We live in a world caught between two extremes. In one breath, we eschew and vilify masculinity and traditionally “manly” virtues, labeling them as “toxic” and detrimental to society. Yet in another, we revel in them. Subconsciously pining for a resurgence in traditional masculinity. We are enamored with the classically masculine archetypes that proliferate our favorite movies, books, and TV shows (think Jon Snow, Don Draper, Hank Moody, and Captain America). The blood in our veins rips at the sight of a vicious knockout in the UFC and, as we watch the victor leap to the top of the cage with his arms held high in the air, we can’t help but imagine ourselves standing in his place…the taste of blood on our lips, the deafening roar of the crowd filling our ears, and the inner confidence of knowing that we are capable of handling ourselves in conflict. Yet all of our imagining does little to change the way we feel and show up in life. Despite our desire to “be the man”, to feel strong, accomplished, and powerful…our desires are left unmet. We are not the hero of our lives so we allay our growing sense of emasculation by watching other hero’s through a steady stream of action movies, video games, and extreme sports.  The reason is simple… Men today are lost. In the famous words of Bob Dylan, “The times, they are a-changing.” And modern men have failed to evolve with the changing times. As feminism has given rise to unprecedented equality men are faced with a growing and inescapable sense of obsolescence. Men aren’t needed in the way that we once were and, our seeming lack of utility has left men wondering, “What the hell am I supposed to do now?” We no longer have clear roles in society and men all over the world want to know how to be more masculine and even if it’s okay. And today, I'm going to give you the answers you've been looking for. 

oes it feel like something is missing internally? Like the fire that once consumed your very soul has been extinguished…replaced by frustration, dissatisfaction, and the exhausting monotony of working your fingers to the bone to fuel a materialistic lifestyle you no longer want or have never truly enjoyed?  Like you’re missing out on the most important things in life…the deep connections and friendship, the wild and exciting intimate relationships, and the lust for adventure and purpose that has fueled men for millenia.  Thoreau wrote, “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” Look around you – this is as true today as it was then. Perhaps even more so.  And today, I'm going to teach you how to change it for good. 

Dr. David Lieberman is one of the most sought-after leaders in the fields of human behavior and interpersonal relationships. His groundbreaking research and writings have established him as a remarkable force of influence across a spectrum of fields and industries. His eleven published books, which include two New York Times bestsellers, have been translated into 27 languages, selling more than three million copies worldwide. Dr. Lieberman has appeared on more than 300 programs. He is a frequent guest expert on national television and radio shows, and he has been interviewed for, and featured in, leading newspapers and magazines around the globe. You can connect with Dr. Liberman and learn more at drdavidlieberman.com. Favorite Success Quote “Mental health requires an allegiance to reality at all costs to consequences ” Key Points 1. You Must Accept Reality  The first step to developing true mental health and emotional control is to accept the reality in which you live. As the famous words written on maps and billboards across the world state: “You are here” Wherever ‘here’ is… If you wish to create the life of your dreams you must start where you are. You must develop real clarity on where you are in the important areas of life, where you want to be, and (most importantly) what’s holding you back. I challenge you, right now, to write down the answer to the following questions: Where am I in my health? Where am I in my relationships? Where am I in my happiness, adventure, and play time? Where am I in my career? Until you have a clear picture of where you are, you will never be able to get where you are going. Be real with yourself and accept reality. Because once you do, life get’s a helluva lot more exciting. 2. Maximizing Your Potential Requires Enduring Pain  If any of you have watched the (now) mainstream classic “Rick and Morty” then you probably remember the episode with the Meseeks box. If you have a particularly astute memory, then you probably remember their tagline: “Existence is pain“. Although you don’t often uncover valuable life lessons from cartoons on Adult Swim, I’ve gotta hand it to the writers of the show… They were right. Existence is pain. Because there is nothing in life that can be achieved without pain and nothing that can be truly appreciated without adversity. Pain is what makes existence valuable, it’s what makes life worth a damn. Think about the Olympics that are going on right now. How would you feel if you walked up to the podium and were simply handed an Olympic Gold Medal? Sure, some of you might use it to brag or try and pick up women, but most of you reading this would feel completely and utterly cheated. Why? Because you didn’t earn it. You didn’t endure the pain of early morning workouts, strict diets, and sobriety. You didn’t experience the pain of grueling training sessions and years of dedication for that one moment of victory. Pain is what makes life valuable. So stop avoiding pain and start accepting it. Because the more comfortable you become with pain, the more pleasure and, ultimately, fulfillment you will experience. 3. Uncover Your Values… And Live Them  One of the biggest problems holding men back from achieving their true purposes is that most men aren’t living their lives based on their values. In fact, most men aren’t even consciously aware of what they value. Sure, every guy can tell you that he values family or fitness or money or success but do his actions reflect these values? Have you taken the time to clearly define the values that drive your life? Have you asked yourself the tough questions to help you understand what you care about and why? If not, then you are like a ship at sea with no rudder, a feather in the wind. Without clearly defined values you have no purpose, no mission, and no fire driving you forward. As soon as you finish listening to this podcast I challenge you to sit in silence and contemplate what you value. Once you have your values defined, make a list of actions associated with those values. From there, it’s simply a matter of living those values each and every day. 4. Anger Doesn’t Solve Problems (It Only Helped You Survive) One of the most critical steps to ridding your life of anger is to first change your relationship with it. Many men believe that anger is a good thing. They think that it’s somehow manly to get pissed off and try to solve problems with their fists or strained vocal chords. And while it’s certainly true that there are rare moments in most men’s lives where violence or aggression is called for, these moments make up less than 0.0001% of your lifetime interactions. In almost every other case, anger is simply a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you lack control over yourself and, by extension, the world. The grounded man doesn’t get angry. The strong man doesn’t lose his temper. The wise man doesn’t scream and yell to make a point. Anger is childish and, what’s worse, is that it rarely solves problems. When was the last time that you got pissed off with a friend, family member, or romantic partner, began screaming at them and arrived at a positive outcome? I’m going to assume “Never” is the answer you would give. This is important to realize. Anger doesn’t solve problems. It simply makes them worse. Thousands of years ago on the plains of the Sahara, anger had its place in our survival instincts. But in 2018 it’s an outdated method for interacting with the world that needs to end. 5. Anger Stems from Poor Communication When you get angry with someone, especially someone to whom you are close, your anger typically stems from ineffective communication. Sure, there are times where someone is genuinely trying to egg you on and get a response from you. But 9 times out of 10, you are angry because the communication between you and someone who loves you wasn’t clear. Maybe a friend forgot your birthday, a lover said something that hurt your feelings or a family member berated you for a particular political or religious belief. Whatever the case, most anger is formed from misunderstanding, not genuine friction between two individuals. And that’s the catch 22. When we get angry with someone, the last thing that we want to do is sit down and attentively listen to what they have to say while trying to fully understand and internalize its meaning. All we want to do is prove that we are right and they are an a**hole. But I want to challenge you. Next time you get angry, stop. Take a deep breath and ask the other person what they really mean. What are they really trying to say and why are they saying it. Until you understand the root of the problem which, by the way, is NOT the fact that your wife forgot to do the dishes again, you will never solve anything. So calm down, shut up, and listen. It might not solve anything but it will allow you to enter into the interaction from a place of understanding.

Gary John Bishop is one of the leading Personal Development experts in the industry with a global reputation that has impacted tens of thousands of people worldwide. He is the author of Unf*ck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life.  His “urban philosophy” approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives. He calls it like it is while being influenced by ontology, phenomenology and the philosophy of some of the world’s greatest thinkers to help you be inspired, unburdened and grounded. Favorite Success Quote “You have the life you are willing to put up with.” Key Points 1. You Are Responsible for Being F*cked  Whenever you (or someone that you know) is confronted with the cold reality that they are utterly and completely f*cked, the initial reaction is almost always one of blame. “My parents were terrible! You don’t understand.” “Yeah, well I grew up poor so this is just how it has to be” “You don’t know what it’s like to be an [insert minority group of choice]!” Although every statement above could be true, it doesn’t change the facts. You are 100% responsible for your life. Why would you let anyone else control even a fraction of 1% of your life? Do you really want to leave your future, your potential, and your one life to the whims of other people? If not, then you must accept full responsibility for your life and move one. 2. Authenticity is Inherently About You Whenever people hear the phrase “Just be authentic”, they often assume that they now have free reign to say and react to others in any way that they choose. This is not authenticity, it’s called being an ass hole. Authenticity in your interactions is about expressing your truth and owning that truth. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Let’s say that a client of yours responded to an error in a manner that was completely inappropriate and unacceptable on both a personal and professional level. You are feeling frustrated, hurt, and angry by their actions and feel compelled to bring them up. There are two ways of going about this. The first way, (which most people choose) is to make the interaction about them. “How dare you treat me that way! You are such an ass hole and you clearly don’t value our working relationship! You can take this project and shove it because I can’t stand this crap anymore.” Although the statement might be true, it’s not productive because it’s focused on the other person instead of you. A more authentic way to approach the conversation would be to say: “Look, what you did yesterday made me feel very hurt and undervalued. I don’t know whether you understand how your actions affected our professional relationship, but I wanted to let you know that I will no longer be able to continue working with you if we have another incident like that.” When you shift the focus from the other person and onto yourself, you step into your power and own your responsibility for your feelings and your response to those feelings. 3. Someone Somewhere Has Dealt with What You Are Dealing With  It’s funny how often I hear the words “No one knows what I’m going through”. It doesn’t really matter what the topic is about. It could be an abusive childhood, a controlling partner, a crappy boss, bad health, or any wide variety of ailments and general shittiness. But the simple fact of the matter is that someone somewhere has experienced the exact same thing that you are struggling with and they have turned this perceived weakness into their greatest strength. Sean Stephenson was born with a genetic deformity that stunted his growth, permanently confined him to a wheelchair, and weakened him so much that he’s broken every bone in his body. Yet he’s an inspiration to millions. Tony Robbins was abused as a child and kicked out of his house, left to live on the streets at 16. Today, he is worth more than $1 billion and coaches some of the world’s top performers to the top. Grant Cardone lost his father at the age of 9, became addicted to drugs at 16, and was in line for unemployment at 26. Today, his real estate empire has helped him amass a fortune of more than $750 million with a beautiful wife and two children. Whatever excuse you are allowing to hold you back… It’s bullshit. Someone somewhere has gone through the same things as you and worse. It’s up to you to choose a more empowering story, follow their example, and reclaim control of your life. 4. Always Seek to be of Service When we are focused on ourselves, life can quickly become a pit of chaos and confusion. The smallest obstacles derail us from our dreams, our emotions run wild, and we get so caught up in our own drama that we can miss out on the beauty of our lives. The simplest and most powerful way to fix this issue is to shift your focus from yourself to others by seeking to be of service. This doesn’t mean that you are a doormat but rather that you actively look for opportunities to serve others. In the office, do what you can to serve your boss, your clients, and your customers. At home, seek to serve your wife, your children, and your family. When you go into the gas station, think of how you can serve the attendant helping you find your favorite candy bar. Always look for ways to serve others and your life will transform at a pace you cannot imagine. 5. If You Want Something You Must Express It Something I’ve always found a bit frustrating about our society is how many people feel that they are entitled to things. People want raises without producing more value. They want respect without earning it. And, as it pertains to our conversation, they look for love without expressing it. How man women have you met who complain that they can’t find a “Nice Guy” while sleeping with a different ass hole at the club each week? How many men have you met who complain that they “Can’t find a good girl” and yet spend their weekend’s nose deep in cocaine and hookups? How many people have you met who are always looking for love but never willing to start by giving love themselves? If you want to experience something, then you must be the kind of person who is capable of manifesting and generating it in your own life. In the examples above, if you want a quality partner, you must first become a quality human being. If you want more money, you must first provide more value. If you want more love, you must first express and give love freely before you expect it to be returned to you. Stop searching for the things that you want and start expressing them. As soon as you make this shift, your life will change forever. Influential Books 1. Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Viktor Frankl 2. Being and Time by  Martin Heidegger 3. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.   Next Steps We’re on a mission to impact a million men with powerful life changing content. If you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends on your preferred social network on the left. I spent a ridiculous amount of time creating this article for you and with your support, we can impact the world together. Want to become the strongest version of yourself? Then click here to get a free trial to my elite community of 800+ high-performing men, The Secrets of the Top 1% of Men. Not only will you get tapped into your own “band of brothers”, but you’ll also have access to some of my best content and training as well as bi-weekly group calls with my team of coaches. If you’re ready to push the boundaries of what’s possible in your life and become the man you’ve always wanted to be. This is the fastest way to do it.

Kenneth Shamrock (born Kenneth Wayne Kilpatrick; February 11, 1964) is an American mixed martial artist, Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Hall of Famer, and retired professional wrestler. He emerged as one of the biggest stars in the history of mixed martial arts, headlining over 15 main events and co-main events in the UFC and Pride Fighting Championships during the course of his career and set numerous pay-per-view records. Shamrock is widely considered to be a legendary figure and icon in the sport of mixed martial arts. Shamrock was named The World’s Most Dangerous Man by ABC News in a special entitled “The World’s Most Dangerous Things” in the early part of his UFC career, a moniker which has stuck as his nickname. Favorite Success Quote “You have no idea what I’m willing to do to get where I’m going.” Key Points 1. Be Willing to Do Whatever it Takes If you want to truly succeed in the most competitive environments then you must cultivate a “Whatever it Takes” mentality. This doesn’t mean that you are willing to engage in unethical or immoral activities, simply that you are willing to sacrifice, to hustle, and to grind your way through any challenge and any adversity. For those of you who are content to be in second place (and there’s nothing wrong with that), doing whatever it takes isn’t truly necessary. You can skate by, cut corners, take shortcuts, and still arrive at your destination. But if you want to be the best, the top 1%, a leader, mover, and shaker in your industry, then you must show up early, stay late, and outwork all of your competition. The price of admission is high, but the rewards are worth it. 2. You Have to Choose Yourself In business and in life, most people wait to be called on. Like a child being called on by the teacher instead of raising their hand, most people wait until life presents them with an opportunity or opens a door. If you want to play the game of life in the top echelon of society, then you need to find opportunities and kick the doors down yourself. Or as previous podcast guest James Altucher puts it, you must Choose Yourself. No one is going to give you the freedom, the career, or the lifestyle that you desire. If you are a man, then do what needs to be done and take it for yourself. Take massive action, take huge initiative and do the work. Because if you don’t… Someone else will. 3. If You Don’t Seize the Moment Someone Else Will Life is competition. Anyone who has even the most basic understanding of our species’ history and the story of evolution knows this. Although we live in a world filled with abundance and a plethora of resources, we also live in a world filled with fierce competition. And the most dangerous thing that you can do in your life, relationship, or career is to hesitate and allow someone else to seize your moment. Think about how many times you saw that pretty girl, had that business idea or wanted to make that change but you didn’t. You hesitated, you waited, and you procrastinated. But someone else didn’t. Someone else went up and introduced himself, someone else set up their LLC and took action on their idea, someone else made the change, reaped the rewards and enjoyed the spoils of their labor… But you didn’t. In each of our lives, we are presented with a small handful of pivotal moments where we must decide whether we will take action or not. It is in these moments that your destiny is shaped. Don’t allow someone else to shape it for you. Take action, seize the moment, and live the life you’ve always dreamed of. 4. Find Your “Person”  If you continue down your current trajectory of personal and professional development, sometime in the future, you will arrive at a place in your life where you are surrounded by “Yes Men.” Your success and reputation will be so great that the people in your social circle will rarely tell you the truth and will, instead, try to tell you what they think you want to hear. This is one of the most dangerous places any man can be. You must find someone, whether a friend, relative, or coach who will tell you the truth all the time with compassion. You need someone in your life who will tell you when you are messing up, when you are on the right track, and when you need to shut up and get things done. Find your “Person” who will always be honest with you and you will find that your life will be a lot smoother and easier than it will when you operate on the opinions of impressed “friends”. 