The pod welcomes Jacob Hawley and Jake Farrell - aka The Screen Rot Podcast - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as they choose their six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among their selections are the criteria for being a "proper football club", judging anonymous 5-a-side teammates by the obscurity of the kit they’re wearing, referee bias when the ball is being kept in the corner and the modern scourge of cross-sport tribute celebrations.

Meanwhile, the epic search for the commentary sampled in the theme tune to Gazzetta Football Italia comes to a glorious conclusion.

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Proper clubs & "woke pressing" with the Screen Rot Podcast