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Football Cliches

Latest episodes

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Apr 2, 2025 • 1h 1min

Doing a job on Chris Wilder & goalkeepers just booting it upfield, with Bryan's Gunn

The pod welcomes the content-creating genius that is Bryan's Gunn - aka Will Powell - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Will's selections are foreign managers picking up English footballing jargon, Chris Wilder's go-to catchprase, the near-extinct art of goalkeepers just booting the ball upfield, and unnecessary modernisation of the FA Cup draw procedure.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel decide how many players constitutes a team "flooding forward" and enjoy some accidentally musical South American commentary.Support the Football vs Hunger campaign at​​ trussell.org.uk/trussellfcAdam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 31, 2025 • 44min

Free-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas Brothers

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: football pundits available on a free transfer, Big Dan Burn's week becomes a fortnight, a commentator superbly self-policing his woodwork judgment, some unexpected co-commentary during North Macedonia vs Wales, the Maldini/Baresi myth claims a high-profile victim, ex-Spurs defenders in Jonas Brothers singles and Chelsea suffer a textbook club-crisis moment.Meanwhile, the panel wonder if Erling Haaland has passed the "human after all" stage and discuss the unevolving art of pun-based FPL team names.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 27, 2025 • 57min

”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the curious tradition of a visiting team's pre-match stroll around the pitch, the reactions of fans behind a goal observed during an action replay, the moral seesaw of witnessing players drinking from opposition water bottles and the alarmingly low bar for things that make it into a centre-back’s pre-match TV analysis montage.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 25, 2025 • 50min

90/10 tackles, Danish player ratings & how to board a train like a 30-goal striker

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the ongoing inability of the USA to put together a decent football team, a possible new world record for away fans not realising their team have scored at the opposite end, the Danish media's absurd player-ratings systems and niche player-on-player social media spats.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a "90/10 tackle" might look like and enjoy a listener comparing his ability to board a Tube train to a striker gambling on a rebound.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 20, 2025 • 59min

Woke metrics, Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name & our niche England predictions

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name on Pointless, Wilfried Zaha confronts some modern footballing discourse head-on, Patrik Schick's uniquely selfish attacking statistics this season, a Europa League legend bows out, a pundit finally confronts the "players geeing up the crowd" epidemic, "the Lionel Messi of acting", soap-opera free transfers and a glorious Cliches tribute from an ice hockey commentator.Meanwhile, the panel make their niche predictions for the upcoming England games and discuss a listener approaching their pants collection like a careful squad rebuild.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 18, 2025 • 46min

The Carabao springboard, more musical commentary & the most Richard Keys-sounding tweet of all time

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the League Cup's modern status as a "springboard" for its winners, Gary Neville stealing Peter Drury's lines, Dan Burn and the "what a week he's having" threshold, the German concept of a "Sunday goal", some beautiful commentary vibrato, and Doncaster's manager on "swings and roundabouts".Meanwhile, the panel laud Thomas Tuchel's response to the now-traditional questions about singing the national anthem and hear news of a welcome development for generic match balls in the film industry.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 13, 2025 • 1h 7min

Knowing your way around the Champions League, German woodwork & England's future one-cap wonders

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the near-universal enjoyment of Liverpool vs PSG, second-tier German woodwork noises, some fascinating BBC archive content involving some disgruntled 1970s Match of the Day viewers, the most common object used to explain the offside law and much more.Meanwhile, the panel confidently predict some future England one-cap wonders, based on some historical criteria.Listen to, watch and follow The England PodApple/Spotify - https://podfollow.com/the-england-podYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@England_Pod Twitter - https://x.com/England_Pod Insta - https://www.instagram.com/england_podTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@england.podAdam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 11, 2025 • 1h

The whole 11.2 yards, DNA-level Lampardian Transitions - and Keys & Gray become one

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a very appropriate Glastonbury slot for one football-adjacent artist, Sky's obsession with Arsenal's 11.2-yard wall at a Manchester United free kick, LinkedIn's latest football breakthrough, a tremendous Footballers’ Names in Things from Down Under, some unacceptable self-co-commentary at 5-a-side and, finally, the answer to the question of what happens if you merge Richard Keys with Andy Gray.Meanwhile, the panel ponder the low-key football tradition of having initials printed on a tracksuit and the sweet spot for the career of a player who fathers an even more successful footballing son.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 6, 2025 • 1h 24min

The Pure Discourse XI

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to pick a lineup of players who have provoked the most endless wider debate about their on-pitch roles.The selection process takes in the precise moment a certain type of goalkeeper became brutally obsolete, a stand-out choice at right-back, inverted left-backs, overadventurous centre-backs, England’s infamous "perennial left-sided problem", culture-war-starting midfielders and strikers who don't actually score. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy an unlikely Millwall influence on Korean hip-hop.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 4, 2025 • 46min

How to time a red card, penalty run-ups & commentator Robyn Cowen voice-controls a stadium

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some entry-level superlatives for Lionel Messi, Jean-Philippe Mateta and the "if you did that to someone on the street" test, some hugely undignified refereeing body language on the way for 2025/26, some technical issues with declaring "the fastest red card ever", a commentator in perfect sync with a stadium PA system and Eddie Howe describes the haka in the most Eddie Howe way possible.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what makes a win a brushing or a sweeping and wonder which footballer we could most easily rumble if they turned up to a local 5-a-side in disguise.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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