5. Slow Down and Be Patient  Life is a marathon, not a sprint. It seems like our instant gratification society has lost touch with the realities of life and, the simple truth is that life is meant to be lived and experienced. Don’t be so eager to achieve great things that you forget to live your life and enjoy the journey. Be patient and allow success to happen in its own time and its own way.

Russell Whitney is an entrepreneur, philanthropist and a recognized worldwide leader in the business, real estate investment, and financial training fields. Russell prospered in both business and real estate and eventually used his knowledge and experience to help others do the same. Over the past 15 years, he has traveled the world speaking to audiences as large as 10,000, at one time to a fully packed arena. He has spoken alongside luminaries like Donald Trump, Robert Kiyosaki, Anthony Robbins, and George Foreman, always spreading his message of how to take immediate action to achieve financial goals and dreams by following his easy-to-follow, step-by-step process. Favorite Success Quote “Rock bottom is the foundation that you can build upon” “If you truly want something you will find a way, if you don’t you will find an excuse.” Key Points 1. Fear of the Unknown Disappears when you Commit to Massive Self Education The one thing that holds most people back from achieving the life that they want is not laziness, procrastination, or ignorance. It’s fear of the unknown. When you don’t know what will happen next, it’s easy to become complacent and get trapped in mediocrity. You think to yourself “Things aren’t that bad right now. If I quit my job, leave this relationship, or move to a new city, everything could go horribly wrong!” And these thought patterns keep you stuck in your current situation and prevent you from ever achieving your dreams. So what’s the solution? Massive self-education through books, courses, and mentors. Other people have been where you are right now, taken massive action, and experienced the joy and pain inherent in the goals you are pursuing. Instead of trying to do it all on your own, learn from others. By educating yourself on your goal you will know what obstacles to expect, how to overcome the challenges you will experience, and how to capitalize on opportunities that come your way. When you educate yourself, fear disappears. 2. Sales is the Key to All Financial Success If you want to succeed at business and in life, then you must become a master of sales. There’s no way around it. Regardless of what you do to make money or what your goals are in life, sales is the key to unlocking everything that you want. Want to make millions of dollars with real estate? Then you must learn to sell the leads, prospects, and clients on why they should work with and buy from you. Want to have a beautiful spouse and an amazing family? Then you must go out and sell yourself to your ideal partner and convince them that they should be with you and not the millions of other men out there. Want to lose weight, gain muscle, and get in the best shape of your life? Then you must go out there and sell yourself on why it’s a ‘must’ for you to go to the gym and eat clean every day. Sales is the key to everything. The sooner you can master it the sooner you can have the life that you want. 3. Use Fear of Failure as your Greatest Motivation After the 2008 market collapse, Russel lost everything. He went bankrupt, became homeless, severed ties with his family and friends, and developed a massive drug problem. One night as he was contemplating suicide, he suffered from a drug-induced schizophrenic episode and flushed every narcotic that he had down a toilet. He committed to himself that he was going to get sober and rebuild his life and in a little under 3 years, he went from living on the streets to reaching multi-millionaire status. He told me that the reason he is so “Disciplined” with his finances and lifestyle today is not willpower or a commitment to his future, but rather a crippling fear of going back to rock bottom. In our modern society, we often treat fear as a negative thing. In some cases (as with fear of the unknown) fear can cripple us and prevent us from taking action. But in other cases, fear can be our most powerful ally in driving ourselves towards the life that we want. Learn to harness your fear and you’ll be amazed at the results that you can achieve. 4. The Key to Success is Humility and Drive  In our interview, Russel shared a story about one of his students who was a young 20-something who went from a college dropout to multi-millionaire with online business in only a matter of months. When I asked him what separated his student from the other people he’d mentored Russel’s answer was simple. “He’s willing to listen to people who are smarter than he is and he has a tremendous hustle and drive.” Humility and drive. If you want to achieve your biggest goals, it will not be easy. But it is simple. If you are willing to learn from people who are smarter than you, be humble about your abilities, and obsessed with your craft, you will succeed. Period. It may take months, years, or even decades, but if you are willing to be humble and put forth a tremendous effort, nothing can stand in the way of achieving success. 5. As Soon as You Make Money Throw it Away (Invest) I’m about to give you the secret to financial abundance and freedom for the rest of your life. Are you ready? Here it is… Stay broke and invest every extra dollar you make.  It’s that simple. If you are willing to set a reasonable budget for yourself so that you can enjoy your lifestyle and you are willing to increase your income and invest every single dollar into income producing assets, you will become a millionaire over the course of your life. It doesn’t matter how much money you make or how many bills you have. If you can set a budget, increase your income to exceed your budget, and invest the surplus, you will get rich.

Olaniyi “Niyi” Sobomehin is a former American football fullback. He played college football at Portland State. He was signed by the New Orleans Saints as an undrafted free agent in 2008. After being cut from the NFL due to an injury, Olaniyi decided to begin coaching and from there, in addition to being a full-time firefighter, he has built a coaching company imnotyou.com to help young athletes be successful at an elite level. You can connect with him and learn more here, imnotyou.com Favorite Success Quote “People wish to be settled but only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Key Points 1. You Must Have a Vision  Before you can achieve any goal, you must first set that goal. Before you can arrive at a destination, you must know what destination you wish to arrive at. Before you can live the life of your dreams, you must have a vision for what that life looks like. So many men today walk around aimlessly, without any real vision or purpose to their lives. Maybe they have some arbitrary goals that they set because society told them to, but they lack a visceral purpose and vision that pushes them forward in life. If you hope to live a great life, a life of meaning, a legendary life, then you must start with your vision. Who do you want to be? What do you want to achieve? How do you want to show up every day? How many lives do you want to impact? Until you know the answers to these questions, you cannot achieve the life you were born to achieve. 2. Reverse Engineer Your Vision and Treat Failures as Opportunities  Once you have a vision, you have just gotten started. With your vision clearly written down, you must reverse engineer the steps that are required to achieve that vision until you have a long list of small steps that will help you achieve your goals in the coming years. Once you know what steps you need to take and when you need to take them (this will take you a long time to figure out), you must take daily massive action and learn from everything you do. You must remember that failure doesn’t mean you’re out of the game, it means you have a chance to learn. For example, if you sit down to work and have a completely unproductive day, instead of viewing this as a failure, ask yourself “What did I learn?” Maybe you learned that your phone needs to be on airplane mode throughout the workday. Maybe you learned that you need to have your days planned before you begin them. Or maybe you learned that you just need to get some extra sleep because you’re too damn exhausted to work. Whatever you learn, write it down, tweak your approach, and continually learn from the process until you achieve your goal. 3. Stay Hungry and Focus on Growth  One of the biggest traps into which many men fall is the trap of success and complacency. You see, many of us start with relatively small visions that we achieve early on in life. Maybe you’ve sold your business, finally earned the 6-figure salary, or married the woman of your dreams. That’s great, but you’re not even close to finished. In fact, you’re just getting started. Life is all about expansion, it’s about growth, it’s about constantly striving to be, do, and achieve more. Instead of resting on your laurels, you must stay hungry. Even when you are enjoying the fruits of your hard work, you must set your sights on the next milestone, the next goal, and the next vision. Because if you don’t, if you settle in your current circumstances, you will eventually atrophy and die, leaving this world with so much potential left on the table. No matter how successful you are or how much success you achieve, you must remember the famous words of Steve Jobs and “Stay hungry, stay foolish”. 4. Commit Yourself to Discipline Every Single Day Most of you have probably heard our interview with Jocko Willink where he echoes his infamous statement that “Discipline Equals Freedom”. And most of you treat this statement as a convenient war cry instead of an ethos by which you live your life. Most men commit to discipline sporadically and as a result, they make great achievements and breakthroughs sporadically as well. They are disciplined when they need to be but they aren’t disciplined when they should be. And this reality is clearly reflected in their success and failures. If you want to be one of the greats, if you want to be a legend, if you want to be the kind of person who people remember, then you must be willing to discipline yourself daily. You must make a commitment to discipline every day that you wake up, you must stand strong in your values, and take massive action towards your goals even when you don’t need to. This is the only way to achieve lasting success and it’s the only way that you will leave a dent in this universe. 5. Surround Yourself with the Right People  When you have created a vision, reverse engineered that vision, committed yourself to discipline, and begin learning from your failures, there is only one final step towards ultimate achievement. Your network. Who you surround yourself with is one of the single most important factors in anyone’s journey. If your five closest friends are millionaires, high achievers, and grounded men, then you will be the sixth. Conversely, if your five closest friends are slobs, party animals, and lost boys then you will become the sixth. You are the average of your five closest friends so pay careful attention to the company that you keep… It can literally make or break your success.

