Love in Action

Marcel Schwantes talks with author Dr. Melanie Katzman about her book, Connect First: 52 Ways to Ignite Success, Meaning and Joy at Work. Melanie is a psychologist and executive coach to the world's top organizations and government agencies.  She is also the founder of Katzman Consulting and a founding partner of the global nonprofit Leader's Quest. She has been featured in The Financial Times, New York Times, Vanity Fair among others, and has made numerous television appearances on ABC, CBS and Lifetime.The big idea in Melanie’s book is that we should stop and take a look at the many things that can be done on a daily basis to improve our lives and the lives of the people that we work with. Her book gives practical, actionable ideas to improve our lives. [4:14]If we don’t change ourselves, we can’t change anything around us. [4:59]Smiling is a neuro hack: if you smile at someone, they smile back at you. A smile ignites engagement with others immediately. [5:24]Marcel asks why connecting matters from a business standpoint. Melanie responds that it matters because it’s the way to get the highest quality information as quickly and frequently as possible. If you alienate people they will not perform for you. [7:30]Engaging all your senses means being attentive to people. See the people around you, smile, talk with them. Listen to them: focus on understanding the message they are trying to communicate to you. Share food together to get to know them and understand their culture. [8:15]Melanie explains that being popular means being the person who people want to be with. People respond to people who show an interest in them, she says. This is important to help you advance in your career. [10:56]One of the best ways to connect with others is to tell stories. Stories reduce your listener’s defenses, makes them calm down and listen to you, and taps into the part of our biology that helps us connect. [12:10]Marcel says that handling conflict takes skill, and not having that skill can cause damage. He asks Melanie to share how we can resolve conflict amicably without losing connection. [12:39]Melanie says that you don’t have a real relationship unless you’ve handled conflict and come through it successfully together. She shares how to handle conflict successfully, including advice on how to apologize the right way. [13:07]Two trends that are causing people to forget how to connect in the workplace are our focus on our technological devices and the speed associated with technology. We’ve come to expect instant responses and results, and are so busy we brush aside the human to human connection we all need. [17:14]The lack of human connection leads to a lot of conversation in our heads with ourselves, in which we develop a whole narrative about what the other person thinks or feels about us. Oftentimes we’re wrong. [19:03]Melanie explains the science of why we need human connection and the positive outcomes when we connect. [20:00]They discuss love and fear in the workplace. Melanie shares why she believes people lead from fear, and the benefits of leading with love. [23:40]Melanie wants us to realize that no matter your situation, what you do and how you do it makes all the difference for yourself and for others and for the community around you. So don't be paralyzed. Take action and recognize that we all have a platform, and we should leverage it with intention. [32:56]Resources:Melanie Katzman on LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook Connect First Send Marcel a text message!

This week’s guest is executive coach and thought leader, Steve Farber, who teaches that love, rather than being a soft skill as it’s widely considered, is a hard-core leadership principle that helps shape winning businesses and elevates the customer and employee experience. Steve authored the seminal book, The Radical Leap - widely considered one of the top 100 business books ever written. He is the President of Extreme Leadership Inc., and he recently released another book, Love is Just Damn Good Business. He chats with host Marcel Schwantes about his latest work.At work, we have the opportunity to create a transformative culture and quality experience. If we do, we can impact our businesses, our customer experience, and our lives, for the better. [5:19]Love is the core of great leadership and it's at the foundation of any thriving competitive business. [6:32]Steve presents the business case for love as a strategic advantage. We need our customers to love what we do for them because that’s our competitive advantage. The only way to create that kind of experience for our customers is to create an environment where employees love working. [8:04]I can't create or contribute to a culture that people love working in unless I first love it myself. [9:04]Marcel asks Steve to unpack the formula for putting love into action: Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do. Steve explains that this means doing what you love, to serve people in such a profound way that they love you in return. [9:43]Steve explains the LEAP model of leadership: cultivate Love, generate Energy, inspire Audacity, and provide