Nymphet Alumni

In this special holiday episode, we put on our rose-colored glasses and evoke the shopping malls of our youth to identify a saccharine, age-regressive genus of commodity fetishism hereby known as Sugar Cookie Consumerism. Strolling with a metaphorical Cinnabon in hand, we discuss pre-Stories Instagram, the epidemic of teen pregnancy in the 2000s — 2010s, dessert-scented bath and body products, financial illiteracy, One Direction-era Anglophilia, and Victoria’s Secret PINK as the ultimate girlhood brand. Happy holidays and thank you for an amazing year!! <3 le Nymphet Alumni ♡(つˊ̥̥̥̥̥ ³ ˋ̥̥̥̥̥)つ⊂( ͡ᵔ ྌ ͡ᵔ ⊂)♡‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿LinksImage board: https://pin.it/7gSQUxYThe Arcades Project by Walter Benjamin: https://monoskop.org/images/e/e4/Benjamin_Walter_The_Arcades_Project.pdfMoar examplesPinterest documenting 2010s aesthetics: https://pin.it/V82xx6GTikToks:https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd62x6jo/https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd62fHca/https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd62PLSn/https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd625mv8/https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd62BGkg/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

This week’s episode is dedicated to the Russian Bimbocore aesthetic. We talk spicy white mob wives, hypergamous living dolls, the eternal multiplicity of ushanka hats, and the wintery liminality of Eastern Europe in the Western imagination..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・Links: https://www.pinterest.com/nymphetalumni/ep-17-russian-bimbocore/https://www.miumiu.com/ww/en/miumiu-club/fashion-shows/fw21-fashion-show.htmlhttps://wwd.com/runway/pre-fall-2010/milan/miu-miu/review/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

On this week’s episode, we discuss the social media spectacle of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s whirlwind romance. We analyze the Spiritual Bimbo archetype, dabble in feminism as we reflect on the misogyny of 2000s Hollywood, and consider the timeless appeal of dating a boy in a band. Biz comes out as a burnt out Megan Fox truther, we psychoanalyze Megan’s outfits, and together we phone in a request to get ‘dickmatized’ included in the DSM-5..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・Links:Image references for this episode (essential viewing!!!): https://pin.it/adAWRaUMegan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly profile in GQ: https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/culture/article/megan-fox-machine-gun-kelly-interviewTransformers crew open letter to Megan: https://deadline.com/2009/09/transformers-crew-talk-back-to-megan-fox-15879/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

Happy Fall, y’all! On today’s episode, we discuss the impact of the divisive American female archetype-turned-meme: Christian Girl Autumn. We dive into the domestic coziness of mommy blogging, Target’s neo-hearth-and-home merchandising, growing up in proximity to youth group sex cults, and the infallible glam of crypto-Mormon influencers. Following our spiritual tithes to the reigning queens of fall The Pioneer Woman and Miss Christian Girl Autumn herself, Caitlin Covington, we wage war against Phoebe Bridgers and the notion of ‘spooky season,’ question the efficacy of ‘chosen families,’ forecast Protestant work ethic-chic as the next esoteric aesthetic, and doxx our Starbucks orders.. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .Links:Image references for this episode (essential viewing!!!): https://www.pinterest.com/nymphetalumni/ep-15-christian-girl-autumn/Domestic Cozy by Venkatesh Rao: https://www.ribbonfarm.com/series/domestic-cozy/Christian Girl Autumn meme explainer: https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/8/14/20804030/christian-girl-autumn-meme-hot-girl-summer-explainedBiz’s essays on alt-trad fashion and Godposting:https://i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/g5b4d9/catholicism-alt-fashion-trend-think-piecehttps://various-artists.com/godposting/Caitlin Covington’s blog: https://www.southerncurlsandpearls.com/ The Pioneer Woman: https://www.thepioneerwoman.com/ (she’s on tour rn...) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

Surprise nymplets!! Following our exegesis on nepotism babies, we remained haunted by a few unanswered questions… so we decided to seek an expert’s opinion. On today’s episode, we welcome our first ever boy guest: renowned nepo model expert, notorious casting director, and all-around silly rabbit, Walter Pearce! ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔWalter helps us get to the bottom of the My Year of Rest and Relaxation waif nepo model Twitter complex once and for all. We also discuss Walt’s accidental journey into thinspo Pinterest, the contemporary history of the nepo model, socialism and the Sad Clown Girl-phenotype, and whether models are actually less hot than they were a few decades ago (Walter admits he may have something to do with this ಠ_ಠ)..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・You can find Walter wherever thin beautiful women are located and also...Wet Brain podcast: https://www.patreon.com/wetbrain/Substack: https://walterpearce.substack.com/Instagram: https://instagram.com/walterpearce?utm_medium=copy_linkTwitter: https://twitter.com/walt_knows_best?s=21 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

On today’s episode, we discuss the phenomenal appeal of nepotism. Are Tim Burton vibes so strong that they spiritually transferred themselves onto the Depp family genetic code? Why is Bella Hadid’s botched Aphex Twin realness so transcendently beautiful? Is the biohacked former ugly duckling (Kylie) more resilient than the low-maintenance white girl (Kendall)? These are just a few of the hard-hitting questions we ask during this exegesis of the reluctantly glamorous nepo baby.Episode image board: https://pin.it/4NnJz0R (Warning: contains many nepo baby pix) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

On this week’s episode, we discuss legendary Tumblr-era thot brand OMIGHTY and the twisted world of text post and t-shirt feminism. We also explore the legacy of seapunk and the scene girl diaspora, the nihilism of 2010s music festival culture, and the cultural gluttony of millennial humor. We reflect on the implications of clothing yourself in your digital life, and wrap things up with a wellness check on Baddie Winkle.Links:Image references for everything we talk about: https://pin.it/4YjcuQhVice Seapunk feature: https://www.vice.com/en/article/r795xr/seapunk-washes-upPortrait we talk about at the end: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portrait_of_a_Lady_(van_der_Weyden)This episode was requested by one of our epic listeners, who changed their Instagram handle and so now we can’t find them, but this one goes out to you <3 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

Following the Great Nymphet Alumni Hiatus of July 2021, we consider the vampire gf, examining why everyone’s dressing like characters from Twilight and The Vampire Diaries. We discuss how this trend signals a new era of modesty and the end of the eternally exposed midriff, classify the symptoms of Unremarkable Brunette Protagonist Syndrome, and wax poetic about the power of Converse, camisoles and sweater paws. We also break down the forces behind the revival of late aughts fashion and reveal ourselves to be long torso fetishists in the lineage of Ingres and Alexander McQueen. Thanks so much Sarah Y for the episode request <3Links:Twilight / Bella Swan outfits: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKq3rb4/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKqoyvJ/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKbdYGq/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKqTr3G/The Vampire Diaries / Elena Gilbert outfits: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKbj2Tv/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKbFs1v/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKq3tw2/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKbSAXs/https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdKqEHq6/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

Despite being debilitated by their recent BBL surgeries, Alexi, Biz, and Sam apply their expert analysis to the phenomenon known as The BBL Effect. They discuss the characteristics of e-thottie fashion, parse through the BBL's alarming medical risks, and dread their upcoming recovery process.Brands discussed:Inamorata: https://www.instagram.com/inamoratawoman/?hl=enI AM GIA: https://www.instagram.com/iamgia/?hl=enDi Petsa: https://www.instagram.com/dipetsa/?hl=enKim K in Mugler: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/fashion/fashion-news/a27387049/kim-kardashian-mugler-met-gala-2019/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe

On this week’s episode, we discuss the new age of Internet girl physiognomy as exemplified by TikTok star/US Navy veteran Bella Poarch. We break down the success of TikTok’s most beautiful and babyfaced, examine cuteness as the next source of geopolitical power, and speculate on Bella’s past (and potential future) as a global military asset. We also discuss... jiggle physics..Special thanks to bestie of the pod @default_friend for requesting this episode! Check out her writing below.Links:Bella Poarch: https://www.tiktok.com/@bellapoarchBuild A B*tch - Bella Poarch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLGCGc7sAUwBad Blood - Taylor Swift: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIy9NiNbmoHannah Owo: https://www.instagram.com/aestheticallyhannah/Neekolul: https://www.instagram.com/neekolul/?hl=enReadings:Default Friend on the coming wave of sex negativity: https://defaultfriend.substack.com/p/72-the-coming-wave-of-sex-negativity/commentsCute Studies: https://www.cutestudies.org/The Cuteness of the Avant-Garde: https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/444516 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.nymphetalumni.com/subscribe