Charles Duhigg is a Pulitzer-prize winning reporter and the author of Smarter Faster Better, about the science of productivity and The Power of Habit, about the science of habit formation in our lives, companies, and societies. You can connect with him and learn more at charlesduhigg.com/. Favorite Success Quote “Think more deeply about what’s going on so that I can determine how I should respond?” Key Points 1. Ask Yourself “What Do I Really Want Out of This?” One of the greatest tragedies of modern society is that most people are vigorously pursuing goals that aren’t congruent with who they are and what they really want. Society, our friends, and our families all encourage us to earn more money, pack on more muscle, get married (or not), buy a house, and do what “good” little boys do. Unfortunately, most people never actually take the time to ask themselves what they really want. They never set aside the time to think purposefully about their life, their vision, and their goals. As a result, more and more people arrive at their deathbeds wishing that they could live their lives over again in a different way. I want to encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself “What do I really want from this?” In every situation, whether it’s in the bedroom, the boardroom, or the gym, set aside the time to think deeply about what you really want and how you can attain it. 2. Your Habits are Predicated on Queues, Actions, and Rewards While the old saying, “Knowing is half the battle” might be a little bit hyperbolic, it’s origins are found in reality. If you don’t truly understand a system, process, or job, you will never be able to accomplish it successfully and nowhere is this truer than in the realm of productivity, habits, and performance. Most people simply assume that they are lazy or a procrastinator or just plain unlucky. But the reality is that most people have never been taught how to properly build the habits of success into their lives. Luckily, building a habit… Any habit is very simple (notice I did not say easy). Habits can be broken into three parts: The trigger, the action, and the reward. If you’ve ever been addicted to cigarettes then I have no doubt that you are uncomfortably familiar with this process. You see a cigarette or experience stress (the trigger), you pull out a smoke and light it up (the action/habit), and then you experience a buzz from the nicotine and a sense of relaxation (the reward). But the same pattern can be found in positive habits. For example, you might see your running shoes and gym clothes (the trigger), decide to go workout (the action), and then experience a rush of endorphins and endocannabinoids that give you a feeling of elation and euphoria (the reward). Every habit can be broken down into these three simple steps and when you understand this framework you will be able to manipulate your actions and outputs at will. Pay close attention to the “Reward” element of this framework and you will be able to change your habits quicker and easier than you ever believed possible. 3. The Small Daily Decisions Matter  It doesn’t matter what you had for lunch today, if you went to the gym or not, how many drinks you had, or how much you slept. But what does matter is what you consistently have for lunch, how often you go to the gym, how frequently you drink, and how serious you are about the quality of your sleep. For most people, there is no one action that will make or break their life and success. Instead, their lives are the direct result of thousands of tiny actions and decisions made overtime. When you realize this, you will begin to see the small decisions in a different light. Because even though one action might not make a difference today, when that action is repeated and compounded over years and decades, it will literally determine the quality and capacity of your life. 4. Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals  With the new year right around the corner, many of you are undoubtedly setting New Year’s resolutions. Although I think resolutions are a terrible idea (which I will be discussing in an upcoming article), if you are going to set resolutions, Charles shared a few simple tips to help you actually stick to them this year. For starters, you want to set two major goals, a stretch goal and an easy goal. The stretch goal should scare the crap out of you and be something that you aren’t 100% certain you can achieve. It shouldn’t be unrealistic, just difficult. Your second major goal should be an important habit or result that you know you can achieve if you are simply willing to put in the work. Once you have your goals, you are going to break them down using the SMART formula. Specific: What do I want to achieve? Who is required to achieve it? What resources will I need? Measurable: How much? How many? How will I know my goal is achieved? Achievable: How realistic is this goal based on my current restraints? Relevant: Is this goal worthwhile? Is the timing right? Is it applicable in my current environment? Time Bound: When will my goal be achieved? What benchmarks and checkpoints should I set for myself? When you break down a goal in this manner, you clear all of the clutter from your mind and you’re left with nothing but clear, actionable steps that will help you get from where you are to where you want to be. 5. Assume That You Will Achieve Success  One of the biggest roadblocks on your path to achieving your goals are your own limiting beliefs and b.s. internal stories. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. You are already doing better than you think you are and you’re much more likely to achieve success than you probably believe. So why not act in a way that is reflective of this reality? Assume that you will be successful at every endeavor you pursue. Assume that if you are willing to stick it out and persevere, you will achieve your goals and dreams. Act as if you are already successful, put in the work, and you will achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself.

Dan Millman is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor. After an intensive, twenty-year spiritual quest, Dan’s teaching found its form as the Peaceful Warrior’s Way, expressed fully in his books and lectures. His work continues to evolve over time, to meet the needs of a changing world. Dan’s seventeen books, including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, have inspired and informed millions of readers in 29 languages worldwide. The feature film, “Peaceful Warrior,” starring Nick Nolte, was adapted from Dan’s first book, based upon incidents from his life. Much of Dan’s time is devoted to writing and speaking. His keynotes, seminars, and workshops span the generations to influence men and women from all walks of life, including leaders in the fields of health, psychology, education, business, politics, sports, entertainment, and the arts. Dan and his wife Joy live in Brooklyn, NY. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. You can connect with him and learn more at peacefulwarrior.com Favorite Success Quote “Success is making progress towards a meaningful goal” “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” Key Points 1. Seek Excellence Not Success One of the most common mistakes that people make in their pursuit of happiness is that they seek success instead of seeking excellence. Let me break down what this means… Most people, especially the kinds of people who listen to this podcast and read this blog, are future and goal oriented. We are laser-focused on the attainment of something, on the accomplishment of something sometime in the distant future. But what we often forget is that these accomplishments for which we are striving are made up of individual pieces. For example, no one can “Build a Business”. A business is built by doing hundreds, maybe even thousands of small things well. You don’t “Build” your dream body by doing one thing once. You build your dream body by doing thousands upon thousands of reps with perfect form. And that is where your focus should be. Yes, you must have compelling goals that push you forward and encourage you to perform at your best. But you must always remember that every worthy goal is comprised of thousands and thousands of micro-actions that you must take in the present moment. They are the product of committing to excellence in the present moment and maintaining that commitment year after year after year. Focus on doing things with excellence and success will inevitably follow. 2. The Quality of Your Moments Becomes the Quality of Your Life  In the same way that many people mistakenly pursue success instead of pursuing excellence, many of us devote our lives to the pursuit of the “Good Life”. We hustle, grind, and sacrifice so that, one day, we can finally be happy and enjoy a high quality of life. We give up the things that are most important for an uncertain future that may or may not bring joy and fulfillment into our lives. And by doing this, we forget to live our lives as they are happening. We fail to realize that the “Good Life” is nothing more than a life filled with “Good Moments”. If you want a good life, you must have good years. To have good years, you must have good months, weeks, and days. And to have good days, you must have good moments. You must learn to embrace where you are right now and enjoy the moment for all that it is. Because the present moment is everything. It’s all that you have. There is no future. There is no past. There is only now. So live in the now. Cultivate those small moments of joy, happiness, and excellence. If you do this, I promise you that you will look back on your life with a smile, knowing that you lived it well. 3. Trust the Process of Your Life Unfolding  This if the 400th interview that I’ve conducted on the Knowledge for Men podcast and, after almost 4 years of interviewing top achievers, thinkers, and performers, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern. Success, happiness, and fulfillment almost always exist on the other side of pain. Grant Cardone was struggling with a drug addiction, broke, and unemployed before he found his future in sales and real estate. Ryan Blair was involved in the most dangerous L.A. gangs almost sentenced to a decade of incarceration before he fell in love with entrepreneurship. Bedros Keulian was literally digging through dumpsters to find food before he created the 8-figure fitness empire that he now owns today. Yet these men trusted the process (admittedy they may have done so unconsciously). They were willing to take a leap of faith and trust the process of their life unfolding. They were able to accept that, as Steve Jobs said, “You will never connect the dots looking forward, only looking backward. So you have to somehow trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” And you must do the same. Trust the process of your life unfolding. Live in the present moment. Have faith in yourself and in the universe and realize that life is an adventure that is meant to be lived… Not avoided. 4. Anticipation is One of the Greatest Sources of Suffering  One of the most sinister and seemingly innocuous sources of suffering is anticipation. Think about it like this… Imagine that there is a co-worker whom you cannot stand. The kind of person who makes your skin crawl and your stomach turn into a knot. Imagine that later today, you have a meeting and you know that this particular co-worker will be in attendance. In anticipation of the event, you imagine all of the possible outcomes in your head, forcing yourself to live in an unpleasant and mentally exhausting reality that hasn’t even happened yet! You bring yourself into a state of dissatisfaction and discomfort because you are living in future pain even though the present moment is completely tranquil! How differently could this scenario be if you simply allowed yourself to live in the moment. To know that you will have to face your peer but… Not yet. To give yourself permission to say “I am not in that situation in the present moment so I am going to live life now and cross that bridge when I get there.” 5. We Are All Just Humans  At the end of the day, we are all human beings on this journey together. We have different views, beliefs, personalities, and desires, but we are all people. We all experience deep emotions, we all have dreams and desires, and we all have struggles to overcome. Even the seemingly invincible characters like Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, or Bradd Pitt have problems. We are all humans. No one person is inherently better or worse than anyone else. We are all in this race together. So why can’t we start acting like it? Instead of judging others and blaming them for their shortcomings, seek to understand and empathize with their struggles. Instead of acting superior to your fellow man, remember the times in which you acted and behaved in unscrupulous or unsatisfactory ways. Instead of pretending that you are on this journey alone, remember that we are all in this together. Man, woman, black, white, gay, straight, republican, democrat… We are all in this together. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we will unlock our specie’s true power.

