Emsolation

This week Em is shook because Michael is keen to talk about the Coronation of the King, Em has zero interest. Weirdly though (actually not really weird at all really) even though she didn’t actually watch it, she’s absorbed a shocking amount of assorted facts and highlights. Once we’ve worked through that Em is mad keen to drag a very reluctant Michael into the marvellous world of mushrooms. Em’s got all the facts, a new app to help her identify them and an unbridled passion to force Michael into gumboots for a frolic through a forest full of fungi in the very near future. We’ll follow that with the breaking news that Tom Cruise and Shakira are an item, which naturally inspired Em to pump out a bit of fanfiction 5 minutes before the episode record. Expect Michael in the role of Vin Diesel and Tom Cruise and Em as Shakira (is that a female Fernando Alonso I’m hearing?). Finally Michael has a new season of ‘5 Bedrooms’ to plug, plus there’s two other equally fab Aussie shows they’re both keen to recommend. So plug us in, press play and get a sample of the wall to wall dizzy freedom that’s bouncing around inside this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Obviously if you were at our family meeting last night you’ve already got the news we have for you. If you weren’t there then all will be revealed within this episode, first though we wanna touch on the shocking loss of Masterchef’s Jock Zonfrillo. Then Michael is obsessed with the fact that our Prime Minister went to a celebrity wedding that Em has zero interest in, so that won’t last long. We follow that up with the Instagram algorithm that’s sending Em blokes with massive wangs working out, she’s done research on why the discrete peen is in her feed, plus Em and Michael swap mobiles and share what their ‘for you’ sections reveal about them. After that Em gets Michael to flash up a selection of Met Gala looks for her to give her on the spot, uncensored thoughts on. There’s also some Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift fan fiction for Em and Michael to bring to life and finally we have a huge announcement that’s v exciting and we’ve been dying to reveal, that moment has finally arrived. So basically this episode is pretty much chockers Barry Crockers, so allow it to tumble into your ears and enjoy it at your earliest convenience mmmkay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Inspired by the responses to a post where Em asked Mother’s what they HONESTLY wanted for Mother’s Day, we’re offering up a way to help you get exactly what you want from your family, plus we reveal more about the Family Meeting we’re holding on Wednesday and why you need to be there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The answer to that question is within this episode, but first there’s a kinda sorta answer to last week’s question for the cast of Glee, which we follow with a reminder of what Emsolators need to do if Em ever goes missing. Then it’s on to Em’s Saturday which included an early morning wake up, a hurried house clean, a 50th birthday lunch for her husband Scott and a midnight performance on stage with Reuben Kaye. We’re talking stand-ups, a full band, singing, burlesque, fire twirling, aerial circus acts, maximum naked wang including actual ones and Em’s inflatable version and finally an act that included a discretely hidden salt shaker. After that Michael drops a bombshell revealing he got teary watching a video of James Corden, it leaves Em understandably shook plus she then had to sit through the same video just to see how she’d react. We then reflect on the death of Barry Humphries, cover off a new TV show that Em’s just binge watched called ‘The Diplomat’ and offer up a mental side quest on the rumours Taylor Swift might be dating F1 champion Fernando Alonso (Michael has to do maximum googling for clarity and Em’s so inspired she’s off to work on some Tay Tay and Fernando fan fiction for next week). Finally Em teases a massive announcement that’s been giving her migraines and then returns to give us her take on the aforementioned James Corden video with surprising results. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The first 20 seconds of a new season of a universally loved kids TV series has triggered a lot of parents, but before we talk about any of that, we need to talk the hectic going ons at community pools. Inspired by Michael’s t-shirt, we go on a trip down memory lane to Em’s previous life as a teenage swim instructor, the whack things that happened in and around the pool and the shame of wearing clothing from the lost and found. Once we’ve navigated all of those memories, we need to discuss why the newest episode of ‘Bluey’ has divided the internet. We also check in on the diet culture norms of the 80’s parents who raised Em and Michael and the truly shocking experiences they had in their own childhoods. Then there’s the night Em and Michael partied with the cast of ‘Glee’ in Sydney to relive. Em remembers nothing, so Michael does all the heavy lifting recollecting everything that went down and it comes with a built in challenge for you too. Finally Em is untethered when it comes to TV show options and her list of must haves is extensive. Luckily Michael has the perfect list of choices, including one series his husband actually worked on. Weirdly, neither of them planned or set this up, but it might just be the most perfectly placed recommendation they’ve ever accidentally stumbled on. What are the chances? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An Easter meme comparing the to-do list of Mums and Dads triggered a huge response from Emsolators and Em has some thoughts on why the mental load on Mothers has reached a tipping point and what to do next. We also need to talk all the behind the scenes action of Em’s appearance at the Melbourne International Comedy Debate, how Annabel Crabb connected Em to the one and only Penny Wong, and who labelled Em and John Safran’s debate responses as sophisticated. We’re addicted to a brand new Netflix series that’s unpleasant to watch, but we just can’t look away, called ‘Beef’. Elio is a gamer with a serious Nintendo Mario Kart Odyssey addiction and he’s not afraid to issue sleepy muttered threats about it, plus Taylor Swift calls an end to her relationship and Michael kinda sorta promotes his upcoming new season of ‘5 Bedrooms’. There’s even a little side quest about a neighbourhood Easter tribute fashioned out of chicken wire, so just your standard podcast episode really. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode delivers exactly what’s in the title, so naturally if you’re not into the TV series ‘Succession’, or you’re yet to see episode 3 of the current season, then this podcast episode is not for you. Em and Michael are long time fans and both of them are finally up to speed with all the new episodes and they needed a full debrief. So expect much gushing, a variety of what’s next theories and some behind the scenes chat that includes Michael doing a very casual flex on actually meeting and hanging with some of the key members of the cast. It’s a bonus episode built specifically for devotees of ‘Succession’ so have at it and enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Like a casual remark whispered in the ear of the man you just destroyed in a televised courtroom drama, this episode is guaranteed to get inside your head. Yes we’ll talk all things legal with Gwyneth winning her court case and Donald Trump being dragged before a Judge for his own mea culpa moment. There’s Em’s kindergarten confessions to work through, then we need to find out what went down when Em encountered Vogue Australia on the red carpet and Geena Davis behind a velvet rope at the launch for the Goddess exhibition at the ACMI in Melbourne. Also, after Em dropped her Croc appreciation confession on last week’s episode, she’s prepared to up the ante and offer up another one of her shock confessions slash backflip. Then there's the creative emergency her middle child Odie dropped in her lap with less than 24 hours before it's deadline.Finally we squeeze in a high speed Grand Prix update, that spins off into a One Direction side quest that somehow evolves into an Emsolation sealed section discussion on a seggual practice that rhymes with shitake. So unlike a mushroom that’s kept in the dark and fed you know what, we are giving you AMPLE warning that things get even more heckers than you’d ever expect inside this episode. I know right, I bet you can hardly wait huh, so enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Strap in for a true taster of the lifestyles of the rich and famous as we reflect on some of the fantabulous transport options celebs have delivered for us to chat about this week. First though we need to allow Em some space to talk about how she’s allowed Crocs into her life, good luck everyone, plus Elio and his very specific lunchbox demands make an appearance, huzzah! Once that’s sorted we’ll reveal all of our favourite moments from the utterly bizarre court case surrounding a 2016 collision on the ski slopes of Utah between Gwyneth Paltrow and retired optometrist Terry Sanderson. Did someone say “I lost half a day of skiing” yes, yes they most certainly did. We follow that with all the gloriousness that is Sofiia Coppola’s 16 year old daughter, Romy Mars, who’s become the internet’s new favourite nepo baby. Romy posted a hectic TikTok about being grounded for trying to order a helicopter to fly her bestie over for dinner, as you do, so obviously we got much chats to have. Then finally we need to get Michael around the fact that the Formula 1 Grand Prix is coming to Melbourne this weekend. Em is determined to improve his lack of knowledge of her niche special topic slash obsession and she’s not afraid to use Beyonce, Michelle and Kelly to make that happen. So expect a Destiny’s Child themed explain and a hardly surprising One Direction retort from Michael, yep we’re totally giving you everything you’d expect from an Emsolation episode, go us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Huzzah to Michael for that episode title, naturally you’ll get the full context once you start listening, go us for not providing any spoilers within this description. This week Em proves how good an investment her inflatable wang is turning out to be ever since she bought it for her Evil Queen comedy tour. Then Michael joins us from overseas to trigger Em’s fears of prehistoric ocean creatures and rogue drug busts. Em reveals the rash decision she made 6 months ago that is now coming back to haunt her, and as a result is placing her entire household under duress and has left Michael scared for her family. After that we need to download all the whack info and delightful insights that Gwyneth Paltrow gifted us whilst appearing on a health and wellness podcast. Finally there’s a state election happening in NSW and it hasn’t garnered as much interest as it normally would for our favourite political nerds, you’ll find out why and get all those other delightful morsels within. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices