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Upbuilding The Self

Latest episodes

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Feb 2, 2022 • 36min

Creating Space Between Stimulus and Response

Do you react to things other people say or do in a way you wish you could do over, even when you feel righteous in your response? What if you could control your reactions a bit more and choose your responses more intentionally? In this episode, Hari interviews Vipin about his article, "How to Create Space Between Stimulus And Response." They discuss an example from Vipin’s life when a part of him was carrying anger towards his son, how his beliefs about his son and himself led to the reaction, and the difference between the beliefs of the ego versus the beliefs of the self. They conclude by sharing the framework of the Emotional Traffic Light and how we can use it to help us achieve true freedom. Links:Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts October 19th)Enneagram Workshop (October 4-5, 2025) Upbuild Website Instagram: @upbuildnycFacebook: UpbuildLinkedIn: Upbuild
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Jan 19, 2022 • 55min

From Investment Banker to Monk: Finding Your Calling

Why would anyone give up a life of wealth on Wall Street to become a monk? And why would anyone who would eventually become a monk be motivated to work on Wall Street in the first place? In this episode, Vipin interviews Rasanath about his journey from investment banker to monk and the key steps along the way that led to such a significant change in life and career. They examine the root cause of an existential crisis, the challenges inside and outside the monastery walls that he faced as he made the decision, and what it really means to have freedom. Rasanath closes the episode by offering a specific way to take the next step in finding your calling. Links:Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts October 19th)Enneagram Workshop (October 4-5, 2025) Upbuild Website Instagram: @upbuildnycFacebook: UpbuildLinkedIn: Upbuild
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Jan 5, 2022 • 34min

The Agitation We Feel from Social Media (Our Unilateral Contracts)

Do you find yourself getting agitated when someone posts flattering things about themselves on social media? Do you think (or talk) badly about the other person, feel badly about yourself, or find yourself not wanting to reach out to connect with that other person? In this episode, Hari interviews Michael about his article, "Our Unilateral Contracts." Michael introduces us to a framework that gives insight into how we hold people accountable to agreements that they never actually agreed to. When these unilateral contracts are broken, we experience a feeling of betrayal and punish others and/or ourselves. He shares a number of examples from his own life, including one he has with his wife about doing the dishes and another with the TSA about getting searched at airport security. Hari and Michael examine how we can use this framework to have better relationships, become less reactive, and ultimately act from the deepest part of who we are, rather than from the ego. Links:Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts October 19th)Enneagram Workshop (October 4-5, 2025) Upbuild Website Instagram: @upbuildnycFacebook: UpbuildLinkedIn: Upbuild
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8 snips
Dec 15, 2021 • 32min

The Masks We Wear

The podcast delves into the concept of masks we wear to prove our worth, hindering genuine connection. The speakers share personal experiences and revelations about removing these masks. They discuss the fragility of these masks and the importance of acknowledging it. The episode concludes with the liberating feeling of authenticity and gratitude towards the guest.
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10 snips
Dec 1, 2021 • 34min

Productivity as a Coping Mechanism for Shame

Shame as a difficult emotion, the role of shame in personal growth, importance of emotional strength and reconnecting with the heart, fostering authenticity and empathy, and understanding and facing emotional shame.
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Nov 17, 2021 • 28min

The Antidote to Envy

Who do you envy? And how does it serve you? Envy is a universal emotion. It can lead us to feel ashamed, disconnected from others and ourselves, and sometimes even to wish ill for others. However, for many of us, it’s not clear we would want to rid ourselves of envy because we fear we might lose our “drive.” Rasanath, Michael, and Vipin examine the root causes of envy and debate the question: When we lose our envy, do we lose our drive? They reveal three antidotes to envy, what role the ego plays, and what’s at stake if we don’t create a healthier relationship with our envy.Links:Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts October 19th)Enneagram Workshop (October 4-5, 2025) Upbuild Website Instagram: @upbuildnycFacebook: UpbuildLinkedIn: Upbuild
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6 snips
Nov 3, 2021 • 47min

Imposter Syndrome

The Upbuild team dives into imposter syndrome, discussing its complexities and drivers. They explore the impact of the ego, the unhealthy and healthy aspects of imposter syndrome, and the importance of humility. The speakers also discuss the power of positive feedback, the challenges of vulnerability for leaders, and the connection between imposter syndrome and receiving feedback. They emphasize the need for introspection, accountability, and serving the organization's cause.
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Oct 20, 2021 • 26min

The Seduction of Anger

Anger is like a temptress, seducing us with promises of control and justice. And yet, for the vast majority of us, how we deal with our anger almost always leaves us further from our goals and creates collateral damage in the process. In this episode, Michael and Rasanath discuss the complexities of anger and how to channel it in a healthy way. They unpack why anger is often the default response of our egos, how anger is a symptom of an unmet need that we expect to be fulfilled, the self-righteousness that can be attached to anger, the shame we may feel when someone breaks our trust, and how we can productively experience our anger while still holding people accountable.Links:Upbuild Coaching Training (six-month program, starts October 19th)Enneagram Workshop (October 4-5, 2025) Upbuild Website Instagram: @upbuildnycFacebook: UpbuildLinkedIn: Upbuild
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4 snips
Oct 20, 2021 • 38min

Detangling Self-Worth from Achievement

The podcast discusses the strong influence of successes and failures on self-worth, the difference between ego and true self, limitations of chasing self-worth for motivation, detangling self-worth from achievements, and the importance of balancing ego fulfillment with long-term growth.
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6 snips
Oct 20, 2021 • 39min

If You Think You're Self-Aware, You're Not

Exploring the paradox of self-awareness, the podcast delves into ego hindrances, shame, and the importance of feedback. It discusses the complexities of self-awareness for leaders, the journey to genuine personal growth, and embracing discovery for self-improvement. The dialogue highlights the link between self-awareness and shame, urging listeners to confront uncomfortable emotions for authentic growth.

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