Practicing Polyamory Podcast

Trauma therapist, art therapist, and coach Joyous Williams discusses attachment theory and its application to polyamorous relationships. She explains the different attachment styles and provides tips on healing attachment wounds. Joy shares real-world examples of how anxious and avoidant types might interact and emphasizes the importance of breaking old patterns in polyamorous relationships.

TW: Conversion Therapy Practices (20:07 - 22:39) In this episode, we get to hear about Arin's experience with questioning their gender, going back as far as when they were five years old and realized that they were not quite fitting in like everyone else. Their experience with bullying inspired them to work with kids who are questioning their gender, helping kids navigate this oft-confusing path.  But it's not just kids who need help navigating, their parents often do, too!  Arin and I get to dive into what the internet has done to help the trans, non-binary, questioning community and how gender non-conforming kids are getting along in her therapy practice.  We get into some of the struggles someone might face when coming out, and what some reactions from parents might be. Here's where we hit the trigger warning.  We talk about some of the torture that people face when going through conversion therapy. Please skip from 20:07 to 22:39 if you are sensitive to this topic. We finish it up with some tips for parents of someone who is coming out, and get a chance to answer a listener question! I had so much fun with Arin and I know you will, too! Learn more about Arin at www.renewedmentalhealth.com and follow them @renewedmentalhealth !

In this episode, we dive into the healing power of kink with Sawah Danniels, a gender & polyam affirming therapist. We discuss incorporating geek/nerd culture into therapy, debunking kink myths, utilizing kink for healing trauma, and navigating scenes and roles. This powerful conversation explores the importance of consent, communication, and aftercare in kink and polyamorous relationships.

Is it sexy to ask permission for the first kiss? We think so! In this episode I get to chat with Jenna Trostle, a therapist based in Melbourne, Australia, and we get into some really deep discussion around consent (among other things). Jenna shares her story of what brought her to Australia and her journey through polyam, and how caring about the environment inspired her to pursue a career as a therapist. When it comes to consent, we talk about getting clear on what the connection with a person may or may not be, what happens when assumptions are made (we've all been there), and how to rescind consent when it's already been given. This was such a fun and valuable conversation and I know our audience will take a lot from this. Learn more about Jenna at www.spectracounselling.com and follow @spectracounselling !

Having my own background in business and entrepreneurship, I was really excited to chat with Mike today about all things personal finance. Mike's approach to financial coaching is based on attachment theory, so we dove into what people's relationships are with money and how it affects our polyamorous relationships. One big takeway from this discussion is that there's a difference between having real money challenges, compared how much money you FEEL like you have. Emotions around money can be very different, and it's important for people to recognize your own money story. Tune in to learn why Mike became a money coach for the polyam and LGBT communities, get some tips on planning finances within a polycule, and learn how attachment theory applies to money (are you avoidant, secure, anxious?) plus how privilege affects our relationship to money. Learn more about Mike at www.empathicfinance.com and follow him @mikepumphreymoneycoach !

In this episode I chat with Heather Spreadborough, a therapist who believes in you and your ability to recover from trauma. We start the conversation by defining exactly what trauma is, what it is and what it isn't--specifically the differences between grief, loss and trauma. My favorite part of this episode is how deep we got into the fascinating subject of EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. We got really deep into the science of why it works, who is a good candidate for EMDR therapy, and the importance of the trust you'll need to have in your therapist before starting EMDR. This was a truly fascinating interview and you won't want to miss it! Learn more about our guest at www.heathertherapy.com

Dr. Rachael Meir returns to the podcast and brings Kasey Kershner with her, giving us two out of three partners of a closed triad. When they met, Rachael and her husband were looking to find a special connection together, and Kasey had been through a previous relationship that was heavily influenced by couples privilege and was marred by heartbreak. Tune in to hear about how the trio came together, fell in love and decided to live together after just 12 days, and what the three went through individually and together throughout their journey so far. Hear about how Rachael and Aaron have worked to deconstruct their couples privilege and invite Kasey in as an equal partner, and considerations Kasey made to ensure that she would not be treated like a unicorn being hunted. An absolutely amazing conversation with these two amazing ladies that you won't want to miss! Follow them and learn more @triadandtrue !

This was an excellent episode with therapist Heather Garner out of Towson, Maryland. We covered a ton of great material in this episode, such as what to expect as a polyamorous parent, how kids benefit from having more adults around, and reasons why poly parents might often get criticism from society. We get into coping with heartbreak by asking how to work through a breakup when children have developed an emotional attachment to partners, and some guidelines on how to introduce partners to our children, too. Learn more about our guest by going to www.garneringchange.net and follow on IG: @garnering_change !

Today we get to hear from an awesome online creator and educator, @Annie_Undonr (Annie Whitman) whose unique style makes her content super engaging and easy to digest. She's on a mission to help others realize that, "You deserve to be yourself." Annie's done such a wonderful job chronicling her journey and creating content as she has processed her feelings around the things poly folx go through. Things like going on a date with someone new, experiencing NRE, managing jealousy when her partner goes on a date, and coming to the realization that maybe polyamory fit her more naturally, but never knowing it was an option. We also talk about her recent experience of being unwittingly outed to family, the fallout she's experiencing, and how she's coping with the family members with whom she wants to maintain relationships. We had so much fun chatting, and there's a lot of great nuggets in this episode, so don't miss out! Learn more and follow Annie on IG/Reddit: @Annie_Undone !

Okay, so this was fun! There was a scheduling snafu that ended up with me starting on one topic and shifting gears 4 minutes in when our guest, Maria Carrington, popped in! Maria has developed a course intended to teach therapists about kink and BDSM, and demystifying the belief that these practices are at the root of mental health problems (they're not). We talk about the questions you might want to ask your therapist to make sure they're sex positive and affirming, recognizing biases that your mental health professional might be carrying, and what may or may not be included in the psychology bible, aka the DSM-V. Learn more about our guest at www.nwsextherapy.com!