In the thick of raising children or building a career or juggling the many demands that life imposes on us, it's easy for couples to feel like relationship matters have been put to the side. You don't intend for this to happen, of course. It's easy for things to feel so vanilla, routine, or monotonous between you and your spouse. So how do some couples work through these challenges effectively? I love releasing podcasts episodes like this one, because these guests aren't so-called "experts" that pretend to have everything figured out, they're ordinary men like me and you. They have regular normal challenges; yet, their stories are inspiring because their insights are applicable to everyone. My guests, Clint and Tony, were part of the latest men's small group coaching program that I run periodically. You'll get to hear all about their experience as well as other special insights that they've gained as a result of participating in this life changing program. One thing I've learned over the years of doing this work is that men need men. When good men band together, committed to helping each other become better husbands and fathers, great things happen. Registration is now open for our next cohort for our men's small group coaching program, like the one Tony and Clinton just did. This 12-week program is limited to just 8-10 men, and it starts September 4. The program includes a comprehensive course and coaching to help you apply proven principles in your unique circumstances. I'm absolutely certain this program is a good fit for you if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, yet feel like something is missing when it comes to intimacy. You'll definitely uncover what's missing and witness a transformation in yourself over the 12 weeks we meet together. All of these details are here on my website. By the way we also have an equivalent women's program starting in October, so check back for those details too. Other Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is part two of the podcast we released last Friday (#200). And if you haven't listened to that one, I highly recommend you pause this episode and go back and listen to #200 first. These two episodes are continuation of a project that I started a few months ago to better understand what it means for me to cherish my spouse. I shared a tragic story about my wife's cousin and how that really propelled us to understand what it means to cherish others better. In the process, I've sought out mentors to help me understand this concept better. And you get to hear snippets of the conversations I've had with them - you get to be a fly on the wall and learn with me and what it really means to cherish your spouse. And to love them really, really well. Of all the things I talk about on the podcast -- sex, orgasms, initiating, foreplay -- I think learning how to cherish your spouse whole heartedly takes the cake! This is the most important. This is the sum of everything that I wish you would get from my podcast. I hope these two episodes become the most downloaded episodes of the entire podcast. And this is what I want to be known for. I want you to know that to really love and cherish your spouse is at the heart of everything we do, even your sexual interactions (which we talk a lot about on this podcast, right?). It's about how you cherish your spouse through the language of your sexuality and sharing that with your spouse exclusively. So today you get a year from three more mentors that I look up to a lot: Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). So you get three different perspectives here on the same kind of thing, different stages of life, different worldviews. And in case you missed it, I talked to Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens, (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage) in part 1. I hope this is the inspiration you need to make the most of your marriage relationship--make the changes, get the help, and do what you need to do-- to find that deep and abiding love, the cherishing that brings the deepest meaning and satisfaction to our lives.   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

We recently experienced the loss of a family member very suddenly, a young mom with three children, and it has made me want to love and appreciate and cherish my wife more. And so this set me out on a personal project to understand the concept of cherishing a little better. This project has really changed me. It has changed me in my intimate interactions with my wife and with my children and with others. I've learned how to be a lot more present with them, less anxious. And the way I make love to my wife has brought a different tone to our marriage. It's more connecting, it's more real, it's more eyes open. There's a more genuine desire to be close to each other in our love making also. To help me in my quest to better understand cherishing and what it means for me in my life and in my marriage, I've sought out a few mentors to help me and I've recorded our conversations. I've asked them just a simple question: "What does it mean to cherish your spouse?" And I just sat back and listened as these great teachers shared so many nuggets from their life experiences. Because this topic has had such a big impact on me, and I didn't want you to miss any of it, I've decided to split this into two podcasts episodes. In this episode, you'll get to hear from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage). And in a special bonus episode on Monday, August 19, you'll get to hear part 2 from Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). Takeaways As you listen to what these wise people say . . . ♥️ I hope you'll listen with an open heart. ♥️ I hope it changes you as much as it changed me. ♥️ I hope this episode will inspire you to treat your spouse with a lot more appreciation and a lot more dignity. ♥️ I hope you'll find greater strength to look past the trivial barriers that get in the way of true connection. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put down the phone more often and to actually gaze into your spouse's eyes. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put your arm around him or her and hold them close, because you never know, today might be the last day you'll be together for a long time.   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

It's interesting that we live in a day and age where it's not the popular thing to want a family and a strong, committed marriage with complete fidelity.  At least in America, the trend is to make wealth the ultimate measure of our progress in life.  But I got to tell you: if you're looking for an investment that would give you a return on happiness, I can't think of anything more of lasting value than a vibrant, passionate and intimate marriage. This kind of marriage brings our the best in both individuals and creates a safe and loving home for children as well. Having a marriage I'm excited about is worth everything to me.  In today's episode, you'll get to hear what I said on my friend Angelo's podcast. He recently interviewed me, and in our conversation we talked about some really great topics such as . . .  Why it's important to prioritize or marriage Why sexual desire differences arise in long-term marriages (and how to solve it) How to have candid conversations with a spouse about sex And more! Resources: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Listeners dive into the complexities of intimacy, tackling real-life marital questions. A husband grapples with his wife's perceived lack of interest in sex. There's a meaningful discussion on the role of erotic literature in Christian marriages. The struggle for novelty and exploration in the bedroom is examined, along with the impact of health on attraction. Tips for romantic gestures to reignite passion and communication strategies to express desires are shared, all aimed at enhancing marital intimacy.

