I have decided to serialize my upcoming book, which is a family systems primer. Each week I'll read one chapter, finishing right around the book's release. This chapter is a reminder about what's important in life. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

The recent announcment by Prince Harry and Meghan to step back from the Royal Family provides a look into the Windsor family of origin. As with all families, intergenerational transmission and surrounding togetherness pressures are evident. Learning from their situation can help the rest of us grow as leaders. Show notes: The British royal family is struggling through scandals. Can ‘The Crown’ help? by Adrian Higgins Fact-checking ‘The Crown’: Is Prince Charles really pushed around by an unfeeling royal family? by Michael S. Rosenwald Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

If the Protocol for Separation in The United Methodist Church passes, it will require many congregations to have difficult discussions. Doing so in a way that minimizes surrounding togetherness pressure gives the congregation the best chance to do so in a healthy way. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

One of the most popular episodes focuses on a fundamental family systems concept. Self-differentiation is the key to effective leadership. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

A rule of thumb for dealing with anxious people and anxious situations is, "Don't argue. Don't agree. Stay connected." Deflection can help you do this. Show Notes: How to Deflect Difficult Questions in an Interview or Negotiation by Brad Bitterly and Maurice E. Schweitzer Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

This episode shares helpful research on how to make an effective apology. More importantly, it unpacks why this is important for the non-anxious leader. It's about taking responsibilty for self. Show Notes: Dr. Joseph Bentley's website Taming Wicked Problems Freakonomics Episode 353: How to Optimize Your Apology Success Story: Robert Fulghum vs. Beethoven by Joseph C. Bentley Ph.D Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it's FREE) Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

Different parts of our brain are responsible for how we respond to anxious situations. Understanding how they function can help us better self-regulate. Show Notes: The Concept of the "Triune Brain" by Andreas Komninos  THE EVOLUTIONARY LAYERS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN from mcgill.ca Amygdala hijack from Wikipedia Getting to Know Your Three Brains (five part series) by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSWPart 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5 Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

The Hot-Cold empathy gap predicts that our actions will not be what we think unless we are in the same emotional state. Understanding this can help us better prepare for anxious situations so we can be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: In The Heat Of The Moment: How Intense Emotions Transform Us from Hidden Brain Empathy Gap from Wikipedia Real Versus Imagined Gender Harassment by Julie Woodzicka and Marianne Lafrance Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety by Jack Shitama Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

Comparing ourselves to others often results in envy. This sometimes drives us to get better, but has significant downsides. Understanding how envy and empathy work can help us have healthy emotional connections in the systems in which we function. Show Notes: Feeding the Green-Eyed Monster: What Happens When Envy Turns Ugly from Hidden Brain Schadenfreude (Merriam-Webster) Empathy Is Tearing Us Apart by Robert Wright (Wired) Identity and Emergency Intervention: How Social Group Membership and Inclusiveness of Group Boundaries Shape Helping Behavior by Mark Levine, et. al. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.

The most effective leaders do a year-end review. Here are three approaches, including the one that I use. Doing a year-end review will take you about an hour. It will not only help you make the most of your 2019 experiences, it will help you prepare to get a great start in 2020. This month's theme in The Non-Anxious Leader Network is "Reflection." If you're not a member, join our free community to reflect on 2019 and focus on what matters most to you in 2020. Show Notes: Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead by Tim Ferriss Advice for Entering the New Year: The Yearly Review by Matt Perman Reviewing the Past Year & Looking Ahead to the Coming Year by Kathy Paauw One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks by Jack Shitama Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails.