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Football Cliches

Latest episodes

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Apr 11, 2024 • 1h 3min

Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks

The pod welcomes commentator Jon Champion for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Jon's selections are Ally McCoist's sheer enthusiasm for football (and life), the romance of the underdog, overseas fans' fascination with English football, the temptation of recency bias, the grilled shrimp at Minnesota United and the overcomplication of football terminology.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel grill their guest on the art of teasing your co-commentator and enjoy his recorded audio for Pro Evolution Soccer 2013. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 8, 2024 • 38min

The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: James Ward-Prowse making the podcast eat its words, some subversive penalty commentary, some harsh words for a 50-yard clearance upfield, some rare footballers called Pete and people talking like Richard Keys in unexpected places.Meanwhile, the panel bemoan some hasty Panenka-declaring and decide the derby most likely to inspire the words "in these parts". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 3, 2024 • 46min

The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a much-needed abbreviation for the business end of the EFL campaign, some autopilot content with the Brazilian Ronaldo, an audiobook voiceover artist guessing the tune of a football chant, a unique goalscoring verb, Richard Keys on his own Wikipedia page and why there aren't any footballers called "Pete".Meanwhile, the panel decide if a corner can be described as "[Player X] territory" and whether it's possible to score from a tight angle on the halfway line. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 1, 2024 • 47min

The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jude Bellingham staying one step ahead of the England news cycle, a suitably literal analysis of the chant "Is this a library?", whether a very specific type of penalty decision is really in the spirit of the game, Gary Neville on Beyonce, Andy Gray's greatest hits, and Richard Keys’ career advice for Xabi Alonso.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many passes constitute a "string" and whether a player has ever scored a goal with the "middle" kick of the game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 28, 2024 • 1h 20min

The Football Cliches Quiz #11

The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again as the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of Scottish football experts The Terrace for a three-round Battle of Britain.The questions include international allegiance switchers, potentially Satanic backwards football audio, Anglo-Scottish exports, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, semi-forgotten Old Firm Englishmen and, of course, the Happy Hunting Grounds round. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 26, 2024 • 45min

The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime players & the tormentor-in-chief scale

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Being "among the goals" (and, even worse, "among the assists"), whether Endrick really did "light up Wembley", if friendlies count as the "Road to [Tournament Host Nation X]" and whether the word "goalposts" is set for footballing extinction.Meanwhile, the panel ponder which player has their "prime" cited the most before ranking and rating the terms used for an individual player being a constant threat to a specific team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 21, 2024 • 41min

Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off time angst, and long-range near post goal aesthetics

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' March entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the quiet honour of spotting how much added time there will be before the fourth official holds the board aloft, the curious lack of a genuine market leader for shin pads, the aesthetics of long-range efforts going in at the near post and the anxiety of trying to choose which game to follow during the overlapping Premier League games on Amazon Prime.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel wonder if you can use "leading the line" for a centre-back and enjoy an egregious example of footballspeak on American TV. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 19, 2024 • 51min

The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a dangerous position, and the Factory of Sadness

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jonathan Pearce's most Partridge moment to date, the parameters of a "pivotal" win, some inspired sleep-related footballspeak from Matty Cash, and the first ever recorded example of a commentator heralding an opener by saying "could it be one?". Meanwhile, the panel ponder what sort of chance would be described as a "good one by his standards" and we look forward to a clash for the ages as Richard Keys' Coventry City are drawn against Erik ten Toast's Manchester United. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 14, 2024 • 39min

The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan Curbishley's garden

Join Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as they discuss footballspeak in darts, Rio Ferdinand's locksmith tales, League One clubs' teenage tweets, football-inspired parenting, penalty positions, fired home goals, and Alan Curbishley's planning woe.
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Mar 12, 2024 • 48min

The Adjudication Panel: "Over to you [Title Rival X]" & Knuckleball on Corrie

Join David Walker and Nick Miller on an entertaining discussion about footballspeak, free-kick techniques, Premier League title races, crowd noises, and memorable moments. Dive into the world of football terminology, Sky Sports montages, and humorous football incidents, all packed in a lively podcast session.

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