Leading Saints Podcast

Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., Lt. Colonel (US Army Reserve, Retired), is a graduate of the U.S. Military Academy, West Point, and a Vietnam-era veteran. He holds graduate degrees from Brigham Young University and the University of Maryland, and has served on the stress management faculties at the Pentagon, the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, and the University of Maryland School of Public Health. He has trained mental health professionals and laypersons—including high-risk groups such as the military, police, and firefighters—on stress, trauma, and resilience. Glenn is the founder of Resilience Training International, which teaches how to prevent and recover from stress-related conditions such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety, while optimizing mental health and performance under pressure. An eternally-grateful convert of 47 years, Glenn serves in a young single adult branch presidency and, with his wife, leads the Addiction Recovery Program in his stake in Florida. Highlights 02:40 Kurt introduces Glenn and the topic of childhood trauma. 05:15 Glenn shares his background and conversion story. 08:25 Glenn explains what he does and what led him to write many books and create courses to help people with their mental health. 11:30 Childhood wounds and how they affect people who are religious versus non religious 13:50 The original ten adverse childhood experiences that cause wounds that people carry into adulthood 16:00 Unresolved pain leads people to drugs and pornography. Unresolved childhood wounds can manifest physically or spiritually. 18:50 How can a leader be a resource to those struggling with childhood wounds and lead them in the right direction to find healing? 20:30 How memories are imprinted on us 23:30 We need a deeper, more dynamic approach to healing childhood trauma. It’s important to find a therapist that is a trauma specialist. 27:00 Glenn explains Accelerated Resolution Therapy, known as ART. This is a fairly new form of therapy that is very effective for helping people with trauma. 34:30 Leaders can encourage people to write out their feelings. Expressive writing and journaling can benefit people trying to deal with old trauma that don’t want to talk about it. 40:00 God is the ultimate attachment figure and his love is the ultimate answer to shame. 45:00 According to research it’s a myth that religion adds to more shame. Religion can cause guilt. Religion is the answer to guilt. 48:50 Big T trauma and small t trauma 51:50 Do most issues come from childhood trauma? 54:45 Coping with trauma by perfectionism and overachieving. They try to overcompensate. 58:00 Latter-day Saint people tend to be overachievers. Most overachievers were adaptive and they like it. Others have fear-driven overachievement. 1:01:00 We don’t have to suffer for decades. A lot of times we just need to learn certain skills to overcome. Take the time to find the right therapist. 1:03:20 A good leader loves the people as Christ did. Links The Adverse Childhood Experiences Recovery Workbook Glenn R. Schiraldi books Accelerated Resolution Therapy Resilience Training International Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast Watch on YouTube Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library The Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints' mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org. Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, DeAnna Murphy, Michael Goodman, Richard Ostler, Ganel-Lyn Condie,

Sara Payne is currently serving as the stake Relief Society president in Billings, Montana, and previously served as a branch Relief Society president in rural Maine. She loves Relief Society and considers it one of her purposes to help women in the Church understand that they belong and are wanted and needed in this great organization. Sara is a relationship coach and spends her days helping women who are married to physicians to create thriving marriages. Dale Williams has served in elders quorum, as a bishop and bishop's counselor, and in a stake presidency. He is currently a stake president in Billings, Montana. Dale is a business owner and practices as a chiropractor. Highlights 02:30 Introduction to Stake President Dale Williams and Stake Relief Society President Sara Payne in Billings, Montana. 04:45 Sara’s past experience and getting called as stake Relief Society president. 06:20 Dale shares his experience extending callings. He called Sara because she is a person who thinks outside the box. 09:45 Sara talks about beginning her calling and the intimidation she felt. 11:20 Dale talks about coming together and gathering ideas and thoughts. This creates an atmosphere of openness. 14:50 Dale describes the culture of the meetings they have as stake leaders. Things that he has found that work and don’t work. 16:15 The stake president states his opinion last. He lets everyone else speak and share first. This is a way he can also gain revelation. 18:50 There is a difference between respecting our leaders and putting them on a pedestal, like they are all knowing. 20:00 Reaching for unity. Go into any interaction knowing that you are on the same team even though opinions might differ. 23:00 Dale shares an experience of not agreeing and changing things up in the stake. 27:15 Sometimes we have to let go of who can do it the most effectively. Let everyone serve in their own way. 29:00 Dale has one-on-one meetings every month with Sara. She leads the discussion normally and takes time to prepare for it. 31:30 At the beginning of any meeting or one-on-one they begin by talking about a concern they have or gospel principle and counsel together before getting to the agenda items. They unify their thinking and come together. 33:10 Sara was very intimidated in stake councils to share her opinions and speak up. She talks about the things that helped her feel safe and open up. 35:40 Dale and his counselors share what they are going through. They are vulnerable. He has found that it’s not normally in our strengths that we come together but in our weaknesses. 38:10 What it means to be heard. Being heard doesn’t mean getting your way. 40:30 It’s not about what the leader can do but what they can help others do. Links Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast Watch on YouTube Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library The Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints' mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org. Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, DeAnna Murphy, Michael Goodman, Richard Ostler, Ganel-Lyn Condie, and many more in over 500 episodes. Discover podcasts, articles, virtual conferences, and live events related to callings such as the bishopric, Relief Society, elders quorum, Primary, youth leadership, stake leadership, ward mission, ward council, young adults, ministering, and teaching.

