ADHD-ish

In this podcast episode, I'm sharing my honest experiences of what I’m calling the current "Crisis of Confidence" among female business owners, grappling with the conflicting marketing messages, false promises, and broken systems that have left them feeling paralyzed and uncertain who they can trust to help them move forward.This crisis is a result of the mass confusion and hysteria caused by the false promises of success in business ownership, the lack of funding and business loans, the exhaustion of keeping up with marketing messages, the difficulty of consistently creating quality content, and the distrust of female business coaches, consultants, and course creators. A no-BS approach and trusting in one's own inner wisdom is important in order to have a successful, sustainable business."If you have been duped, taken advantage of, lied to, really screwed over by a female coach or consultant or course creator, I am deeply sorry that you experienced that. And I want you to make a commitment to yourself that you are not going to maintain that as your frame of reference for getting help in the future."In this episode, you will learn the following:1. What is causing the Crisis of Confidence among Female Business Owners? 2. How is the Pandemic Affecting the Business Landscape? 3. What Strategies can Help Women Business Owners Rebuild Their Confidence and Regain Their Ability to Trust Themselves?If you’re sick of the struggle and are ready to move forward with expert guidance support & accountability, here’s how you book a free consultation with me for 1:1 coaching:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQOther episodes you'll enjoy:Owning Who You're Not & Fully Embracing Yourself: Unpacking Nicole Kalil's Confidence Journey - http://bit.ly/3jFv6QqThe Anti-Hustle Approach to Business Growth with Jadah Sellner - https://bit.ly/3POVTpeWhat to Expect During a Free Consultation - https://bit.ly/3kO7Z6hOther resources:  The Real Cost of Hustle Culture:  https://bit.ly/3Cw3nbvConnect with me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachdiannwingert/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://kite.link/U1uN6ZRChapter Summaries:[00:00:01]Last week we featured an amazing guest interview with Nicole Kalil. Do yourself a favor and listen to that episode right after you listen to this one. I decided to record this episode after relistening to that interview.[00:00:46]The crisis of confidence among female business owners. If it feels like 2022 was actually a harder year for you as a business owner than 2020 or 2021, that's a reality. Business ownership is hard. There are a lot of moving parts. In her book, She Builds, Jadah Sellner talks about her idea of a female-centric model for business ownership.[00:10:12]As women business owners, we are not feeling confident about our ability to have successful sustainable businesses. Many of us are not confident in knowing how to get whatever help we need. We can't with confidence even turn to each other for help. That's a broken system, my friends.[00:19:00]If you have been duped, taken advantage of, lied to, or really screwed over by a female coach or consultant, you will recover. One of the things I really want to encourage you to work on recovering quickest is your ability to trust yourself.

Nicole Kalil shares her story of birthing her book, exposing the ironies of achieving success through a masculine lens and the personal journey of overcoming false confidence to ultimately become more trusting of herself."I can't tell you how much of the confidence builders were required and necessary to write this book and to put it out there, and how much of the confidence derailers came up on a very regular basis. When we were editing, perfectionism was all over the place.  Pure head trash, like "will people even like this book." Nicole Kalil is an author, speaker, and leadership coach who has dedicated her work to helping women build their confidence and reach their full potential. She is the author of the book "Validation is for Parking" which explores the journey of self-discovery and embraces the unique gifts and talents of each individual.We talked about how Nicole had a dream of writing a book for years but allowed fear to hold her back. Eventually, she realized her reasons were just excuses and took the leap. She eventually learned to trust herself, overcome the false messages of society and recognize her unique abilities while understanding that her worth lies beyond her physical appearance and pursuing success through the masculine lens. In this episode, you will learn the following:1. What is the difference between confidence in men and women?2. What is the 'confidence con' and how does it hinder women?3. How can we raise confident humans in a world full of mixed messaging?Resources mentioned in this conversation:Elyse Archer’s Podcast “She Sells”: https://elysearcher.com/podcast/Jill Savage’s books on perfectionism: https://nomoreperfect.jillsavage.org/Want to connect with Nicole?:Get Nicole's Book "Validation is for Parking": https://nicolekalil.com/bookListen to her podcast: https://nicolekalil.com/podcastCheck out her website: https://nicolekalil.com/Other episodes you'll enjoy:Episode #80 The Not-so-Secret Secret of Confidence with Nicole Kalil - http://bit.ly/40bNpNtEpisode #126 Creating Confidence Through Personal Styling with Scarlett de Bease -  http://bit.ly/3XN5j7yEpisode #114 Becoming Confident on Video with Helen Polise - https://bit.ly/3Io2HWUConnect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5qFHTPZTAxtYvVLyip3h0ALoved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://the-driven-woman-entrep.captivate.fm/reviewWant to become more confident and learn to trust yourself, and move past the hurdles holding you back in your business?I have two more spots for my 12-week 1:1 coaching program., and the first step is to schedule a free 30-minute consultation right here:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQChapter Summaries:[00:00:01]There are so many fabulous women out there that I am dying to interview and have as guests on this show. So it is my pleasure to reintroduce you to Nicole Kalil . The latest is that she's published a book with the genius title, "Validation is for Parking."