Soul Led Living Podcast with Nikki Novo

If you're reading this, it's because you understand what I understand, which is that finding love is a spiritual journey back to self — back to our worth and our wholeness. What happens along that journey many times is that we are confronted with our past. And if we're not aware of it, we'll be confronted with our past over and over again. This is when we start to question "Why do I keep attracting shitty situations?"This is when we get stuck. There's a part of us that believes in a new future, but we don't understand the role healing our past plays in creating a new reality. In today's episode of The Final Swipe, we take a look at your present through the lens of your past. And to do that, I brought in my soul sister Christine Gutierrez. Christine is a licensed psychotherapist and trauma expert. I love her perspective of trauma and dating, so I wanted to share her with you.If you're ready for a new future (and past and present), this episode is for you.We talk about:How trauma plays out when datingHow we heal our past sometimes through the presentThe process of the death of your pastResources:Christine's digital home: https://christineg.tv/Christine's retreat: https://christineg.tv/Diosa+RetreatMy membership program: https://nikkinovo.com/membership

The term ghosting may be new, but that practice has been around for a while. I remember being ghosted way before it was ever a thing, and feeling like crap. As if something were wrong with me. And it always seem to be "the nice guys" who would do it. You know, those people-pleaser type? Who are too afraid to confront you, so they just pretend nothing ever happened. Ugh, grow a pair.I'm actually happy there's a term for it now, because before it felt quite shameful and lonely. At least now, we're able to encourage a little accountability on the ghoster. With swipe culture, ghosting has become even more rampant, considering there are so many blurred lines when it comes to what kind of interaction actually deserve closure. Regardless, we can all agree it doesn't feel good to be ghosted. But it also doesn't feel great having to let someone know that you're not feeling the connection. So in the end, we ghost, too. Today, I want to talk about how we can all put an end to ghosting, but not ghosting on our end. I don't say this because I believe karma is going to get you. I say this because, for so many of us, dating feels like a scary, unsafe interaction with heartless strangers. When we ghost we perpetuate that belief. When we agree to close the loop on all our dating interactions, we start to see that the dating world is actually not scary or ugly, but rather filled with a group of feely humans all putting themselves out there in hopes of finding their version of love. In other words, we humanize the process, which then makes us feel better about the concept of dating as a whole. In today's episode, I go deeper into the topic. We talk about how to stop ghosting, how to handle being ghosted, and how to see the dating world as a good place. Give it a listen and share it with that friend who is a notorious ghoster! Make the dating world a better place. We talk about:How to stop ghostingHow to recover after being ghostedHow to see the dating world as a good placeResources:My Book, "The Final Swipe" https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1?ie=UTF8&text=Nikki+Novo&search-alias=books&field-author=Nikki+Novo&sort=relevancerankMy membership program: https://nikkinovo.com/membership

The reason we can't find love is not because there are no good people out there. It's not because "everyone on dating apps just wants to hook up."Truthfully, it's rarely what we think it is. It's always something so much deeper. When I was on my dating journey my biggest challenge was not feeling good enough. When I explored the origin of that belief, I was brought to mother. I realized that I saw myself through the eyes of my mother. And her eyes, weren't always the kindest when looking at me.Now that I'm a mother, I realize what a hard job it is. And how so many of us are mothering from a broken heart. But still, we affect the ones we mother. Even the best of us do! God knows my kids will be on some therapy couch one day talking about how I messed them up in one way or another. It can be scary, but we need to go there. Until we examine the mother relationship, we can't full see ourselves. And if we can't fully see ourselves, we can't fully accept love. For this reason, I sought out Mother Wound expert Bethany Webster to be a guest on The Final Swipe podcast. This is such an important topic, and Bethany did such a great job explaining what the mother wound is and how it can affect our dating life. Give it a listen. And if you know a friend who has mom issues, please send it along. We talk about:What the mother wound is. My mother wounds!How to overcome our mom issues in order to love ourselves more. How to manage troubled mom issues. Resources:Bethany's website: https://womboflight.com/

Have you ever found yourself having the same relationship over and over again? Somehow, you're always the healer in the relationship? Or the one who financially supports everything? Or you're with people who only want to hook up?You probably think your manifesting skills are off, when really it's this one little thing that's off. When dating, we subconsciously think about what we have to offer. Even if we are repeating, "I am enough," over and over again, we still tend to lead with a part of us — a part that we're usually proud of. This is what I call "our energetic agreements" in relationships. May you come into relationships saying "I'm really good at fixing. I will fix any problems you have or any that show up in our relationship."May you are proud of your financial success and your ability to provide. You may say "I will pay for all things."Or may be you've been told your whole life that you're really smart. Guess what you're going to rely on when texting? Yep, your smarts. So, it's not that we're manifesting these kid of people, we're unconsciously setting the tone right at the beginning, and we may be setting a tone we really are trying to get away from!In today's episode of The Final Swipe, I discuss this little thing we miss when dating, and I teach how you can switch it around so you can give yourself the best chance at creating the relationship into one you really want, rather than more of the same.We talk about:The energetic agreements we make at the beginning of each relationship. How to attract the right partner.How to be yourself when dating.Resources:My membership program: https://nikkinovo.com/membership

