PsycHacks

I occasionally work with clients who are distressed over the apparently unfair treatment they have received from their parents relative to their siblings, who they believe have been given everything on a silver platter. A simple tactic I've developed to respond to envy (especially in the context of siblings) is to ask: would you change places with them? In ten years, I've yet to meet someone who would. And if you believe the situation is unfair, but you wouldn't switch places with the other party, then you might be in a more advantageous position than you realize. #siblings #envy #fairness

This one is for the straight ladies. It's important to understand that men approach dating and relationships differently than you do. As is often the case in life, the direct path isn't always the best way to get what you want. If you appreciate that your dating profile is essentially an advertisement, you can begin to market yourself more strategically to your target audience. In this episode, I'll discuss the worst thing to say in your dating profile, and provide an alternative strategy. #dating #attraction #relationships

This one is for the workaholics. The delay of gratification is an important skill to cultivate if you want to be successful and high-achieving. However, if you don't also practice enjoying your life along the way, you won't be able to do so once you ultimately attain your goals. This is all the more true if hard work and self-denial come easily to you. I'll discuss more in this episode. #success #pleasure #practice

Unlock the secrets of dating by treating it like a strategic quest for a dream job. Discover how networking and proactive engagement can transform your love life. Explore the importance of commitment and strategy in finding meaningful relationships. Just like a job hunt, success in dating requires effort and skill enhancement! Embrace the mindset that finding love is your new full-time occupation.

Revenge can be a very powerful force, if utilized in the service of growth and self-development. Most high-achieving individuals (at least initially) manage to yoke their wills to the force of revenge in order to accelerate their progress. That said, while revenge is a useful first-stage fuel, it becomes increasingly problematic the longer it burns. Consequently, it's essential that you find a more positive force to link with after achieving escape velocity. #revenge #achievement #motivation

Because the universe lives closed, we are all going to experience far more rejection than acceptance across our lifespans. So the sooner we can disabuse ourselves of certain illusions concerning rejection, the better. In this episode, I discuss these illusions, which I call the three Ps, namely: rejection is painful, personal, and permanent. The goal is to eventually see rejection as a form of feedback that may contain information on how to move closer to our objectives. #rejection #confidence #acceptance  

It can happen that, in the course of our relationship, we find ourselves the object of another person's disrespect or negativity. The question that passes through most reasonable people's minds is: "how much is enough?" I have a simple rule of thumb to answer this question. I call it the "stranger on a bus" rule. Basically, anyone in my life has to treat me at least as well as they would treat a stranger on a bus. Otherwise, they're subject to losing the privilege of my company. #tolerance #relationships #selfrespect

"Love-food" is a term I coined to represent the experience of being held emotionally by another. It's important to the emotional well-being of all people, and essential to the development of children. Every family is like a little ecosystem, and within each family is a limited supply of love-food. Through unconscious reinforcement contingencies, parents influence children to occupy different niches within the family ecosystem that maximize their respective access to love-food. I explain more in this episode.   #family #siblings #lovefood

Back when I was in a dance-theatre company, we had a rule of thumb when it came to our shows. Anything that we created had to be "too short to suck." Those who liked our work would want more, and those who didn't would feel relieved we hadn't wasted more of their time. This is an excellent guideline to follow when creating content. You don't have to prove yourself by giving more than is necessary. #creator #brevity #nofail

My definition of "confidence" is the consistent, felt experience of success. And this definition contains the blueprint to achieving authentic confidence. The first step is being able to do the thing. The second step is being able to do the thing consistently. And the third step is allowing that consistent success to impact you emotionally. I discuss more in this episode. #confidence #success #competence