Stand back everyone, because this episode comes with added ye olde sexually transmitted diseases chat. It would seem that Melbourne is currently experiencing a syphilis outbreak, who knew...apparently a LOT of you did, because you flooded our DM’s demanding we talk about it, hence it’s time to sanitize your ears and dive right in because Em has done a syphilis deep dive (which sounds like a slang way of describing casual sex in 16th century Europe) anyway, now she is filled to the brim and ready to dump a bunch of syphilis facts into our brains. Before we get into the syphilitic stats though, we’ve got a bit of Dad chat from Em and Michael, then it's onto the news that Melbourne’s rate of syphilis infections has nearly doubled in the last 4 years. Together Em and Michael will walk us through all the horrific facts about the outbreak, like how it appears, but also doesn’t really very much at all and how leaving it untreated has terrible consequences. They also manage to squeeze in a stack of different scenarios from a Brett Sutton reference, to details of super spreader syphilis events and hot spots, as well as orgy warnings, a family tree of your sexual conquests, and Em wanting to take on the job of contact tracing. They also manage to rope Daniel Andrews back in front of the cameras for a super spreader press conference. After that we’re ushering in the latest list of what we’re watching with Michael offering up the challenging but epic series from Amazon ‘The Underground Railroad’ plus his adulation for Kate Winslet’s new series ‘Mare of Easttown’ continues. Em’s latest must watch list includes a Tina Fey series that she initially didn’t rate after seeing the first episode, but she’s all apologies now. You’ll hear that apology as well as a proper rundown on why the new series ‘Girls 5 Eva’ on Stan is actually dumb, but it’s also funny and the songs are utterly hilarious. Then we check in on the new series from Ryan Murphy (who created Glee, Nip/Tuck, American Horror Story, Feud, Hollywood and sooo many more) on Netflix called ‘Halston’. Prepare yourself for Em to go full froth and spiral out of control on this show because it's got all of the things that make Em go giddy, like amazing fashion and fashion parades, Liza Minelli, incredible sets, gays, orgies, and LOTS of up the bum action. So don’t watch this one with the kids, or do, but do it how Em watches it with her kids, her tips on how to do that are within. It’s the kind of TV review any TV show creator would ache for, and I’m pretty sure even Netflix would be excited by it, although they may be a smidge shocked by it too. As for us, well, we know what to expect when Em is fully on board and getting all her boxes ticked, so get ready for another “is she having a stroke” moment and maximum LOLs within. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, first up we should acknowledge the over supply of Jennifers in the title of this episode. Truth be told, there’s definitely NOT a thousand Jennifers in this podcast, sure we mention a few of them, but it’s more like they just pop up when we least expect them, which naturally inspired the title. Before we usher in the first of our Jennifers though, we apparently need to check in on Michaels recently installed temple to tampons and sanitary pads, it’s a bit of gay guy gloat though, so Em obviously calls it out and claps back. Then it’s onto the bulk of the Jennifer action as we check in on all the latest developments in the world of Jennifer Lopez, aka J’Lo, aka Jenny from the Block, aka Bennifer. That last one seems to have been resurrected from the gossip grave of 2004 because Jen and Ben (Affleck) have been seen spending even more time together. That ushers in all the theories Em and Michael can muster, which means we cover everything from if they are together, is it a stunt, why we’re so invested in Bennifer, how they met, other Jennifers, a weird Gwyneth Paltrow tangent, a J’Lo insider who sent DM’s to Em, the music videos, how Jennifer's butt predates the Kardashians derriere domination (which also inspired an episode title that was ultimately rejected) all the way through to an interesting suggestion from Michael and a statement that ultimately proves very telling for Em. Then Michael assumes the role of Jana Wendt and goes in deep with all the right questions around Em’s recent ADHD diagnosis (now that we think about it, we fully missed the opportunity to add to the roster of Jennifers by getting him to go all Jennifer Keyte or Jennifer Byrne on the questions instead...doh). Together they’ll work through Em’s recent Facebook post about it, what inspired her to get tested, what the testing involved, how Em tried to trick the testing, the shame she felt around the diagnosis, the treatment and medication she’s now using, the changes she’s had to make, how much Em achieved without that diagnosis and treatment, what's working for her and even a moment of reflection on who she might have been if she’d been diagnosed earlier. There’s a lot to process, and it’s still early days, but ultimately we’re all thankful for who Em is, and proud of her for always being so open about what she thinks, feels and wants to share with us. To wrap things up in this bumper issue of Emsolation, we’ll see it all out with a HUGE Madonna Expert Off between Michael and Em’s other die hard Madge fan, Dan Brophy. As quiz master, Em will test them across 20 super niche Madonna questions to see who is the ultimate fan girl for the Queen of Pop. So prepare for lots of Jennifer, an ADHD deep dive and a Madonna quiz worth getting shouty about...and one very loud moment of