Love in Action What Drives Human Behavior with Dr. Mara Klemich
Feb 13, 2020
50:42
Dr Mara Klemich is a consulting psychologist with degrees in clinical psychology and neuropsychology. She is also the co-founder of Heart Styles. For over 30 years Mara and her husband Stephen Klemich have drawn upon their expertise in psychology, neuroscience and leadership to help people become the best version of themselves. They have developed a radical approach to identifying what drives human behavior, and have outlined those principles in their newly-released book, Above The Line: Living and Leading With Heart.Mara says: “I wanted to see what human beings can do with their lives when they've got all of their brain intact and the only thing that's holding them back is their own fear.” [5:38]The book examines why we do the things we do, how it influences our behavior, and how to develop. [8:13]Mara gives a formula to help us understand why we do the things we do: S+T=B. S stands for situation; T is for thinking; B stands for behavior. Our behavior is determined by our thinking in any situation, she explains. [9:41]The templates in our subconscious may be driving our fear-based or pride-based behavior to protect ourselves. [13:00]Whenever you have a change in your emotions as well as in your physical body, it’s likely that a template is being triggered. Get familiar with your own physiological responses and what usually triggers your defensive mode, so you can preempt them and make different choices. [17:00]All human beings operate out of either love and security, or fear and insecurity. When we feel insecure, we try to hold on to our security through external means. [23:35]Love, authenticity, integrity and building character is about courageous humility, Mara says. [25:00]In their 4-quadrant model, Mara says that “courageous humility and growth-driven love are above the line, whereas self-limiting fear and ego-driven pride are below the line.” [25:40]Marcel asks Mara to share some insights from her research about how the principles of humility and love can transform how we lead and work. She shares an interesting anecdote in response. [29:14]The Heart Styles Indicator is an online assessment that shows you the gap between how you want to be and your present self, and gives you a personalized action plan to help you improve. [35:42]Marcel asks how we can be the best version of ourselves. Mara responds that we have to start with self-awareness. We must have the courage to face the parts of ourselves that we are not satisfied with. When we look at our faults honestly we can start to grow our true character. [39:15]“Real character strength is not hardening your heart,” Mara says. “True character is actually facing your fear and having the courage to actually walk through it.” [46:25]Mara urges listeners to have compassion for others, and not just themselves. [47:32]ResourcesHeartStyles.comStephen and Mara Klemich on Facebook | LinkedIn | InstagramAbove The Line: Living and Leading With Heart