[00:00:39]The process of writing a book has been on my bucket list since ever. Part of the reason I wanted so much to do this is that we are learning so much about what it is to be professional, successful, and confident from the masculine lens. I wanted to provide a balance to that.[00:02:52]The book was messy and in some cases really ugly and draining and exhausting and fulfilling and joyful and scary. In hindsight, there were so many conflicting and contradictory emotions that at one point in time, she went numb. I'm proud of the book itself, but the experience and full transparency is not something I would look to repeat.[00:04:54]Would you say that writing the book and getting it out into the world has been a confidence builder? Without a shadow of a doubt, yes. And I'm so grateful for that part of it because it made me connect.[00:07:12]When it comes to confidence, it is absolutely a choice. It is a process over time that continues to evolve. We need to stop telling women how to look confident and start talking about how to become it.[00:10:05]The author felt like a fraud after getting a big promotion. What women don't understand about confidence is what makes us susceptible to the con. The external source of approval turns us all into people, pleasers on the outside and self-loathing doubters on the inside. Her favorite chapter in the book is chapter five, own Who You're Not and Embrace Yourself.[00:13:59]My working definition of confidence is when you know who you are, own who you're not, and choose to embrace all of it. We're watering down our unique abilities and talents by trying to spread ourselves so wide as opposed to narrowing. Recognizing that gives me the opportunity to be more of myself.[00:17:45]The more you spread yourself around, the less you can actually show up in any of those places. By 60, women are actually more confident than men. Do you think that it's possible for women considerably younger than us to reach the same level of confidence as a woman who's closer to 50?[00:29:51]Nicole: I don't believe there is such a thing as being too confident. When you think about the "too much" being arrogance or ego or even narcissism, none of those things are confidence. Those things are just a mask for a whole host of insecurities.[00:31:46]confidence is when you trust yourself. Is it different for a woman in a male-dominated job industry company versus one where there's a lot more women? There are differences between the more male-dominated industries and the more female-dominated ones.[00:37:39]Swimmers have a totally different relationship with risk and failure than those who did not have experience in competitive sports. My daughter is nine and she's just starting to get involved in things. I want to create an environment of curiosity and discovery. I cannot think of lessons that are more important for all children to learn.[00:41:02]But you have now hit another milestone in your career. There's so much of an ethos right now in our culture about every woman needs to be an entrepreneur. But sometimes you need to savor. Sometimes you just need to stop for a minute and recalibrate.[00:42:20]The author says she is entering the year in a recharge, relax, and restore place. Her journey is always looking within, trusting herself. It'll be really interesting to see where self-trust takes you.

One of the practices in the coaching industry that I really dislike is the Discovery Call.  It sounds harmless, but most coaches have been trained to use manipulative tactics to "close leads" on these calls because what they don't tell you is that the purpose of the discovery call is for you to discover that you are in trouble and that coach is your solution.  Period. A free consultation is a way for potential clients to discover if the coach is the right fit for them and for the coach to determine if the client is adequately prepared to have a successful coaching outcome. It is different from a discovery call because it focuses on the client's needs, rather than the coach's agenda. I use a free consultation very intentionally.  I first started doing so as a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in my former career and incorporated it into my practices as a coach. I will not pressure the consultee to become a client, and I will not promise anything that I cannot deliver. I will provide guidance and advice, even if we are not a fit, and I will provide referrals to someone else if need be. I am taking on two more one-on-one clients, so if you are interested, don't wait and book your free consultation now.  The link to do so is right here in the show notes, below. "Applied knowledge is power."In this episode, you will learn the following:1. What are the hard-hitting tactics used by coaches to convert leads into sales?2. What is the difference between a discovery call and a free consultation?3. How can applied knowledge, rather than just knowledge, be used to move the needle in your business or life?Book a free consultation with me:https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQLoved this Episode?  Here are a few others you'll enjoy:Episode #141: Stop Getting Ready & Take Action Now - http://bit.ly/3XCQ2GsEpisode #139: How to Know if You're Coachable - https://bit.ly/3Q9H7cvEpisode #129: There is No Magic Pill - https://bit.ly/3TgUSH7Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://kite.link/https-www-diannwingertcoaching-com-podcastChapter Summaries:[00:00:01]The purpose of a discovery call is to help potential clients discover that they need help in reaching their goals. Most coaches who sell high-ticket programs are not successful at ensuring that you, the potential client, get value for what you've invested. Many business owners are choosing to struggle rather than risk hiring another coach that doesn't actually help them move forward in their business.[00:04:21]Business owners are choosing to struggle and suffer on their own rather than risk hiring help. What is the difference between a discovery call and a free consultation? Applied knowledge is power. Learning without action is never going to move the needle in your business or life.[00:11:18]If you decide to schedule a free consultation with me, here's what to expect. I will not invite you to become a client if I do not believe you are ready to work with me. Because I'm working exclusively one on one at this time, it gives me a lot of freedom to customize the way I work, focusing on your specific goals, in a way that suits your needs and preferences.

