Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

About Dr. Laura Dabney: Dr. Laura Dabney has been a psychiatrist in Virginia Beach, VA for almost twenty years and has treated patients in more than a dozen cities across Virginia. Her psychiatric expertise has been featured on radio, podcasts, websites and in print media. She received her MD from Eastern Virginia Medical School and has been Board Certified in Psychiatry. She has made a career of taking on psychiatry's toughest challenges all while ensuring the absolute privacy of powerful, high-profile patients. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Laura Dabney and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How difficult it can be to identify our emotions. How we make our emotions the enemy. The three top emotions that we have trouble with. How to change a destructive relationship pattern. A template for expressing our emotions. How to not accept any inappropriate behavior from your partner. How to encourage change in your partner. How to repair grief from past injury. "If you change the pattern, the pattern has changed. You don't need two people in the room to change the pattern." — Dr. Laura Dabney Mentioned: Instagram: @lauradabneycom Facebook: Laura F. Dabney, MD Website: DrLDabney.com & LauraDabney.com Phone: 757-695-3925 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About David Wood: After life as a consulting actuary to Fortune 100 Companies, David built the one of the world's largest coaching businesses, becoming #1 on Google for "life coaching." David Wood believes the tough conversations we avoid are our doorways to confidence, success, and even love – in both work and life. David coaches high performing entrepreneurs, executives and teams - even prison inmates - to amazing results AND connection. One conversation at a time. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, David Wood and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: What is considered a Tough Conversation. The benefits of having Tough Conversations and the dangers of sweeping them under the rug. Why David is so passionate about the practice of having Tough Conversations How people typically deal with having Tough Conversations. Examples of Tough Conversations that people tend to avoid in relationships. The Four Steps for having a Tough Conversation. "The real benefit [of having a tough conversation] is how good it feels, and how much I like myself more by speaking up and being expressed." — David Wood Mentioned: Website: PlayForReal.Life Show: Tough Conversations Podcast with David Wood YouTube: Tough Conversations with David Wood Four Step Blueprint for Tough Conversations Book Reference: Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships by Greg Baer Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Dr. Marcus Warner: A conference speaker and author who has spent over thirty years helping people and organizations navigate some of life's toughest challenges. As the president of Deeper Walk International he has helped develop dozens of resources that deal with recovery, leadership, and family life. About Chris M. Coursey: The president of THRIVEtoday, a non-profit focusing on training leaders and communities in the nineteen skills that make relationships work. Chris is an ordained minister, pastoral counselor, published author, curriculum designer and international speaker. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Marcus Warner, Chris Coursey, and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: We live in a low -joy culture, and a lot of people come from low-joy families. That effects so many things in life. Joy is accessible. Your brain is wired for joy. Joy is contagious – we don't dismiss the negative aspects, but we can amplify the positive and the joy in every day. Navigating the Joy Gap with PLAN – Play together, Listening for Emotion, Appreciating Daily, Nurture a Rhythm). Ways to build play in your relationship. The practice of appreciation is the fastest way to grow your joy center, and to bond with another. "If you can affect the home, and affect what's going on the marriage, then you're going to be able to have a greater impact overall." — Dr. Marcus Warner Mentioned: Facebook: Deeper Walk International & THRIVEtoday Website: HappyHappyMarriage.org & DeeperWalkInternational.org & ThriveToday.org Book: The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Rabbi Manis Friedman: World-renowned author, counselor, lecturer and philosopher, Rabbi Manis Friedman uses ancient wisdom and modern wit as he captivates audiences around the country and the world. Rabbi Friedman started an organization called "It's Good to Know" which reaches thousands of people every month through his online classes and events. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Rabbi Manis Friedman and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Functional marriages versus intimate marriages. Love doesn't bond you, it separates you, because love is a personal experience. The difference between sex and intimacy. The harm of pornography and its pervasiveness in society. The essence of marriage is giving and receiving. Addressing tension points to build intimacy and trust. Only getting married if you believe in marriage and are in it forever. What home should feel like, regardless of moods. "The thing that is ruining marriages today is love – love has become toxic, and love cannot hold a relationship together, it wasn't meant to. Being in love does not mean you're in a good relationship, it means you found some pleasure in your life." — Rabbi Manis Friedman Mentioned: Twitter: @ManisFriedman Facebook: Rabbi Manis Friedman Website: ItsGoodToKnow.org Instagram: @rabbimanisfriedman Books: The Joy of Intimacy: A Soulful Guide to Love, Sexuality, & Marriage & Doesn't Anyone Blush Anymore? Show: Ideas that Change the World… YouTube: Rabbi Manis Friedman LinkedIn: Manis Friedman Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Robert Kandell: Robert Kandell is an interpersonal communication expert, speaker, podcaster and the author of the bestselling book, unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them. Since 2002, Robert's mission has been to help people find themselves and use their internal power to live their best lives. He is the host of the podcast, Tuff Love, where he puts his compassionate, hard-hitting insight to work helping people move forward in their lives with clarity. In this episode, Robert Kandell and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The journey of becoming "unhidden" and living with more purpose and authenticity. People are moved by inspiration or by desperation The markers of living a "hidden" life. How to engage and step into more of your potential. Why this is the best time to be a man How "being a man" has changed in recent decades, and how it has stayed the same A framework for creating change in your life "There's so much potential to be the best party in town, so if men will get off the couches, let go of Netflix, stop watching porn, it could be the best time to be a man." — Robert Kandell Mentioned: Twitter: @Robertkandell Facebook: Tuff Love with Robert Kandell & Robert Kandell Website: RobertKandell.com Book: unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them Show: Tuff Love YouTube: The unHidden Path with Robert Kandell LinkedIn: Robert Kandell Instagram: @robert.kandell Pinterest: Kandell Consulting Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Dr. Lonnie Barbach: Dr. Lonnie Barbach, a clinical-social psychologist, was co-director of clinical training at UCSF medical centers sexuality program and is currently in private practice. She has received numerous awards for her work on sexuality and has written a dozen books on relationships, sexuality and menopause. Her best-known books include: For Yourself, The Erotic Edge, The Pause and Going the Distance, co-authored with her partner, David Geisinger, Ph.D. She is also cofounder of Happy Couple a relationship game app designed to enhance a couple's communication and satisfaction. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Lonnie Barbach and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Dr. Barbach's work in enabling couples to create a safe and intimate relationship without a mediator. Being able to talk about your feelings, not just your thoughts. Withholding feelings and power imbalances. The unique sexual being that is each individual person. Prioritizing the bond and relationship. The evolution of sexuality and relationships and life. Creativity and unique expression in sexuality and relationships. "Safety has a lot to do with feeling sexual." — Dr. Lonnie Barbach Mentioned: Website: LonnieBarbach.com App: HappyCouple.co Books: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy The Pause: Positive Approaches to Perimenopause and Menopause Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, Dr. Dain Heer and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: What a gentleman is and what it means to be a holistic you. Masculinity and how it appears in relationships. The masculine and feminine traits that we all possess and embracing them in our lives. How to look at the judgments, rules, and expectations we live by and work with them, so that you can connect with what is truly you. Getting present with the secrets within yourself – "today's secret is tomorrow's lie." The five elements to intimacy. Living your life without judgment and with gratitude, honoring, joy, and allowance. "When you first get together, you will see them not through the eyes of judgment, but through the eyes of possibility." — Dr. Dain Heer (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) About Dr. Dain Heer: Dain Heer is a popular speaker, author and inviter to greatness and consciousness. Originally raised in the ghettos of Los Angeles and trained as a chiropractor, Dr Heer is also the co-founder of a diverse range of businesses around the world. A conscious and creative thought leader with a profound understanding of the power of personal creation, Dr. Heer draws upon his background and unique perspective to facilitate positive change in the world, and empower people from every culture, country, age and social strata to create the money, relationships and life they truly desire. Mentioned: Twitter: @dr_dainheer Facebook: Dr. Dain Heer Website: ReturnoftheGentleman.com & DrDainHeer.com & AccessConsciousness.com Book: Return of the Gentleman YouTube: Dain Heer LinkedIn: Dr. Dain Heer Instagram: @dainheer Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Several listeners have posed the question "How do I get my partner to go to therapy?" Or "How do I get my partner to go to therapy with me?" Today, I am going to give you some guidelines to consider when approaching this conversation with your significant other. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: How difficult it is to watch someone you love hurting, in pain, and struggling. Or how painful it is to want to get support with your partner and they are resistant to the process. An important consideration to remember when thinking about your partner (and what they are going through) and the whole relationship dynamic. Questions to ask yourself before starting the conversation with your partner. Ways to get clear on the frame or intention of the conversation. Eleven recommendations to consider as you navigate this vulnerable conversation. Guidelines to help you stay focused on a productive conversation. Tips around what to watch out for and common pitfalls. MENTIONED: ERP 181: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN MY RELATIONSHIP IS OVER? (Podcast) ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING (Podcast) ERP 154: HOW TO GET RELATIONAL SUPPORT WHEN DEALING WITH ILLNESS & CHRONIC PAIN WITH DR. JACKIE BLACK (Podcast) ERP 109: HOW BEING GENTLE WITH YOUR PARTNER CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE (Podcast) Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash (photo credit) CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA HIGGINS: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email:jessica@drjessicahiggins.com TRANSCRIPT: ERP 182: HOW TO ENCOURAGE YOUR PARTNER TO GO TO THERAPY [TRANSCRIPT] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? Unfortunately, there may come a point in relationship, where we are in enough distress, discontent and disconnect, that we question our relationship or marriage. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: Four relationship dealbreakers (in general) that extremely difficult to overcome. Often, we need to say no to unhealthy patterns, to take a stand for health and connection. When saying "no," we are saying no to the behavior or dynamic, not our partner. Life can feel complicated with various stressors (i.e., financial and career stress, parenting and family issues, health and mental health issues,, etc), and it can be difficult to have clarity on the root issues. 11 areas of relationship dysfunction to consider when evaluating the health of your relationship. Ultimately, you have to make a decision. No one can tell you what is right. Do your best to get clear and aligned in your own body, heart, mind and gut. MENTIONED: ERP 165: HOW TO MANAGE SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES AND RECOVERY IN RELATIONSHIP – DR. ROBERT NAVARRA (Podcast) ERP 175: HOW TO HEAL FROM AN AFFAIR – AN INTERVIEW WITH SCOTT WOOLLEY (Podcast) ERP 104: HOW CAN INFIDELITY MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER?(Podcast) ERP 149: 4 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN YOU ARE UNCERTAIN ABOUT A DECISION (Podcast) ERP 125: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE (Podcast) ERP 128: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART TWO(Podcast) ERP 129: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART THREE(Podcast) ERP 130: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART FOUR(Podcast) ERP 131: HOW KINDNESS CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR LOVE – PART FIVE(Podcast) ERP 001: TURNING CONFUSION INTO CLARITY (WHEN YOU ARE FEELING STUCK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP) (Podcast) Photo by Megan Menegay on Unsplash (photo credit) CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA HIGGINS: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email:jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

GUEST GABRIELLE USATYNSKI: Gabrielle Usatynski, MA, is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Power Couples Counseling in Boulder, CO. She has been in private practice since 2008 and specializes in couples therapy. She is trained in PACT (a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy). Gabrielle has been named 2018 and 2019 Best Marriage Counselor of Louisville by the Louisville Awards Program. She teaches a masterclass on personality disorders in couples therapy to other clinicians in the Boulder area. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) IN THIS EPISODE, GABRIELLE USATYNSKY AND DR. JESSICA HIGGINS DISCUSS: What it means for a person to have a personality disorder. How a personality disorder develops. The evolution of our understanding of personality disorders over time. Mistakes we tend to make when trying to learn if our partner has a personality disorder. What to keep in mind when looking for a good partner and what to focus on when developing a quality relationship. How to have a good relationship with someone who has a personality disorder. "We don't do things differently with people who have personality disorders than we do with people who don't. We're still holding the same container for people to create relationships that are based on safety and security, that are based on distress relief, fostering each other's wellbeing, boosting each other's self-esteem – these types of principles that couples can subscribe to, because we know that's what makes relationships work." — Gabrielle Usatynsky Change occurs … "when they choose to commit to something greater than themselves, and that is the relationship." — Gabrielle Usatynsky CONNECT WITH GABRIELLE USATYNSKI, MA: Website: PowerCouplesCounseling.com Book: How to Stop Stressful Fights with Your Partner MENTIONED: Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, by Dr. Stan Tatkin CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA HIGGINS: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email:jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please reach out to me. Here is my contact information. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. I would really appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.