PsycHacks

An attraction proxy is anything a person uses to secure love, sex, or commitment by indirect means. A common example of this is a man who believes that women will be more attracted to him if he were rich. In this case, the man is using money as an attraction proxy. While access to resources increases attractiveness in general, it is neither necessary nor sufficient to do so. The only reliable way of increasing attraction is mastering the game of attraction and the art of seduction.   #attraction #money #seduction

Many folks I talk to experience existential uncertainty. Not only are they unsure as to why they exist, they often doubt whether they deserve to exist at all. In this episode, I extend the Disneyland metaphor used in a previous talk ("The reason why you exist") in order to argue that your existence is already justified by virtue of the very fact of that existence. It's very hard to sneak into Disneyland; it's even harder to sneak into being. So if you're in the park, you must have a ticket.   #Disneyland #justified #spirituality

This is the first in a series of short talks on applied stoicism, which is what I call my adaptation of stoic philosophy for the practice of clinical psychology. In this episode, I'll discuss the egocentric nature of the concepts of "good" and "bad." While this may slaughter a sacred cow, it also leaves open the possibility of always receiving the good and never experiencing the bad. And who wouldn't want to know how to do this?   #stoicism #good #mastery

What makes life meaningful? Dive into the intriguing comparison of life as a vibrant amusement park, where the focus is on enjoying experiences. The conversation tackles existential questions, suggesting that our role is simply to relish each moment. There are no 'right' or 'wrong' ways to live; it's all about creating unforgettable memories. This unique perspective encourages listeners to embrace the journey and appreciate the adventure of being alive.

There's a notion of identity that assumes that -- deep down -- who we are is a sort of unchanging, crystalline entity. But I think this idea is betrayed in the practice of our everyday lives. Our experience of self changes significantly, based on where we are, who we're with, and what we're doing. This is because relationships "pull" latent aspects of self out of our personality structures that may otherwise have remained long dormant. I'll discuss more in this episode.   #relationships #identity #selfdevelopment

The fear of being judged by others is a fear that I commonly encounter in the scope of my clinical practice. The key to conquering this fear is an understanding of a clunky psychological concept called "theory of mind." This means that we unconsciously project the content and structure of our own consciousness onto others in order to facilitate interpersonal interaction. An amazing consequence of this tendency is that we can alter our actual experience of reality by changing the content of our own consciousness. I'll discuss more in this episode.   #anxiety #Buddhism #confidence

In my experience, a great deal of the unnecessary suffering in the world originates in the decision to say "no" to the present moment. Placing oneself in the position of resisting reality creates friction, and this friction creates suffering. In the vast majority of cases, resistance neither improves the situation nor helps us get what we want. On the other hand, by adopting a posture of willingness to work with what is, we give ourselves the best possible chance of recognizing the potential that may be inherent in the situation.   #willingness #acceptance #effectiveness

The critical inner voice is a phenomenon that most of us experience from time to time; however, it can be incessantly cruel and abusive in the case of some folks. It's the voice that is very mean to you when you make a mistake, or that generalizes global personality flaws from local failures or rejections. Many researchers believe that the critical inner voice is an introject of the parents' perceived negative attitudes toward the child. With this in mind, the first step toward mitigating the effect of this voice is to make it ego-alien, or something that's in you, but not of you.   #depression #selftalk #therapy

The sexual double standard is basically that it is socially acceptable -- or considered a positive -- for men to have multiple sexual partners, but that it is socially unacceptable -- or considered a negative -- for women to have the same. In this video, I'll discuss why I believe this double standard is culturally determined -- but not in the way most people think. Rather than a "mere" belief or attitude, this standard is deeply embedded in the cultural "rules" about who approaches whom and who is valued for what. I'll explain what I mean using the framework of behavioral economics. #sex #relationships #economics

"Enough" is a quantity that does not exist in reality. And if something doesn't exist, it's not something you can have. This is why no one has "enough" money, "enough" sex, or "enough" power. "Enough" is a concept that exists in our minds: it's psychological. It's the decision to accept the present moment as sufficient. Understanding this distinction opens the possibility for greater contentment and happiness in our lives.   #happiness #contentment #enough