Today's guest, Kim O'Hara was a Hollywood movie producer and screenwriter before transitioning to book coaching over 8 years ago.  Kim believes that everyone can write a book and that they often discover more about themselves through writing. Writing a book is much different than other forms of communication as it requires a transformation of identity and letting go of preconceived notions about ourselves and the book we are meant to write. Kim works with experts and thought leaders to help them write their books and believes that the process can lead to a great sense of both discovery and visibility.In this episode, you will learn the following:1. The transformation Kim went through from movie producing and screenwriting to book coaching 2. What is the divide between people who say they want to write a book and those who actually do?3. How does writing a book require a transformation of identity?Mic Drop Moment: "Letting go of what you thought your book should be about is one of the greatest gifts you can give a reader." - Kim O'HaraWant to connect with our amazing guest, book coach Kim O'Hara?Website: https://www.kimohara.com/Podcast: https://www.kimohara.com/podcastsBook coaching services: https://www.kimohara.com/reach-outMentioned in this episode:Episode #129  There is No Magic Pill - https://bit.ly/3TgUSH7 Kim’s client, divorce coach Kristen Noel https://www.kristennoel.com/best-self/Other episodes you will enjoy:Episode #115  What is Your Unfair Advantage? - https://bit.ly/3PvhvpaEpisode #71 The Confidence Habit - https://bit.ly/3LmDFY9Is this the year you commit to eliminating the obstacles in your business that are holding you back?   I have a few spots open NOW to work with me 1:1 through the 12-week Boss Up Breakthrough framework.  The first step is scheduling a free, 30-minute goodness-of-fit call by clicking here:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQ Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/ Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://kite.link/https-www-diannwingertcoaching-com-podcast Chapter Summaries:[00:00:01]Kim O'Hara is a book coach to bestsellers who help high achievers write excellent books. I'm steeped in creativity all day long. This isn't your first rodeo, as they say.[00:00:46]When she moved into book coaching, the biggest transition was from fiction to nonfiction. She had gone from filmmaking through a divorce to single parenting two small children. You're exposing yourself in a way that is different than anything else you've ever done. Letting go is one of the greatest gifts you can give a reader.[00:14:18]A book gives you visibility, it gives you credibility. She disagrees with the idea that everyone should write a book. [00:18:34]I have no way of knowing if a book is going to be successful. All I know is the energy of that client. I see a successful model in them. [00:19:40]There are people out there that literally will never think about writing a book. Just like I probably will never really play golf. Though I tried, it does not look fun at all to me.  According to Kim, I should. Direct quote: "You 100% should."[00:20:50]Does your book need to mirror your business?  If you're dealing with a coach or a consultant, which direction would you encourage them to go?[00:27:20]A lot of people are going towards self-publishing. Would there be times when it would be more advantageous for them to self-publish than try to get a deal with a traditional publisher when they have no platform?