Proof. Love is not just the first element of LEAP, it makes the other elements possible. [13:00]Leadership is not about your position or title, it's about the way you engage in the world around you and your ability to influence people to change things for the better. Leadership by its nature is extreme because you're involved in the act of transformation in some way. You're stretching and growing your own skills and capabilities and doing that for the people around you. [15:23]Love is a must-have. It affects our bottom line, our productivity, our profitability; it gives us a better chance of increasing market share and reducing turnover. [20:27]Applying the principles of love means raising expectations and standards; at the same time, your tolerance for substandard behavior goes down. [22:50]Ask yourself: Why do I love this place? Is there something in this experience that I love? How do I show it, or how do I show it better? [23:02]Marcel asks, Why do so many leaders still lead with an iron fist instead of love and compassion? Steve thinks it’s because it’s easy to leverage your position of authority; that some people enjoy having power over others; and many people think that’s the way a leader is supposed to be. [36:21]A leadership question anyone can ask themselves: What can I do right now, regardless of what anybody else around here is not doing, to change my piece of this organization for the better? [40:38]Marcel adds that regardless of your position or status, you can impact your surrounding environment. [42:50]Steve encourages listeners to find something in your life that you love doing, and do it just because. That simple action will spark joy in your life. [44:00] Marcel reminds us that when love is baked into the employee experience, the customer experience is going to be off the charts and they will reciprocate with loyalty and referrals. [48:37]ResourcesSteveFarber.comLinkedIn Twitter Instagram Facebook Win a free copy of Steve’s book!Contribute your stories of love and fear. The first 15 people to do so will be mailed a free copy of Steve’s book.Send Marcel a text message!

This week's show is sponsored by TDIndustries, a legendary Fortune magazine Best Companies to Work For. Like Joel Peterson's message in his book The 10 Laws of Trust, TD has made trusting relationships the foundation of its success. To learn more about TDIndustries visit TDIndustries.com or listen to episode 19 featuring CEO Harold McDowell. Marcel chats with Joel Peterson in this week’s show. Joel is the Chairman of JetBlue and author of the recently re-released book The 10 Laws of Trust: Building the Bonds That Make a Business Great. Listen in to learn how you can build a high trust organization.When there's trust with teams, things go more rapidly, you innovate more, people are more flexible and innovative, and they just have more fun! When you’re in a turnaround where things aren’t going well for your company, you better have high trust or your turnaround won’t succeed. [3:34]Marcel asks, How big a problem is a lack of trust? Joel responds that trust is at risk in society as well as in organizations. As a result, politics takes over and people jostle for power. People operate by fear and greed rather than duty or love. [4:27]You can use the diagnostic tool in Joel's book to measure the level of trust in your company, and start applying the 10 laws to build a high trust organization. [6:36]Changing a culture of mistrust is very difficult: it happens one conversation at a time, one person at a time, and it starts with you. [ 7:32] What needs to be removed from the path for trust to happen, Marcel asks. We build trust by delivering on promises, Joel responds. Transparency, clarity and constant feedback are also vital.[ 8:30]Joel explains how a high trust culture saves a company money. [12:32]Law 2 is Invest in Respect. If you want to build a great culture you need to have respected people on a winning team doing something meaningful.  [14:56]Law 8 is Show Humility. People don't trust leaders who never admit a mistake or show vulnerability. Humble leaders allow themselves to be influenced, they take feedback seriously. [17:05]There are two levels of betrayal. Joel advises how to deal with each type. He emphasizes that where there is a values dispute, remove yourself from the situation. People will compromise on many things, but not their values. [18:16]Marcel wants to know how leading from fear destroys trust. Fear is a strong motivator, Joel explains, but it's not viable long-term. Once you scare someone into doing something, they will do it as long as they feel afraid; the minute they're no longer scared, they will either leave or get back at you. [21:53]Love is the most powerful motivating force in the universe. Plus it's completely durable. If you can build an organization rooted in love, where you care deeply for one another, your company’s potential is limitless. [ 23:00]ResourcesJoel’s book: The 10 Laws of Trust: Building the Bonds That Make a Business Great JoelCPeterson.com To see how Love in Action works at TDIndustries, visit TDIndustries.com  Subscribe to the TD Talks blog Send Marcel a text message!

