PsycHacks

The holidays are upon us, my friends! For many, this is a wonderful time of year when folks get to spend precious time with loved ones. For others, it's a landmine of conflict and despair. This episode is for those in the latter category. Today I'll be talking about holiday safety planning -- a must when dealing with toxic family dynamics. Here are five concrete and actionable tips to stay sane this holiday season. #toxic #holidays #abuse

The younger man/older woman dynamic actually has a lot to speak for itself. Among other things, it generally occurs between two gendered classes that are roughly equivalent with respect to their normalized sexual marketplace values. What's more, both parties generally understand that the relationship is fairly short-term, making it one of the most sexually-charged matchups possible. Why this isn't done more often is beyond me. I discuss more in this episode. #olderwomen #cougars #relationship

After my episode, "Women treat men the way men treat jobs," I received a lot of requests asking for the same treatment from the other direction, namely: what are women to men? I've given it some thought, and this is what I came up with. Keep in mind that my intention here is to help women understand some otherwise bewildering male behavior so they can accept, heal, and ultimately have more rewarding relationships in the future. This is a longer treatment, so be sure to say until the end. #relationship #dating #men

To be indestructible, you must first understand how you are destructible. From a psychological perspective, you are destructible when you inappropriately identify with external reality. This basically means that you conflate what you have with who you are. This is dangerous, as any threat to a possession with which you are identified will be experienced psychologically as a threat on your essential being. However, if you can identify yourself with your self, then who can have power over you? I'll explain more in this episode. #stoicism #invincible #identity

The part that women always leave out refers to the responses of women to the question: "what are you looking for in a man?" These responses are typically a litany of positive character attributes: someone kind, someone loyal, someone family-oriented. However, women always leave out a very important part to their responses, and it's this omission that can really mess with men's heads. I'll explain what I mean in this episode. #dating #attraction #women

The value of recognition is inversely proportional to the degree to which you are paid in other ways. When you are unhappy or underpaid, recognition becomes very important to you; however, if you are happy and overpaid, it becomes significantly less so. As a result, we can consider recognition to be a poor man's currency. This is because rich men are paid in money. #recognition #business #money

Cheating seems to be rampant among successful men. Despite coming from different walks of life, and advancing up independent dominance hierarchies, men in top positions seem to be remarkably consistent in this behavior. This can't be just a coincidence. At first blush, cheating in successful men makes little-to-no sense, because the risk-reward profile is insanely high. However, if we change the way we look at things, this behavior can be understood (without judgment). I'll discuss more in this episode. #cheating #power #success

Debunking the importance of shared interests in dating and relationships. Emphasizing the significance of emotional connection and passion over common activities. Highlighting the necessity of personal growth and tolerance for differences to maintain successful long-term relationships.

Before I began my training as a therapist, I believed that insight was the royal road to mental health. The belief was that if folks just understood why they do the things that they do, they would be able to use that awareness to solve whatever difficulty they happened to be facing. However, my time at an outpatient substance abuse clinic disabused me of that belief. During that time, I worked with many alcoholics who were incredibly insightful into the nature of their addictions, but who remained addicts nonetheless. I'll speak more about this in this episode. #insight #therapy #psychology

In our culture, we tend to have a very negative opinion associated with asking "what's in it for me?" in the context of our close and intimate relationships. It is perceived as selfish, or even mercenary. However, I'm here to argue that asking this question is actually the origin of free and equal relationships, provided both parties are at liberty to ask it. On the contrary, any relationship where one party is discouraged (or prevented) from asking the question is exploitative, by definition. #relationship #equality #freedom