This episode is all about a lesson I learned the hard way in my own business and want to help you learn it quicker: Taking Action vs. Getting Ready.  What I learned is that getting ready doesn't move the needle and that there is no participation trophy in business. I learned to trust my instincts and to have specific benchmarks to know when enough preparation and planning are enough.  We also need to be leaders to our clients and team by taking action, not just focusing on our mindset. Furthermore, we need to stop overdelivering and undercharging and be mindful of not getting lost in researching and overcomplicating our ideas. "There is no participation trophy or attendance award in business. It just doesn't matter.  Women business owners are first and foremost women. And because we're women, we have all been culturally conditioned to think that we're not enough. This belief can make you stuck in an endless cycle of getting ready instead of pulling the trigger. "In this episode, you will learn the following:1. How can women stop getting ready and start taking action in their businesses?2. What are the signs to look out for that you are spending too much time getting ready instead of taking action?3. What techniques can be used to overcome the cultural conditioning of not feeling enough and start trusting yourself and leading?Other episodes on this topic: Episode #121 - The Cure for Imposter Syndrome https://bit.ly/3AnPBWeEpisode #123 - Does Your Business Need You to Boss Up? https://bit.ly/3x9TInQEpisode #103 - How to Deal with Fear, Uncertainty & Doubt https://bit.ly/3Mp4sDZIs this the year you commit to eliminating the obstacles in your business that are holding you back?  I have a few spots open NOW to work with me 1:1 through the 12-week Boss Up Breakthrough framework.  The first step is scheduling a free, 30-minute goodness-of-fit call by clicking here:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQ Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/ Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://kite.link/https-www-diannwingertcoaching-com-podcastChapter Summaries:[00:00:02]Stop Getting Ready and Start Taking Action is a hard-hitting, no-BSing solo episode. Most of the people that I work with as a consultant, coach, and business strategist are not beginners. You might be surprised how many people with years, even decades of experience can still get caught up in this trap.[00:01:34]Women business owners are first and foremost women. There is no participation trophy or attendance award in business. You need just enough planning to get you into action.[00:09:07]Early-stage solopreneurs get caught up in spending an inordinate amount of time choosing their logo, fonts, and brand colors, and creating their brand board. If you're consuming too much information and not taking action with it, that's a sign in general, being a follower instead of a leader.[00:16:26]As women, we are culturally conditioned to think we're not enough. We tend to over-deliver in our business and under charge. Your clients need to be impressed with themselves and what they can accomplish with your support. You do not need another course, or another certification if you haven't taken action.[00:25:46]If you are prone to overthinking, set a time limit. How much time does this idea need to be fleshed out to a minimum viable size and then take action? Remember, your first step doesn't have to be a big one.[00:27:30]The mindset is committed to creating the minimum viable product. What is the smallest thing that I can create and then offer to the minimum viable audience?Do that and then you can test and tweak. That's how we avoid spending an enormous amount of time and energy creating something that doesn't sell.[00:29:47]Getting into the right rooms, both physical rooms and online rooms is really important. Most new business owners tend to only hang around with other business owners. Consider joining some mixed-gender groups. You may be able to make all of these changes on your own. But if you need more support, consider partnering with me.

The story of how Amber de la Garza came to be a guest on this podcast is not the typical one.  It started over 3 years ago at Podcast Movement 2019.  I was a listener to her popular productivity podcast, Productivity Straight Talk, and recognized her at the conference.  Even though I did not have a podcast at the time, I approached her, introduced myself, and pitched her on the spot.   Amber has branded herself 'The Productivity Specialist", so you know she is intentional with her time.  She graciously accepted my pitch, on this condition: "Launch your podcast, get to 100 episodes, and then, I will be your guest."   Well, I've never been one to shy away from a challenge from someone I respect, so this interview, in episode #140, is the fulfillment of Amber's promise.  It's also a great lesson for those who need challenge and accountability to kick their motivation into gear. Amber De La Garza is a sought-after speaker, trainer, writer, coach, and creator of The Leverage Lab, who helps entrepreneurs and small business owners learn to manage their time and build effective business systems.  She is the host of the Productivity Straight Talk podcast, wife, mom, dog mom, and calls Las Vegas home. "The skill set of learning to invest your most precious resource, which is time, was incredibly valuable. The idea and identity of The Productivity Specialist was born." In this episode, Amber shares how her past career and life-changing events led her to focus on helping small business owners with their productivity, which leads to the concept of being the bottleneck in one's business, why it can be difficult to recognize, and why it tends to be a recurring pattern.  You will learn the following:1. What is the skill set of learning to invest your most precious resource, time?2. What would happen if a business owner becomes the bottleneck in their business?3. What life lessons can be gleaned from making difficult decisions about how to manage time and invest in team members? How to connect with Amber:Website: https://amberdelagarza.com/Podcast: https://amberdelagarza.com/podcast/Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amberdelagarza/Free time management mini-training: https://amberdelagarza.com/training/tbyt/ Other episodes on productivity & getting out of your own way in your business: Episode #137 The Hidden Reasons You Aren't Reaching Your Goals - https://bit.ly/3HuTsG5 Episode # 99 How to Create a Distraction-Free Business - https://bit.ly/36gQmW9Episode # 85 Setting Boundaries Like a Boss - https://bit.ly/3e3rCAR Is this the year you commit to eliminating the obstacles in your business that are holding you back?  I have a few spots open NOW to work with me 1:1 through the 12-week Boss Up Breakthrough framework.  The first step is scheduling a free, 30-minute goodness-of-fit call by clicking here:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQ Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/ Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://kite.link/https-www-diannwingertcoaching-com-podcast Chapter Summaries:[00:00:01]Today's guest is Amber de la Garza, the productivity specialist. The two accidentally bumped into each other in 2019 at Podcast Movement. She's been a guest on her podcast, and now she is now a guest on mine. I have so many questions for you.[00:01:32]In her past life, she did business coaching for real estate agents. After having her son, she started consulting. What she specialized in was productivity, efficiency, and teaching team members how to communicate effectively. There was born the productivity specialist.[00:04:49]This is such a great answer because I realized that moment of fascination for you. True productivity is not about getting more done, it's about getting the right things done. I also think that calling yourself the productivity specialist, I hope makes people curious.[00:06:21]Our topic today is about being the bottleneck in your business. Most people who are the bottleneck have no idea they are. A lot of the personality traits that most entrepreneurs have tend to make them more likely to be a bottleneck. If you can acknowledge that you're the bottleneck, you can make difficult decisions.[00:10:38]Lake: What happens when the business owner is the bottleneck? Why don't they recognize it? And why does it tend to become a recurring pattern? Lake: Are you letting those thoughts dictate the decisions you're making in your business?[00:19:38]The feeling of needing someone and depending on someone and what we make that mean, I see that as a huge bottleneck. For a lot of people, they are the face of the business. How do you handle your role and how do you still serve your clients?[00:25:21]Amber: If you stop listening to what it is you want, you won't build a business that supports that. For me, the last four years I have taken anywhere between eight and twelve weeks off a year. I have different goals now, and so I've tweaked my business to support that.[00:30:28]Sometimes the bottlenecking is happening because we actually mistrust ourselves. Is it true that you can learn to delegate? Absolutely. You don't need to have all your systems in place to hire. That little gut is telling you what might be the next priority to solve.[00:38:15]There's a sense of loss of identity when we let go of things. What would my new role look like? Write that job description. Two places you should be letting go of something, things that you are not good at. We are our most productive selves when we show up our best selves.[00:41:28]Most people spend most of their lives in their zone of excellence. Where I find people have the hardest time letting go is usually a lot of sunk cost. First, see for yourself what role you want and what you want to be doing. Ask for help on who has done that transition before.[00:47:17]Amber: Give yourself permission to evolve. You acknowledge that loss may be uncomfortable, but you allow it in service to your continued growth. Entrepreneurship is the biggest personal development journey we can go through. Tell people how you would like to be found by them.

The beginning of a new year tends to be a time when business owners think about hiring a coach to help them move their business forward. At such times, most people focus on the credentials and credibility of the coach they are thinking about hiring, but in this episode, I share something even more important than that, determining whether you are even coachable.  This episode is about coachability: how to determine if you are ready for a coach and if hiring a coach would be beneficial for you.  In my own entrepreneurial journey, I learned that being coachable is not a set-and-forget situation, but changes over time and can depend on the circumstances.  We will dive into the three categories of coachability using my system -red light, yellow light, and green light - so you can make a truly informed decision on whether to hire a coach. Want to unlock the key to a successful coaching outcome?  Find out if you are coachable now and learn how to become more coachable if you’re not. "Don't fall for the magical thinking that you're going to get great results simply because you hired a coach with a hefty price tag. You get the results based on coachability, the goodness of fit, and taking action. "In this episode, you will learn the following:1. What is coachability and how do you know if you are coachable?2. What are red light, yellow light, and green light indicators to determine if someone is coachable?3. What are the steps to becoming more coachable?Other episodes you'll enjoy:Episode #135 -  “Business Coach, Consultant or Strategist: Who Do You Need?”  https://bit.ly/3ivH3azEpisode # 113 -  “Using an Application Process to Find Your Ideal Clients” https://bit.ly/3nsBM2AMy Guest Interview on The Small Business Podcast: “Don’t Hire a Coach Until You Do This”:  https://apple.co/3MIEhJMAdditional Resources mentioned in this episode: Mindset by Carol Dweck: https://amzn.to/3hOz34t Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/Website: https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/ Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: Apple: https://apple.co/2BZDFzcAndroid: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-driven-woman-1194485 You already know you can only learn so much from a podcast, no matter how generously the host shares their wisdom.  Just imagine how different your business could look in 2023 can look if you get started right away.  I work with a limited number of clients at a time, so if you’re ready, don’t delay. If you are ready for a hybrid strategist + coach, like my approach, and think we might be a fit,  there’s a link in the show notes to book your free consultation.  https://calendly.com/diannwingert/free-consultation If this was helpful, share it with someone who needs it.  Be sure to subscribe or follow The Driven Woman Entrepreneur on your favorite podcast player so you will be notified automatically next week when I share the mic with Amber de la Garza, The Productivity Specialist, top-ranked coach, speaker, and host of the Productivity Straight Talk podcast. In the meantime, stay driven, woman entrepreneur! *************************************************************************Chapter Summaries:[00:00:00]This is the very first episode of 2023. The episode is called how to know if you are coachable. Each of us varies on how coachable we are, depending on the situation. We need to have good guidelines for ourselves for who we choose to work with.[00:02:19]The most important thing to consider is whether you're even coachable. Don't fall for the magical thinking that you're going to get great results simply because you hired a coach with a hefty price tag. For this episode, we are going to focus on you, not your coach.[00:09:36]Someone who can't make decisions or makes decisions impulsively or second guesses all of their decisions endlessly. Next up, a deficiency in critical thinking and strategic thinking when it comes to business. Working with a coach, a consultant, or a strategist in your business requires some faith in the process and a willingness to be vulnerable.[00:12:55]A coaching relationship is a focused relationship with specific rules, roles, and responsibilities. If you can't communicate with the person you've hired, you're wasting your money and time. People whose answer to every question is, I don't know, don't hire a coach. The person who wants a guarantee is also a red light situation.[00:18:30]If you identified with any of these scenarios, you're not a bad person and you are not hopelessly beyond coaching. Now let's talk about yellow light scenarios. And remember, this means I need more information.[00:21:34]A lot of people, sadly, think they need to hire a coach because everybody else seems to be doing it. To me it comes down to permission and consent. If I'm scratching my head about whether you're coachable or not, it's probably going to be a red light.[00:25:41]Living in a mindful way comes down to being open, curious, and non-judgmental. Being open includes being open to examining what's working and what isn't working in your business. Curiosity makes you coachable because it means you're willing to try things.[00:32:06]Next up, somebody who wants to be intentional in their business and life. You don't have to be an action hero to be coachable. A willingness to see what is and isn't working. What we resist tends to persist in our business.[00:36:15]Diann wants you to make two lists about your coachability. You can do this on your own or with an accountability partner. You will be able to assess if you're ready to hire a coach. There are fabulous coaches out there waiting to serve you when you're coachable

I can hardly believe I’m writing this, but this is the last episode of The Driven Woman Entrepreneur Podcast for 2022, and if you are anything like me, and the rest of the self-employed women I know, you are tired.  You may even be somewhere closer to exhausted or even burned out.  I talk with many, many women business owners, and this seems to be the year that many of us expected would be our bounce-back but have found it to be a year of busting our butts with far too little ROI. I am a driven woman entrepreneur, like you, and wanted to end this year with something more than platitudes and positive thinking.  Instead, I want to stimulate conversation about why we are all feeling so fatigued and offer an alternative to the extremes of manifestation and hustle.  Some of the biggest names in the coaching industry have learned everything they know from male mentors and then turned around and sold them to other women, without disclosing their own privilege and what it actually takes to run their business.  Maybe we need a different approach altogether, one that resonates with most women, women like you and me. So, what better way to end this year than with the anti-hustle alternative, who better to have as my guest to describe it, than Jadah Sellner, who published a brand new best-selling book on the topic, called ‘She Builds: The Anti-Hustle Guide to Grow Your Business & Nourish Your Life”?  If you don’t yet know Jadah, she is a bestselling author, business coach, international keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, poet, and host of the Lead with Love® podcast. She has been featured in Forbes, O, The Oprah Magazine, and The Wall Street Journal. Learn more at jadahsellner.com or follow her on social media at @jadahsellner.  If you want to grab your copy of her book after listening to our conversation,  shebuilds.com It’s the end of the 4th Quarter, ladies.  Is there a gap between where you are and where you expected to be?  What’s going to make things different in 2023?  You can only get so far listening to podcasts (even excellent ones like this…) so if this is the right time for you to take action and invest in a better outcome,  get on my calendar and let’s talk. Here is the link to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQIf you love and look forward to each episode of The Driven Woman Podcast,  let me know by leaving a review! I’m not a mind reader and podcast reviews really do motivate me to keep creating content and connecting with incredible guests, like Jadah. 

