From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

Why do some people heal from betrayal and rebuild their lives, while others stay stuck in pain and resentment for years—or even decades? In this powerful episode, we speak with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, about the three groundbreaking discoveries from her PhD research on betrayal. Dr. Silber breaks down the specific symptoms of betrayal trauma, explains why time alone doesn’t heal it, and outlines the five predictable stages of healing she’s observed in over 100,000 participants. If you’ve felt like you’re stuck, looping through pain, or numbing out to avoid facing what happened, this conversation is for you. You’ll walk away with clarity, encouragement, and a path forward—no matter where you are in the healing process. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [02:15] – Why betrayal is a different kind of trauma that needs a different healing path⏳ [04:20] – The symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome—and why they linger for decades if unhealed⏳ [10:45] – What it really means to have “repeat betrayals” or to build emotional walls⏳ [14:45] – The four reflection questions to know if you’re numbing, avoiding, or stuck⏳ [20:15] – The five stages of Post Betrayal Transformation—and what to do in each stage⏳ [32:30] – Why trust can’t be repaired—but it can be rebuilt⏳ [35:00] – The truth about transformation and what’s possible on the other side of pain If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey! 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected: 🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Dr. Debi Silber:Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. The site: https://thepbtinstitute.com The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 293

After betrayal, it’s common for women to turn inward, blaming their bodies and questioning their worth. In this important conversation, we talk with Dr. Lauren Barnes, therapist, researcher, and director of clinical training at BYU’s Marriage and Family Therapy program. Dr. Barnes shares how her clinical and personal experiences led her to work with women struggling with body image and eating disorders. Together, we explore the connection between faith, culture, self-worth, and body image—especially in the aftermath of sexual betrayal. If you’ve ever felt the impact of betrayal show up in your relationship with your body, this episode will help you understand why it happens, how cultural and religious messages shape that experience, and what you can do to reclaim your body as a source of power, connection, and joy. What You’ll Learn in This Episode (with Timestamps):⏳ [04:30] – Why Dr. Barnes shifted from betrayal trauma to body image work⏳ [07:00] – How eating disorders and body image issues are often about control and connection⏳ [10:30] – Key findings from Dr. Barnes’ study on LDS women, faith, and body image⏳ [16:00] – How doctrine (like belief in divine nature or the Word of Wisdom) influences body image⏳ [17:50] – Surprising findings about cosmetic surgery and “costly grace” beliefs⏳ [30:00] – Why open conversations, community, and connection improve body image⏳ [32:30] – Practical ways to build a healthier relationship with your body after betrayal If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey! 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:|🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Lauren Barnes:Dr. Lauren A. Barnes grew up in the Pacific Northwest. During her graduate programs in Marriage & Family Therapy, she became particularly interested in working with individuals struggling with body image, eating disorders, and postpartum depression. During and after her PhD program, she worked as a therapist at Center for Change, a residential treatment center in Utah for women and girls struggling with eating disorders. Dr. Barnes is currently a Clinical Professor and the Director of Clinical Training for BYU’s Marriage & Family Therapy graduate programs. She also maintains a small private practice. She has researched and presented on family implicit rules in eating disordered and non-eating disordered families. One of her current passions is speaking at women's retreats where women gather and engage in various adventures from river rafting to canyoneering to hiking and stargazing while having conversations and classes about body image and intuitive eating.https://www.instagram.com/drlaurenabarneslmft/https://www.facebook.com/drlaurenbarnes/ The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 292

When betrayal strikes a marriage, the pain is immediate for the couple—but what about the children? In this powerful and eye-opening episode, we speak with Morgan Ellsworth, a board-certified betrayal trauma coach and MFT student, who brings both personal and professional experience to this often-overlooked topic. Morgan was a teenager when her family experienced betrayal, and she vulnerably shares what it was like to navigate that chaos without support or guidance. Today, she works with families, betrayed partners, and children affected by betrayal trauma, advocating for a whole-family approach to healing. We discuss how children experience betrayal, how parents can support them without oversharing or hiding the truth, and what it takes to repair the parent-child relationship over time. What You’ll Learn in This Episode (with Timestamps):⏳ [02:40] – Morgan’s personal story as a betrayed child and how it shaped her passion for this work⏳ [06:20] – The emotional climate children experience in a home affected by betrayal⏳ [08:50] – What it really means to “protect” your kids—and why hiding the truth can backfire⏳ [11:45] – How to talk to your kids about betrayal in age-appropriate, validating ways⏳ [21:00] – The role of emotional safety, non-gaslighting, and honoring kids’ intuitive reality⏳ [24:00] – Why you need to help kids find other safe adults to talk to⏳ [28:00] – Long-term ways to rebuild the parent-child relationship after betrayal If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey! 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Morgan Ellsworth:Morgan Ellsworth is a board certified coach trained in betrayal trauma who works with couples, betrayed partners, and families who are navigating the waters of betrayal trauma and recovery. She has walked her own journey of healing as a betrayed child and has seen how remarkable individual and family healing can be. Morgan is an APSATS candidate and marriage and family therapy student, and has additional training working with children and betrayed families. She is currently accepting coaching clients from all over the world and starting in January 2025 will be accepting clients seeking therapy during her clinical internships for MFT in Arizona. Morgan has a passion for this work and is dedicated to helping individuals and families like her own heal from betrayal.  https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team/#MorganEllsworth Instagram @healing.betrayed.families The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 291

What if the things you dislike most about yourself aren’t signs of failure—but invitations to heal? In this episode, I sit down with Haley Hinkle, associate marriage and family therapist and IFS-informed practitioner, to explore a compassionate and non-pathologizing way to understand the parts of us that act out, shut down, or sabotage. We dive into the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model—a powerful therapeutic approach that helps us relate to our inner world with curiosity, clarity, and compassion. Whether you’re dealing with betrayal trauma, relational conflict, anxiety, or self-sabotage, this episode will help you reframe your struggles and discover new ways to care for all the parts of you—especially the ones that feel hardest to love. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [02:55] – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) and why it’s not just “therapy talk”⏳ [08:15] – How parts of us get stuck in protective roles and where they come from⏳ [09:15] – The difference between “protectors” and “exiles” (and how they interact)⏳ [13:40] – How IFS helps us develop self-compassion and stop trying to “fix” ourselves⏳ [16:25] – The power of self-leadership: calmness, curiosity, compassion, and more⏳ [30:00] – How childhood wounds shape our internal system—and how to heal⏳ [34:30] – Practical tools to start using IFS in your daily life If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey! 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Haley Hinkle:Haley Hinkle is an associate licensed marriage and family therapist based in Eastern Washington. As a wife, mother, and advocate for authenticity in intimate relationships, she loves people and their stories. Her clinical work mirrors this as she often uses Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a framework to understand our multifaceted human experience. She runs a hybrid in-person/online private practice that specializes in couples counseling, anxiety disorders, and recovery from childhood trauma. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Latin American Studies and a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy, both from Brigham Young University.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/haley-hinkle-kennewick-wa/975026 The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 290

In this follow-up to our popular episode “What to Do When Your Partner Lacks Motivation,” we dive deeper into an important listener question: How do you tell the difference between a lack of motivation and a lack of ability in your partner? At first glance, these two challenges can look the same—lack of movement, stalled growth, avoidance. But understanding what’s really happening changes everything. In this episode, we break down the differences between someone who won’t move forward (lack of motivation) and someone who can’t (lack of ability or skill) and what it means for your relationship. We share personal stories, examples from our work with couples, and practical ways to recognize the difference—so you can respond in a way that creates connection instead of frustration. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [01:30] – The energetic difference between lack of motivation and lack of ability (and why it matters)⏳ [04:30] – How lack of motivation shows up as stagnancy, avoidance, and numbing behaviors⏳ [05:45] – What lack of ability looks like—movement, effort, clunky attempts, and vulnerability⏳ [7:40] – Why imperfect attempts still build connection and intimacy⏳ [10:45] – How motivation shows up when someone is pushing their personal edge⏳ [13:30] – The importance of appreciating progress, even if it’s not perfect or complete⏳ [20:00] – Why expecting your partner to think and act like you is a relationship killer⏳ [21:15] – The truth about real relationships: effort and caring matter more than perfection If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey! 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust  If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program  If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected: 🌍Website  📩Subscribe to My Email List  📍Instagram 🪧Facebook 🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 289

