was self-taught the piano for three years. I think from that, I proved to myself that if I bow down and don’t let down, I can do some kinds of stuff and I have to ride on that ever since then.   [20:34] How do we get to the role of what you do now, What were some of the lily pad frog jumps that got you here?  Being a musician, you are at the bottom of the hill that rolls down. Then You learn to fight if you’re ever going to get paid. Being in a band is like being an entrepreneur, where you’re trying to create harmonious energy among a group of people, and there is a much larger group of people called the audience, that you’re inviting into the energy that you as a tight-knit group are creating. That is a small business opening its doors to customers, and you learn about holding tension, managing energy, and keeping people aligned. If you can keep a group of musicians aligned in a way that draws thousands of people in, it’s not that different than building a team in a business. There is another part of it where, as a jazz musician, I essentially had certain constraints that were like tempo, the tune we were playing, the key we were in, and a certain amount of collective problem-solving skill. So the catalyst then was creating a template for entrepreneurship and artistry and showing how they are kind of two sides of the same coin. They just have a different value of opposition, and that was when the seed was planted.   [27:39] What were the first couple of businesses?  I have them written in a book, I list them all and I identified 11 that was significant enough for me to write about. There were 11 failures. I just failed, but it’s like when your currency isn’t money, your currency is freedom. Is it a failure when you try your own thing and it doesn’t work out? If I had been evaluating it through the traditional worldly lens, I probably would have quit. I tried being an estate investor; I tried promoting raves; I opened a sandwich shop. I had a bunch of different businesses; I was entrepreneurial, and I just didn't stop.   [30:16] What was the turning point that got you to the point where you got to a position financially where you are doing great and also helping other people?  The thing is, every time I start a business, I'm Convinced that it's the one. Let’s say business number 11 which I was convinced was this franchise restaurant. I took on about $600,000 in debt to get those off the ground. The point is, I was screwed. My wife got fed up with me. I got evicted from my apartment, and I ended up living at my wife’s parent's house. I will tell you that the great vexation of my life is that I can’t figure out how to get people to shift without them having to suffer so much. I bottomed out,  and I was up in the middle of the night looking at my computer and how to make money on the internet. I started teaching myself digital marketing, and I realized that I had an internal confidence that was organized around sitting at a keyboard. I learned digital marketing, and in 18 months, I paid off half a million dollars in debt.  [35:23] Share with people what it is in your words that you do now.  In 2009, I started figuring out this digital marketing thing online. Attending events, meeting the right mentors, meeting people who had traveled the less privileged path—all of these things helped me see ordinary people who had done what I was trying to do. had what I had been seeking, which was freedom. In 2012, I started a digital agency and started selling my digital skills to small and medium-sized enterprises all around the country. In six years, that agency was able to reach over 11,000 small and medium-sized entrepreneurs. In the last two years, I also started a side business that was a direct sales business that was driven online through software and a network of affiliates, and I did well. In 2018, I sold the agency, and at that point, I had had three consecutive 8-figure businesses that were all powered by the internet to some degree. After that, I looked around at all the people around me who, whether or not they have more money than I do, do not have nearly the quality of life that I do. They do not own their time, and I started putting out videos on how to be of help.  [47:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  When God gave me to the world, I think what he said was that I would be a case study of someone who transmutes hardship into service. Bear in mind that I'm not saying that as an absolute description of myself because that would be arrogant. I am stating that as a standard that I strive for every day.  Key Quotes [10:25-10:30] Most people think that there’s a certain financial situation that will result in happiness. [29:33-29:37]  You can fail 70% of the time and still make the Hall of Fame.  How to connect with Jeff Lerner Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jefflernerofficial/?hl=en  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jefflernerofficial/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/thejefflerner?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor 

How to Create and Achieve Your Goals with Jon Acuff In today’s episode, our guest is Jon Acuff. He is the New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including his most recent, Soundtracks, The Surprising Solution To Overthinking. For over 20 years, he’s also helped some of the biggest brands tell their story, including The Home Depot, Bose, and Staples. His fresh perspective on life has allowed him to write for Reader’s Digest, Fast Company, The Harvard Business Review, and Time Magazine. He lives outside Nashville, TN, with his wife Jenny and two teenage daughters. [3:57] Why should I listen to you?  I think you should listen to anybody, and that's brave enough to start talking. I think many people are interested so whether it's me or somebody else, let’s go… [5:28] Did you always have that kind of calm desire? I was a jerk in college, like in senior college, and I got involved in raves like so and so. No, but I wouldn't say that was a good decision. That was not a great period of my life. So no, I think the older I get, the more I go. I want to do a small degree of things I love, not a bunch of things I kind of like, so as I, you know, talk about it, people say they don't have enough time. But you usually have enough time for the small degree of things. It's just that you're spending a lot of time on things you kind of sort of like, so let's narrow that down a little bit so you can really focus.  [6:15] How did you figure out what you loved?  