This week’s guest on the Love In Action podcast is Richard Boyatzis, a renowned expert on emotional intelligence and bestselling author. Richard and his colleagues at Case Western University have recently released a new book entitled Helping People Change, which reveals their findings about a more effective approach to helping people learn and change behaviors.The big idea in the book is that we want to help others learn or change, but how we go about it causes them to close down to new ideas, which is the opposite of what we’re aiming for. The way to help people open up to change is to inspire them into the psychophysiological state he calls the Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA). Richard advocates the Coaching With Compassion approach. [04:55] Marcel asks why we tend to try to fix people or coach for compliance. Richard lists both negative and positive reasons why we tend to do this. One negative reason is if we’re in a position of authority, we may think we know what other people should do and we try to make them do it. A positive reason is that we may really care for the person. [06:58]Coaching with compassion is a way of approaching someone that helps to stimulate a  psychological state of mood that focuses on more positive than negative. It allows you to ameliorate the ravages of stress and, being more in the empathic network of your brain, makes you open to new ideas and people. This state can be invoked through two main approaches:asking a person about their dreams, which makes them feel hopeful;building and maintaining more caring relationships with other people which stimulates compassion and gratitude. [12:08]The PEA state is when a person is open to new ideas, people and emotion. Before any learning or change can happen, you need to be in this state because it helps to create the Tipping Point. You want to go into this state periodically every day to tone down the stresses of life. [16:05] Richard says that it's the responsibility of every leader or manager to understand the dreams of the people who report to them. Most organizations are sub-optimizing their human capital. If you activate your human capital by understanding and inspiring them, they will make magic for your organization. [18:22]Marcel asks Richard to unpack an interesting story from his book about diabetic patients. Richard describes how a shared vision of their long-term future with their physicians, increased patients’ treatment adherence. This research can be translated into the workplace, he agrees. [25:25]No organization in the world exists to make money, Richard says. They exist to serve people. Making money is how to measure how effectively you're doing that. [33:15]Instead of focusing on the task, focus on engaging the person doing the task. [36:15]You can create a sustainable culture of caring in your organization by helping your people to form coaching groups where they care for and rely on each other. [ 37:18]Richard shares how our minds and bodies react in a fear-based environment versus a loving one. [38:30]Marcel asks the question "Why do people still lead through fear?" Richard shares his thoughts on narcissism and it's impacts. [43:50]Resourcesrichard.boyatzis@case.eduBook: Helping People ChangeSend Marcel a text message!

As you seek to rise to the next level — whether that means a new job, a challenging promotion, an entrepreneurial venture, or a whole new direction — it’s often the case that the skills that got you here won’t necessarily get you where you want to go. In fact, the very behaviors that served you well in the past may be in your way. Sally Helgesen has been cited in Forbes as the world’s premier expert on women’s leadership. She is a best-selling author, speaker and leadership coach and has been ranked among the world’s top 20 leadership thinkers by Global Gurus. She joins Marcel Schwantes to talk about some of the most common habits that undermine women in their quest to become more successful, and what she has found gets in the way of women reaching their fullest potential. Sally has had the same twofold mission for over 30 years: to help present and aspiring women leaders to recognize, articulate, and act on their greatest strengths; and to help organizations develop more inclusive cultures where women can thrive and realize their best talent. [4:15]Marshall Goldsmith’s book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There, identified the behaviors most likely to get in the way of successful people. Sally was very influenced by the book, but noticed that some of the behaviors that Marshall focused on were distinctive to his male CEO coaching base. She suggested that they collaborate on a book with the same theme but adapted to identifying the behaviors and habits most likely to get in the way of successful women. The resulting book, How Women Rise, seems to resonate in a deeply personal way with women leaders around the world. [5:07]Sally describes two behaviors that hold women back in their careers. She states, By proving that you're the best for the job you have, you are proving that you are perfect for the job you have. You need to be competent at your present job, while also keeping your eye on where you want to go. [7:40]There is an inverse correlation between competence and confidence, according to Argentinian sociologist Dr. Tomas Chamorro, guest on Episode 12 of this podcast. People tend to think that men who are extremely confident are competent which is often not true. On the other hand, women tend to lack confidence when they are in fact very competent. [13:00]People change their minds when they change their behavior and get different results. Sally has been advocating for leaders to demonstrate inclusive behaviors because this is how to create a more inclusive culture. [16:48]Leaders become better by focusing on their strengths, and assessing their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Some of the greatest strengths of successful women leaders are:putting themselves in the center of things;valuing relationships and attending to building the details of relationships;communicating across levels rather than always up and down; bringing information from their personal lives into the work lives;understanding the value of a diverse workforce. [22:53] More women need to position themselves as visionaries. This will help increase the number of women in the C-Suite. [26:06]People in a knowledge economy need to be engaged in order to produce, and fear does not engage. [33:22] The people most successful in making long-term positive change in their lives are those who engage others. Don't try to do it alone. [37:17]Resources SallyHelgesen.comSally on LinkedInContribute your story of love and fear Send Marcel a text message!

