

Football Cliches
Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger
Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
Episodes
Mentioned books

Nov 6, 2025 • 1h 21min
Vittorio Angelone on orchestral anthems, Lev Yashin's cap, and badge-avoiding classy touches
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The pod welcomes comedian Vittorio Angelone for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Vittorio's selections are a passionate defence of classical music's influence on football, a brief history of goalkeepers in caps, the sort-of rise and fall of front-flip throw-ins, vanishingly small modern shinpads and players who performatively avoid walking on club badges in the tunnel.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some slightly unnecessary match-report ridicule for Everton's misfiring Thierno Barry and an unprecedented VAR-fuelled crowd noise at Anfield.
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Nov 4, 2025 • 54min
”Cool as custard”, Reo-Coker's hanky-panky & football's reigning Great Entertainers
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the story behind an FA Cup penalty shootout commentary curiosity, a familiar sound effect in a Roman history documentary, the least cool item of clothing ever worn by a top-flight manager, someone selling match-worn Premier League referees' shirts on Vinted and Keys & Gray switch their international allegiance once and for all.
Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Dave's deep dive on the history of the lineal Great Entertainers title in English football and ponder if a Premier League season could ever be completed without a single managerial sacking.
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Oct 30, 2025 • 1h 8min
Rob Morgan on FA Cup engraving, football rhyming slang & overrated wondergoals
The pod welcomes comedy creator Rob Morgan for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Rob's selections are the minor obsession with FA Cup trophy engravers, football-inspired rhyming slang, massively overrated halfway-line goals and the ultra-modern habit of defenders celebrating their tackles.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy an unusual scenario for a new Celtic manager and the most football-sounding World Series baseball noise ever recorded.
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Oct 28, 2025 • 53min
Five football clubs in 10 seconds, Ekitike's non-haunting & prime minister Martin Keown
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: some very niche feedback on Peter Drury's commentary, a never-before-attempted example of “X of Sport Y" hyperbole, Jonathan Pearce embraces some Champions League pronunciation, Hugo Ekitike and "football's worst hauntings", one of the swiftest commentators curses of all time, a PE teacher sacked for lying about their football career and a comprehensive first-hand list of Richard Keys’s mates.
Meanwhile, the panel decide what constitutes "the cavalry" in football and tackle a tantalising question about the resale value of a footballer's match-worn football boots.
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Oct 23, 2025 • 50min
Scottish League Two scores, leaked fines lists & the sixth penalty taker: The listeners' loves & hates
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the egalitarian approach of football results shows, the psychological impact of the height of the main camera angle, that moment of uncertainty as a referee indicates a goal kick and not a penalty and one of the most nuanced observations on the language of football the pod has ever faced.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy an inevitable Sean Dyche moment and some curious Champions League commentary.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
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Oct 21, 2025 • 41min
Live show legends, Liverpool's 18ft 10in strike force & a new Neville noise
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Gary Neville finds a new frequency of noise at Anfield, whether Evangelos Marinakis is too "chaos Serie A" for Our League, Soccer Saturday somehow invents a new scoreline format after 33 years, Liverpool having too many rangy forwards and the earliest you can "not want this first half to end".
Meanwhile, the panel build up for the business end of the Clichés Live tour and wonder if a Saturday 3pm kick-off could ever be the best Premier League game of the season.
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Oct 15, 2025 • 56min
The Cape Verdean Dan Burn, Keysey the actor & the Communication XI
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Nick's first-hand account of Cape Verde's World Cup qualification glory, an important question about pitch-invading animals, Thomas Tuchel defies the manufactured outrage once again, the most “in the departure lounge” England player, football clichés as film titles and a long-overdue assessment of Richard Keys’ acting abilities.
Meanwhile, the panel put together a barking, haranguing and roaring Communication XI.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
The Football Clichés Live tour continues - get your tickets here: https://tickets.footballcliches.com
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Oct 13, 2025 • 41min
Own-goal flavours, casual retirements & football clubs as sperm counts
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Lee Dixon invents some new "goalkeeper's not saving that" hyperbole, Sean Dyche's potential new job, the difference between "comedy" and "bizarre" own goals, poor cricket knowledge in Stephen King novels, the Daily Mail's "Champagne Socialists XI", footballers who forget to officially retire, tenuous footballspeak in microwave adverts and Duncan Ferguson's insight into the obsessive mind of a goalscorer.
Meanwhile, the panel reflect on the live tour so far, including a glorious sold-out night at the Hackney Empire.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
The Football Clichés Live tour continues - get your tickets here: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oct 9, 2025 • 39min
England's 25th-choice right-back & the definitive Movement XI
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: early feedback from the Clichés Live tour, the latest clumsy football/politics crossover, a niche selection headache for Thomas Tuchel, former Premier League managers in University Challenge answers and Lampardian transitions from 94-year-old grandfathers.
Meanwhile, the panel backpedal, waltz and dart their way through the definitive Movement XI.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
The Football Clichés Live tour has begun - get your tickets here: https://tickets.footballcliches.com
Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oct 7, 2025 • 46min
Blown-open title races, punditspeak on the terraces & Woltemade's weird penalty
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether the Premier League title race can be "blown open" after seven games, some tantalising punditspeak in the stands at Old Trafford, Martin Keown mixes up his sporting terminology, Nick Woltemade’s never-before-seen penalty, experimental football chat on the Rest is History, Ange Postecoglou starts a media war he simply won't win and some gloriously pointless stats.
Meanwhile, the panel fact-checks Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's football-themed Strictly chat and decides the point at which a player becomes a "former international".
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
The Football Clichés Live tour has begun - get your tickets here: https://tickets.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


