Coaching for Leaders

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*. We discuss a few examples of stubbornness showing up in our work and lives. Some of the reasons that we fall into a pattern of being stubborn: 1) We are perceived as experts in our field or topic (or we’ve convinced ourselves of this) and it simply doesn’t occur to us that we might be wrong about anything related to it. 2) We decided that we know enough about the situation, topic, or problem already and refuse to put in effort to discover more. 3) We need to fight every batte instead of carefully choosing them. 4) We miss the grey areas with people that make each situation unique and worthy of different types of responses from us. How We Can Work To Fix It:  1) Let’s examine how we react or respond when people bring us new ideas, suggestions, or changes – we can notice this ourselves, solicit feedback, or do assessment work. Either way, its important to become aware of our own patterns and tendencies. 2) We need to decide what shift (if any) is important for us to avoid stubbornness. For Dave, this shift is spending more time listening and less time explaining. 3) Find a way to hold yourself accountable for the results you want. If we’re not holding ourselves accountable in some way, then we don’t have sustainable change. 4) Find a shared truth (not just my truth or your truth – but a truth we can hold together). 5) Surround yourself with people who support you – Dave mentions how Bonni has been a big support in this way. Books We Mentioned: Getting to Yes by Fisher and Ury Getting Past No by Ury Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, Heen, and Fisher The Abilene Paradox by Harvey Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

The New Year is a natural time to think about renewal and how to be more effective as a leader. However, some of the typical things many of us do with New Year’s resolutions often end in failure – 88% of the time, according to one study. I look at how three words can help you set the stage for your development actions this year. I discuss how running a marathon helped me understand why so many of us have a hard time tackling so many goals at once. The problem with resolutions: A study by Richard Wiesman in the UK followed 3,000 people for a year and determined that only 12% of people actually fulfill their New Year’s resolutions Intention is easy – but putting the time into action is hard We are going to hit obstacles we don’t anticipate We we bit off more than we can chew, our systems can crumble. I talk about how I made this mistake a bit last year in my planning (see episode #23) and why I tried to do too much all at once. What works better: Reflect on the past year. Ask yourself: What did I do well last year? Where did I fall short? Ask people around you the same questions – talk to people you trust Look at assessments, 360s, performance reviews Examine patterns you are seeing with your team or group of people you lead – it get magnified What are the general themes that emerge of what you want to do differently? One example for me – interaction with others and social media Find three words that can meet it My three: Show Up, Flexibility, and Collaboration Start with one goal that will lead you there Communicate it: Have your 3 words visible Share your words with others Ask others to give feedback/coaching on this This is an effective way to connect with your team as well, as it’s simple for people to remember your goals I’d love to hear your 3 – and also I’d love to hear what works for you in your self-development at the beginning of a year. Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

All of us are trying to be effective while handling some level of chaos, yet some are more efficient in getting it all done than others. Dave responds to a listener question and gives suggestions for how to get it all done when the reason you aren’t getting it done is because you have too much on your plate. 1) Figure out what you need to do exclusively, that no one else can do Look at the last really full week you had… What could you teach someone else to do? Are you believing the fallacy that no one else could do as good a job as you on all your tasks? 