

What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection
Greg Oliver
FOLLOW/SUBSCRIBE to download new episodes as they release!If it's true that "...the opposite of addiction is not sobriety...the opposite of addiction is connection," there are lots of people who need to discover what true, healthy connection looks like. Whether the struggle is with addiction, toxic relationship dynamics, or something else, we've all tried to meet our needs in unhealthy ways. Way too often, the things we run to for comfort leave us feeling even more disconnected and alone than before.Through conversations about the many ways we can connect, we offer an invitation to discover and move toward what we really want, so we can live the lives we were created for. Awaken (awakenrecovery.com) helps men and women whose lives have been wrecked by unwanted/addictive sexual behaviors and sexual betrayal trauma. We hope the podcast will help not only those struggling sexually, but anyone who seeks healthier ways of finding connection.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 23, 2024 • 50min
11 | Michael John Cusick: The Light is Brighter Than it Seems
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"For men and women seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, few people have been as influential or helpful as Michael John Cusick. Greg, Stacey, and Bobby all share some of our experiences with how Michael's book and podcast have been invaluable in our own path forward. Greg first met Michael in 2014 when he spoke at Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, AL. Michael is a therapist, author, and Founder/CEO of Restoring the Soul, a counseling practice that provides opportunities for life-changing breakthrough with licensed and experienced therapists. Their holistic approach creates an atmosphere of safety and grace where people can explore their relationships, identity, emotions, and spirituality. In 2012 Michael released the book Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggles. It, along with Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, has been extraordinarily powerful in helping people discover what needs they are actually trying to meet when pursuing broken behavior. The book contains a story (that Greg and Michael talk about) that's part of the reason for our podcast's name! Restoring the Soul offers individual and group intensive therapy experiences, as well as a blog, podcast, and other resources. Check out Michael's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts! Restoring the Soul website Restoring the Soul podcast Surfing For God book (on Amazon)Training Session at Beeson Divinity School (2014)#MichaelJohnCusick #RestoringTheSoul #SurfingForGod #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Jul 9, 2024 • 49min
10 | Drew Boa: Calling Out the Treasure
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Anyone who has interacted with Drew Boa knows he's a very special man. Drew loves people, and he has a gift for helping people realize how valuable they are. Some people's encouragement involves empty platitudes. Others give back-door advice disguised as encouragement. People who get to know Drew know he's paying attention - his words are thoughtful and specific.Drew founded Husband Material, a community that helps men outgrow porn and become mature through podcasts, videos, community, courses, and coaching. For men seeking freedom from unhealthy & unwanted sexual behavior, Husband Material provides a safe place to tell your story, ask questions, request prayer, make new friends, learn how to heal, and celebrate progress.When I was talking with Drew about how this episode's focus on connection was going to be encouragement, he told me he prefers to use the terms "affirmation" and "blessing." Before you dismiss this distinction as just semantics, listen and you'll see why the distinction is important. Our words have the power to build or tear down, and carefully chosen words of affirmation and blessing call out the glory of God in each person who is made in his image.Check out Drew's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!Husband Material Community web siteDrew's personal web site#DrewBoa #HusbandMaterial #outgrowporn #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Jul 2, 2024 • 43min
09 | Two Different Versions of Me (Bonus Story Episode)
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"I'm really grateful to be able to share this conversation I had recently with my friend Darren. He is an alumnus of the Roots Retreat, and for the past several years has been actively growing in freedom and recovery from sexual addiction.Darren shares very openly and vulnerably about some of the struggles he had that contributed to his life of addiction, and how his initial experience with recovery was half-hearted, primarily seeking to avoid consequence. He talks about his time at the Roots Retreat, and how it was pivotal to him getting in touch with deep wounds that had previously kept him from really seeking help and close, supportive connection. Darren's story has helped many people in his own recovery community where he lives, and we hope it will encourage you to seek out the people who will support you no matter what you're walking through.Check out our links below (including to the Roots Retreat), and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!#RootsRetreat #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Jun 25, 2024 • 42min
08 | Steve Brown: God's Not Mad at You
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Greg & Bobby have a conversation with one of their spiritual heroes. Steve Brown has been a pastor, a seminary professor, an author, and a radio host, among other things. Other than his rich, deep, booming voice, probably the best known thing about Steve is his steadfast commitment to preaching about grace, freedom, and the fact that "God is not mad at you."When many pastors and teachers are hesitant to preach "too much grace," Steve offers a refreshing take on how freeing it can be to really understand that for Christians, the shackles of righteousness by works have really been taken off. Living in the kind of grace and freedom Steve describes - while it risks abuse - also offers the opportunity to see the heart of God and to be drawn to it.Steve is such an encouraging person, and he talks about how so many of us lack sufficient encouragement in our lives. Words of life from people who know us...ALL of us, can invite us to stronger connection with others, with ourselves, and with God.Check out Steve's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!Steve Brown's books on AmazonKey Life (radio shows, articles, etc.)#SteveBrown #Keylife #GodsNotMadAtYou #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Jun 11, 2024 • 55min
07 | Jill Gullahorn: Trust the Process
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Stacey and Greg sat down with Jill Gullahorn at her dining room table to talk about life, pain, support, walking with others, and doing our own work. Jill knows a lot about all of these. She's a wife, mother of three, and therapist who has discovered the value of committing to a process of becoming a healthier person living in true authenticity and connection.Many people will also know Jill by her performing (and maiden) name, Jill Phillips. She has been recording and releasing incredible music since 1999. Be sure to check out her music using the links below. After begin involved in her own counseling, Jill decided to go back to school and become a counselor herself. She has also received extensive training in the Enneagram, which is an ancient approach to helping people understand their own particular way of relating to themselves and the world around them.Jill's work with clients includes walking with many women who have experienced sexual betrayal trauma, and she provides a safe place for them to experience discovery and healing. Check out Jill's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!Jill Gullahorn website (counseling site)Jill Phillips website (artist site) Jill Phillips music on SpotifyJill Phillips music on Apple MusicEnneagram Journey podcast with Suzanne StabileTypology podcast with Ian Cron#JillGullahorn #JillPhillips #enneagram #counseling #therapy #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Jun 4, 2024 • 47min
06 | Adam Calvert, James Horne, Jason McNaughton: Recovery Intensives
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.What is a recovery intensive? How is it different from weekly therapy or extended inpatient treatment? How could it help my recovery process? All of these are extremely good and important questions, and in this BONUS episode of What We Really Want, Greg enlists the help of three great friends and therapists who consistently staff the Roots Retreat Men's Recovery Intensive from Awaken.Adam Calvert, James Horne, and Jason McNaughton are all counselors who are specifically and extensively trained to work with clients around areas of trauma and addiction. They all have been part of staffing and developing the Roots Retreat since its inception in 2016. In this episode, Adam, James, Jason and Greg talk about why recovery intensives are so valuable, how their impact is different that that of ongoing individual therapy (and also complimentary of it), and why people seeking recovery from unwanted behaviors might want to consider attending.If you are a man who struggles with unwanted or addictive sexual behavior, and you think the Roots Retreat - or an intensive like it - might be right for you, please reach out to us with any questions. We'd love to help you find the right resources to support your recovery!Check out our links below (including the Roots Retreat), and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!#AdamCalvert #JamesBuddyHorne #JamesHorne #JasonMcNaughton #therapy #counseling #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