Emily Robison Adams is married with three children and is a practicing appellate attorney. She received her undergraduate degree in linguistics from Brigham Young University and her JD from the University of Minnesota Law School. She worked for judges on the Minnesota Court of Appeals and the Federal District Court for the District of Minnesota before returning to Utah. She is a partner at The Appellate Group, a boutique law firm focusing on appeals. Emily has served in Relief Society and Young Women presidencies, taught Relief Society, and currently serves as the Primary chorister. Highlights 02:00 Kurt introduces Emily and her story. 04:00 Emily shares her background. 06:00 Emily’s faith crisis. She felt like she couldn’t get answers from God. 09:10 A crisis dismantles your framework and the story you’ve built your life on. 11:20 The shame that comes from feeling like you can’t connect with the divine. 15:25 How leaders can help with a faith crisis. 17:50 Emily shares that she dealt with bitterness and doubts and didn't know what to do with her doubts. 20:40 How leaders can use the tool of rethinking to help an individual struggling with their faith. 23:30 Emily shares how she was able to rethink. She did this by finding people that were feeling the same way. She found books from other religions and perspectives that really helped her. 28:45 There are moments where scripture study feels empty. Find new ways to connect with God. It could be a hike, a walk, ten minutes of quiet. 31:50 Leaders are there to mourn with those that mourn. Be careful about preaching to someone that is in the tender stage of their faith crisis. Try to gauge where the person is at and what they need at the moment. 35:00 Leaders should resist the urge to fix everyone’s problems. Listen to their story. Show empathy for their difficulty. 37:15 Spencer Fluhman talks about how you answer gospel questions by not answering gospel questions but by connecting to the person who is asking you the question. 38:15 How to spot if someone is having a faith crisis or mental health issue. 43:00 Emily talks about sending smoke signals to people when she started struggling with her faith. 45:15 Leaders need to create safety in their wards. Safety to share. “There is no such thing as resistance, only lack of safety.” 48:00 Where Emily is at now in her faith journey. 53:00 Emily talks about how she is grateful for the quietness. How her faith has grown. Links Divine Quietness: Finding Meaning When Heaven is Silent Faith After Doubt Stages of Faith The Dark Night of the Soul What Every Leader Needs to Know About Faith Crisis | An Interview with Scott Braithwaite “Answering Sincere Gospel Questions,” with Spencer Fluhman Read the TRANSCRIPT of this podcast Watch on YouTube Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library The Leading Saints Podcast has ranked in the top 20 Christianity podcasts in iTunes, gets over 500,000 listens each month, and has over 10 million total downloads as part of nonprofit Leading Saints' mission to help latter-day saints be better prepared to lead. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org. Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, J. Devn Cornish, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, DeAnna Murphy, Michael Goodman, Richard Ostler, Ganel-Lyn Condie, and many more in over 500 episodes. Discover podcasts, articles, virtual conferences, and live events related to callings such as the bishopric, Relief Society, elders quorum, Primary, youth leadership, stake leadership, ward mission, ward council, young adults, ministering, and teaching.

In this How I Lead podcast, Kurt speaks with Judy Clemens, who felt inspired to go to her stake president with some ideas, and was called to lead quarterly stake devotionals that have been very successful. Highlights 02:30 Introduction to Judy Clemans 04:30 Kurt reads his newsletter inspired by Judy. 06:30 Judy felt the call to serve but didn’t have an official calling. She stepped up anyway because she had lots of ideas. 07:50 If people could hear other people that are different from themselves, there could be so many opportunities to grow and expand. 09:00 Judy had so many ideas in her heart that could be helpful for the stake. She emailed her stake president and they had a meeting to discuss them. 12:40 After sharing her ideas with the stake president he took time to think about it and counsel with others and he ended up creating a special calling for Judy to implement her ideas. The calling is stake devotional coordinator. 14:30 Judy’s calling includes doing informal devotionals. A place to talk about difficult topics and hear from different people. 16:00 Judy’s purpose statement for the devotionals. These are the guidelines for every single devotional. Create connections to remember that we are not alone in our experiences. We are all God’s children. Seek understanding. Hear personal stories of those that have experiences different from our own. Provide learning. Take time to learn about other people’s experiences so you can show up, love, and support each other in meaningful ways. When we know better, we do better. Testify of Christ. Testify to the healing power of Jesus Christ and demonstrate how we allow our experiences to bring us closer to Him. 17:00 Judy gives more details about her calling and the devotionals. The goal was to be informal and casual dress. They had them on Friday night, once a quarter. 22:30 There are lots of people with big ideas in the Church that feel like they need to shrink down and feel shame for speaking up. 24:00 One of the most popular topics covered was understanding and loving our LGBTQ family and neighbors. Other topics were raising children with autism, struggling with scrupulosity, and navigating disappointment. 27:15 The devotionals are in person but there is also a recording that is public for anyone to watch on YouTube. 29:00 Doing these devotionals is about bringing the community together. They are culture changing and help us have empathy for one another. These sensitive topics are not normally brought up in a Sunday meeting and Judy wanted a place to speak about these things. 32:40 So far people have been blown away by the experiences they are having at the devotionals and being able to talk so openly and frankly about some sensitive topics in the gospel. 34:40 Judy has an advocate in each ward to help advertise the devotionals, get flyers out, and listen for topics of interest from the ward or find speakers. 35:30 Big ideas don’t have to be complicated. Judy has been able to keep her idea simple and straightforward. No refreshments and it’s only once a quarter. Very doable. 36:00 Judy has found a way to use her gifts and talents in a way that benefits and blesses others. Links Listen, Love, Learn - Brighton Stake YouTube channel TRANSCRIPT coming soon Watch on YouTube (coming soon) Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library

Jeff Nance is originally from Charleston, South Carolina, served in the Sydney Australia Mission, and graduated from Brigham Young University in Political Science as an ROTC scholarship student, and from BYU’s J. Reuben Clark Law School. He served in the 101st Airborne Division, then in many capacities in Okinawa, Japan, in the civilian personnel branch, and later in Bad Kreuznach, Germany and Vicenza, Italy. He served as the Chief, Military Justice and then Chief of Operational Law of V Corps and deployed to Iraq, where he oversaw the initial reconstitution of the Iraqi criminal courts system. Back in the United States, he served as USATDS Region II Regional Defense Counsel before being selected to serve as a Military Judge. Promoted to Colonel, he was transferred back to Germany and deployed several times to preside over scores of courts-martial in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Kuwait. He later served as Circuit Judge and then as Chief Circuit Judge in the 3rd Judicial Circuit and 2nd Judicial Circuit. In his 13+ years as a military judge, Colonel Nance presided over hundreds of courts-martial, including some of the Army's most complex and high-profile cases. After retiring from active duty in October 2018, he was sworn in as an Immigration Judge with the Department of Justice. Being in the Army for 30 years and living all over the world has given Jeff and his wife Jeneen many service opportunities. He is currently serving as a bishop in his eighth bishopric and has served as a nursery leader, youth Sunday School teacher, primary teacher, elders quorum president, high priest group leader, and stake high counselor. Jeff and Jeneen are the proud parents of three children and three grandchildren. Highlights 02:00 Kurt shares Jeff's background and how they met. 06:00 Jeff shares his schooling and career path to becoming a judge in the military. 