table slapping from Michael….bless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever had a moment where you’re about to do something totes important, like say...another episode of your low key, but also hugely successful podcast, and suddenly it’s all CODE RED, you’re panic struck, wondering, am I destroying my fave pink and subtle grey leopard print jeans right now, whilst you casually spit out a rogue Japanese flag reference? Exactly, well maybe not exactly that, but, same feels and you get the picture...and you’ll also get the full lived experience in audio form within this episode as well. Aside from the blow-out, as beautifully articulated in real time by our fearless host Em Rusciano, there’s also Russian hackers to dismiss, the Queensland deputy premier Steven Miles to chat about, he accidentally called Scomo a right royal c-word at the Labour Day March in Brisbane when describing Scotty’s decision to attend the ‘Rockhampton Beef Week Annual Industry Awards’ instead of the rally. Michael has a technical glitch which inspires an impromptu musical performance from Em, then we encounter the red dot special scenario, then it’s back to ‘Beef Week’, there’s a perfectly placed pun, the shock and trauma that comes from agreeing with Andrew Bolt, and the horrific crisis unfolding in India. After that we move onto a Tik Tok post that exposed Ben Affleck’s rejection via the exclusive ‘none of us are invited’ celebrity Tinder app ‘Raya’. Naturally Em wants an invite, but only so she can friend all the celebs real hard, Ben Affleck leads us to J’Lo, which ushers in a chance for Em and Michael to catalogue all of her terrible life choices when it comes to men. We also find time to talk Billie Eilish debuting a brand new look on the cover of British Vogue, which unsurprisingly activates Michael’s Madonna nerd mode plus there’s Em’s cover debut on Stellar Magazine to reflect as well. Finally we tie it all together with a revisit to leak week to discuss how much Em’s vagina is going to come for her for using wads of toilet paper to shore up the blow out. So get ready for more hectic hilarity in your ears as soon as you press play. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did someone say “technical issues”, YES, yes they did, they also said “arggghhh” and “why the fuck isn’t this working” and also “I just wanna come in and it works without all this technical bullshit” so after dealing with a spinning wheel of death, a couple of forced quits and 45 minutes worth of various emotions, with added shutting down and signing in again, Michael suggested he jump in his car and drive to Em’s so they could record this show face to face. Once ALL of that was done we FINALLY got an episode happening for you, but boy was it hard fought and mentally exhausting…pretty much. We start with a full rundown of the Oscars, which were a ratings failure, Em and Michael didn’t even watch them, but they’ve both seen enough highlights to have opinions on all of the things, as you’d expect, like Glenn Close being an utter legend, the terrible idea not to have Best Picture as the final award, and Anthony Hopkins doing an acceptance speech the day after the event. Then we side step into all the must see TV series you need to get around, from Disney Plus giving us ‘The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’ to Netflix doing their own version of a Disney animated wonder, with the release of ‘Over the Moon’, there’s also a hectic rundown of the fantasy series ‘Shadow and Bone’, plus Michael wants to give props to Kate Winslet for getting down and dirty and even limping through her role as a detective in her new series ‘Mare of Easttown’. Then Em’s dad Vincie stops by to deliver a bottle of wine, just in time for a full breakdown of Harry Styles new role as a dreamy voiced sleep story host for the app Calm, that then leads Michael to reveal Harry’s new movie role, which inspires Em to suggest the team at 365 Days get their drone up into the stratosphere so they can really get around Harry’s sex scene shoot. We also need to talk Em objectifying Jock from Masterchef on The Project, how she has a rather unique kink for gardening scenarios and then we somehow end up talking through which Disney Princes are worthy of bonking, so prepare yourself for some animated bestiality, not even kidding. Oh yeah, also ALL of this happened inside the confines of the creepy doll room that Em’s mum has at her house, so expect a view of one such creepy doll on our socials for added visual horror, you might wanna grab a glass of wine for the audio journey too, but see how you go, good luck everyone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you know that idiom about not stirring up a hornet’s nest? Well this episode of Emsolation has so much content that could be reflected by that little saying...and then some. In fact we’re not just stirring it up, we are whacking it with a bat, then kicking it along the ground, maybe setting it on fire, then we are calling in the army to bomb the bejesus out of it too. So grab your beverage of choice, take a deep breath and adopt the pose of a pest controller with their flamethrower set to incinerate, because we got some talking to do. The first thing we wanna add to the extinct list is the Government’s attempt at a consent video using milkshakes and tacos and getting pizza. It was so bad that when we asked the simple question “what do you wanna hear on the pod this week” via the Emsolation Instagram stories (are you following Emsolation on Instagram? You totes should) the replies referred to that bin fire that was the Milkshake consent