May 28, 2024 • 53min
05 | Isaac Adams: Honesty is the Oxygen
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.This episode is a real treat for Greg & Stacey, because our guest is also our pastor. Isaac Adams is the Lead Pastor at Iron City Church in Birmingham AL; additionally he is an author and founder of a non-profit organization called "United? We Pray," which encourages and equips Christians to pursue racial reconciliation.Isaac talks about his upbringing in Washington D.C., his journey to faith, and the difficult decision - as a Black man - to move to Birmingham (and all its painful history) to pastor his first church. The conversation covers a multitude of topics, eventually settling into a great discussion on the creative lies of our enemy, how hard it is to confess struggles within the church, and why it's so important we learn to do so. Christ is the vine and we are the branches, and as Isaac says in our conversation, "Honesty is the oxygen that makes the branches of the vine grow."Check out Isaac's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!Iron City Church (Birmingham AL) web siteUnited? We Pray web siteIsaac Adams' books on Amazon#IsaacAdams #IronCityChurch #United?WePray #gospel #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

May 15, 2024 • 52min
04 | Phil Herndon: The Language of Connection & Attachment
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Feelings would be great if they didn't make us feel so many things. Sometimes it seems like they are a nuisance, other times like they're just too much to bear. But what if we changed our relationship with our feelings and started to believe they were the megaphone telling us what our heart is experiencing and desires to experience? In this episode, Phil Herndon (counselor and Clinical Director at Tin Man Ministries) talks about how beautiful and valuable our feelings are, and how getting to know them is critical to living a healthy, connected life. Opening ourselves up to the full range of our feelings allows us to walk through life knowing that at the end, as we "walk off the field with our uniform dirty," we'll be able to know we really lived. Check out Phil's Tin Man link below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts! Tin Man Ministries website#PhilHerndon #TinManMinistries #feelings #emotions #therapy #counseling #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

May 1, 2024 • 1h 10min
03 | Andy Gullahorn & Gabe Scott: Clap, Snap, High Five
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Talking with Andy Gullahorn & Gabe Scott can be many things, but it is never boring. With dry humor and refreshing honesty, these great friends share how they've committed to intentional connection in their 20+ year friendship. Both Andy and Gabe are music industry veterans, and in recent years Gabe has added restauranteur to his resume, as founder of Ladybird Taco (with locations in Nashville and Birmingham AL). Since meeting in 2000, and alongside many life changes, their friendship has been a constant. Listening to how these friends have stayed connected, and how that connection helped keep Gabe tethered to hope during one of the hardest experiences of his life, is encouraging and inspiring. One longtime intentional part of Andy and Gabe's friendship is a weekly walking journey they take from their homes to give each other a high-five. April 30, 2024 marks the TEN YEAR anniversary of the high five. We talk about that, and much more, in this great conversation. Check out Andy's & Gabe's links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!CBS story on the High Five Andy's website Ladybird Taco (Gabe's restaurant)#AndyGullahorn #GabeScott #HighFive #friendship #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Apr 16, 2024 • 36min
01 | Greg & Stacey Oliver: What WE Really Want, part 1
"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Greg & Stacey Oliver (Co-Founders) and Bobby West (Assistant Director) of Awaken kick off this brand new podcast by sharing what WE really want listeners to experience. If the saying is true - "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety...the opposite of addiction is connection" - then recovery is more than just a focus on stopping or changing behavior. It's about discovering the deeper desires we all carry for deep and authentic connection. Awaken is a recovery community that helps people live the lives they were created to live, free from addiction and the damage it causes. Part of the way we support people in recovery is by inviting them to find out what they've really wanted all along.In this first episode, Greg & Stacey share their stories of how they came into recovery, and how people who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual betrayal trauma can connect with our community. Check out our links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!#Greg Oliver #StaceyOliver #BobbyWest #missions #missionary #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)