21:10 The last case that Jeff worked on was the very high profile case, United States vs. Bergdahl. Jeff shares some of the background of the case. 31:20 After getting out of the military Jeff was called as bishop in Charleston. He describes his experience of getting called. 37:10 Advice to those that have to judge. Being a judge in Israel is helping people to repent. Where do justice and mercy come together? 40:30 How do you balance justice and mercy? It’s not just about paying the price for what they’ve done. It’s about being redeemed. You must judge each case differently. 46:20 The process of making decisions when judging. How do you know you are making the right decision? Jeff shares what he refers to as the "Parley principle." 52:50 Impossible calls to make. Jeff talks about having doubts about decisions that he made but how he finds peace with it also. 56:00 Reprove with sharpness only when the spirit indicates to do so. 1:01:45 The church system versus the legal system. Jesus always leaned towards mercy. 1:05:00 Our role 99% of the time is to help people apply the Atonement. Leaders need to discuss what things that person needs for repentance and in some cases what needs to be done to protect the name of the church. 1:07:50 Jeff’s experience in the church helped him more in his career than his career has helped him in the church. 1:09:30 Jeff shares his final thoughts and the biggest things that he has learned in his time in leadership. Links TRANSCRIPT coming soon Watch on YouTube Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library

This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in January 2018. Terryl L. Givens, PhD, did graduate work in Intellectual History at Cornell and studied Comparative Literature at UNC Chapel Hill. He taught courses in Romanticism, nineteenth century cultural studies, and the Bible and Literature and was the Jabez A. Bostwick Professor of English at the University of Richmond. Currently, he is a Neal L. Maxwell Senior Fellow at Brigham Young University. He has published in literary theory, British and European Romanticism, Mormon studies, and intellectual history. Terryl has authored or edited 20+ books, and some of his favorites include his collaborations with his wife, Fiona. Together they are the authors of The God Who Weeps, The Crucible of Doubt, The Christ Who Heals, and All Things New. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather, Terryl and his family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when Terryl was eight or nine. He served as a missionary in Brazil and has served as a bishop. Whether hosting insightful podcasts for Faith Matters or speaking to saints the world over at intimate firesides, Terryl’s mission is to help everyone–no matter where they are in their journey of faith–come closer to Jesus Christ. Highlights 4:30 Terryl’s background and work experience. 6:20 Religious background and faith development. 10:20 How Terryl met his wife, Fiona. The early years of marriage and having kids. 13:45 Terryl’s unlikely journey to becoming an author and his father’s collection of 19th-century anti-LDS literature. The impact of learning The Book of Mormon was the most widely-produced book, other than the Bible 16:50 Books are no longer the primary vehicle for disseminating information. Terryl’s podcast is about his desire to celebrate intellectual and theological richness of Mormonism. 19:20 There is not one typical Mormon testimony; finding one’s own path in coming to Christ. 20:30 Called as bishop in Richmond the week of 9/11. 21:30 Advice Terryl received when he got called as bishop. As a bishop, you occupy a position with enormous ability to make a difference in people’s lives. Be aware of the power of the mantle you wear. One small look or gesture can completely change someone’s Sabbath experience. 22:45 Terryl and his counselors focused on personal interaction as a bishopric. No one left the chapel without encountering the bishop or one of the counselors. They made visits to everyone in the ward in the first year. He made appointments with every single young person. 24:30 Dealing with faith and emotional crises.Terryl didn’t always know how to help people but the number one thing he learned to do as a bishop was to be empathetic. Stop trying to fix it. Just listen and validate them. 30:00 Helping people with difficult faith questions. Listen to the questions people have without interjecting yourself with your own faith position. Terryl shares personal experiences he has had helping people with faith crises. 35:15 As a leader, have the courage to refer someone to a person with more expertise. Be careful about trying to shut off sources of intellectual inquiry. 38:00 Many in the church criminalize doubt. Elder Hugh B. Brown says, “We all have to serve an apprenticeship in doubt on the way to discipleship.” Doubt is a phase on the way to finding something richer. However, people shouldn’t stay in that attitude of doubt. 39:35 Faithful trust instead of certain knowledge. Believe vs know. 44:15 Scriptural examples of individuals having faith without absolute knowledge. It’s ok to say I don’t know. 46:35 Asking genuine questions in adult Sunday school classes. The importance of truly-spiritual gospel doctrine class teachers. 50:30 Is there resistance to addressing questions head-on? In the long run, how will church members be fortified? Terryl shares his experience about being “shut down” in the U.K. when he was teaching.

Tyson Bradley is the future #1 New York Times bestselling author of the book Reclaim Your Inherent Identity: The 5 Steps To Bypass Your Brain and Create Lasting Change Instantly. He has studied mindset and behavior change over the past 10 years and has finally cracked the code on the fastest way to make habits happen. Tyson has a masters in Human Resources and an MBA. He is a certified life coach and specializes in time management, identity-based habit creation, and teaching people the skill of neuro-bypassing. Tyson has served as an elders quorum president, stake executive secretary, and currently serves as a ministering secretary. He is happily married and the proud father of two redheaded girls and one brown-headed boy. Highlights 02:00 Introduction to Tyson Bradley and his work as a neuro bypassing coach. 04:40 Tyson talks about what he sees most with the people that he coaches and what a lot of people are struggling with. 10:15 Tyson’s manuscript that he uses in coaching. It’s not for sale but part of a membership he has for those he coaches. 13:20 We need to start focusing more on identity. 14:40 Inherent Identity method. Also called the I AM ME method. They use Kurt’s calling as an example of how to apply this method. 15:00 I is for Ideal. What is the ideal version of this experience? It could be a goal or a church calling that you really want to improve on. 19:40 A is for Amplify. Take your ideal and amplify it. A lot of times we think small but this helps us to think big. 27:00 M is for movement. What is the next step I need to take? 33:45 M is for Manifesto. Take the action and create it into an identity statement. Identity statements always start with I am… An I am statement needs to be paired with doing something. 40:50 E is for Evoke. Evoke is like to remember. Remember our identity. 49:30 Tyson guides us through the I am me method. Ideal - What would you love to experience? What’s your ideal? Amplify - What would be the 10x or dramatized version of your ideal? Visualize it. Take time to be grateful for it. Movement - what is my next step? What is the one thing I need to do next? Manifesto - creating your action step and turning it into an identity. Evoke - Wake up in the morning and remind yourself of who you are and your true identity everyday. 53:30 Tyson encourages people to change the way they pray. One way that Tyson likes to change his prayers is by writing his prayers down. Kurt writes down 3 gratitudes and 3 glories to God that helps his prayers be more meaningful. 57:50 Tyson shares his testimony and final thoughts on leadership and Jesus Christ. Links InherentIdentity.com TRANSCRIPT coming soon Listen on YouTube Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library

Vivian Bishop-Cook lives in the Green Bay, Wisconsin area and works as a therapist. She has been a participant and leader at Young Women camps at least 15 times as an adult. Highlights 02:30 Introduction to Vivian and her background. 04:45 Vivian talks about what she is seeing in her therapist’s office. Most people are working on relationship issues, balancing their lives, and working on their self esteem. 07:15 Vivian’s girls camp experience growing up and also as a leader. As an adult she has been to girls camp 15-16 times. 11:50 Vivian focuses on 3 things for girls camp. She calls it the three ring circus. Faith Friendship Fun 14:50 One of the most important parts of camp is mentoring the YCLs and letting them lead. In Vivian’s stake they also call a YCL director. The YCLs are the heart of the camp. 20:40 How Vivian’s stake mentors the youth. Mentoring is the secret sauce. Youth do the devotionals. They pick the topic but Vivian mentors them on how to do the devotional and how to present the topic. 24:50 The number one request from the young women was to have a longer personal spiritual time during camp. 25:20 Vivian shares a story of one of her young women and her experience with personal spiritual time during camp. 26:40 Mentoring the youth to do devotionals is more than just mentoring. It’s an opportunity for the leaders and the youth to connect and get to know each other more. It’s a moment of one on one time to help them with their testimonies and struggles in their lives. 29:00 Part of having the YCLs doing the devotionals is to help them tap into their vulnerability and sharing a part of themselves. 29:45 In preparation for camp they teach the girls what a testimony is and what the components are. This helps the testimony meetings be focused on the gospel and so that the testimony meeting doesn’t turn into a group therapy session. 30:50 The ring of friendship is another important principle at camp. They created “campanions” so that everyone has a friend at camp. 35:00 Vivian’s stake has been working on including the YCLs more. They invite them to do the workshops with them. It’s not always easier to have the youth lead but it’s very important to their growth. 39:00 Vivian spent about 8 years outside the Church in her early 20s, where she explored other faiths. But everything led her back to the Church. 42:40 Final thoughts and testimony of leadership and growing closer to Christ. Links TRANSCRIPT coming soon Listen on YouTube Get 14-day access to the Core Leader Library

Sara Brewer is a certified life and faith-based coach, and a Latter-day Saint. She has helped hundreds of people quit porn through her coaching programs and helped thousands of people through her highly-rated podcast, Overcome Pornography for Good. In this podcast, Sara shares a presentation that is now part of the Liberating Saints Virtual Conference. Links Watch the video with 14-day access to the Core Leader Library, including the entire Liberating Saints Virtual Summit SaraBrewer.com is now The Center for Overcoming Pornography It Isn’t a Sin to Be Weak, by Wendy Ulrich Worthiness is not Flawlessness, by Brad Wilcox Helpful episodes from Sara’s podcast that focus on the stop, drop, and breathe technique: Episodes 66, 47, 21 Read the transcript of this presentation Highlights 02:50 Introduction to Sara Brewer, a life coach for people that struggle with pornography use. 05:15 Sara helps both men and women with pornography. 06:15 Sara introduces her presentation and the main root causes. 07:20 The first root of pornography use is ESCAPE AND BUFFERING. Buffering is an action to escape negative emotion. People try to put on a "bandaid" solution on porn. They don’t deal with their emotions. People need to learn to sit with their emotions and focus on healing wounds. 14:00 Shame only makes porn use worse. A lot of members get into a shame cycle with porn use and it never ends. 16:10 The difference between guilt and shame. Holding onto guilt turns into shame. 17:00 It’s not either shame or justification. There are middle ground emotions that are going to be more useful in helping people quit. 18:00 It’s important to differentiate physiology and morality. We all have urges and sexual desires. This is physiology and part of being human. Morality comes from what we do with our desires. 20:10 Application for leaders. Be careful with punishment and adding to shame. 21:10 Leaders need to stop focusing on behavior but underlying emotions. 22:00 Using a filter is a good tool to use but it’s not a long-term solution for porn use and addiction. 25:30 Guilt should not be a motivator. It’s more of a signal that something doesn’t align with our values. 26:40 Root two is OVER DESIRE. Over desire is something that is learned and can be unlearned. It’s your brain and reward system working correctly. Avoiding urges isn’t going to solve the porn problem. Pavlov’s dog theory and what it teaches us about learning and unlearning behaviors. 32:00 Willpower doesn’t work. It’s like holding a beach ball under water. It wants to pop up. Allow the urges and emotions to pass through without getting the reward. 35:20 Sara’s technique to help people overcome over desire for porn. Stop, drop, and breathe. 38:20 Applications for leaders Stop telling people they will struggle with this forever. Avoid all or nothing thinking. Slip ups don’t mean you have to start over. Stop demonizing sexuality. It’s very normal to want sex and to have urges. Avoid saying that more prayer, fasting, and righteousness will fix this. Instead, focus on healing. 40:10 Instead of distracting yourself, sit with the emotions. 44:40 Too often we hear a lot of all or nothing phrases in the bishop's office. If you can go x amount of days without porn then you can take the sacrament. 46:00 Root three is IDENTITY. 47:10 How we think about ourselves really matters. It gives us energy for our actions. 48:20 Not everyone that uses porn has an addiction. Most young men and women are not addicted. Be careful about labeling people with an addiction. It can be harmful to them. 50:00 Applications for leaders Avoid fostering an addiction mindset which is an I can’t change mindset. Avoid labeling people with an addiction. Avoid members feeling hopeless and stuck. Help members foster an identity of someone that quits porn.

Elder Lynn Grant Robbins was sustained as a General Authority Seventy in 1997. After serving for over 25 years, he was released and given emeritus status on October 2, 2022. Elder Robbins served as a member of the Presidency of the Seventy, as President of the North America Southwest Area, and supervised the North America Southeast and Southwest Areas. He has served as President of the South America South, Central America, and North America West Areas. He has also served in the North America Central Area. In his professional career, Elder Robbins was one of the founders of Franklin Quest. He concluded his career there when he was called to preside over the Uruguay Montevideo Mission. Born in Springville, Utah, he married Jan Nielson and they are the parents of seven children and 21 grandchildren. Highlights 02:10 Introduction to Lynn G Robbins; his background in the Church, education, and work 11:30 Lynn talks about his journey in church leadership. 17:40 The early years of leadership as a bishop and mission president 20:00 Transitioning to becoming a new mission president; telying on revelation instead of past experience 21:30 Every Christ-like attribute has a complementary attribute. We can make all the plans but those plans have to be balanced with following the Spirit. 23:00 Elder Robbins explains complementary principles. They complement one another. It’s not justice versus mercy. It’s justice and mercy. Religion and science