Many female solopreneurs start a business with nothing more than a good idea, a lot of passion, and a strong sense of purpose. Then they start collecting free and low-cost information and advice, followed by courses and massive group programs that can get them out of the starting blocks but will leave them stuck, stranded, or spinning their wheels at some point because they don’t actually know what they need to succeed or how to implement the information they have and in what order.  The bottom line is that every single one of us is experiencing what I call “The Gap”, the space between where you are and where you want to be. It might be aspirational, motivational, financial or simply the ultimate expression of your potential or purpose, but however you define it, the gap is painful, especially if you are idealistic, and have a big bold vision for your business and the mark you want to make in the world. So, let’s dig into the 6 common problems that hold women back… The first 3 often travel together, like an unholy trinity, but I will address them one at a time because even though they frequently show up in our business and life, we don’t always have the entire cluster fuck to contend with at any given time. Procrastination You mean to do it. You know you should. It's not even that big a deal, but you just keep putting it off. This pattern of waiting until the last minute is called procrastination. It's very habit-forming, stressful, and causes a lot of shame. The good news is that it's learned behavior and what is learned, can be unlearned. You don't need to wait until you feel more motivated to deal with your procrastination, because putting off something you can start doing now is the whole problem. Just identify the first step and take it. Taking action is habit-forming too.PerfectionismOther people may sing your praises, but nothing you ever do feels like it is quite good enough for you. One of the problems with perfectionism is comparing ourselves to others, so try comparing your abilities today to where they were a year ago. Since your internal set point isn't working very well, you can also just decide on an objective measure like the amount of time spent on a task or project, instead of waiting to feel that internal sense of approval. Dealing with perfectionism frees up so much energy and joy, so take the first step. It's worth it.People-pleasing You are the kind of person that is always there for everyone and is known for being dependable and hard-working. You really do try to set boundaries and limits on how much you do for others, but it's just so hard to let anyone down. It's becoming increasingly hard to focus on your own goals and sometimes you really do feel resentful, even though you do what is expected of you anyway. A great way to start unlearning the habit of people-pleasing is deciding for yourself what your limits will be and gaining some practice communicating them to others. Maybe a first step would be to tell that colleague who always asks you to help out that you really can't this time. No excuse, no apology. It is hard at first, but with practice, it gets easier and you gain time, energy, and self-respect in the process.DistractibilityMost entrepreneurs and creatives have so many ideas on their minds that they have a hard time staying focused. Distracted by social media, their environment, other people and even their own thoughts is a constant struggle. It's time to stop chasing so many rabbits! Learn to recognize what is stealing your attention so you can tame the ones that are holding you back. Creating boundaries means you get your most important stuff done.ImpulsivityOrdering or buying stuff impulsively instead of thoughtfully can become a real problem. Stop and pause for a moment before you click BUY by having a list of what you actually need before you open that app. And, don't think of it as limiting yourself, think of it as being more picky or selective. You will enjoy what you buy so much more and every purchase will be shame-free.Time blindness Running late, whether it's a little or a lot creates tons of stress and can cost you jobs and relationships. Even if you think you've 'tried them all, make a commitment to using a calendar/planner, whether it's digital or analog. Set a reminder on your phone, maybe two. And, don't ignore them. If you don't have a calendar, then get one now - not "someday" or "tomorrow." It's time to put those good intentions into action and stop letting people down, especially yourself.  I prefer to call time blindness ‘time optimism” because I always think I have more time than I actually do, but when I am not joking around or making light of it, I will tell you it has absolutely held me back in many areas of my life with people that see tardiness as a sign of disrespect, immaturity or self-indulgence. The good news is that no matter how long you have been contending with one or more of these traits, you can modify them. A great place to start is to take this quiz: “What’s Holding You Back?” https://bit.ly/whyb-quizYou will receive your specific result and a short series of emails that will link you to podcast episodes, tools, and strategies that will help you make progress.  Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, and partner with someone who is willing to be your accountability partner. The cool thing about being an entrepreneur is that you don’t have a boss.  The hard thing is that you have to be the boss of yourself.  If you have any of the 6 common traits I described in this episode, and they are common because many of us do, they will limit you from reaching your goals and fulfilling your potential.  I know that word might be triggering for some because so many of us have been told we were not fulfilling our potential for fuckever.  But I am saying it because I believe in you and I want you to close the gap, reach your goals, feel great about yourself and achieve success however you define it.  And if you are in no mood to think about any of this right now, but you are a fan of the show so you listened all the way to the end anyway, remember that you can come back to this episode in January when you are ready.  This episode will be available for the life of the podcast and I plan to keep that going for a long, long, time. Now, go back for that second piece of pumpkin pie or dark chocolate peppermint bark or whatever floats your boat, because you can and because you fucking deserve it.  Happy holidays, friend! 