2) Have defined outcomes for a specific timeframe Contract with your manager on what outcomes are most important Remember that you can’t hit a target that you don’t have Keep these priorities simple and easily trackable. The SMART framework can be helpful (see episode #15) 3) Do quality work (be careful about just focusing on speed) Figure out what performance metrics are important to your organization Meet or exceed those metrics If you don’t have clarity, try to find out how your leaders are measured 4) Come to the table with solutions Present challenges with the scope of work and give realistic projections backed up with evidence Allow your leader to participate in the decision you’ve made on priorities What not to say? My team has too much work and is overwhelmed (that’s not taking ownership) 5) Learn how to say no You can’t be everything to everybody Set boundaries in advance and trust your gut reactions Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*. It’s understandable that many of us would want to take positive actions to be an effective leader. While positive steps are important, our experience has been that first stopping the things that aren’t working will get you faster results. In this week’s show, we look at what you should stop saying to the people you lead. What is said: “I don’t mean to be xxxxx, but…” What you teach people: I likely am whatever I just said that I don’t mean to be What is said: “But…” What you teach people: Ignore everything I said before I said the word “but” What is said: “Well, to be honest with you…” What you teach people: I’m not always honest all of the time What is said: “You made me feel…” What you teach people: Confusion, since nobody can make you feel anything What is said: Anger expressed at someone bringing bad news, even if they didn’t cause it What you teach people: Don’t ever bring me bad news What is said: I’m going to be the devil’s advocate here… What you teach people: I either like arguing for the sake of arguing or I’m not willing to own my opinions What is said: Giving your own opinion after asking someone for feedback What you teach people: You don’t really care about what they think Bonni also mentioned the 6 Thinking Hats as a model for more effective dialogue Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*. All of us are being bombarded by so much information and data that we can barely keep up. If we want to be able to influence more effectively, we need to be able to do it concisely. Bonni and I discuss strategies for making this happen. Mark Twain received the following telegram from a publisher: NEED 2-PAGE SHORT STORY TWO DAYS. And famously replied… NO CAN DO 2 PAGES TWO DAYS. CAN DO 30 PAGES 2 DAYS. NEED 30 DAYS TO DO 2 PAGES. In his book Information Anxiety, Richard Saul Wurman states that a standard issue of the New York Times contains more information than a citizen of 17th England would have absorbed in their entire lifetime. The problem? Many people will tune us out when we are not concise. People stop taking calls or are often “unavailable” from people who can’t be concise. Lots of people will stop seeking advice from someone who can’t give it concisely. We don’t have credibility with most audiences if we can’t communicate what we know concisely. What are the causes? For many of my clients, their technical training works against them in communicating concisely. People believe (falsely) that they are more credible the longer they speak. Not true…it’s about quality, not quantity. The “PowerPoint culture” in many organizations has reinforced the myth that more information in slides is better when presentation information. Most of the time, it’s not – less is more. Since making something concise takes time and investment, some of us simply just don’t want to do it out of laziness…even when we know it would help the audience. Selfishness sometimes creeps in – we like to hear ourselves talk and we forget that our purpose is to add value for the audience, not to look good ourselves. What are the solutions? Ask yourself if what you are about the communicate is really essential to the overall message? If you put yourself in the audience’s shows, would you really care about what it is you are about to say? Have someone you trust who knows your audience listen to what you are going to say before you get in front of your manager, a meeting, or a large presentation. Budget time to edit down what you are saying to make it more concise. Suggestions for implementation: Have firm standards on your conciseness and stick to them… As an example, this show is almost always 40 minutes or less. My weekly articles are 500 words or less Join Toastmasters and get practice speaking concisely Attend the Dale Carnegie Course and learn and use many models to get ideas across quickly. Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Learn seven practical tips for surviving performance reviews, such as starting early, practicing tough conversations, avoiding comparisons, and assessing organizational alignment. The hosts discuss the challenges of performance reviews, the politics and anxiety involved, and the importance of genuine dialogue between leaders and team members. They also explore the drawbacks of ranking methodologies and highlight the need for ongoing feedback and communication throughout the year.

Many of the clients I’ve worked with over the years would rather skip presenting all together. That’s not reality if you want to advance (or keep) your career these days, so a lot of people begin presentation planning with panic. In this episode, I give you clear steps you can take to reduce the panic and lay groundwork for a truly effective presentation. To prepare a speech without panicking… Consider yourself honored Many of my clients in the past have been less than enthusiastic about speaking opportunities. Not speaking (and building your communication skills in general) can really harm your career. Must Have Job Skills in 2013 from the Wall Street Journal. If you can learn to speak at least reasonable well, you can influence your work, decisions, direction, and so much more. A lot of people fear speaking – but you can do it! Stay away from the computer Don’t start with PowerPoint or Keynote when planning a presentation. You only make it more likely you will read from slides. It’s likely you’ll draft much of the presentation before considering the overall goal. Slides are NOT the presentation – they are just there to enhance it. YOU are the presentation…so start there. Ask yourself, “What’s the purpose of this presentation?” Three likely zones – which pertains to your talk (might be more than one): Persuade Inform Entertain Ask yourself, “What do I want someone in the audience to say about my talk at lunch?” It’s important for us to think through how we want our talk to be remembered. It’s also important that it’s memorable enough to be discussed later. We all have limited bandwidth these days. Mind map Start the mind map with the answer to the previous question – and work backwards. Use paper, a dry erase board, or a tool like iThoughtsHD. Examples, examples, examples, examples, examples… People remember examples, stories, evidence, demonstrations, experiences, etc. Don’t be fooled – content almost always trumps delivery (see CFL episode #38) Share stories whenever possible (see CFL episode #51) Prepare to change the world…seriously. Stay home or get someone else to do it if you’re not game for this. Sin by Silence is a great example of a project (and speaking) where a few people have change the world. Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*. Bonni and I discuss our eight suggestions for managing up: 1) Support your manager publicly: Avoid gossip if you can, and when someone is truly trying to problem solve, do your best to help them understand each side of the situation instead of being critical. One of the fastest ways to lose trust with your manager is for them to discover you’ve been speaking poorly about them behind their backs. 2) Tell your manager what you are planning: It rarely is a problem to over communicate something…most people take the opposite position and don’t communicate enough. Talking openly about what you are planning to do is helpful when the outcome your manager expects isn’t 100% clear – or if your manager has a history of changing their mind about a project without sharing that change. 3) Avoid surprises: Managers and people named Bonni don’t like surprises…and none of us want to be caught off guard in a difficult situation. Help your manager save face by informing them when something doesn’t go as planned. This is hard is your manager is the “shoot the messenger” type, but it’s still an essential way to build trust over the long-term. 4) Come to the table with solutions: This goes right along with number #3. Absolutely address things quickly when there are issues, but also come to the table with a game plan for how it will get resolved. Your plan doesn’t need to be perfect, but it does need to reflect that you’ve done serious thinking about the problem and are ready and willing to put your talents into practice to resolve the issue. 5) Connect requests to their priorities: Most managers care about impact and sustainability. That means that whatever you are trying to do to influence your manager should align with the core mission of the organization and/or provide additional revenue or cost savings. If you can’t make the case for either of those two areas, you’re probably barking the wrong bark up the tree. 6) Spend time thinking through what your boss won’t: Everyone has their strengths and everyone has their blind spots. You do a huge service to your manager when you determine where they don’t have strengths and do whatever you can to support them in that areas through ideas, proposals, and actions. 7) Don’t go over their head: Unless it’s a serious ethical or legal situation, avoid trying to influence your manager by going over their head. Usually this only works once (the first time) and you’ll pay the price for a long time after that, assuming you are still around. 8) Get advice from others you trust: Talk to other people who know your manager and the things they care about. Learn about their style. Getting helpful advice from others can help you position your requests in the right way. Even if you don’t dialogue about it, observe what others do to influence your manager successfully. Remember, you won’t always get what you want – and sometimes that is a good thing. Finally, don’t get discouraged if you don’t see people playing by the same rules. You can really do amazing things if you do these eight things with consistency! Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Kurt Allebach Two weeks ago we looked at how to start a mentoring program. This week, I welcome listener Kurt Allebach who has tons of experience in running and starting mentoring programs to provide more practical perspective on this topic. If you are a mentor, mentee, or just want to learn more about the benefits of mentoring, you’ll gain something of value. Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Effective leaders learn from the good practices of other leaders in order to be more effective. In this special episode, I turn the reigns over to our community to share stories about great leadership moments that were meaningful to them. Join me for five stories than we can all learn something from to help us lead better. Leadership stories from our listening community: Mary Lou Jan Will Kirk Jesse Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.