Best Life Best Death

Sometimes, the truth is that the dead are not always our “beloved.” Relationships can be incredibly complex, and when a person in a complicated relationship dies, the grief that follows is…complicated. The often-heard phrase “Grief = Love” may resonate with some, but it is far from  universal. This week on the Best Life Best Death podcast, Tawnya Musser and I explore grief in the context of challenging relationships. How do we navigate loss when our feelings about the deceased are conflicted, unresolved, or even all-around negative? What does it mean to grieve someone we didn’t love – or who didn’t love us back? Whether you’re navigating your own feelings of complicated loss or are supporting someone else, this conversation will broaden your understanding of grief beyond a traditional narrative. deardepartures.com https://www.facebook.com/deardepartures https://www.instagram.com/deardepartures/

In this information-filled episode, Tawnya Musser and I explore the power and possibilities of home funerals. What exactly is a “home funeral”? How does it differ from one managed by a funeral home or institution? What might a home funeral look like, and how can family and friends take part in meaningful ways? Most importantly, how does it expand your options when you better understand this legal choice? In this conversation, we dive into what’s possible, what’s typical, and what’s realistic when it comes to home funerals. Learn how a personal approach of caring for and spending time with your dead can create space for community and connection. As Tawnya explains, “People often tell me, ‘I wish I had known this was an option.’ Not everyone will choose a home funeral, but everyone should know they have the choice.”  deardepartures.com https://www.facebook.com/deardepartures https://www.instagram.com/deardepartures/

In this episode, I chat with Jennifer O’Brien, author of The Hospice Doctor’s Widow: An Art Journal of Caregiving and Grief and also Care Boss. (More on that one in another episode!) This book is a deeply moving art journal that captures Jennifer’s experience as a caregiver during her husband Bob Lemberg’s ordeal with metastatic cancer. With digital collages, heartfelt reflections, and Bob’s insights as a hospice doctor himself, Jennifer shares her experience so that others can see a way in and through. We talk about the shifting nature of hope in end-of-life situations, the comfort that comes from shared experiences, and practical advice for caregivers. Beyond the book, Jennifer discusses the importance of community—through widow support groups and other connections—and how art helped her navigate the hardest moments of life and loss. http://jenniferaobrien.com https://www.instagram.com/hospicedoctorswidow/ https://www.facebook.com/hospicedrswidow https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-o-brien-msod-a3b9491/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtgYD1bAJ3igJKNtVb25c-Q

In this episode, I’m joined by Ken Ross, son of the legendary Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whose groundbreaking work revolutionized the field of end-of-life care. Ken shares insights into his mother’s contributions, including the true meaning and intentions behind the “5 stages” model which is so commonly associated with her name. We also explore his ongoing work with the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation to expand access to palliative and hospice care worldwide. Ken reflects on the complexities of grief, the evolution of global hospice care, and his journey as a photographer, shaped by his extensive travels. This episode offers a heartfelt tribute to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s legacy and Ken’s passionate mission to continue spreading her teachings. https://www.instagram.com/elisabethkublerrossfoundation/ https://www.facebook.com/ekublerross/ https://www.youtube.com/@ElisabethKublerRossFoundation

This episode delves into a subject that many find deeply uncomfortable: pregnancy loss. Whether through miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, accident, or medical necessity, countless women, their partners, and families carry this profound pain. How can we, as a culture, become more literate and compassionate about pregnancy loss? How do we honor this vulnerability instead of silencing it? Pregnancy loss often feels taboo, perhaps because conversations about death are challenging for so many — and when it involves the death of a baby, the difficulty multiplies. My eloquent guest, Amy Wright Glenn, captures this sentiment beautifully, saying, “I strive to lift this from the cultural shadow and help us all become more fluent in its language.” https://birthbreathanddeath.com/ instagram.com/birthbreathanddeath Facebook.com/AmyWrightGlenn

As Sarah Kerr puts it, “Grief is a feeling; grieving is an action.” This week, I speak with Janelle Ketcher, an artist and archivist who envisioned a unique way to take action in grief and honor those we’ve lost. What is the Postal Service for the Dead? How does it function, and why is it significant? Could this “simple action” offer a powerful way to process our grief? And what is this magical community of letters all about? Janelle shares, “Ultimately, whether you write a letter or not, I hope this podcast inspires curiosity and sparks conversations!” https://www.janelleketcher.com/postal-service-for-the-dead https://www.instagram.com/postalserviceforthedead

[Note to listeners: Sorry for the not-so-great sound on this one. I had issues.] Erin Whalen has spent years as an actor and acting coach, and she’s now discovered her true calling: Compassionate Coaching. Through improvisational theater with groups of all sizes, she creates space for grief to flow and growth to flourish. But what does that really mean? How did Erin find her way into this unique work? And what is her personal story, including the life and loss of her sister? Erin’s energy and approach are hard to put into words — have a listen and experience her infectious style for yourself! https://www.compassionatecoaching.org/

In this episode, Dr Kaishauna Guidry and I take a look at some myths about hospice, and you’ll hear Dr G’s heart-filled point of view as she busts some of these common misconceptions, including: Hospice is only for the very end of life. All hospices are the same. Hospice is a place you go. It’s expensive and only for the privileged. Calling hospice means giving up hope. Ever heard any of these or believed them yourself? Join us to hear another point of view from a seasoned physician. instagram.com/MourningDoveMedical facebook.com/profile.php?id=100071152321982&mibextid=LQQJ4d

Dr. James Tulsky is passionate about enhancing communication between clinicians and patients. Why are words so vital in the medical field? What do patients and families need most during critical conversations? And what are the key moments where navigating communication effectively can make all the difference? (Spoiler: delivering difficult diagnoses, discussing changes in care or prognosis, and navigating end-of-life conversations.) Dr. Tulsky, alongside Dr. Anthony Back and Dr. Robert Arnold, founded the nonprofit VitalTalk to provide clinicians with practical tools and training to navigate challenging conversations with empathy and clarity. Reflecting on what inspired him to focus on this area – and to go on to train tens of thousands of others in the medical field – Dr. Tulsky shares, “It hit me like a lightning bolt—the power of words.”

Some people possess the rare gift of weaving together knowledge from multiple fields, using it to chart new and inspiring directions. Amy Wright Glenn is one of those remarkable individuals. In this conversation, Amy and I talk about birth, breath and death, and about “holding space” for difficult experiences. What does she mean by that phrase? What are threshold experiences in our lives? How might we strengthen this skill, whether we are family members, friends, or practitioners and clinicians working with clients? How can developing our compassionate presence help us be comfortable with the uncomfortable, so that we can say, “I will be brave enough to sit with you in this.” https://birthbreathanddeath.com/about-amy/ https://www.facebook.com/AmyWrightGlenn https://www.instagram.com/birthbreathanddeath/