
Football Cliches
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker explore the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
Latest episodes

Apr 16, 2025 • 1h 24min
The Premier League Unfinished Business XI
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller to pick a lineup of players destined to be subject to the gravitational pull of the Premier League to give it (at least) one more crack in the next few years.The selection process involves some written-off goalkeepers, defenders who will come crawling back from Saudi Arabia, veteran midfielders doing one more season at their hometown club after winning the World Cup for England, Harry Kane’s carefully-planned final assault on Alan Shearer’s goalscoring record, and getting one step ahead of the Darwin Nunez redemption story.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoys some fifth-division Sunday League pyro, Premier League club names in theme park YouTubers, a novel TV approach to denoting home and away fixtures and yet more accidentally musical commentary from Conor McNamara.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Apr 15, 2025 • 56min
Prince William's punditry, TNT's "hipster gunk" and a gift from the Keys & Gray gods
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Prince William's absurdly highly-acclaimed "punditry", the Premier League club that would produce the most uneventful in-house documentary, the criteria for a team to "roar back" from a losing position, the self-proclaimed inventor of the "pre-assist" and the Cliches pod makes its TikTok debut.Meanwhile, the panel decide if a team can "return to the scene" of a momentous win at their home ground and enjoy the highlights of some gold-standard Keys & Gray output from the weekend.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Apr 9, 2025 • 43min
Ribblesdale Rovers vs The Rules, Chris Sutton vs football jargon & the exact definition of a "hoick”
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: A scandalous Sunday League saga, obscure staff members on Transfermarkt, Chris Sutton manufacturing his disapproval for modern footballing jargon, some joyful commentary that only a Niclas Fullkrug header could inspire and improvised electroacoustic albums inspired by injury-plagued former Premier League defenders.Meanwhile, the panel establish the exact practical definition of the verb “to hoick” and decide if a northern-hemisphere domestic league can be allowed to have "apertura" and "clausura" stages.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Apr 7, 2025 • 47min
The ultimate managerial indignity & everything ITV crime dramas get wrong about football
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Kevin De Bruyne greatness fatigue, the concept of "pulling rank" at a set piece, a new low for clickbait football headlines, the indignity of a manager being sacked before they can go down with the ship, several huge problems with the football realism in an ITV detective series and Keys & Gray corner roars back into form.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Apr 2, 2025 • 1h 1min
Doing a job on Chris Wilder & goalkeepers just booting it upfield, with Bryan's Gunn
The pod welcomes the content-creating genius that is Bryan's Gunn - aka Will Powell - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Will's selections are foreign managers picking up English footballing jargon, Chris Wilder's go-to catchprase, the near-extinct art of goalkeepers just booting the ball upfield, and unnecessary modernisation of the FA Cup draw procedure.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel decide how many players constitutes a team "flooding forward" and enjoy some accidentally musical South American commentary.Support the Football vs Hunger campaign at trussell.org.uk/trussellfcAdam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mar 31, 2025 • 44min
Free-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas Brothers
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: football pundits available on a free transfer, Big Dan Burn's week becomes a fortnight, a commentator superbly self-policing his woodwork judgment, some unexpected co-commentary during North Macedonia vs Wales, the Maldini/Baresi myth claims a high-profile victim, ex-Spurs defenders in Jonas Brothers singles and Chelsea suffer a textbook club-crisis moment.Meanwhile, the panel wonder if Erling Haaland has passed the "human after all" stage and discuss the unevolving art of pun-based FPL team names.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mar 27, 2025 • 57min
”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hates
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the curious tradition of a visiting team's pre-match stroll around the pitch, the reactions of fans behind a goal observed during an action replay, the moral seesaw of witnessing players drinking from opposition water bottles and the alarmingly low bar for things that make it into a centre-back’s pre-match TV analysis montage.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mar 25, 2025 • 50min
90/10 tackles, Danish player ratings & how to board a train like a 30-goal striker
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the ongoing inability of the USA to put together a decent football team, a possible new world record for away fans not realising their team have scored at the opposite end, the Danish media's absurd player-ratings systems and niche player-on-player social media spats.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a "90/10 tackle" might look like and enjoy a listener comparing his ability to board a Tube train to a striker gambling on a rebound.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mar 20, 2025 • 59min
Woke metrics, Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name & our niche England predictions
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name on Pointless, Wilfried Zaha confronts some modern footballing discourse head-on, Patrik Schick's uniquely selfish attacking statistics this season, a Europa League legend bows out, a pundit finally confronts the "players geeing up the crowd" epidemic, "the Lionel Messi of acting", soap-opera free transfers and a glorious Cliches tribute from an ice hockey commentator.Meanwhile, the panel make their niche predictions for the upcoming England games and discuss a listener approaching their pants collection like a careful squad rebuild.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mar 18, 2025 • 46min
The Carabao springboard, more musical commentary & the most Richard Keys-sounding tweet of all time
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the League Cup's modern status as a "springboard" for its winners, Gary Neville stealing Peter Drury's lines, Dan Burn and the "what a week he's having" threshold, the German concept of a "Sunday goal", some beautiful commentary vibrato, and Doncaster's manager on "swings and roundabouts".Meanwhile, the panel laud Thomas Tuchel's response to the now-traditional questions about singing the national anthem and hear news of a welcome development for generic match balls in the film industry.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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