Building a long-term, intimate marriage is the most exciting demanding and soul expanding work that many of us will ever do in this life. All of the specific challenges to confront and overcome will be different from couple to couple, but many of the same tools work for many couples.   I met Keith and Lindsey through my Get Your Marriage On Program, where my team and I help couples and individuals implement various tools and strategies into their marriage to bring their intimacy to the next level. Keith and Lindsey are definitely the kinds of people you'd love to have as close neighbors and friends: they're really genuinely good people. And you can tell that they like each other very much. They've agreed to share their story with you today in hopes of inspiring you in your marriage. And this episode, Keith and Lindsay will answer questions such as the following: What misconceptions and societal pressures affect sex and marital roles? What tools help them most in their journey?  How did they rewrite the many narratives and scripts that they (like all of us) inherited from their culture and families that get in the way of building a good intimate marriage and sex life? How do they balance the demands of work, kids, travel and intimacy all in marriage?   If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I'm very excited about today's episode today! We get to address a lot of juicy topics, such as the following: a reluctant wife feeling pressure to give her husband a hand job a couple that wants to try pegging, but is unsure about it a frustrated wife that feels like all the effort she's making to improve her marriage is one sided and feels a lot of pain because of that a husband shares that the pain of being in a low intimacy marriage, where either fight about sex or have none at all, and he's tired of it a couple asks about using penis rings a frustrated wife, whose husband is only interested in sex if he's the one initiating (which is unfortunately really infrequent) a discouraged wife that must resort to using a vibrator in order to orgasm when penetrative manual oral stimulation is preferred These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage. If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me.   Resources mentioned in today's episode: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life Episode 87: Healing From Pornography with Zach & Darcy Spafford Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

In many marriages, there are people that feel like they do far more than their share of the relationship work, but why do they tend to take on the responsibility of their spouse's share of the relationship, especially in stressful situations?   Intimate marriages are like a system like an air conditioning and heating system in your home. It works hard to keep things at an even temperature or homeostasis. When the temperature gets too high, the air conditioning kicks on to cool things down, and when the temperature gets too low, the heater kicks on to heat things up. So it's a system, a way of keeping things normal and functioning in  a environment where people can live.   When there's stress and anxiety in the relationship, one person may tend to be com overly responsible for the relationship to calm the other person down, to bring the relationship back into homeostasis. This is called the over-functioning / under-functioning dynamic. And it shows up in sex too. If you've ever said to yourself, "If I wasn't the person to always initiate sex here, nothing would ever happen," this could be a sign that you're an over-functioner in your sexual relationship.   My guest on this episode, Dr. Kathleen Smith, is a world renowned expert on systems theory and relationships. And this is her second time on my podcast (her first appearance was episode #45). She's the author of a new book, True to You, in which she discusses the overfunctioning under-functioning dynamic in relationships and how to fix it, and that is also the topic of our discussion today.  If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

"I just have a hard time with some of the things you said on your podcast. How can you be okay with things like toys, lingerie, and even talk about sex so publicly like that. I grew up with the understanding that those things aren't appropriate to discuss." I can absolutely relate. This conversation with this sincere woman took me back several years ago when I was struggling with the exact same concerns. And I've been pondering her concern and reflecting on my own weeks, a month of struggles working through them. I haven't shared my podcast here in depth about the wrestle that I went through that was so profound. It's become my calling in life to help couples like you enjoy a passionate and intimate sexual relationship in your marriage. If you would have told me back then that I'd be talking about sex in nearly 200 podcast episodes with over 1.2 million downloads, along with retreats, coaching and apps, I would've thought you were completely bonkers. But then again, It, might've not been that crazy after all . . . Tune in for discussions about the things I've learned along they way that can help you in your marriage, especially how one can know and decide what is right to do in the bedroom and in your marriage and not, as well as working through conflicts and creating a thriving marriage. If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

I get asked frequently about what to do when you (or your husband) comes too quickly during sex, or has premature ejaculation.  I wanted to do an in-depth episode on this topic to address the many questions that we have because frankly, sex isn't that enjoyable when it's over too quick or you just don't last as long as you'd like to. Even if this is something you don't deal with right now in your marriage, the information in this episode will teach you how to keep your sexual health in tip top shape for your marriage.   My guest today is Mark Goldberg. He is a sex therapist out of Maryland that specializes in common male sexual dysfunction issues, such as premature ejaculation. You can get more information about overcoming sexual dysfunctions on his website: erectionIQ.com If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources: Intimately Us App How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13 Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.