When I first talked with Heidi Taylor about being a guest on the podcast, I initially expected to interview her about her specific niche as a consultant - how to use an intake form or questionnaire to pre-screen potential clients for your group coaching program. Clearly, this is something I am interested in learning before re-launching The Boss Up Breakthrough again, and I know it would be of value to my podcast listeners as well.After we confirmed and started planning the episode, Heidi send me a Voxer message asking me about my Strengths Finder Top 5 and my enneagram number. After I shared my answers, Heidi told me she had an idea for the episode, but it would require a lot more vulnerability and courage, and once she explained what she had in mind, I knew I had to say yes. Here's why...One of the most talked about episodes of The Driven Woman Entrepreneur Podcast is episode #125, "Lessons from a Failed Launch." The reason is simple. I pulled the plug on my group program launch this fall because I wasn't able to attract enough of my "perfect fit" clients to fill the group program and I simply wasn't willing to create a less-than-optimal experience for the people who signed up. And, then I talked about it openly and honestly on my podcast, to normalize failure and model making mistakes and learning from them.Heidi's suggestion was this: instead of you interviewing me about my area of expertise, why don't we show your audience by letting me coach you, and sharing some of the tools I use in my consulting business, so I can help you figure out why you might not be attracting enough of the right people to your group program? Spoiler alert: THIS is why I recommend you listen to episode #125 either before or after listening to this one. The cool part is that while this is about me and my business, you will find the insights so relatable for you and your business, too.If you have ever wondered why you are attracting people to your programs, but they might not be the ones that will get the best results working with you, you are going to want to pay close attention to this conversation between Heidi Taylor and me. I honestly had so many "mind-blown" moments that it literally made me re-think so many things I thought I knew and even rendered me temporarily speechless. If you know me even a little, you know how rare THAT is. So, grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to listen, learn and grow.My key insight from this interview:My strengths are 60% in the domain of Strategic Thinking and 40% in the domain of Influencing, so the best clients for me would be those whose strengths are in the areas of Relationship-Building and Executing. I have been marketing to and attracting my twins, but the clients who would get the most amazing results working with me would be my opposites.Mic Drop Moment: Your screening process needs to uncover what excites and motivates your potential client.Resources:  Strengths Finder Top 5 Assessment: http://bit.ly/3VP4JVx  (not an affiliate link)Enneagram Descriptions: http://bit.ly/3OZWvaY (free resource) Want to connect with our guest, Heidi Taylor? Let me show you how...Website: https://www.heiditaylor.ca/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heidilistening/VIP Day: https://www.heiditaylor.ca/intake-form-intensiveHeidi and I both work with female solopreneurs who have an online presence. One of the things our clients have in common is that in spite of our effort, there is often a gap between where they are and where they want to be in their business.   Does this apply to you and do you know the cause?  Take this quiz and get your personalized result, and what to do about it! What’s Holding You Back?https://bit.ly/obstaclesquizIt’s 4th Quarter, ladies.  Do you know where your business is going to end up for the year? For many solopreneurs, the last quarter of the year can feel like a scramble…throw together a Black Friday special, discount your fees because potential clients are thinking about their holiday budget, or just hunker down, serve your existing clients and try to reduce costs for the rest of the year?  There is nothing wrong with doing any of these things, but they are tactics, not a strategy, and tactics might produce results, but it’s a crap shoot.  If you want to figure out what’s working and what isn’t before another year is over, here is the link to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation:  https://bit.ly/3qrJ9YQNot quite ready to commit?  I got you. Join The Driven Woman Entrepreneur Facebook Group by clicking the link right here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thedrivenwoman/Hate Facebook but love Instagram?  Follow me on Insta here: https://www.instagram.com/coachdiannwingert/ If you love and look forward to each episode of The Driven Woman Podcast,  let me know by leaving a review! I’m not a mind reader and podcast reviews really do motivate me to keep creating content and connecting with incredible guests, like Heidi.