Daily Boost - Clarity for Life and Work

As we approach the most spiritual time of year, I find more and more of my thoughts are focused on what my future will bring. But instead of drafting a list of goals, my mind seems to settle into a different place—What if I could give myself a gift that would instantly give me what I want?What if I don't have to chase my dreams and start living them instead?What if there was nothing in my way - ever?While that way of thinking may seem out of touch in today's world, it's not. It happens every day for millions of people worldwide, and it can happen for you too.Here's a simple truth—Everything changes instantly and, very likely, forever when you make a decision. If you hate your job and decide to quit, everything changes.Everything changes instantly if you decide you need some space for yourself, turn your phone off, and take a walk in the woods.If you decide to say "Yes" to yourself and "No" to others more often, you experience change.I could go on forever, but I don't need to. If you've been alive for any length of time, you understand that you're only stuck until you decide not to be stuck. Once you make that decision, you're moving again. That's life.Is it easy? Are the limitations? Are there consequences? Maybe, but many of them are good! The point is that any directional change in your life is possible the instant you decide to recalculate the path you are walking.So this year, why not give yourself the gift of considering the possibility that the only thing standing in your way is you? I bet that you already know that. If that's the case, why not get out of your way and just do what you say you want to do?Yes, I know you may not know what to do?Yes, I know you may not know how to do it?Yes, I know you may wonder how your life will be?All of that is true. But you know that you want something different?Do you know what's not working?Do you know what you don't want in your life?That should be all the motivation you need to go for your dreams. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I can’t remember her name, but I can tell you she was not a happy person. It was a hot, hazy, and humid Virginia day when I arrived for a class reunion. As I stepped toward the check-in table, a friend of more than thirty years locked eyes with me, broke into tears, and screamed—“Oh Scott… can you help me? I’m not happy!” Next, she bolted out of her seat, ran around the table, and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me. This is not the first time this has happened, and being a professional, I knew what I was going to say, “Of course I’ll help, just let me get settled, and we’ll talk later”. Frankly, I was buying time to figure out why somebody I have never known not to be happy was not happy. What had changed?Nothing!My friend found herself a full-fledged member of The Always Club, as in “I always wanted to be thin and in shape… I always wanted to find my purpose in life… I always wanted to make more money… I always…I was a member of The Always Club myself, along with about a gazillion other folks collectively trying to figure out life’s secrets. Who knew it would take most of us thirty years of post-high school living to realize we’ve never done what we have always wanted to do? If that sounds familiar, it’s not your fault, and it’s more common than the common cold. But unlike the common cold, you can’t just sit around and wait seven days for it to go away, or you’ll remain a member of The Always Club for the rest of your life. So what did I say to my friend?“What you have always wanted is not something you have been denied. It hasn’t disappeared or passed you by, and somebody else didn’t take it. You have been happily living your life, and there is nothing wrong with that. Just remember, your “always wanted” is alive and well, living in your future, just waiting for you to go after it.”And she hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me.So what are you waiting for? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometime between Halloween and Thanksgiving, I found myself finishing leftover candy and bit into a Jolly Rancher - a recipe for disaster for anybody with a mouth full of dental work. As you might have predicted, it wasn't long before I was at the dentist. I don't like dentists much. Maybe it was because as a kid, our family dentist was Dr. PAIN… uh… Dr. Payne. Still, there I was with the sound of drilling and suction filling the room, along with the occasional mumbled answer coming from my mouth, answering important questions like, "What have you been up to lately?" Then tell me not to move my mouth.Seriously? Is that a skill they teach at dentist school? Wait until your patient can't speak and ask them a question? That's like me asking my young kids a question at the dinner table and telling them not to chew with their mouths open?But that's life. Sometimes life doesn't make sense, even though I would argue that things are good almost always, which is why we notice it when they are not. And boy does happen a lot this time of year. Then again, it happens a lot every time of the year. I'm writing today's note as most of us roll through the holiday season. I think it's good to keep two things in mind:Life is fully capable of getting in the way any time of the year, and it will. No matter how crazy, it should never be unexpected. By the way, that includes the self-inflicted part that is so common. I don’t want to hear any why me, why it, why now? As we say in the south, “It is what it is!”Besides, since life getting in the way stuff comes in all varieties, we don't have the right to enjoy the good stuff if we're always complaining about the bad stuff.Next, no matter how much life gets in your way during the holiday seasons, most of us seem to find a way to make it unique for ourselves and others. So, if you're going the extra mile to make magic, you don't get to enjoy the compliment and smiles on the faces of others if you complain about how hard you worked to make it happen.Of course, if you've made it this far into today's message, you might be saying, "Sure I can! I'm fully capable of complaining about my suffering as long as I'm happy in the end. Besides, that's who I am!”I only have one comment.Sure you are. But why not skip the grumpy part and enjoy the fun part?And you can do that all year long! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the past few years, there has been a trend in business toward an open, communicative, friendly, and supportive environment. While I believe that’s the way it should be, there has also been confusion amongst everybody in the company and customers.Who’s in charge? Who’s the leader? Where are we heading?Without a strong vision applied to the entire momentum of the company, there will be no momentum. And while ideas percolate from everybody involved, somebody needs to gather them into a vision that everybody can understand, believe in, and work toward every day.I spend much of my time consulting business owners who are running face-first into this issue, as well as employees who are experiencing it from the other side. Here’s where the first link in the chain breaks.Yes. Employees want to feel heard, valued, part of the team. And they love it when their bosses are part of their tribe and work to create an environment that makes them all feel respected and equal. But… the boss is still the boss.Speaking of the boss—Anybody who runs a company wants to be part of the company tribe, feel like one of the team, and get into the trenches to help everybody succeed. But… the boss is still the boss.This dynamic will always be present since there will always be a divide between the leader and those being led. The solution is to look at it differently by remembering—Everybody on your team is a member of the tribe, and everybody has a job. That includes the boss. But there is a difference. Yes, employees may love it when their leader is also one of them, but they also need that person to cast a vision, move the team forward, and help them achieve their dreams. In other words, when all are equal, yet everybody respects their different roles, your culture gets stronger, your momentum increases, and everybody gets more success. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the Universe whispering to you and nudging you to move in a specific direction? Before I go on, I need to admit that I am certainly not an expert in the Universe or it works in our life. The magic of gravity is enough to blow my mind, and the only Secret I know is that you are the only one in charge of getting what you want in your life.But what if you know that Universe is speaking to you? Calling you, compelling you to get off the sofa and do what you say you want to do? But you still won’t do it?Many years ago, I was in the habit of listening to those voices whispering inside my head and following whatever I thought it said for me to do. Eventually, after many false starts, I realized that the messages were not black or white. There didn’t seem to be any particular order, and they were almost always out of context with my life. In other words, blindly following my feelings often ended with me not getting what I wanted, and whatever I wanted to get away from became stronger in my life.One night at about 3 AM, a thought popped into my head—“Maybe I’m not supposed to do what I’m hearing? Maybe I’m stuck in my thinking, and the Universe is giving me more of what I’m focused on?You get what you focus on. That’s a basic rule of life. It just made sense to me that whatever I was focused on would linger in my brain until I questioned it from a different angle - whether I wanted to your not. That’s when I started flipping the script and created my 180 Degree Rule.Now, when a thought pops into my head and convinces me of the direction I’m supposed to run with all my enthusiasm, I pause and ask—“What if it really means I’m supposed to move away instead of forward?”With that new way of thinking, everything changed. It didn’t get easier and sometimes took time to choose a path. Still, questioning the context of the Universal wisdom as it applied to my current life and experience allowed me to avoid dead ends and frustration. And another thing happened…My life became more balanced and calm by going into “trust but verify” mode. Instead of chasing dreams of what might be a reality, I focused on adjusting my reality to be more like the vision I held in my heart.When the Universe speaks to you, it doesn’t always include context and directions. Take a minute to decide if you’re supposed to move toward or away, and clarity will emerge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I began training and competing with my dog in agility, I made a rookie dog trainer mistake. I wasn't consistent, and my dog was getting confused. One day, my trainer said, "For a dog, one time means all the time. Every time you let them do something new, they're just going to keep on doing it."Now, as silly as it sounds, that came to mind a couple of weeks ago when my wife, a creature of routine and habit, did the same thing.We were invited to attend Thanksgiving with family, and Joi's training kicked in instantly—"I like going to their home, but what about leftovers? I like leftovers?"Now, as a guy who has experienced Joi's "No eating out at the restaurant until all the leftovers are gone" rule, I knew this was a big issue. But, like a good husband, I got out of the way and let her figure it out.A couple of weeks later, after enjoying a nice day, I watched as Joi carried her share of leftovers to the car, thinking to myself, "Good. She got her leftovers." Boy, was I wrong—Joi came home from the gym the following day, headed for the kitchen, and started cooking - LEFTOVERS! She wasn't re-heating them. She had purchased a small turnkey and all the ingredients she needed to keep with her routine for the weekend. At that moment, I couldn't control the look on my face."What? I like leftovers, and I look forward to it. It's what I do, and it makes me happy."Like a good husband, I didn't say a word. My only thought was, I guess we're not having pizza tonight.Do leftovers make you happy? Not really. YOU make you happy. Do what you do. We can always have pizza next weekend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was on the phone with a client that was in a bit of a rut with her Real Estate business. It had been a good year, yet she found herself coasting and feeling like nobody wanted anything to do with her. “What should I do? I know I can do more? I don’t know what to do?”I think most people feel like that from time to time. When that happens to be me, I always remember two things:“What you practice in private you will be praised for in public.”