video soooo much, that it was kind of like the cyber equivalent of one of those Aussie outback mouse plagues, so naturally we will start things off with that. Apologies to anyone who is now creeped out by thoughts of a gazillion mice pouring out of every nook and cranny, let’s move on….or do we not want to move on because we also have to cover off this next item. Em and Michael are also going to gently dip their toes into the Bluey backlash that exploded on Facebook after Em added her thoughts to the “we love Bluey but how good would it be if it was a smidge more inclusive” suggestion. Their toes dip gently as we begin, but by the end they are jumping around in the water and splashing it about and having an awesome time, promise. Finally, even though Em spent the last episode of this podcast talking up how much she wanted to witness the funeral for Prince Phillip, she actually hardly watched any of it. However, as you will bear witness, just because Em didn’t see each and every moment of the Royal funeral, doesn’t mean she isn’t more than capable of filling in the gaps. In fact, she will fill in so many gaps that you would need a microscope to see how fine her gap filling skills are, she even manages to conjure up scenarios you didn’t even think were humanly possible to conjure up. Yes it is true that Em may have had a teensy stroke while navigating all of the scenario conjuring, but it's hilarious nonetheless and well worth the wait, but don’t wait too long, like even this is wasting your time, so stop reading and go listen NOW! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s announcement time, so we start this episode with Em’s big reveal, you will need to pretend it comes with explosions of glitter, streamers and other gaiety that wasn’t added during recording, mostly because when you unleash stuff like that into a confined space, it makes a huge mess and no one wants to be dealing with that clean up. Then Michael joins Em to demand he’s like Madonna, seems pretty standard by now, we then swiftly move onto the big news of the past week like the death of Prince Phillip. It seems like the announcement of his passing has been endless, so naturally we take time out to cover off all of the things, from Lizzie’s loss after nearly 75 years of having him by her side, which prompts Em to wonder who the Queen’s version of her Michael Lucas is. There’s also the twitter pile and the jokes and memes that followed, the completely understandable reaction Indigenous people had to the news and even the media’s stock pile of pre-prepared tributes to reflect the passing of the famous, which may have inspired Em to think about what hers would look like if she got one. We also couldn’t talk the Royal Family without wondering what Fergie will be doing when it comes time for the funeral, will she even be invited? There’s also a brand new Shero worth celebrating, her name is Christine Holgate and she deserves props after her appearance at a Senate Committee this week where she detailed how she was humiliated and bullied out of her job as the CEO of Australia Post. Again we’re keen to know if she has a Michael Lucas on direct dial for help with her Senate outfit choices, which inspires Em to detail exactly what she would be wearing should she ever be called up for a Christina Holgate style takedown. So grab your headphones or pump up the volly on your speakers and dive in now for a bunch of Royal ranting and endless inspirational outfit ideas for when you have to cancel someone, plus everything else that comes along with an Emsolation podcast episode. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hands up who’s in for a pop culture extravaganza this episode...we’re gonna assume some of you put your hands up, or at least thought to yourself, yep totes in, because Em has been laid up in bed with the tummy wobbles (which is a much more pleasant term for what happens when you have gastro and it’s coming out of you like lava, my words not Em’s) anyway her need to stay close to her bathroom facilities means Em has spent the last few days in front of the internet, so she’s got all of the pop culture things that she needs to talk about. We will begin with an apology, apparently some listeners are willing to actually fact check this show, hence there’s some Britney die hards asking for some recognition on a false fact we made, after that we’ll move straight into Michael’s very first stage show since the relaxing of restrictions and it just so happens it was Frozen the Musical. Naturally Em is mad keen to know if it’s worth dragging Elio along to witness the live version as he is currently deep within a toddler vortex of Frozen appreciation that means he must be given multiple viewings of both movies on repeat, plus all his Frozen branded merchandising within touching distance as well. The dating life of the cast of the Wiggles has also been an online obsession of Em’s and there are new developments worth sharing, which will make you ache for the Wiggles even more than we already do. Plus there’s the news that the break out star and all round hottie from Bridgerton, Regé-Jean Page won’t be returning for Season 2 and finally we need to talk about what is going on with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson’s son Chet Hanks, he’s an actor and a rapper and he’s got Em and Michael freaking out with his latest efforts online, it’s a LOT to process. So plug in and get your pop culture upload in one glorious glitter filled galavant of podcast listening. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been anywhere near Em’s Instagram account in the last week, you will know she jumped on a flight to Sydney with her eldest Chella, popped on a drop dead gorg sequinned ensemble and sashayed her way up the red carpet JUST so she could profess even MORE love for the musical Hamilton. Now that the Aussie version of Hamilton has arrived Down Under, Em can’t wait to give you the lowdown on what it’s like and also how it somehow manages to be uniquely Australian, even though it's a musical about American history. Once they’ve exhausted all their accolades for Hamilton, Em and Michael will swing the doors of their Institut de Musique (totes made that name up but I figure it’s kinda like a virtual music video laboratory, patent pending) anyway name aside, they will swing the doors of their Institut wide open so they can go into extreme forensic detail on the Lil Nas X clip for his new song ‘Montero (Call Me by Your Name)’. If you’re yet to see it, Lil Nas X transports us from the Garden of Eden, to a Colosseum where he’s persecuted and sent to heaven, but before he gets there a pole emerges from below that he then rides all the way to hell, just so he can give the devil a lap dance, seduce and kill him and then take his crown. It’s pretty much a visual extravaganza filled with LGBTQ imagery and themes plus a heap of Greco-Roman and medieval Christian motifs and messages in both Greek and Latin, so together Em and Michael will cover all three acts. Naturally I don’t think I’m revealing any secrets when I say that the stripper pole straight to hell was their favourite part. There will also be time for a brief chat about Britney’s response to the ‘Free Britney’ doco, plus we need to talk about that 3 day lockdown that’s been given to Queenslanders in the lead up to Easter. So find your ideal chill zone, get your headphones or speakers primed and dive into another Emsolation episode stuffed to the brim with all the stuff you never know you needed, but will no doubt be thankful for once you’re done. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You do realise that if I’m actually writing this description, and then you are actually reading it, then that must mean that Em and Michael have been chatting and someone has been hitting record right? Ya huh that's EXACTLY what it means, Emsolation is back for Season 2 and we have a lot to work through, like a LOT. It’s safe to say that most of Australia is probably shook with what’s been happening within Australian politics lately, so Em and Michael need to work through the cavalcade of whack that’s recently been revealed. There’s the revelation that some men have been treating the desks of female MP’s as collection points for their repugnant DNA. They cannot believe what's been happening there, nor that people have the time to do stuff like that at work. They’re also worried about what’s been going down at the chapel inside Parliament House too, and they just really want to know what Scomo’s going to do about it all. He keeps saying he’s listening, but we’re all worried about what’s going to happen next. Then it’s on to the news that Em is off to witness the premiere of the Australian version of Hamilton LIVE. ON. STAGE. The level of excitement coursing through every cell of Em’s body is currently too much for her to deal with, so much so that she can’t even really articulate it, so expect some actual squeals, in place of conversation, when it all gets too much. There’s also time to reflect on Em’s upcoming performances at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, it’s a love letter to Melbourne, and naturally a second show has already been announced, probably because the first one sold out before Em even had a chance to say “go buy tickets, swipe up NOW” on her Insta-stories. She’s also decided she’s not going to be anxious before she performs anymore, mostly because it’s a waste of time and energy, unlike this podcast, which is worth ALL of your time and can actually rebuild your energy levels. So grab your headphones and level up with the contents of this episode of Emsolation. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

HUZZAH! It’s surprise bonus episode time! That’s right, that thing you know you needed right this very minute, because obvs you were feeling this in your waters, or had that my podcast is back spidey tingle, or just saw it teased all over the socials, has SUDDENLY RETURNED! It’s been months and sooooo many things have gone down, so why wouldn’t we come back to work our way through a grab bag of our favourite finds. So grab your headphones and settle in for a cavalcade of all of the things, as Em and Michael return to update us on stuff like the brand new Britney Spears doco ‘Framing Britney Spears’, the sumptuously designed soapy drama that is the Netflix series ‘Bridgerton’, and even how mumfluencer and wife of Alec Baldwin, Hilaria, turned out to not be actually Spanish. There’s also time to chat the stunning 80’s realness of the Stan series ‘It’s A Sin’, the clusterfluff of the Capitol riots and the follow up Inauguration, Meaghan and Harry announcing they’re pregnant again, PLUS Em’s upcoming stage show AND Michael’s upcoming TV series. So consider this your big, massive catch up episode and enjoy it at your earliest convenience...maybe don’t binge it all in one sitting, or you could binge it and then binge it again, or just sample a few minutes, get a few giggles in, then give it a rest until you’re ready for some more….or just try all of those options perhaps. Look we’re just excited to be back, so we’re probably rambling a bit, but you know what to do so have at it. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices