The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

Some people are in the situation where they have never been attracted to their spouse and/or their spouse has never been attracted to them. In this episode, I explore reasons that this happens, ways that different people respond to this dynamic, and things to think about or discuss with your therapist when you're trying to decide what path to take moving forward. Don't miss my baby analogy! Links: Subscribe: https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe Join my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom When You Choose A Partner Because They Will Be A Great Parent (But You Aren’t Happy Together) I Have No Sexual Chemistry With My Husband 

Subscribe if you love my podcast and to hear my next bonus episode on the role of maintenance sex in a loving relationship! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe A subscriber wrote, "I have a suggestion for a topic.  I would like to hear one on how to graciously accept sex from your partner when they are obviously not in the mood.  When they are offering/willing out of love even though they might not want it themselves.  As a gift to show that they care about your needs.  I recently ran into this and turned it down.  The old script of “she really doesn’t want this, so I don’t want this because it won’t be mutually satisfying” kept playing through my head. " As is usual, I offer a reframe and some other ways to think about this, including other reasons women offer this, some of which men may not realize. Subscribe now, everyone who hasn't, and hear about the related topic of maintenance sex in my next episode! Links: Women: Sex Is A Way To Work On Your Marriage But Not If You Phone It In Responsive Desire: If You're Never In The Mood That's Normal

Subscribe because you love me: https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe  Join my secret Facebook group because you love talking to other DPM aficionados: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom Whether you're married or single, listen to the 10 things that women need in a husband, which I have discovered by working for a dozen years as a therapist with individuals and couples.  Count with me which ones of these my own husband has. And don't miss my rousing pep talk at the end about how you DO DESERVE GOOD THINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP!! And honestly I shouldn't record these in the evening after a full day of work because I get punchdrunk by the end lol. Links: Ten Things To Look For In A Husband: https://www.drpsychmom.com/2017/06/03/10-things-look-husband/

A reader asked me this question, which made me realize how important it is that people understand how depression has nothing to do with external variables like seeming successful or being in a happy family.  In fact, depression is multifaceted and is an illness.  In this episode, I discuss all the causes of depression, and how much of it is due to genetic, biological, hormonal variables in addition to environmental variables like family upbringing.  If you're enjoying these episodes and finding them useful, please subscribe here https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and join my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom! Links: What Aspects Of Depression Can Be Helped By Therapy And Which Can't What To Try In Addition To Therapy and Meds When You're Depressed How Growing Up In A Negative Home Can Paralyze You In Adulthood  Link to still face experiment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0

Many men fall prey to the illusion that all women get treated like princesses who dole out sexual favors when the mood strikes them.  Don't forget about the other half of women who also exist in the inverse situation.  In my clinical experience, in unhappy marriages, half of the women do all the gruntwork and half the men do all the gruntwork.  This includes work, begging for attention/approval, dealing with moodiness, and even worrying about potential infidelity.  When you start to think as a guy that gender roles and socialization are responsible for your wife treating you poorly (in your perception or even in reality), think about all the men that treat women just as poorly or worse. This realization can help you see that it is not as much as gender as it is about a pursuer-distancer dynamic that exists independent of gender, and is related to your family of origin! Subscribe here for the next paid episode on whether men getting into shape will lead to more sex in marriage https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe  And join my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom Links: My Husband Does Nothing In This Marriage and I Do Everything My Husband Doesn't Help Out And I Don't Know How To Ask My Husband Threatens To Leave All The Time, Including If I Don’t Have Sex 6-7 Times A Week

Subscribe here for all bonus episodes including the previous one about neediness vs expressing needs in a healthy way! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe  Working out with your partner can be fun and good for the relationship, and there's many other positive reasons to try it.  This is a common wish especially of men, and I explore why this may be the case!  In case you don't want your husband to listen to this one for fear that I will tell him how easy and transformative working out is for women, I also explain why women may be reluctant to do this and how to be more empathic about this.  Links: My Wife Is Fat https://www.drpsychmom.com/2015/08/05/my-wife-is-fat/ (This is the post I mentioned where the guy is upset with his wife's weight when the baby is still 18 months old.  I call BS on that as discussed.) Depressing study I mentioned: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13679-012-0035-6 ("In a series of exercise studies, Donnelly et al. found in women almost half lost weight and half gained weight, whereas most men lose weight.") Join my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom If you are a Dad Starting Over fan, sign up for our Zoom event on whether monogamy can work here! https://events.zoom.us/ev/ALRxKTP6PeG7CacB_qbwNhHXaPGk46c1jLkaB8dN7jpRwigdlXsIN9TRHKtgaB0yFMZmmHQ?lmt=1648863467000

A reader requested this episode about "nice guy syndrome" and "covert contracts" (linked below). Do women really like nice guys as I insist or can there be too much of a good thing?  I touch on what nice really means, how confidence and niceness are linked, and how to raise kids that are genuinely kind vs trying to be "good" to get something. Please subscribe here and join my Facebook group here! Next paid episode will be about neediness vs expressing needs in a healthy way! If you are a Dad Starting Over fan, sign up for our Zoom event on whether monogamy can work here! https://events.zoom.us/ev/ALRxKTP6PeG7CacB_qbwNhHXaPGk46c1jLkaB8dN7jpRwigdlXsIN9TRHKtgaB0yFMZmmHQ?lmt=1648863467000 Links: Join Facebook private group! https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ Subscribe: https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe What Women Want https://www.drpsychmom.com/2014/11/25/women-secretly-want-therapist-tells/ Men Who Think Their Primary Value Is Being A "Workhorse" The Man Who Tries To Take Everything Off His Wife's Plate But She's Still Unhappy People Pleasing Daughters Of Covertly Narcissistic Moms (female version of nice guys) Nice Guy Syndrome: https://mensgroup.com/nice-guy-syndrome/

In this episode I give you three versions of a two word response that will transform the communication in your marriage! I just taught my son this in the car ride to school, which prompted this episode. I know you're waiting with bated breath to hear what the magic words are, but please take a moment to SUBSCRIBE to my podcast here: https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And join my private Facebook group where we have very interesting discussions about relationships/sex: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ Both give you extra awesome content! Thanks everyone!! And if you are a Dad Starting Over fan, sign up for our Zoom event on whether monogamy can work here! https://events.zoom.us/ev/ALRxKTP6PeG7CacB_qbwNhHXaPGk46c1jLkaB8dN7jpRwigdlXsIN9TRHKtgaB0yFMZmmHQ?lmt=1648863467000 Links: Mr. Perfect and his Crazy Wife  6 Reasons That Your Husband Plays Devil's Advocate What To Do Instead Of Playing Devil's Advocate

In this reader-requested episode, I discuss whether you should get a boob job and what to tell your kids about it.  Spoiler: I have a boob job so I'm biased!! If you love my content please subscribe here for all my bonus episodes: https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and join my secret Facebook group where you can see a video about this topic posted today!! https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom Links: I Don't Feel Lovable, So How Do I Develop Self-Love?

So many people struggling with their sex life are still masturbating individually! Why do this when the goal is a healthy PARTNERED sex life?  Usually, people are under the misapprehension that masturbation doesn't hurt and may even help, but in fact, it detracts from your sex life as a couple.  Listen to my McDonalds and chess.com analogies and maybe take my challenge of no masturbation for a week! Please subscribe here because many episodes are bonus for paid subscribers only! And join my private FB group here! Links: If Your Sex Life Is Less Than Great, Masturbation Isn't Helping Anything