Healing from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey, but why do some people seem to heal and move forward while others stay stuck? In today’s episode, we welcome back Dr. Jill Manning, a renowned therapist, researcher, and speaker with over 20 years of experience in betrayal trauma recovery. Dr. Manning shares the key factors that help betrayed partners heal, as well as the common obstacles that slow down the recovery process. She offers practical steps to move through the pain and build a life of stability, connection, and renewed purpose—whether or not the relationship survives. If you’ve been feeling stuck in your healing journey, this episode will give you clarity, direction, and hope. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [03:00] – The rising severity of betrayal trauma and why cases are more complex today⏳ [08:15] – The 5 key factors that help betrayed partners heal (CAVED Framework)⏳ [15:30] – Why connection is essential and how isolation keeps people stuck⏳ [22:45] – The role of advocacy—having at least one person who truly understands you⏳ [28:00] – Why validation is critical and how to avoid minimizing your experience⏳ [34:10] – The impact of education—why learning about betrayal trauma helps you heal⏳ [40:00] – Why having a clear roadmap (direction) makes all the difference If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey! 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust  If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program  If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Dr. Jill Manning:Dr. Jill Manning is a distinguished clinician, speaker, researcher, and thought leader with over two decades of experience in addressing sexual betrayal, compulsive sexual behavior, and the impact of internet pornography on marriages and families. Her work has been widely recognized, with features in peer-reviewed journals, national television programs, documentaries, radio shows, podcasts, and publications such as The Oprah Magazine. As a Social Science Fellow in Washington, D.C., Dr. Manning was invited to testify in 2005 before a U.S. Senate subcommittee, where she delivered compelling testimony on the harms of pornography on the family. Her advocacy and expertise continue to shape the conversation around these critical issues. Originally from Calgary, Alberta, Dr. Manning now resides in Colorado, where she runs a private practice and leads monthly betrayal trauma intensives, offering specialized care and support to those affected by relational trauma.https://drjillmanning.com/https://drjillmanning.com/digital-downloads/https://drjillmanning.com/intensives/https://www.instagram.com/drjillmanning/ The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 288

Have you ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or unsure how to move forward—especially in your relationship? In this episode, we’re flipping the script from our last discussion on what to do when your partner is unmotivated and speaking directly to the partner who feels stuck. If you’re struggling with motivation, feeling overwhelmed, or comparing yourself to your more driven spouse, this episode is for you. We share why feeling unmotivated is a normal human experience, how to recognize if you’re actually doing more than you think, and most importantly, how to take small, imperfect steps forward—even when you don’t feel like it. This is a judgment-free conversation about growth, movement, and self-compassion. If you or your partner are feeling stuck, we hope this episode brings clarity and encouragement. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [03:00] – Why feeling unmotivated is normal (and why we all go through it)⏳ [06:45] – The importance of movement—even small, imperfect action counts⏳ [10:30] – How to recognize if you’re doing more than you think (you may not be as stuck as you believe)⏳ [13:50] – The impact of shame and comparison on motivation⏳ [16:00] – How to communicate with your partner about your struggles without feeling pressured or judged 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust  If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program  If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 287

When betrayal happens in a marriage, the emotional impact on a betrayed partner is overwhelming. But what about the children? How can a mother (or father) navigate their own healing while still being present for their children? In this powerful episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jenet Erickson, an expert in family relationships and maternal mental health. She shares research-backed insights into the connection between mothers and children, how emotional regulation plays a role in both healing and parenting, and why you don’t have to be a perfect parent for your child to thrive. If you’ve ever felt guilt or fear about how your trauma is affecting your kids, this episode offers hope, encouragement, and practical ways to show up for your children while also taking care of yourself. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [04:00] – The unseen impact of betrayal trauma on parenting⏳ [07:10] – The science behind mother-child attachment and emotional regulation⏳ [16:00] – The myth of shielding children from emotions—and why they need honesty instead⏳ [20:00] – How taking care of your own healing benefits your children long-term⏳ [24:10] – The power of small daily rituals (and why they matter more than hours of time)⏳ [26:00] – How healing is possible no matter how much time has passed⏳ [34:00] – Why your presence matters more than perfection in parenting Key Takeaways:✅ Children are resilient—they don’t need perfect parents, just present and emotionally engaged ones.✅ Healing yourself first is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.✅ Small, predictable moments of connection (like bedtime stories or shared meals) are more important than constant time together.✅ Children can handle emotions—what they struggle with is when their emotions are ignored or denied.✅ It’s never too late to heal. Even if your children are grown, your healing still impacts them in powerful ways. 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program  If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Jenet Erickson:Jenet Jacob Erickson is an associate professor in Religious Education at Brigham Young University, where teaches the Eternal Family (Rel 200) course as well as the Introduction to Family Process (SFL 160) course for the School of Family Life. The 5th of 11 children, she was raised on a small farm in Orem, Utah, where they did lots of music together. She received a PhD in Family Social Science from the University of Minnesota, after completing a bachelor’s degree in Nursing, and master’s degree in Linguistics -TESOL at BYU. She is a research fellow of both the Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies and has been a columnist on family issues for the Deseret News since 2013. She and her husband, Michael, have been blessed with two children, LaDawn (age 13) and Peter (age 10), who provide them unending opportunities for learning and joy. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jenet-erickson/designed-for-covenant-relationships/ The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 286