“The fortune is in the follow-up.”While that sounds good, the reality is that you will be spending a lot of time alone with your thoughts and discipline, building your future while everybody else is living and having fun.And follow up? What do I say? Who am I going to call? What if they don’t want to hear from me?Word for word, that’s what my client said. My advice was simple:“You need to stay focused on how YOU do things so that you are prepared to show up and impress, and that’s the practice part.Next, you need to start “Making The Five.” “Making the five?”Yes. You need to connect with five people every day, no matter what gets in the way.“So you’re telling me I need to make sales calls?” she said.No. I’m telling you to make a relationship call. I’m telling you to reach out and check in with folks to be cool.I’m telling you to call your kids, clients, spouse, boss — anybody you can think of and see how they’re doing.“Oh. I can do that, and I like to do that. But what about making more sales?”Don’t worry about that. Just connect with five people every day. Do it as if there is nothing more important and nothing to gain.With that, she told me she trusted me and would start making her calls to reach the goal of three more home sales before the end of the year - only two months away.Today, as I write, I received this text message:“Hey Scott, good news.. that showing I had after our coaching call the other day… We are under contract and closing before the end of the year, and also it was a multiple offer bid that we won :-)”Wow! You are rolling, girl! Congrats! That’s 4? Right? Yes! Isn’t that amazing? I thought I had nothing going on, LOL!Yes. YOU are amazing, and YOU have it going on. All those other folks were waiting for you to show up, you did, and it’s working. Practice in private and make the five. I promise it will change your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you knew me as a child, one thing would be true; that I was 100% a non-adult and would maximize my time getting away with being cute and funny. That’s what kids do - and I love it.Children don’t generally ask for permission or forgiveness. That’s has nothing to do with what they want to do. It never enters their mind. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good or bad decision. Once a child decides on their path, nothing will stop them. Most times, exploring Life isn’t an issue. Unless it is dangerous when most parents say—“Oh, they’re kids. Let them have some fun…”“They have to learn somehow…”“They’ll grow out of it someday…”But sometimes, parents intervene, stop the madness, and crush another childhood dream. While the kids may not know it at the time, Life just got in the way — something worthy of a temper tantrum of epic proportion, and that leads to a realization.“Someday, when I grow up, I’m going to do what I want to do, and you won’t be able to stop me.”Fast forward a few years, and the day arrives that every child steps into the real world - only to find out Life has built a big wall in front of everything they ever wanted, and it seems to stop them at every turn. And forget that instead of letting you run free in the world, your parents passed their responsibility of getting in your face and denying your dreams to people who call themself Boss, CPA, Tax Man, Grumpy Old Guy… Shall I go on?Life. It can be a tricky thing that can shut down your dreams, make you turn on your autopilot, and lead you to count the days until you get to retire and have fun again.Or maybe…What if it was an imaginary wall? Nothing more than an illusion?What if all those people who are stopping you don’t care about you at all? Are they just on autopilot too?What if the reason Life gets in the way is to clear the road for folks like you to follow your dreams while the others are building fortifying the wall?Always remember, when Life gets in the way, YOU are the way.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My wife and I were looking for something on Netflix and found ourselves repeating the scroll a couple of times. Finally, the screen changed, and the graphic offered us a choice. It said, "just play something?"Yes, please. Just play something, so I can put the remote control down and get back to petting my dog. Thinking back on the moment, I was reminded of a book I read a long time ago.In 2005, Barry Schwartz wrote Paradox of Choice. It challenged the traditional thinking that said the way to maximum freedom is to maximize choice. It may feel good, but too many choices lead to decision fatigue.Yes, too many choices are not necessarily a good thing, and they can create paralysis. Not to mention, no matter what you choose, you'll always wonder if you could have done better.Here's my advice to you:1) Limit your choices. Having every option won't serve you. Narrow your list to things that truly get your attention. 2) If you find yourself confused, permit yourself to try other options.3) If in doubt, choose to spend your time and attention on what you know gives you the results you want. There will always be too many choices in our modern life, but that doesn't mean you need to accept what is offered. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff in their life that works and doesn’t work. They keep hanging life their life depends on it.Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here:1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do.2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday.Both can go on for years and lead to nothing but frustration as you continue to long for something else. I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life. After exploring it from every angle—Should I keep it?Should I put it to the side and come back to it?Should I toss it and start over?Should I… should I… should I.I finally said the only thing that came to mind -“The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me that you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want. Let me ask you a question—How would you feel if you just dropped everything that is holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?”She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said—“I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!”We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30 cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward.A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.”It’s simple. When you are making a life decision, if you stay, you can’t go, and if you go, you can’t stay. Make your choice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices