PsycHacks

We all know that social media offers a distorted view of reality. In this episode, I'll discuss precisely how it does that using an analogy. The fact of the matter is that people do not indiscriminately share good things with the world, because the world will only ruin them. Therefore, any perceived good on social media is either (a) not actually good, or (b) not actually theirs. Only a fool would intentionally try to provoke the envy of others if he had something worth having. #instagram #facebook #envy

This is a phrase I picked up from the 12-step community. Basically, it means that there is no absolute limit to suffering, and that each person decides for himself or herself when enough is enough. If you're in a relationship with an addict, this realization is heartbreaking and infuriating -- but it's true. On the other hand, if bottom is subjective, then there's nothing stopping someone from throwing that shovel away today. #recovery #addiction #suffering

It's important to learn how to cleanly, clearly, and effectively communicate. The ultimate ideal is to achieve impeccability with your word, in which your word is pristine, true, and binding. In this episode, I'll discuss two practices that I took on years ago to move in this direction with my language. If you adopt these practices in your own life, I wager that you will be able to avoid many of the more common pitfalls associated with speech. Let me know how it goes! #word #communication #integrity

Discover the emotional survival strategy of killing hope after a breakup. Learn about the importance of true no contact to detach from an ex and break free from emotional pain.

A deal breaker is anything that would motivate your willingness to leave a relationship, even if everything else about that relationship were ideal. In this episode, I'll discuss "organic deal breakers," which are behaviors that are deal breakers by virtue of the fact that they, if left unchecked, will destroy the relationship all by themselves, as well as how to broach a discussion about deal breakers with your partner. I also speak on the importance of not complaining unnecessarily about your partner. #relationships #dealbreakers #communication

For some folks, it's harder to accept a compliment than criticism. In this episode, I'll discuss a trick I use to receive compliments without embarrassment or vanity. Basically, I flexibly shift my perspective to join with the complimenter in appreciation of whatever is being complimented. By doing so, I can share in the experience of appreciation without being a passive receptacle for praise. And this is important because receiving a compliment well can be a gift to the complimenter. #compliments #praise #awkward

In today's foray into pop psychology, I'll be discussing the relationship between James Bond and his gadgets. Though he is plied with fancy watches and flashy cars, Bond is able to utilize status and luxury as a means to an end: the accomplishment of his mission. In this way, he offers us an important lesson on the appropriate relationship to materialism: it's just stuff. It's useful to the extent that it furthers our goals. After which point, it all becomes disposable. #007 #jamesbond #notimetodie

This is a realization that came to me while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, a nearly 2700-mile long hiking path connecting Mexico to Canada. Despite my lack of ostensible progress from one day to the next, I understood that the path -- the thing literally beneath my feet -- was already at my destination. This realization came with a couple of corollaries, which I will briefly discuss in this episode. #motivation #hope #growth

To understand that, to be free, we cannot do whatever we want, we need only look to nature. The Earth, for example, has enjoyed free and unobstructed motion around the sun for billions of years, because it has restricted itself to an orbit that allows that motion to continue. A decision that restricts freedom over time is really just destruction in slow motion. So, to preserve our freedom, we are paradoxically not free to make these decisions. I'll discuss more in this episode. #freedom #choice #desire

This is a topic that has been requested many times by my listeners. It's difficult to love without emotional attachment, but it's extremely important to learn to do so. If you don't, you'll either participate in games of control or resign yourself to the emotional roller coaster. The key to loving without attachment is to treat people like cats. Using this extended metaphor, I'll discuss strategies for loving others that preserve their freedom and autonomy. #love #attachment #cats