The Psychology of Relationships

What if it’s not too late for love and your timeline isn’t behind but rather right on time? In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with former CNN journalist, and newly engaged May Lee to flip the cultural myth that love has an expiration date. At 57, May got engaged for the first time, proving that societal timelines are often more limiting than reality. Drawing from her own journey and the psychology of chrono-normativity—the idea that society imposes “proper timelines” for adulthood milestones—May shows how letting go of the artificial countdown clock can open space for clarity, agency, and authentic connection.In this episode, you’ll learn:• Why “It’s Too Late for Love” Is a Cultural Myth• How Chrono-Normativity Shapes Pressure and Dating Decisions• How Letting Go of Timelines Boosts Confidence and Self-Worth• Why Future-Positive Thinking Increases Attraction and Relational Satisfaction• How Past Detours Can Create Conditions for the Right Relationship• How to Choose Partners Based on Fit, Not Deadlines• Why Age Doesn’t Limit Love—but Outdated Timelines DoTo learn more about May Lee: follow @mayleeshow and visit https://www.lotusmediahouse.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Money has a way of sneaking into every corner of a relationship—date nights, living arrangements, future plans, even how we argue or apologize. And yet, it’s one of the conversations couples avoid the most. In this episode, Julie and Yue chat with Netflix host, bestselling author, and creator of Money For Couples, Ramit Sethi, to unpack the psychology behind financial tension that inevitably creeps into relationships. Ramit explains why money arguments aren’t really about money—they’re about values, fears, power dynamics, and the stories we carry about security, freedom, and worth.In this episode, you’ll learn: • The Four Money Types and How They Influence Relationships • How Different Earning Styles and Financial Habits Shape Dynamics • Why Money Fights Are Often About Emotion, Not Numbers • How to Communicate About Money Without Triggering Conflict • How to Build a Shared Financial Vision That Supports Your Relationship • Why Understanding Each Other’s Money Psychology Creates Trust and Intimacy • How to Build a “Rich Life” Rooted in Choice, Alignment, and SafetyTo learn more about Ramit Sethi: follow @ramit and visit https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sex is never just physical. Our desire, frustrations, and turn-ons are shaped by how we think, how we feel, and how safe we feel—both with our partners and within ourselves. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with health educator, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. to explore the psychology and neuroscience of sex beyond surface-level conversations. Drawing from her groundbreaking work in Come As You Are, Come Together and Burnout, Emily breaks down why sexual desire isn’t one-size-fits-all and how stress, context, and emotional connection influence our sexual experiences far more than we’re taught to believe.In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Sexual Desire Looks Different for Everyone • The “Accelerators” and “Brakes” That Shape Arousal • How Stress, Body Image, and Emotional Safety Impact Sex • How to Navigate Mismatched Desire Without Shame or Blame • Why Desire Naturally Ebbs and Flows in Long-Term Relationships • How to Build Sexual Connection During Stressful or Transitional Seasons • Why Sexual Satisfaction Is About Safety and Understanding—Not PerformanceTo learn more about Emily Nagoski: follow @emilynagoski and visit https://www.emilynagoski.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Why are we drawn to certain people—and why do some connections deepen while others fade? In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with UC Davis professor and director of the Attraction and Relationships Research Lab, Dr. Paul Eastwick, to explore the science behind attraction and long-term compatibility. Drawing from decades of research, Paul Eastwick explains why our “ideal partner” checklist often doesn’t match who we actually connect with, how attraction can grow over time, and what psychological mechanisms—like attachment, motivated reasoning, and predictive modeling—shape the way we evaluate potential partners.In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Initial Attraction Isn’t Always a Perfect Predictor of Long-Term Compatibility • How Our Stated Preferences Differ from Who We Actually Connect With • How Repeated Interactions and Familiarity Deepen Attraction (Mere Exposure Effect) • How Attachment and Past Experiences Shape How We Form Romantic Bonds • How Predictive Models and Motivated Reasoning Influence Partner Selection • Why Emotional Intimacy and Shared Experiences Strengthen Connection Over Time • How Attraction Evolves—Sometimes in Surprising Ways—as Relationships DevelopTo learn more about Paul Eastwick: follow @pauleastwick and visithttps://pauleastwick.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if striving for fairness is actually driving disconnection in your relationship? We’ve been sold the idea of a 50/50 partnership—that equal contribution is the key to love—but real life, stress, parenting, and ambition often make that impossible. In this episode, Julie and Yue interview husband-and-wife team Nate and Kaley Klemp, authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship, to explore a new framework for connection. Drawing from mindfulness, leadership, and high-performance coaching, they share how radical generosity—giving 80% instead of keeping score—can build a stronger, more resilient partnership.In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why the 50/50 Mindset Can Erode Connection and Foster Resentment • How Radical Generosity Creates a Thriving Partnership • The Role of Equity Theory in Relationship Satisfaction • How to Navigate Key Transitions from Dating to Cohabitation and Parenthood • Why Shared Success Matters More Than Equal Input • How Couples Can Go “All-In” Together Without Burning Out • Practical Ways to Co-Create a Relationship That Grows Over TimeTo learn more about Nate and Kaley Klemp: follow @8080marriage and explore their work at https://8080marriage.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We talk a lot about love, commitment, and compatibility—but there’s one quieter factor that determines whether a relationship can truly thrive: emotional availability. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with Connor Beaton, founder of ManTalks and author of Men’s Work, to explore why some people can hold space for your emotions and connect deeply, while others seem emotionally out of reach—even when they’re right next to you. Drawing from attachment theory, emotional regulation, and decades of coaching experience, Connor explains how emotional safety is built, why vulnerability falters without it, and what it takes to cultivate real intimacy in modern relationships.In this episode, you’ll learn: • What Emotional Availability Really Is—and Why It Matters • How Attachment Patterns Shape Your Ability to Connect • Why Emotional Safety Is the Foundation for Vulnerability • How to Recognize When a Partner Is Emotionally Present—or Not • Practical Tools to Increase Your Own Emotional Availability • How Self-Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Support Deeper Relationships • Why Facing Your Shadow Can Transform How You Show Up for LoveTo learn more about Connor Beaton: follow @mantalks and visit https://connorbeaton.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Many of us hold onto the belief that “once I’m in a relationship… then I’ll finally be happy.” But while love can absolutely bring joy, it can’t replace the inner work of building our own happiness baseline. In this episode, Julie and Yue talk with celebrity happiness coach and positive psychology expert Rob Mack about why lasting happiness starts within—not after you meet the right person. Drawing on research like the Michigan State study showing marriage increases happiness by less than one percent, Rob explains why real love thrives when two people come together already full, grounded in their own worth —and how couples support each other, not complete each other.In this episode, you’ll learn:• Why Happiness Isn’t Delivered After Love—It Starts With You• How Hedonic Adaptation Lowers the High of Major Life Moments• How to Build a Sustainable Happiness Baseline Through Self-Worth• Why Some Relationships Drain You—and How to Walk Away With Clarity• How to Choose a Partner Who Supports Your Wellbeing (Without Relying on Them for It)• How to Create Interdependence—Not Dependence—in Your Relationship• Why Two People Who Are Already Full Build the Strongest, Healthiest LoveTo learn more about Rob Mack: follow @robmackofficial and visit https://www.coachrobmack.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s easy to feel steady in love—until you and your partner aren’t moving at the same pace. When one person is ready for the next step and the other isn’t, even the healthiest relationships can start to feel uncertain. Julie and Yue sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Alexandra Solomon to unpack what’s really happening beneath pace discrepancies. Drawing from her groundbreaking work on relational self-awareness, Dr. Solomon explains why mismatched timing activates attachment patterns, old schemas, and deep questions about worthiness—and how couples can navigate these moments without spiraling into fear, pressure, or ultimatums.In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Pace Discrepancies Trigger Attachment, Anxiety, and Self-Doubt • How Your Past Bonds Influence the Meaning You Make in These Moments • How to Communicate Needs and Hopes Without Issuing an Ultimatum • How to Tell the Difference Between a Temporary Pause and a Fundamental Misalignment • Why One Partner Often Moves Faster (or Slower) — and What That Reveals About Their Inner World • How to Stay Connected, Curious, and Compassionate Through Mismatched Timing • When to Keep Moving Forward Together — and When It Might Be Time to Walk AwayTo learn more about Dr. Solomon: follow @dr.alexandra.solomon, listen to Reimagining Love, and read her books Loving Bravely, Taking Sexy Back, and Love Every Day.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love grows when you do. We talk a lot about how to find love and how to keep it, but not nearly enough about how to grow inside it. Because real love isn’t just a feeling — it’s a skill. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with New York Times bestselling author Diego Perez (better known as Yung Pueblo) to explore how self-awareness, attachment, and emotional regulation shape the way we show up in relationships. Drawing from mindfulness and modern psychology, he breaks down how our pasts wire us, how our unhealed parts seek safety, and why growth — not perfection — is what truly strengthens intimacy.In this episode, you’ll learn: • How to Build Self-Awareness That Strengthens Your Relationship • Why Attachment and Nervous System Patterns Shape the Way You Love • How to Regulate Emotions During Triggering or Tense Moments • Ways to Separate Past Wounds From Present Dynamics • How to Make More Conscious, Intentional Choices in How You Love • Why Couples Grow Together Through Repair, Not Perfection • How to Practice Accountability That Deepens IntimacyTo learn more about Yung Pueblo: follow @yung_pueblo and visit: https://yungpueblo.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When love feels hard, it’s easy to forget why we chose it in the first place. But remembering why we love—and what drives our need for connection—is often what helps us stay grounded. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin to explore what biology, psychology, and evolution can teach us about the most deeply human experience we have. Drawing from two decades of research, Dr. Machin reveals how our earliest attachments, neurochemical patterns, and evolutionary instincts shape how we love, who we choose, and why connection is so essential to our wellbeing. In this episode, you’ll learn:How Evolution and Early Attachment Form Your Blueprint for LoveHow Brain Chemistry Drives Attraction, Bonding, and Long-Term ConnectionHow Different Forms of Love—Romantic, Familial, Queer, Platonic, Polyamorous—Function in the BrainWhy Love Can Feel Addictive—and the Psychology Behind Coercive or Unhealthy DynamicsHow to Make More Conscious, Intentional Choices in How You LoveWhy Love Is the Single Most Important Factor in Human Health and MeaningTo learn more about Dr Anna Machin: follow @dr_amachin and visit: https://annamachin.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy