The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

You’ve heard that winning isn’t everything but deep down you know that isn’t true. Striving to be the best is how you keep your edge.  In the last episode, I discussed the self-help industry’s positive thinking problem. In today’s episode of the Happier Approach, I discuss with Clair Booth, author of The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy, what it takes to start flourishing without being a high achiever. Claire was a successful but stressed-out market research entrepreneur and executive suffering from what she calls "achiever fever"—constant striving coupled with chronic feelings of inadequacy. Sick and tired of feeling miserable--but ever the self-help skeptic--Claire decided to try anything that might bring relief, from mindfulness to martial arts, from spending ten days in silence to "smiling" at her spleen. At first, Claire was fearful that slowing down and softening up will mean losing her professional edge.  Instead, she discovered a more joyful and purposeful life, one that also turns out to be good for business.  Listen to the full episode to hear Claire and I discuss: What Achiever Fever is and how to know if we have it The dark side of being a high achiever Identifying and naming our inner judge Meditation and the life-changing act of chopping vegetables The connection between alcohol and anxiety Living life as opposed to just logging life And what we gain when we give up the Achiever Fever Find out more about Claire Booth and the Achiever Fever at claireboothauthor.com.  Some of the research and resources mentioned in this episode: The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy by Claire Booth The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Last time we started pulling back the curtain on the toxicity that exists in the self-help industry. Today on the Happier Approach we examine one of the most toxic ideas pushed by the industry: positive thinking. One of the most misleading concepts that the self-help industry teaches is the benefit positive thinking – change your thoughts and stop feeling so negative! If it were that easy – if all we had to do was put on our rose-colored glasses – why are so many people still depressed, anxious and overwhelmed? It is my theory that the self-improvement industry is selling the wrong thing. We don’t need to simply “think positively.” Instead, we need to quiet the cacophony of positive thinking messages that come our way on a daily basis--and listen in to our own inner peace. Listen to the full episode to find out: How the message of positive thinking is holding us back and even harming us Where our belief in the positive psychology movement originated How research contradicts the claims of the positive psychology industry has been selling you And practical tools and resources that you can use in place of just “looking on the bright side' Some of the research and resources mentioned in this episode: Martin Seligman, the originator of Positive Psychology Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study by Prof Brett Ford and Prof Iris B. Maus The Happier Approach System:  A.S.K. Gabrielle Oettingen Her book Rethinking Positive Thinking  And her W.O.O.P. system  Peter M Gollwitzer Oliver Burkeman’s book The Antidote: Happiness for People Wo Can’t Stand Positive Thinking  My booksVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Live your best life, think positively, high vibes only! Frankly, it’s become toxic.  Over the next few episodes of The Happier Approach, we’ll be taking an in-depth look at the personal growth industry just might be making your anxiety worse.   I’ll be sharing the tools and resources I use with myself and clients to quiet the cacophony of positive thinking messages that come our way on a daily basis--and listen in to our own inner peace. Listen to the full episode to find out: How the self-help industry is especially dangerous for those of us with High Functioning Anxiety How I almost single-handedly kept her local Borders afloat (spoiler: I didn’t) Why “radical acceptance” changed everything for me--but what I had to do first before I could fully accept myself (you can start this today) Why leaning into your value for loyalty is the key to building a new relationship with yourself and your anxiety Some of the research and resources mentioned in this episode: The Science Daily research study Tara Brach’s book, Radical Acceptance And Tara Brach herself Nancy’s books on living with High Functioning Anxiety And where you can work one-on-one with Nancy The solutions the personal growth industry sells leave women living with hidden anxiety--women like you--with more stuff to be anxious about. Even worse, it can turn you off from getting help completely. I want to help you dial back the overwhelm and overthinking with a set of tools designed just for people like you. It’s not woo-woo. It’s not trying to positively think your challenges away. And I’m certainly not going to tell you to start living your best life. I work one-on-one with women like you to deconstruct why anxiety creeps up on you and give you something to do about it. Click here to learn more about working with me through on-demand coaching!Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Happiness Hacks is now The Happier Approach! Join licensed professional counselor and coach, Nancy Jane Smith, as she shares tools, resources, and inspiration for women living with High Functioning Anxiety. If you’ve ever felt like the world might fall apart around you if you took a minute to rest, this is the show for you. For more information on High Functioning Anxiety, The Happier Approach, and Nancy Jane Smith visit: http://live-happier.comVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Today I am celebrating Episode 100!  Yippee!!  I am looking back on my top 7 episodes and giving you some behind the scene look at what I was feeling/thinking as I recorded them and a bit of back story.  Also sharing what is coming next for Happiness Hacks and why my Monger has been so loud!!   Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

This week I had an ah-ha when I noticed I was stressed to the max but was telling myself 'everything is fine'. My body was screaming stress and my anxiety was in full force, but my mind was trying to convince me it was no big deal. This is a classic pattern of High Functioning Anxiety listen to see how to recognize the pattern and what to do about it. Read the transcript at http://live-happier.com/episode-099 Download the Feelings Handout: http://bit.ly/whatamIfeelingVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In episode 097, I described High Functioning Anxiety today I am looking at what do about it and why just overcoming perfectionism or setting boundaries won't work.Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Today I am looking at the term High Functioning Anxiety. What is it? Why I think it is important to differentiate from anxiety and how to know you might be dealing with it.Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

I am BACK! So excited to be back chatting with you.  Today I am sharing my personal story of both Resistance and Procrastination when it comes to the Happiness Hacks Podcast. Sometimes it is hard to tell which you are experiencing. Hope this episode helps!!Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

So many of my clients talk about feeling invisible. The issue isn't that they aren't showing up in their lives or that they don't feel seen. The problem is they feel seen not for themselves but for how they SHOULD be performing. Do you agree? Listen and let me know. Special Note: Listen carefully around the 3-minute mark our cat Gus makes his voice known...he is practicing being visible!!  Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com