Well, a lot of it is self-awareness; you can’t achieve any goal or any sort of accomplishment without a degree of self-awareness. Because if you don't know how you operate, you just continue to make mistakes. An easy example would be that if you don't know you're a morning person, you'll schedule difficult tasks later in the afternoon and wonder why they're so hard. So for me, I don't do breakfast. because breakfast is too expensive, and that is self-awareness. It is paying attention to yourself.  [8:13] How can someone get into the flow of even knowing what to test and try?  I'm going to brainstorm as many things as I want. But then, as I get closer to actually doing the things I start to eliminate, I'm going to try experiments. I'm going to say, I've tried this for 30 days. "What really happened?" Was it worth it? Did it go the way I wanted it to? If there was a business function in which I felt fulfilled, where I served and helped real people but did not see progress,? If I don't, I'm going to eliminate it. The average American watches two months of television per year. Two months, dude. If you only watch one month of TV a year, you will still get to watch a whole month. There's a whole industry dedicated to you not doing things like Netflix doesn't want you to write a book. They care about your time, and their whole business is designed around maximizing your time.  [10:34] Did you have to go through some kind of crazy to find this nuance out?  So for me, the big shift was in my early 30s. I started a blog, and the blog started to gain a little traction, and I realized that it was important to me. I had a full-time job, two kids under the age of 4, and a beautiful wife. So I had to start stealing time. I had to get up at 5 a.m. I would practice speeches because I do probably 50 to 60 gigs a year. I would practice speeches on the drive to work. I just decided I'm going to be disciplined, I'm going to have grit, I'm going to have willpower, and I found something I wanted more than what I currently had.  People change for two reasons: a lot of pain or a lot of desire, and I'd rather it be a lot of desire. So once I had, like, a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, I started sprinting toward that tunnel. That's what changed it for me, I think. [15:10] When I want to film videos, I mentally switch between things. Have you ever had to train yourself that way too?  200%. I call those ginger moments. So the reason they serve ginger at sushi restaurants is to cleanse your palate between bites. So what I do is I need a “ginger moment" between these two activities because it's such a big switch, so I do a quick three-minute walk around the neighborhood or I listen to a song or whatever the moment requires. So that gives me time to think. I think it's also the same way. So I'll say this: We're about to transition in this podcast. We're going to need to write down whatever the two warnings are, but I think about it like that.  I'm not naturally great at switching, but I'm getting better at using tools that I've developed over time.   [17:20] How do you look at your life in harmony and have everything moved together smoothly?  Well, I love that work. That makes a ton of sense. Again, I think we agree on so many different things. It's such a fun way. It's why it's fun to have this conversation. I love harmony. You're right about balance. It's a myth. It doesn't exist. And so for me, the way I look at it is that I kind of look at it in seasons. So I know what one of my goals is each year. We did it last year and will do it again this year because I will be in the mountains with my family. When I'm there, I'm going to work a day and a half each week. I've got meetings, I've got some things, and I'm going to cram it all in and have kind of sprint days, but the rest of the time we'll be hiking with my family. How do I maintain that balance and respect the seasons, wherever I am? That doesn't make sense in a world where that doesn't work to explain what my most expensive month is. So I think that's how I look at Harvey. What season on my end is a book-reading season or a speaking season, and how do I ebb and flow within that state?  [21:03] How do you set goals?  Most people are really good at achieving goals and certain segments of their lives. Okay, I need relational goals. So one of my relational goals is to help my youngest daughter train for a half marathon. I wrote this book about mindset, and one of the ideas in there that a lot of people talked about is your thoughts turning. Your thoughts simply desire it, but they never change. But if I have a relational goal, it changes how I treat my family. One month, I said I was going to encourage someone for a month. I made a list of people, and then I would text them something. The content of the message goes thus: "Let's think about creativity." You always come to mind when I think about creative people. "I hope you're doing well." "You have no idea how much I needed that today," said 90% of them. So I believe that my podcast is titled "All it takes is a Goal" because I think that you care about a portion of your life.  [29:40]  How do you think people can develop that mindset to create momentum that doesn't exist?  So, for one thing, it's going to happen. Don't feel like a failure when it happens. Every goal sucks in the middle. Everything, like success, is boring in the middle. It's you doing a million. Nobody sees that there's nobody cheering. So it's going to happen, but what I like to do is create what I call a motivation portfolio. So what I like to do is walk people through an exercise called the middle week.  [35:40] Can you unravel your book?  When I work on an idea like this, I consider three things. One, is there a personal connection? Two, is it capable of producing something unique? Three: Is there a spot for me in the marketplace? The book teaches three things. One, how do you retire your broken soundtracks? Get rid of the ones that are in the way too. How do you replace them with new soundtracks? Your brain is waiting to be informed that there has already been a motion.  [48:00] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?  Three people were given talents. The first was five, the second person was two and the third was given one. The person with one talent buried his own while others doubled theirs.  One person buried it and missed out on it. So I like to tell people, "Let's grab a shovel." Maybe you buried a part of yourself; let's go get a shovel because there's more to you than you think. So I think he said, "Okay, I'm going to help you teach other people how to grab a shovel." Key Quotes [12:20-12:22] Your excuses cannot get bigger than the dream. [13:30-13:32] Time won’t find you; you have to find the time.    How to connect with Jon Acuff Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonacuff/?hl=en  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorjonacuff/  Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/jonacuff/with_replies