Hey White Women

In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the representation of women and people of color in politics, particularly focusing on Kamala Harris. They explore the excitement and hope that Harris's candidacy brings, while also acknowledging the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power. They emphasize the importance of not expecting one person to represent an entire demographic and the need to address anti-Blackness and white feminism. The conversation also touches on the concept of the glass cliff and the ongoing process of deconstructing white supremacy. In this part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the challenges faced by women and minorities in positions of power. They highlight the need for multiple individuals from a given minority demographic to have a voice and not be pitted against each other. They also discuss the importance of being an accomplice rather than just an ally in the fight against racism. They touch on the power dynamics between white women and black women, the role of white women in dismantling white supremacy, and the need for white men to educate themselves and call out their friends. They also discuss the concept of white women tears and the importance of believing and listening to black women's experiences. They emphasize the need to question and challenge the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy and coercive control. In this final part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the importance of privacy and the ways in which lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down. They also explore the concept of self-sealing systems and how society has given over its agency to the system itself. They discuss the potential impact of having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, and the need for white women to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy. They emphasize the importance of believing people's experiences and not trying to relate or invalidate their perspectives. They also discuss the power of silence and active listening in conversations about race and gender. Links:  Mediocre   Connect with Rebecca at:  Website Patreon TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram  Website Youtube   Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed  UnAMERICAN Videobook Takeaways The representation of women and people of color in politics is important and brings excitement and hope. It is crucial to recognize the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power. Expecting one person to represent an entire demographic is unfair and unrealistic. Addressing anti-Blackness and white feminism is essential in promoting true inclusivity and equality. The concept of the glass cliff highlights the tendency to put women and minorities in leadership roles during difficult times. Deconstructing white supremacy is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection and education. Women and minorities in positions of power often face challenges and are pitted against each other. Being an accomplice, rather than just an ally, is important in the fight against racism. White women have a role in dismantling white supremacy and should educate themselves and call out their friends. Believing and listening to black women's experiences is crucial. Questioning and challenging the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy is necessary. Lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down and is often a demand in systems that seek to control and enforce power. Society has given over its agency to the system itself, resulting in a self-sealing system that perpetuates harmful ideologies and structures. Having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, can bring a different perspective and potentially lead to important conversations and changes. White women need to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy, rather than relying on Black women to educate and inform them. Believing people's experiences, particularly when it comes to race and gender, is crucial for fostering understanding and empathy. Silence and active listening can create space for deeper connection and learning in conversations about race and gender. Sound Bites "Everybody feels like they're being represented now in this election." "The excitement that it has brought has been incredible." "We also know how we get treated and how we are spoken to." "They are not against each other, they are pitted against each other." "I'm so scared for her, right? Like she is going to, just in the election season alone, she is going to have so much misogynoir thrown at her that it is gonna be painful." "Stop saying you're an ally. It's not about being an ally. It's about being an accomplice." "No! That is the widest thing I have ever - Ugh! A creepy hunk to check your underwear!" "It's so creepy, it's so creepy. That's also how purity culture goes into, you know, pedophilia and sexual harassment." "Demanding immediate answers, constantly surveilling people, or having purity requirements are means of breaking people down and do not have legitimate reasons." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Representation in the 2020 Election 03:52 The Glass Cliff: Challenges Faced by Women and Minorities in Leadership 08:51 Centering Anti-Blackness and the Role of White Women 13:43 The Significance of Having a Woman in the White House 20:56 From Allies to Accomplices: Dismantling White Supremacy 34:01 Understanding White Supremacy and Allyship 38:58 Challenging Societal Norms and Holding Yourself Accountable 46:40 The Impact of Surveillance and Purity Requirements 01:00:20 The Power of Transformational Leadership and Diverse Perspectives 01:07:12 The Potential Impact of a Woman in the White House 01:14:46 The Intersectionality of Gender and Race 01:19:03 The Importance of Listening and Slowing Down 01:26:40 Fair Compensation for Podcast Production 01:27:20 The Importance of Representation in Various Industries  

In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the concept of deconstruction and how it relates to body size and white supremacy. They share personal stories and insights about the control and manipulation of appearance in cults and society. They explore the impact of body size on self-worth and the harmful effects of societal beauty standards. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection and the ongoing work required to challenge and dismantle these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores various aspects of control and coercion, particularly in relation to body size, bathroom control, and workplace dynamics. It delves into the ways in which control is exerted in different contexts, such as cults, corporate America, and educational environments. The discussion also touches on the weaponization of compliments and the societal pressure to conform to certain body standards. The importance of reclaiming agency and challenging societal norms is emphasized throughout the conversation.   Links: White Feelings Notebook Fearing the Black Body The Beauty Myth Corporate Cults   Connect with Rebecca at:   Website Patreon TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram  Website Youtube   Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed  UnAMERICAN Videobook     Takeaways   Deconstruction involves tearing things apart to create new solutions and solve problems. Body size is often used as a tool for control and manipulation in cults and society. Societal beauty standards perpetuate harmful ideologies and negatively impact self-worth. Challenging and dismantling white supremacy requires ongoing self-reflection and work. Emotional labor and the control of appearance are interconnected aspects of oppressive systems. Control and coercion can manifest in various aspects of life, including body size, bathroom control, and workplace dynamics. Societal norms and expectations around body size and appearance can be oppressive and contribute to fatphobia and body shaming. Compliments can be used as a form of control and can perpetuate harmful beauty standards. Reclaiming agency and challenging societal norms is essential for personal empowerment and dismantling oppressive systems. Recognizing and questioning systems of control and coercion is crucial for creating a more equitable and inclusive society.   Sound Bites   "When you tear things apart, when you spend the time deconstructing things, you come up with ways to create new things and to solve problems." "It's not like you have good intention and all of a sudden, boom, we are not racist anymore." "The idea of fat became inherently a negative word... unless you believe we're all supposed to look and be the same." "Bathroom control is another thing that we always see in coercive control." "This woman's a cult leader." "Kids are the new slaves that we just treat."   Chapters   00:00 Deconstructing and Creating 05:40 The Control of Appearance 13:38 Bathroom Control and Emotional Labor 20:04 The Dehumanization of Children 43:38 The Value of Physical Presence in the Workplace 46:05 The Pressure to Conform to Body Size Ideals 52:28 The Role of Compliments and Jokes in Body Control 54:32 Valuing People Beyond Their Physical Appearance

In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the impact of white supremacy and cult-like behavior on their lives. Daniella shares her personal experience of being married to a white supremacist and how it made her reflect on her own identity and choices. They explore the pressure to conform to societal expectations and the importance of embracing individuality. They also discuss the power of self-expression and the need to challenge the norms imposed by white supremacy. The conversation explores the themes of freedom, perfectionism, chasing success, self-sacrifice, and the cult-like nature of societal systems. It emphasizes the importance of individuality, self-acceptance, and finding joy outside of traditional measures of success. The speakers discuss the impact of white supremacy, the worship of the written word, and the exploitation of labor. They also highlight the value of authentic conversations, real relationships, and the ability to create one's own path. The conversation ends with a discussion on the power of analogies and the accessibility of knowledge.   