Dr. Carol Grannis is the Chief Self-Esteem Officer for Self Esteem Brands, the parent company of the Anytime Fitness franchise system which is the fastest-growing franchise in the country. She has 28 years of experience in HR, Employee Engagement, and Training and Development. She is also a speaker, lecturer and facilitator for groups all over the world. She chats with host Marcel Schwantes about vulnerability in this week's show.Vulnerability is self-disclosure. It is being courageous about disclosing a mistake, something personal about yourself that's hard, or an emotion. There is a palpable, resonant feeling among people in the room when leaders are vulnerable. [5:10]Trust is built when a leader shares a mistake or something personal. Another outcome is that people see you as human. [6:33]You can be too vulnerable. Carol says that when you share your mistakes without also sharing a solution and what you learned from your mistakes, your team may doubt your capability as a leader. The pivot point is to share your mistake and then say, “here's what I've learned about it and this is what I'm going to do differently.” [8:48]Self-disclosure can be planned or unplanned. Most leaders plan to share a story about their vulnerability as a trust-building strategy. They find that when they share, people are in the moment, and there is a sense of relief and connection. [10:40]Our culture teaches us to be tough and competitive. This is why it's so hard for people to be vulnerable, Carol says. We also fear how we would be perceived as a leader if we display vulnerability.  [15:09]It is a myth that self-disclosure comes easier for women than for men. Carol finds that when asked intentional questions, men show up just as much as women do. [17:22] Marcel asks why people still lead with the iron fist instead of love and care? Carol responds that it is because leaders are rewarded for financial or sales outcomes. Iron fist leadership may get you short-term results but will eventually burn you out. [19:20]Carol shares her stories of when she felt love and fear at work. [24:52] It is important for leaders to show love by acknowledging, caring about and understanding their employees. It is just as important for leaders to show love to themselves. [30:28]Carol challenges listeners to do the Personal Histories Exercise at their next team meeting. Leaders should go first and practice vulnerability. She promises that the tenor, resonance, and relationship of your team will change. [32:20]ResourcesCarol’s Twitter: @CarolGrannisCarol’s Instagram: @carol.grannisEmail: carol.grannis@sebrands.comContribute your story of love and fearSend Marcel a text message!

Marcel Schwantes chats with Dr. Melissa Hughes about how the brain works and how to make it work better. Dr. Hughes, a neuroscience expert, is the author of Happy Hour With Einstein, as well as a keynote speaker and thought leader. She shares practical applications of neuroscience to help leaders learn habits that lead to positive work cultures of belonging, psychological safety and gratitude.Learning is not confined to the classroom. Everyone wants to know how to make their brain work better. What differentiates one company from the other is the ability to learn together. [4:00]Companies implement many initiatives to increase employee engagement. However, research shows that the biggest reward comes when people feel valued and respected. We all want to know that what we do matters. [5:40]Psychological safety is very important: employees need to feel safe enough to take risks, and be authentic and vulnerable without fear of negative consequences. In psychologically safe teams, members feel respected and accepted. These teams perform better. [6:26]We all need to feel a sense of belonging at work. When we do, our brain generates neurotransmitters to facilitate activity in the prefrontal cortex. When we feel that we don't fit in, our brain releases stress chemicals to activate the fear-threat center. Belonging is the foundation for culture and culture is the foundation for engagement. The leader’s job, therefore, is to make people feel connected, happy and satisfied. [11:00]Instead of asking how to increase engagement, leaders should ask how to decrease cortisol and increase dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, the good neurotransmitters that make people feel connected and creative. [14:00]Melissa explains how oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine affects our emotions. She shares simple ways how leaders can create experiences for their employees that generate these feel-good brain chemicals. [16:06]Gratitude is a natural antidepressant. It elevates our mood, lowers blood pressure and heart rate, and gives us a greater sense of belonging. When we practice gratitude we release dopamine and serotonin which travels to the bliss center of our brain. The more these neural pathways are stimulated, the stronger and more automatic they become. [28:49]Increasing productivity does not start with how to do the work. It starts by treating people with the same care and compassion as those we love. When we do this, we create a better work environment with higher productivity because everyone is invested emotionally in what they are doing. [40:20]When we learn how to trigger positive emotions we can reach our highest potential and find purpose, success and satisfaction. [42:35]ResourcesMelissaHughes.rocksSend Marcel a text message!