What happens when you’re motivated, driven, and actively working on personal growth—but your partner isn’t? In this episode, we explore the challenges of navigating a relationship when one partner struggles with motivation—whether due to personal crises, depression, or long-standing patterns of complacency. We discuss why this imbalance happens, how gender differences may play a role, and what you can do when your partner isn’t taking initiative in their own life. Whether you’re dealing with a spouse who lacks direction, struggles with personal responsibility, or seems stuck in shame or avoidance, this episode offers practical insights on how to stay focused on your own growth without losing connection in your relationship. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [01:25] – The challenge of feeling “unequally yoked” in motivation and life direction⏳ [02:00] – Why some people struggle with self-commitment and personal responsibility⏳ [03:15] – How men and women often respond differently to feelings of failure or loss of direction⏳ [09:50] – The two extremes: Over-independence (“You do you, I’ll do me”) vs. Over-dependence (“I have to carry you”)⏳ [15:20] – Healthy ways to support your partner without over-functioning or losing yourself⏳ [19:00] – The importance of boundaries, self-care, and focusing on your own life, goals, and well-being Key Takeaways:✅ You can’t force your partner to change, but you can focus on yourself and set healthy boundaries.✅ The imbalance of motivation in a relationship can create frustration, resentment, and emotional exhaustion—it’s important to name it.✅ Avoid falling into extremes: pulling away completely or over-functioning to “fix” the problem.✅ It’s okay to live your life fully while still caring for your partner—but without enabling their avoidance.✅ If your partner is making an effort, even in small ways, that can be a powerful sign of commitment. 🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust (link in bio)If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.  📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes  About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes. Episode 285

In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith, mental health, and agency—how our ability to choose extends beyond simple decisions and impacts how we respond to betrayal, anxiety, depression, and life’s unexpected challenges. Our guest, Brianna Holmes, is a therapist specializing in relationship issues, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum disorders. She also writes for Public Square Magazine and has published insightful articles on mental health and spirituality. Together, we discuss how agency is more than just free will—it’s deeply connected to truth, meaning, and the way we engage with our experiences. Whether you’re facing the emotional weight of betrayal trauma, struggling with mental health, or wrestling with faith-based questions about suffering, this conversation offers new ways to see your choices, reframe your experience, and reclaim your power. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:🔹 How agency goes beyond free will—it’s also about how we engage with truth🔹 Why feeling powerless after betrayal is normal and how to regain personal agency🔹 The role of faith and spirituality in healing mental health struggles🔹 How the meaning we assign to our experiences shapes our healing🔹 The power of asking better questions—to God, ourselves, and others🔹 Practical ways to expand our perspective and find peace in difficult circumstances Join Me in the Courageous Together Program! If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get: ✅ A structured healing roadmap ✅ Live Q&A sessions with me ✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets ✅ Confidential and secure access https://www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski. About Brianna Holmes:Brianna Holmes has a master’s degree in marriage, couples, and family counseling from Idaho State University and is currently a practicing therapist in Farmington, Utah. She is especially passionate about working with adults and couples navigating relationship issues, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum disorders. In addition to working as a therapist, Brianna works for a faith-based magazine, Public Square Magazine, as an associate editor and has published many articles focusing on mental health and a variety of other topics. Brianna is a wife and mother of four. She enjoys spending time with her family, reading books, and cheering for her favorite hockey teams. bholmes@publicsquaremag.org  The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.