Mastin Kipp is the #1 best-selling author of Daily Love: Growing into Grace and his latest book Claim Your Power and has been recognized by Oprah Winfrey on her Emmy-award winning show Super Soul Sunday as a “spiritual thinker for the next generation.” He is the founder of Functional Life Coaching (TM) and has appeared alongside Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Brene Brown and others as a part of Oprah’s Super Soul 100, a collection of awakened leaders who are using their voices and talent to elevate humanity. He leads sold-out seminars and retreats all over the world, and collectively two million people in over 100 countries have been influenced by Mastin’s work. You can connect with him and learn more at mastinkipp.com. Favorite Success Quote “Unless you’re in mortal danger, fear is a compass showing you where to go.” Key Points 1. You Always Have a Choice Between What is Easy and What will Lead to Your Dreams  In every person’s life, they will come to a hallway, perhaps many hallways where they will be presented with a simple choice. Will they take the first door on the left, the door that leads to ease, comfort, and safety? Or will they take the second door, the door on the right that exposes them to danger at every corner but allows them to live their lives fully and completely? When you take the first door, you make the decision to play safe to avoid doing the uncomfortable things that will drive you towards your dreams, and eventually, you become so bitter and jealous of other’s success that you begin to sabotage yourself and your goals. When you take door number two, you take a bold step into uncertainty. And it’s terrifying. But it’s also worth it. 2. What’s Really Going On?  If you have found yourself stuck in a rut, unable to break free of the habits and tendencies that have kept your life where it is today, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself, “What’s really going on?” Peel back the layers of the onion and look beneath the surface. Maybe you are terrible at relationships and no matter how many beautiful women you bring into your life, they all seem to leave faster than they show up. Are you really terrible at relationships or is there something in your past, some sort of unresolved trauma or experience that is causing you to subconsciously sabotage yourself? Is there a deeper reason for the struggles that you are experiencing? A common one that I see with many men is the problem of laziness and procrastination. I know so many men who are powerful, excited and motivated about life, but when it comes time to actually go to work, they drag their feet and fail to accomplish even the most basic tasks. Are they lazy? Maybe. But I think the real problem is that their subconscious is telling them that there is an incongruence. Maybe they are working a job they aren’t passionate about, maybe they are in a business they don’t really love, or selling a product they don’t truly believe in. Whatever the case may be, you will never be able to fix your biggest problems until you understand the root of the problems themselves. What’s really going on? 3. Don’t Just Use Your Pain… Transcend It  Your pain is a powerful motivating force, but it must be used for good. I see so many men who are burnt out and struggling simply because they’ve spent the past decade of their lives fueled by pain. Pain is often the spark that can start a fire in your life. But if you aren’t careful, it can also be the fire that consumes and burns your life to the ground. Therefore, we must learn to transcend our pain and trauma. Use it to ignite the fire you need to make bold moves and step forward in life and then… Let it go. Come to terms with your pain, let go of your suffering, and forgive whoever and whatever hurt you. Pain is a powerful ally. But it can be an even more powerful enemy. 4. Start with What You Have Where You Are If you are broke, struggling, and depressed, then this is one of the most powerful pieces of advice that you will ever hear. You cannot win the marathon that is life until you start running. And the only way to start running this race is to start where you are with what you have. You might be living in a 400 square foot apartment with no running water and $50,000 in debt. Great. Start where you are with what you have. You might be living a great life but you know that you can do better if you just knew how. Great. Start where you are with what you have. There is no better time to start moving towards your dreams than today. No matter what you have or don’t have. No matter what you lack or need. Start where you are with what you have. 5. Your Purpose is Based on an Emotional State and Nothing Else I often hear guys who will tell me that they are unsure of their purpose in life. But what’s funny to me is that no one seems to have agreed upon what purpose actually means. In the same way that 30 different people can all believe in “God” but they all have wildly definitions of who/what “God” is, thousands of you reading this will all have different definitions of what purpose is and how you pursue it. But here’s the thing. Purpose is extremely simple. Your purpose is nothing more than an emotional state that matters to you and your ability to express and cultivate that emotional state. Purpose is the feeling that you get when you are acting in a way that is congruent with what you want. Purpose is the emotion that you feel when you are expressing yourself at the highest level. Purpose is a fluid emotional state that can change and shift on a daily basis. So stop worrying about finding your purpose and realize that it’s your responsibility to cultivate your purpose.