Marcel Schwantes chats with Harold MacDowell, an icon in the servant-leadership movement. Harold is the CEO of TD Industries, a $631M company with over 2600 employees, called partners in the company. TD Industries has made the Fortune Magazine Best Companies to Work For list for 17 consecutive years under Harold’s leadership. Marcel and Harold discuss the two sides of servant-leadership, and its personal as well as business impact.Servant-leadership stems from a genuine desire to help others grow. It is placing the growth of other people above your own personal growth. Helping others grow creates more opportunities for the servant-leader. [3:41]Servant-leadership is a two-sided coin. Many people struggle to reconcile the two ideas because servant is equated with being soft, while leader connotes being tough and sometimes even mean. Unless they have had a role model, leaders find it hard to be comfortable with being transparent, showing vulnerability, and asking others to do the same. However, a servant leader must be willing to listen and empathize, while at the same time setting clear expectations and holding others accountable. [ 5:35]The most important questions leaders should ask employees are, Are you getting regular feedback from your supervisor? Are they telling you what they appreciate, but also what you need to do to be more effective? [7:56]Haroldemphasizes that the only thing TD has to sell is the gifts and talents of its people. They use an upside-down organizational chart to help them remember that the most important people inside TD are the frontline partners, the skilled tradespeople who do the most difficult jobs for the company every day. Without them, Harold says, he doesn't have a job. [10:00]Harold explains why TD has not gone public. [12:23]Marcel quotes Ken Blanchard: “ Servant-leadership is love in action.”  Love is manifested through growing your people, developing them, respecting them, and providing for their needs. Fear, on the other hand, is the barrier that causes people not to feel valued or give their best effort. Harold adds that the secret to improving the work environment is to drive out fear. When we get fear out of the environment and get everyone to open up and share their best ideas, we can all find the answers together. [14:10]Our most precious resource is our time. Harold divides his week into 5 appointment buckets, and details what those buckets are. [16:18] Our political leaders can benefit from using Robert Greenleaf’s best test. We can begin to resolve our political differences by asking these questions from the test:Do those served grow as persons?Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, and more likely themselves to become servants? Servant-leadership has enormous personal impact and a ripple effect on families and the community. It positively impacts future generations. On the business side, Harold finds that when we grow great servant-leaders, we grow people faster, we grow our business faster and we see great returns for our stockholders. [20:06]Resources TD Industries harold.macdowell@tdindustries.comSend Marcel a text message!