No matter how zen we try to be about dating, there's one thing women can't get around: our biological clocks. There is nothing fun about dating when you feel like "time is running out," which is why many women opt to freeze their eggs. And while it might be common in big cities, not all of us have access to real info about the process. Not all of us have a friend who have been through the process. In today's episode of The Final Swipe, my beautiful friend, Michelle, was so kind to share her story with us. We go deep into the details: costs, emotions, dating life... It's everything you would get from your close friend. I think many of you will see yourself in Michelle. And through her journey, you can understand yours better. Have you thought about the process? Are you thinking about it? Let me know your thoughts below. We talk about:Reasons why a woman might consider freezing her eggsThe costs related to freezing your eggsThe physical and emotional process of freezing eggsThe dos and donts of freezingHow freezing your eggs could affect your dating lifeResources:Michelle's doctor, Dr. Zaher Merhi MD, https://www.newhopefertility.com/

We all want to feel safe. Dating is often painful because the process does not feel safe at all. Because of this desire, we often look for our potential partner to make us feel safe. Which is natural, but sometimes we can take it a little too far and create too much pressure for this person we just met. In today's episode of The Final Swipe, you and I are going to talk about how you can soothe your own anxiety about not feeling safe. This way, you feel empowered internally and you're not putting unnecessary pressure on this new person that you like.I promise it won't hurt too much! Give this episode a listen and you'll feel better already.We talk about:How we can feel safe even when we're not sure of the other person's intentionsHow we unintentionally become needy and how we can turn it aroundTips and tricks for easing our own worry and anxiety during the beginning stages of datingResources:My membership program: https://nikkinovo.com/membership

One of the best things I did in in 2018 was join a sister circle. I'd heard all the hype about sisterhood, but didn't think it was for me. I'm one to think I can do it all by myself, ha!Seriously, gathering with the same group of women, every month, for a year created so much transformation in me. For this reason, I wanted to talk to you about sisterhood. To do that, I brought on my friend Emily Cassel who spends so much time in sisterhood, on the show to expand on the topic. Being that we're still in the beginning of 2019, I really hope you consider doing group work with like-minded women. Even though finding love seems like a goal for one, it's amazing what can happen when you're with other women who have that same intention for you and for themselves. Listen in on this conversation and see what sticks out to you. Don't let that intuition go to waste. We talk about:Sisterhood! What it is, what it isn't and why you need itHow to be in our divine feminine when dating How Emily found a boyfriend after only a few dates on TinderResources:Emily's website: https://www.emilycassel.com/Emily's podcast, Sexy Soulful Success: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/sexy-soulful-success-with-emily-cassel/id1440523808

Hello lovers!It’s our first episode of 2019. Woohoo! I was so over 2018. I mean, there was some good stuff. We welcomed our third child into the world this year! But other than that it was all sorts of ego dying. What’s ego dying? I talk about in this episode. In this episode, I talk about what 2018 meant and how that will lead into 2019. I also share a few predictions for what we’ll see as a whole when it comes to love. Hint, hint: it’s good stuff. Enjoy!

Despite wanting to find love, most of us hate dating because it makes us feel all sorts of crazy. That crazy, uncomfortable feeling is not a sign that you need to runaway to the monastery. That feeling is anxiety. What's tricky is that often we don't know it's anxiety. Instead, we think that feeling means "this isn't the right thing," or "I shouldn't be dating," or "I'm not ready to date," or "Maybe I shouldn’t be dating the opposite sex," and so on. Recognizing anxiety, and then understanding what triggers your anxiety, is going to be a huge part of your dating success. In hopes of bringing this super important topic to light, I asked anxiety expert — and just all around beautiful human — Sheryl Paul to joins me on The Final Swipe to share her wisdom on this topic. My friend, we are so lucky to have her. She hasn't done press in a really long time. And I did I mention she's been on the Oprah show? Yeah.This is a must-listen to episode. And beyond this show, I hope you continue to follow her work as she'll be an amazing resource for you on this journey to love. We talk about:Anxiety! How to catch and work through it when datingHow to know if the person you're dating has relationship anxietyHow dating someone with relationship anxiety can really mess with your intuition and self-esteemResources:Sheryl's websiteSheryl's new book on anxiety coming out in March 2019

For the last few months, it seems like every time I sit down to meditate with my spirit guide, I have the same vision. It’s like a reoccurring dream, only this vision happens in meditation. It’s basically my spirit guide saying, “Lady, until you learn this lesson, we are not moving on to the next vision.”Spirit guides can be tough like that.What she was trying to teach me was that my external reality is a reflection of my internal client. Meaning, what’s going on inside: my beliefs, my negativity, my positivity, my focus is what I’m creating outside in the world. I know this. You know this. Yet, we don’t always see the blocks that we’re placing in our way. In today’s podcast, I help a beautiful woman see her blocks during a reading I did with her. Lacey was kind enough to allow me to share a piece of her reading with you, so that we can all learn. We talk about:1.    Believing in what we really want2.   How to date with an open heart, but also not be attached to the outcome when dating3.   How to tell if we're resisting changeResources:1.    For making your list, I mention my book "The Final Swipe."2.   Lacey mentions a book she loved titled, "Attached."