Beautifully Complex

Everyone needs grit for self-actualization. Without experiencing that we can do hard things and be okay on the other side, we don’t feel truly successful and fulfilled. Of course, we want this for our kids — we want them to have grit and to feel a great sense of achievement and purpose. So how do we foster grit in our kids (and ourselves, btw)? The short answer is that we allow failure and then learn and grow from it. As the executive director of SOAR, John Willson (or Big John as I and his campers know him) explains to us, it means that it’s imperative that we stop rescuing our kids too quickly. We must teach them to “fail forward,” as he calls it. We must step back and watch the hard thing happen to them or witness them really struggling with something, and then wait for the recovery and the sense of true accomplishment to hit them. Doability and support are crucial, of course. Listen in for the full conversation on helping kids build grit.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Our culture is pretty rigid and it calls for parents to be rigid in their parenting as well — you set rules and limits, kids break them, you punish them. But, this is not good parenting!  Kids do need structure but they also need the space to be authentically who they are and find their own path. Rigidity doesn’t allow kids to be true to themselves, it doesn’t allow parents to feel good about their relationships with their kids, and it doesn’t prepare kids for adulthood and independence. There is a better way.  Author of Calm the Chaos, Dayna Abraham, joins me in this episode to talk about why we need to shift from rules and limits and what we should shift to, boundaries and agreements, routines and plans. Listen in to learn a values-based family system and how to implement it in your family.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Parenting itself can be traumatic — it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders to protect your child while also teaching them to live their truth and live it fearlessly. When you add in neurodivergence, you amplify the stress, anxiety, and intensity. And your body holds onto that stress, anxiety, and intensity — it doesn’t feel safe and it signals you not just emotionally and mentally, but physically as well.  I’m honored to have the founder of The Biology of Trauma, Dr. Aimie Apigian, with me in this episode to discuss not only the trauma and what it may feel like for you in the ways your body is responding, but also the process of repair and healing. Listen in to also hear Dr. Aimee take me through two very short exercises to help relieve the stress and overwhelm right when it hits us the hardest. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

One of the struggles we hear from parents again and again is that their child lacks self-regulation. Being with a kid who can’t self-regulate day in and day out is challenging, no doubt. But you can help your kid calm and kids can learn to self-regulate — you just need the right strategies. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, outline five strategies to help your child get regulated or to foster their own self-regulation skills. Most of these can be woven into your everyday lives and things you’re already doing. Remember, when kids are regulated, their bodies and brains are able to engage and get things done, and they can feel good about themselves. Regulation is a key priority.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

It’s hard not to get overwhelmed when parenting neurodivergent kids. The chaos, the school meetings, the appointments, the seemingly never-ending need… it’s a lot to juggle. But what our souls crave — what we need to truly live — is joy, ease, and presence.  In this episode, Heather Chauvin of Emotionally Uncomfortable reminds us that overwhelm is just a symptom, not a lifestyle. Instead, focusing on how you feel and how you want to feel can create a transformation in your body, mind, and spirit. Listen in to learn how to take charge of your energy and how you feel.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Though our understanding of autism has greatly expanded, many autistic individuals are still missed or misdiagnosed. Not all autistics are severely outwardly impacted, like Rainman. Autism is a spectrum and it can show up in many different ways — even camouflaged.  In this episode, I’m talking with Donna Henderson, Psy.D. & Sarah Wayland, Ph.D., authors of the new book,  Is This Autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else. We talk through the diagnostic criteria of autism in a new way — through a lens of understanding the deeper nuances of each area and what those symptoms might look like in a child, adolescent, or adult who has less-obvious autism. Those who are hiding in plain sight.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

We talk a lot about strategies for when our kids get stuck, but what about us? Parents can certainly feel stuck too. I’m feeling it to the nth degree these days, and I’ve decided to share my current feelings of being stuck in the stuck of stuck and what I’m doing to slowly find my way out of that darkness.  In this episode I share my current stuckness, how doing simple things has been hard for me, and what my therapist is helping me do to feel better so I can do better. I hope that my openness in sharing some of my personal story helps you feel a little less alone and inspires a new perspective for yourself or your parenting.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by your child’s behavior, numerous possible interventions, school struggles, medication trials, and your feelings about all those things when you have a child with ADHD or autism. And we can’t live our best lives, or help our children live their best lives, when we’re overwhelmed and trying to do too much at once.  “We’re living in systems that make it hard for [parents of ND kids],” says Dr. Kelly Fradin. That inherently brings more difficulty to parenting complex kids. In this episode, Dr. Fradin shares strategies on both coping with the emotional aspects for parents and helping our kids develop and grow in their own time. It’s a process, and Dr. Fradin is here to help you with it.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

The rate of suicide in children is rising sharply, not at a true crisis point. It’s something we worry about as parents, and rightfully so. Especially when we’re talking about a marginalized population like neurodivergent kids. Conversations with our kids about suicide are paramount, but often avoided because it’s a really hard topic to think and talk about.  In this episode, Jonathan Singer, Ph.D., LCSW joins me to talk about suicide. As an expert in the field, Jonathan shares the latest statistics, why the epidemic is increasing, and what we can do about it. He also provides examples of the conversations you should be having with your kids.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.

Parents and teachers often worry that if they help a kid with lagging executive functioning skills that the kid won’t develop skills for independence — that they won’t be able to function on their own. But, the truth is, you can help a child with functioning skills and teach them independence skills. The first step is to replace doing things for the child with doing things with the child. In this episode, we talk about the difference between helping in a way that is enabling, versus helping in a way that is empowering. You can support and still teach a kid to be independent. In fact, that’s what good support actually does — it helps and empowers. Listen in to learn how to support a kid who struggles with time management, task initiation, planning, and organizing while also teaching skills and self-accommodations.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.