Marcel Schwantes chats with coach and author Jerry Colonna about his new book, Reboot. They discuss Jerry’s concept of Radical Self-Inquiry and how shame and fear keep us from being happy and fulfilled at work and in life.Leadership represents the opportunity to complete the process of becoming the adult you are born to be. Leaders who do this, lead better and create space for those they lead to complete their own growth process. [4:36] We learn best through stories, examples and modeling rather than being told what to do. Jerry shares his own story of how he hit emotional rock-bottom in 2002 and how he reinvented his life thereafter. [5:40]Radical Self-Inquiry is a process in which we strip away all delusions, masks and play-acting, with compassion. It is radical because we tend to go along with the masks. Jerry admonishes us to stop! Let's be human beings together. The first step is to acknowledge where we are and how we truly feel. Also, be gentle with yourself. [10:23]Dropping the mask is crucial in leadership. Jerry asks, how can you build trust in a company if those who have power are not telling the truth? When facts are spoken and the feelings implied do not match, dissonance emerges and trust is eroded. The collective delusions organizations operate under are rooted in the fact that those who hold power are scared to confront themselves with the basic truth that they are, like the rest of us, just human beings. [22:50]Many leaders experience a Reboot awakening, usually after some devastation or loss, when the facade of their lives start to crack and fall apart. This is a crucible moment where who they are as a person emerges. Jerry shares the story of Chad Dickerson, former CEO of Etsy, whose crucible moment helped him emerge stronger and more true to himself than he was before. [29:50]Shame is one of the most insidious forces that gets us to be complicit and compliant. As leaders we think we are supposed to have all the answers all the time. When we fall short of this mythical standard, we feel shame, which threatens our love, safety and belonging. The shame drives a lot of the mask and story-making that passes for leadership. [34:13] Do we believe, as Machiavelli did, that it is better to be feared than to be loved? Or, like Plato, do we believe in wise leadership, because humans are basically good? If we believe that people are basically good, then our job as a leader is to bring out the best in them. Fear does not do that. [38:15]The polarization that exists in our society today concerns Jerry. He gives advice about how to bridge the divide between ‘Them’ and ‘Us’. There is no ‘Them’: there is only the ‘Us’ who believe this, and the ‘Us’ who believe that. When we understand that we are all broken humans who just want to feel love, safety and belonging, we can bridge the divide in our organizations and in our society. [41:39]Resources Reboot Work with JerrySend Marcel a text message!

Today, Marcel Schwantes talks to Kristen Hadeed, founder of Student Maid, a cleaning company that has employed thousands of students all around the world. This is a challenging industry, but Kristen blew industry standards out of the water with her innovative ideas, company culture and by focusing on love. Marcel and Kristen talk about some of the challenges of running a company, and what Kristen does to keep positive and motivated throughout the day. They recommend a book and strategy that can help you transform your feelings about your life. [02:50]We don’t always end up where we think we’re going to! Kristen talks about her company, Student Maid, how she came up with the idea, and what role a pair of jeans played in building her business empire. [04:30]If you’ve run a business, you’ve experienced staff turnover - but Kristen had to deal with 45 out of a team of 60 walking out on no notice. She talks about what she didn’t know going into her business, and how she became obsessed with becoming a leader people wanted to follow. She and Marcel talk about what leadership is, and how to let go of the ‘standard’ definition. [7:30]In a world where retention is the gold standard, Kristen supports her people leaving to do other things. She actively shares her knowledge with people, and formally trains her employees on the kinds of skills they’ll need throughout their careers. [12:25]Cleaning is NOT an easy (or always pleasant) job, but Kristen’s team is motivated to do it. Marcel wonders about the different generations she works with, and she talks about her outlook on what makes people tick - regardless of when they were born. [16:30]Marcel notes that vulnerability is a word that scares a lot of leaders. Kristen shares what it means to her, and the different ways you can practice it to connect with your people. Often, that means making mistakes and Kristen talks about her most epic screw up, and what she learned because of it. [21:00]Compassion is being considered more and more important in professional relationships. Marcel and Kristen talk about what compassion looks like in the workplace, and how to navigate situations where being compassionate isn’t the same as being nice. Marcel notes that compassion can take the form of tough love. [26:00]As part of the research Marcel is conducting, he and Kristen talk about fear and love in leadership. They get into what success means, being afraid at work, the impacts of experiencing fear and difficulties, and those wonderful times when you get to feel love at work. At the end of the day, Kristen thinks that having a team you can trust and rely on makes a world of difference. [29:45]Kristen talks about one of the challenges many leaders experience - and all dread. Losing one of your top people always hurts, and it can have effects similar to grieving. She also talks about a statistic that is tugging at her heart. [36:30]Marcel asks Kristen to talk about what she thinks will make a difference in people’s lives. She shares something she thinks is critical for every business owner, and other kinds of leaders should try to do. [38:00]ResourcesStudent Maid Permission to Screw UpKristenHadeed.com Send Marcel a text message!