Links:  Connect with Rebecca at:   Website Patreon TikTok    Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram  Website Youtube   Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed  UnAMERICAN Videobook Keywords white supremacy, cults, identity, conformity, individuality, self-expression, freedom, perfectionism, chasing success, self-sacrifice, cult-like systems, individuality, self-acceptance, joy, white supremacy, exploitation of labor, authentic conversations, real relationships, creating one's own path, analogies, accessibility   Takeaways White supremacy and cult-like behavior can have a profound impact on individuals' lives and identities. Conforming to societal expectations can lead to a loss of individuality and self-expression. Embracing one's true identity and challenging societal norms is a powerful act of resistance. Self-reflection and awareness are crucial in deconstructing the influence of white supremacy and cults. Freedom is being accepted for who you are and having the ability to present yourself authentically. Chasing success and perfectionism can be futile and lead to a never-ending cycle of striving. Societal systems often exploit labor and devalue work that cannot be quantified. Recognizing and challenging the cult-like aspects of societal systems is crucial for personal growth and well-being. Authentic conversations and real relationships are essential for personal and societal transformation. Analogies can be powerful tools for understanding complex concepts and making knowledge accessible. Sound Bites "Deconstructing white supremacy like the cult that it is" "I only find out about this... nine years before" "I thought that was what I was supposed to do... because I didn't even really, I think, understand the concept of individuality and individual identity" "I'm gonna wear whatever I want for the rest of my life." "Perfectionism was my heroin addiction." "Chasing success is kind of futile at some point."   Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 04:01 Unveiling the Intersection of White Supremacy and Cults 12:18 The Pressure to Conform: Losing Personal Identity 20:16 Challenging White Supremacy through Open Conversations 26:32 Embracing Personal Authenticity: Breaking Societal Norms 36:19 Embracing Individuality and Freedom 38:32 The Dangers of Perfectionism 40:48 The Pursuit of Success and Its Pitfalls 47:15 Exploitation of Labor and Cult-like Systems 54:30 Authentic Conversations and Relationships 01:07:16 Creative Projects as a Means of Empowerment

The conversation explores the significance of hair in relation to coercive control, dehumanization, and racism. The hosts discuss the experience of having their hair touched without consent and the emotional journey of embracing natural hair. They highlight the lack of consent and respect in interactions between white women and black women regarding hair. The conversation also touches on the impact of compliments and the importance of language when discussing these issues. Overall, the conversation sheds light on the deep-rooted biases and discrimination surrounding hair and the need for awareness and understanding. The conversation explores the impact of appearance control and surveillance on individuals, particularly focusing on hair and body size. It highlights how these standards are influenced by white supremacy and how they contribute to the dehumanization and objectification of marginalized groups. The discussion also touches on the intersectionality of appearance standards in different contexts, such as the military and corporate America. The hosts emphasize the importance of reclaiming personal style and rejecting societal expectations to truly know oneself. Connect with Rebecca at:  Website:  https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer TikTok: @white_woman_whisperer https://www.tiktok.com/@white_woman_whisperer?_t=8nslhOSSy8g&_r=1     Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram: @_daniellamyoung https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuFRBZ2w3QsYs7Km69keHsg UnAMERICAN Videobook   Get the book: UNCULTURED: A Memoir     "A propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story." --NYT     See a Sample Chapter in Rolling Stone Magazine  See a Sample Chapter in The Sydney Herald   Words in: Newsweek & Narratively   Get a copy of UNCULTURED: Digital, Audio, or Hardcopy or preorder the paperback as a holiday gift for a friend. Get an Autographed copy here: https://uncultureyourself.com/pages/uncultured-autographed   Takeaways Hair is a critical aspect of coercive control and dehumanization. Interactions between white women and black women regarding hair often lack consent and respect. Compliments about hair can be problematic and should be examined for underlying biases. Language plays a crucial role in discussing hair-related issues. There is a need for awareness and understanding of the deep-rooted biases and discrimination surrounding hair. Constant surveillance and appearance control have detrimental effects on individuals, including dehumanization and objectification. Standards of beauty and professionalism are often influenced by white supremacy and perpetuate discrimination and inequality. Reclaiming personal style and rejecting societal expectations is essential for self-discovery and empowerment. Intersectionality plays a significant role in how appearance standards are enforced and experienced in different contexts. Recognizing privilege and challenging stereotypes are crucial steps towards creating a more inclusive and equitable society. Sound Bites "White women's pearls: Clutching pearls to calm ourselves down" "Hair is critical in coercive control and dehumanization" "Being called in is not an attack" "There's a reason that constant surveillance is a form of torture and of breaking people." "I battle with some of those things, obviously, still. The internalized anti-blackness that I felt towards myself for so long just for having the hair I have." "Your time in the military gets harder. And when certain men don't understand this, I can just lean into them and say, aren't you short? And immediately they get it." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and the Concept of Clutching Pearls 08:38 Hair as a Form of Coercive Control 15:08 Challenging Microaggressions and Defending Personal Boundaries 28:12 The Emotional Journey of Embracing Natural Hair 33:34 The Significance of Hair in Relation to White Supremacy 39:36 Creating a Safe and Inclusive Environment for Discussions about Hair and Race 41:13 The Impact of Hair on Identity 43:23 Internalized Anti-Blackness and Beauty Standards 48:56 Hair Discrimination in the Military 52:43 Professionalism and Conformity 01:03:28 Challenging Beauty Standards 01:17:03 HWW Intro 16x9.mp4

In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca discuss their experiences with cults and the deconstruction of white supremacy. They explore the stages of leaving a cult and the process of deprogramming from the myth of white supremacy. They also touch on topics such as privilege, racism, and the impact of cult dynamics on society. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection, questioning societal norms, and working towards equality. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the importance of self-reflection and deconstructing the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy. They emphasize the need for white women to recognize their privilege and actively work to dismantle oppressive systems. They also discuss the power of vulnerability and the role of social media in spreading awareness and creating change. The conversation touches on topics such as the cult-like nature of societal systems, the challenges of living authentically within capitalism, and the role of art and creativity in personal growth.   Connect with Rebecca at:  Website:  https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer TikTok: @white_woman_whisperer https://www.tiktok.com/@white_woman_whisperer?_t=8nslhOSSy8g&_r=1     Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram: @_daniellamyoung https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuFRBZ2w3QsYs7Km69keHsg UnAMERICAN Videobook   Get the book: UNCULTURED: A Memoir     "A propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story." --NYT     See a Sample Chapter in Rolling Stone Magazine  See a Sample Chapter in The Sydney Herald   Words in: Newsweek & Narratively   Get a copy of UNCULTURED: Digital, Audio, or Hardcopy or preorder the paperback as a holiday gift for a friend. Get an Autographed copy here: https://uncultureyourself.com/pages/uncultured-autographed   Takeaways There are three stages of leaving a cult: waking up, cracking the brainwashing, and physically and mentally leaving the cult. Deconstructing from the myth of white supremacy requires a process of deprogramming that can take years. White supremacy is like a cult, and deconstructing it involves questioning societal norms and recognizing the impact of privilege and racism. Cult dynamics, such as the need to defend the good intentions of the group, can be observed in white supremacy and other systems of oppression. Recognizing and challenging the sacred assumptions of white supremacy is essential for dismantling the system and creating equality. Recognize and reflect on your own privilege and the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy that perpetuate inequality. Challenge and dismantle oppressive systems by actively working to create change. Embrace vulnerability and use your voice to spread awareness and inspire others to take action. Question and deconstruct your own beliefs and behaviors to ensure they align with your values and promote equality. Find ways to live authentically and resist the pressures of capitalism and societal expectations. Use art and creativity as a means of personal growth and self-expression. Sound Bites "White supremacy is like a booger" "White supremacy starts radicalizing you the second you set foot here" "Deconstructing white supremacy is a process of self-reflection and questioning" "Hey, black women, if you're alone in a conference room and someone's about to walk in and it's gonna be a white person, would you rather be a white man or a white woman?" "White women are the men of women." "Once you can name it, you can fix it." Chapters 00:00Introduction and Background 02:32Growing Up in Diverse Communities and Discovering Cult Dynamics 05:22Creating Safe Spaces for Black People to Share with White People 07:49Leaving Seattle and Deconstructing White Supremacy 10:11White Supremacy as a Booger and Challenging Sacred Assumptions 13:07The Radicalization of White Supremacy and Deconstructing Beauty Standards 20:49The Interconnectedness of Patriarchy and White Supremacy 25:01The Need to Stack Rank and the Impact of White Supremacy 28:18Questioning the Cult of Capitalism and Valuing Humanization 31:04The Con of White Supremacy and the Benefits of Equality 37:02The Power of Vulnerability and Spreading Awareness 48:56Living Authentically and Resisting Capitalism 53:28Art and Creativity as Tools for Personal Growth